Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't

Rants about overpriced museums, crook county, kill your lawn release, Missouri Botanical Garden Aroid Dungeon, getting banned from places of prestige, sweat ceremony, sand endemics of Florida, pissing off prestigious turds in academia, etc.

Lillium Byrd is a Botanist with the Florida Native Plant Society. This conversation took place in a Longleaf Pine Forest while watching fireflies light up the canopy of the trees.

Margaret Behan is an Arapahoe/Cheyenne member of the Native American Church, as well as one of the "13 Indigenous Grandmothers". In this episode we talk about Peyote Religion, people wanting a connection to plants and to the land they live on, hope for the young generations & the future of Lophophora williamsii and its connection to the Native people of North America.

Intro rant is about 25 minutes long.

"Paintbrushes", aka the genus Castilleja, are seemingly everywhere in the Americas, especially in the more arid and montane parts of these continents. Containing 200 species, the genus is highly diverse and broadly distributed, working on the them of being a partial parasites of other plants and producing wildly flamboyant and colorful inflorescences, due in large part to showy bracts that subtend each individual flower.

Mark Egger is a specialist in this genus, and today we talk paintbrushes with him for over an hour - their often confusing flower morphology, their ecology, their diversity, and their pollinators. What are some of the rarest species? What are some of the weirdest? We answer a bunch more questions in this 80 minute long conversation about one of the coolest and most ubiquitous plant genera in North (and South!) America.

Intro is 11:00

Anybody who's spent any time studying or even observing plants in desert or seasonally arid environments is familiar with soil crusts and how bizarre and unique they can be, as well as the role they must be playing in the ecosystem - from providing a nurse substrate for a variety of cactus seedlings to germinate in to stabilizing the soil to adding organic material to what is otherwise rocky terrain to nitrogen fixation. It's an exceptional thing to suddenly realize that the entire ground beneath your feet is actually ALIVE.

In this episode we talk with microbiologist Dr. Corey Nelson about the living soil crusts in arid environments and what the hell is going on with the multiple species of bacteria, fungi, archae and protists involved in this complex community of organisms that thrives where few other things can.

In this episode we rant about pleistocene relict oaks growing on desert sky islands, paintbrush species in the desert, plant communities of the hill country West of Austin, how it's actually not that hard to grow 'Texas" Madrones, how silty sandy loams work great for cactus seedlings, doing CRIME PAYS plant ID classes on Patreon & much more.

Intro is 15:00 long.

Jay LeSoleil is an activist, advocate and one of the two voices behind the F*CKING CANCELLED PODCAST. In this episode of Crime Pays we talk about "cancel culture", the bizarre and deranged ideological path that some elements of modern leftism have taken, 12-step programs, sobriety, identitarianism, how to actually create change, and the effect that social media has had on both left and right wing political movements.

Podcast starts after a 40 minute intro...

Dr. John Clark studies the plant family Gesneriaceae (In the same Order as Salvias, Mints, and Penstemons... Lamiales).

In this podcast we talk about this brilliantly colored often epiphytic tropical plant family and some of the wild sh*t that occurs in it (like poricidal anthers, you say?)...

In this episode we talk with my friend Ron Kaminkow, founding member of Railroad Workers United (www.railroadworkersunited.org) about just what the he11 has happened with North American Railroad Companies in the past five years and what effect it has had on railroad workers, shippers, and more importantly, the general public. We also discuss how the business policy known as "precision scheduled railroading" has given us a glimpse of a very deranged philosophy regarding American business practices and what this could possibly mean for other areas of the American economy.

Check out www.railroadworkersunited.org for updates and more information.

Ricardo Ramirez aka Lizardskinn is a naturalist and photographer who has explored many of the remote areas of Northern Mexico, documenting cactus and reptile diversity with an emphasis on habitat. He has seen and documented many incredibly rare species of plants that most people will never get a chance to see in habitat. He can be found on IG at @lizardskinn

Thumbnail photo by Ricardo Ramirez

*note : when referring to which Sierra Madre is primarily composed of limestone, I stated Sierra Madre occidental (West) when I meant to say Oriental (East). Important to not f*CK this up! Much more volcanic geology than limestone in the West than the East! Sorry for the confusion!