Over 1000 Florida spring break COVID spreaders got arrested while drooling their air-bubbles all about the Miami Beach nightclub scene. Also in Miami, a nine-year-old was attacked by a shark and barely survived. A creepy predator, AKA a Republican Tom Reed, said he wouldn't seek office in 2022 due to sexual misconduct allegations which include opening a colleague's bra without consent. Man-baby Trump launched a salvo at Georgia Secretary of State by endorsing a primary challenger. Joltin' Joe said he was determined to tax the wealthy fairly and much more bigly. Former crappy Shitler attorney Sydney Powell told a judge no sane person would believe the case she presented against Dominion. The Crabs discussed the violent role evangelicalism possibly played in the mass shooting at the Atlanta spa. A loony lawyer who aided the orange rapist in his attempt to overturn the election of President Biden continued to embrace crazy by doubling down on stop-the-steal conspiracy theories. MAGAT-caster and premier simpleton Deanna Lorraine complained the current season of The Bachelor embraces Black Lives Matter but humiliates white people. Conserv-a-troll Sheila Zilinsky warned the Kardashians are indeed clone-like witch-zombies. Fascist Donald announced the launch of a Trump-branded social media platform.