Couplehood

How do you prevent small issues from becoming embedded in the fabric of your relationship? ‌

As a couples therapist, people often come to see me when they are in what I call the ‘breakdown lane’. They’re dealing with something that they can no longer ignore, whether it’s a sudden crisis or a wound that has been festering for years.

It’s unfortunately common for parents to put their relationship on the backburner and settle for their relationship as-is for now. They tell themselves that they’ll deal with the issues later, when the kids are toilet-trained, when they’re in primary school, or whichever milestone comes next.

In this way, issues become the new normal — and grow more challenging to change.

Rather than wait until issues become unbearable, I teach my clients how to be proactive in maintaining their relationship health. 

Putting in small amounts of time and effort along the way can help you avoid winding up in the breakdown lane.

After all, many of us are proactive in other areas of our health. We try to eat healthy, we try to exercise, we try to get enough sleep. Why not take that same approach to your relationship health?

If you work out regularly, you notice your body getting stronger. This is the same thing — your relationship gets stronger when you work on it consistently.

You can get started right now!

In‌ ‌this‌ ‌episode of Couplehood,‌ ‌you’ll discover:‌ ‌

• Why so many couples put off dealing with their issues until they’re too big to ignore
• 4 ways to be proactive about relationship health as a couple
• How to create and maintain consistent, quality couple time

“The small things that you do now are going to have such a huge impact on how connected you are as a couple.”

—  Allison Villa

‌Highlights:‌

• 00:32  Getting out of the breakdown lane
• 01:52  Be proactive
• 02:37  Start with you
• 03:26  Ask for what you need
• 03:43  Stay curious
• 04:44  Quality time should be consistent
• 05:35  Scheduling examples
• 07:04  Work your relationship muscle

Work With Me:

https://www.allisonvilla.com 

Follow Me on Instagram:

https://instagram.com/allison__villa

Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!

As a relationship therapist, I cannot overemphasize the importance of self care.

There is this popular misconception that taking time for yourself is selfish — but this is completely false. Self care not only helps you restore yourself, but it replenishes your energy so that you can continue to give to those around you.

Including your partner.

When you feel restored and at peace, you’re able to bring the best of yourself to your relationship, and the same is true for your partner.

That’s why it is so important to not only make time for self care, but also facilitate the same for your partner. When you’re both feeling replenished and filled up, your relationship will only benefit!

But how can you fit it into your schedule?

Before becoming a parent, self care was likely woven into your life in many small ways — as life gets more complicated, we need to be more purposeful in planning and engaging in it.

But with so many things already in your calendar, how can you possibly fit more? 

It can be tempting to give up before you begin, if you consider self care to be made up of things like a spa day or a drive to the country — things that would be hard to fit into most people’s schedules. 

But you can engage in self care in under 10 minutes.

The two main things to keep in mind: ‘easy’ and ‘possible’.

I’d love to help you get started!

In‌ ‌this‌ ‌episode of Couplehood,‌ ‌you’ll discover:‌ ‌

• How to fit self care into even the busiest of schedules in just five minutes at a time
• A quiz to find out what effective self care might look like for you
• How to work with your partner to ensure that you’re both happy and replenished

“Self care is a practice.. you’re creating new synapses in your brain. You’re creating new neural pathways to say ‘Yeah, there are many things to do and it is important for me to intentionally restore first.’”

—  Allison Villa

Highlights:‌

• 00:55  What does self care actually mean?
• 02:18  Scheduling self care
• 04:06  Self care v. selfishness
• 05:01  Self care as the foundation of your relationship
• 07:56  Avoiding resentment
• 11:24  Speak up about what you need
• 12:41  3 self care questions  

Links:‌ ‌

Free self care toolkit: 

https://houseandhook.ck.page/ 

Work With Me:

https://www.allisonvilla.com 

Follow Me on Instagram:

https://instagram.com/allison__villa

Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!

In the first episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover how relationship challenges can be a beautiful opportunity to deepen and strengthen your connection with your partner. ‌

Years ago, I was a new mother, wife, and homeowner, working toward my designation as a psychotherapist. You could say I had it all.

But I wasn’t happy.

Becoming a mother made me feel disconnected from the person I used to be. I struggled to define my sense of self as a mother and a therapist — and what that meant for my relationship.

I counted on my professional achievement to make me feel fulfilled. I thought it would be the key to ultimate happiness — to really having it all. But after receiving the designation, I felt exactly the same.

I asked my partner if he was happy with the life that we’d built. He said yes.

This mismatch between expectation and reality can be a big challenge, especially if your partner doesn’t share your feelings about whether things are working.

I thought to myself, “If you are happy with this life, and this life has left me feeling like a shell of myself, then what does that mean about us?” It brought up big emotions and questions, and was the beginning of a huge conversation.

The scariest thing about speaking your truth is that it can lead to things being fixed… or falling apart.

But having these conversations is the only way to bring your experiences closer together, and these shared realizations can lead to an incredible journey!

I want to help you get started!

In‌ ‌this‌ ‌episode of Couplehood,‌ ‌you’ll discover:‌ ‌

• Why it’s okay for two people to come to realizations over two different timelines
• Why being aligned as a couple is so important
• 3 action items to take when identifying your path to happiness 

“If you are experiencing challenges in your own life, allow those to empower you and let them be fuel to help you grow — as an individual and as a couple.”

—  Allison Villa

Highlights:‌ 

• 01:24  “How This Mother’s Breakdown Led to a Breakthrough”
• 03:39  The ultimate happiness myth
• 07:05  Timelines for realizations
• 09:34  Being aligned as a couple
• 13:05  Pushing through to happiness
• 14:07  Your 3 action items

Links:

Blog: How This Mother's Breakdown Led To A Breakthrough (and a family adventure to Mexico!) https://www.houseandhook.com/blog-posts/2017/11/18/how-this-mothers-breakdown-led-to-a-breakthrough-and-a-family-adventure-to-mexico 

Work With Me:

https://www.allisonvilla.com 

Follow Me on Instagram:

https://instagram.com/allison__villa 

Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!

Get ready to experience true Couplehood! ‌

I’m so happy to announce the launch of the Couplehood podcast, a new series that tackles the complexities, joys, and challenges of maintaining a happy, healthy, and satisfying relationship while living a life full of big changes!

I’m Allison Villa, a registered psychotherapist and relationship expert with a mission to empower parents to make their relationship a priority. I’m also a mother of two and am very much on this Couplehood journey along with you!

In the Couplehood podcast, you’ll learn key communication strategies that will help you speak your truth and share your issues with your partner in a loving and constructive way.

We’ll dive deep into the reasons why so many couples let problems brew in their relationships — and how you can face these issues proactively.

You’ll discover why self care can actually be the key to having a harmonious relationship and how easy it can be to schedule it into your day — even as a busy parent!

And that’s just in the first three episodes!

Subscribe now so that you’ll never miss a valuable tip. And if you love the podcast, please rate and review it. I’d love to help a wider audience of parents learn how to more deeply connect with their partners and experience the joy of creating a healthy and nurturing bond!

“This show is designed for parents who want to keep their romantic relationship thriving.”

—  Allison Villa ‌

Highlights:‌ ‌

• 00:27  Welcome to Couplehood!
• 01:21  What to expect
• 02:07  Episode 1 preview
• 04:42  Episode 2 preview
• 07:14  Episode 3 preview
• 09:27  Share the podcast!

Work With Me:

https://www.allisonvilla.com 

Follow Me on Instagram:

https://instagram.com/allison__villa 

Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!