Some of us believe strength means acting stoically; not showing our cards and holding our emotions tight to our chest. That’s actually not a sign of strength. It’s a sign of pain. Hiding your feelings and not speaking your truth is not authentic living. Maybe you feel like people will respect you more for being controlled and unemotional, but how does it feel inside? Are you emotionally free and happy? My guess is no.

If you think living as if you don’t care and that nothing bothers you is the path to a life well lived, you’re wrong. Acting tough and saying, “Try me!” or “Don’t think you can get away with that!” will not bring someone closer to you. You may instill fear in others, but definitely not love, empathy or compassion. This closed-off behavior is an act of cowardice. It’s a cry for validation, usually resulting in emptiness and a constant state of fear.

I look at those who wear vulnerability like a fashionable accessory. They exude confidence and don’t feel the need to hide behind a tough exterior. They speak their emotional truth from a place of empowerment, not force. When people put on a false exterior, it tells me we are not on the same page and a deeper connection isn’t possible. There’s too much armor. Being real and being you ALWAYS feels better, and when you connect with someone who’s in the same place, it can feel like home. It’s a quiet, comforting kind of peace.