Connecting Couples

Before wrapping this series up, Chad and Angela get really practical about a vital part of staying connected, and that is doing forgiveness work often. Its easy to say that we should not harbor offense against our partner, but when they have and sometimes continue to offend us, its easier said than done. Chad and Angela give you tangible examples of how they offend each other on a daily basis, and then show you the work they do to repair and keep their attachment secured. This is the 'work' of relationship, and without it, it is easy to get to a place where you start to believe negative things about the character of your partner. Do the work with them in this episode! 

To read more about The Real Imhoffs, check out: www.therealimhoffs.com

With just a few more episodes in this series, Chad and Angela reiterate how hard this process is. The patterns and strategies we have been leaning on for years don't just go away because we are listing to new ideas. Adapting our responses and learning how to bring a vulnerable feeling forward is a process that takes time and repetition to get good at. In this episode, the Real Imhoffs remind us that THIS IS HARD. These moves are hard. Adjusting is hard. Stopping cycles in the moment is hard. It is all hard to do... but it IS possible, which is why they encourage you to keep doing the work. In this Connect Point they have your remind your partner that you are committed to this relationship and committed to trying new things. Check it out. 

Once we have our partner's attention, how do we let them know what we need from them to support us in our experience? This process is layered. First,  you have to know what is going on. Then,  you have to be able to articulate it to your partner. Also, you partner has to be in a position to hear it and engaged enough to be able to respond. Finally, it would help you and your partner if you both knew what you needed from them in that moment, but how? Most of us were never given the instructions of this process and never really saw it modeled. Join Chad and Angela as they break it down, give examples, set up your conversation and share their experience showing up for one another.  Check it out. 

For more information about The Real Imhoffs go their website: www.therealimhoffs.com

Continuing their series on things they wish they had known earlier, Chad and Angela put into application the idea from the previous episode; A.R.E. Now that you have had the conversation about being accessible, responsive and engaged, you and your partner have created the safety you need to share painful things vulnerably and have some assurance that you will be responded to. As a diving off point for their connect point, they encourage you to watch and consider Dr. Edward Tronick's 'Still Face Experiment' (watch at this link  https://youtu.be/apzXGEbZht0), and then consider a time when you needed a response but didn't get one. They share an example from their own relationship, then encourage you to do the same. Check it out. 

In last week's episode we discussed T.E.M.P., a great way to identify what is happening for you internally. In this week's episode we take that awareness and pass it over to our partner. A secure relationship requires not only an individual awareness of what is happening for us, but then also the ability to include our partner in our process so they can support us and respond to us in what we are experiencing. Join Chad and Angela in this episode of their series 'What We Wish We Knew' as they discuss, share examples and then cue up a conversation for you to start talking about a shared experience. 

The Real Imhoffs keep this series of What We Wish We Knew going with this internal dive into self awareness. If we back up before cycles and before Pursuer and Withdrawer roles and even before we met our partner, we already had a process of emotion going. Things in life 'triggered' us, which caused us to feel something internally, that we then assigned meaning to, which we learned to respond to with a specific behavior... this is the process of emotion. An important component of having an emotionally healthy marriage is first being able to identify and then articulate YOUR own personal emotional process. Take an internal dive with Chad and Angela as they explain how this works and give examples from their own experience. 

To learn more about the Imhoffs, go to their website: www.therealimhoffs.com

The series continues on things that it would have been good to know earlier in your marriage relationship, but no time like the present to bring a new awareness to some old habits. Whether you pursue conflict or give it some space, chances are you learned that strategy long before you met your partner and then made adjustments along the way to protect yourself and the relationship. Join Chad and Angela as they ask you to consider where you got those original strategies from and how they might still be influencing the interactions you have with your partner. 

Continuing in this series about 'What We Wish We Knew', Chad and Angela discuss the influence our families of origin had on shaping our level of comfort and awareness around topics like money, politics, sex and even being able to do a repair or ask your partner for forgiveness. We learned how to or how not to talk about important topics that still shape some of the conversations we are willing to engage in our marriage relationship. Listen as the Real Imhoffs share their own insight on these topics and then cue up a conversation for you and your partner to have around your own experience. 

To email or learn about about Chad and Angela, check out: www.therealimhoffs.com

Chad and Angela continue their talk about in-laws in this episode, drawing out a few outliers from the previous segment. While it IS important that you are the one who talks to your own family of origin if something needs to be addressed, there are some cases where your partner might need to be the one making that connection. Listen as the Real Imhoffs get real about a few things they've had to navigate from their own experience and then connect with your partner about how things are going with your in-laws. 

(During this episode, Angela's mic dropped out a few times. We recovered the sound, but it's slightly distorted. We apologize for that- this is not our usual quality of sound). 

Continuing in our series on What We Wish We Knew, the Imhoffs tackle the fun topic of In-Laws this week. Regardless if your in-laws are great or challenging, it is important that your alliance with your partner is your priority when it comes to in-law relationships. Listen as Chad and Angela share how they learned this the hard way, plus give a few tips on how to make sure your immediate family is responded to and heard. Check it out. 

For more information about Chad and Angela, check out: www.therealimhoffs.com