When you’re not happy with your current situation—whatever it is—you may feel angry. You think you’re pissed at the outside world, but really your anger lies with yourself. You don’t accept where you are; it’s not where you want to be. So in an attempt to quell your anger, you try to control other people, forcing your will upon them and manipulating them to do what you want. This provides a distraction so you don’t have to take responsibility for the choices you have made.

This happens quite often in unhealthy relationships. You beat yourself up for being in a situation you can’t get out of, but you don’t own your role in staying. The end result is anger. Why did the universe put you here? Until you take responsibility for your choices, you will continue to be the angry victim, thinking everything and everyone is conspiring against you. Anger feels powerful and comfortable because it’s a familiar emotion. It enables a sense of self-righteousness: It’s not ME who is causing this, it’s everything around me. All this does, however, is keep you stuck in wanting your external world to change, which is the opposite of empowering

The next time you’re angry at your situation (for many of you that’s right now!), look at the choices you made to get where you are. You always have a choice, even if it’s simply the perspective you take to look at things. Anger is a choice. So you can continue down that path, being angry at the world, or you can accept that you got yourself here. Not someone else… YOU. There is no power in anger; power comes from taking responsibility for your decisions. Start owning your role and anger will slip away.