You've broken up. Perhaps it was today, weeks ago, months ago or years ago, but you’ve already done what most people think is the hard part: actually breaking up. If you're avoidant, you might have compartmentalized your feelings, trying to erratically cope with feeling like crap, and think you have “moved on”. Or perhaps you're invested in the life of your ex, following him/her on social media, remaining friendly or staying in some sort of painful contact.

When coping with insecure attachment, many of us try to keep reliving the relationship, which just brings up the pain over and over again. So how do you make a breakup emotionally healthy, and view it as an opportunity for growth? I’ll share some ways to move beyond basic survival into feeling good about yourself in the breakup aftermath.