January 13, 2025

Contraception Conflicts in Marriage, Healing from Sexual Abuse for Men, and Restoring Intimacy After Pregnancy | ACW315

52 minutes

Questions answered this episode:

I’m a part of a pro-life non-profit organization. Even though my journey began in 2015, it was only recently that I discovered the potentially abortive nature of many contraceptives leading me to remove my IUD. I’m married to a good husband. Unfortunately, he believes society’s message that even within marriage the responsible thing to do is to use contraception when not ready. He understands that contraception and IUDs are immoral because they can be abortive. When I told him that I want to eliminate all forms of contraception, he got mad at me and told me that I’m becoming an extremist.

I’m a victim of sexual abuse as a child and as a young adult. I know I’m called to marriage but I worry that when I do get there I will be less of a gift to my bride and that the marital embrace will not be what it should be due to the innocence that was taken from me. What advice do you have for me as a man to face this with Mary and continue to open myself to Jesus’ redemption when I feel almost unredeemable?

I got married 3 years ago and we have a little boy. I became pregnant soon after we were married and while the pregnancy wasn’t incredibly difficult, it did have its challenges. Because of this, I fear looking back that my husband and I didn’t learn to communicate or how to love each other well physically. Going into marriage, I believe that it was right to make love when the woman wasn’t fully ready, and I certainly never was during pregnancy. However, after giving birth, it became extremely difficult and almost traumatic. And it became nearly impossible to come together. I actually felt terrible sadness, resentment and anger. I have overcome much of this but I still feel hurt form those years. For women who dread making love or don’t enjoy it, how can a husband and wife help each other understand the other and approach this problem lovingly?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

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