In this episode of Cross Lab, hosts Steve Hohman and Olivia Espinosa are joined by barrister and advocacy coach Bibi Badejo.
Watch Bibi cross-examine both Steve and Olivia, who portray a divorced couple where neither party has clean hands. Bibi skillfully challenges each of their stories and their roles in a complex, multi-suit case involving large sums of money, kids and old wounds.
What’s covered in this episode:
- The foundation you can lay that boxes any witness in—and pays off big time
- A go-to framework for defending your client (even when their actions make zero sense)
- What your listener is really thinking when you’re sticking a witness to the question
- The sneaky way to trap a witness in their own admissions
- How to slice away a witness's opinion from the real evidence
Time Stamps
00:00 What’s Cross Lab?
2:20 The question to ask yourself that steers the judge and jury where you want them
3:14 How to adjust your language for judges and juries—and what juries don't want from you
6:18 A genius ‘common sense’ strategy to defend your client’s actions (even when they don’t make sense)
17:00 Mock Case Overview: Butler vs. Butler
19:38 Bibi’s Cross on Dane Butler: One fact questions that lay the foundation for a big payoff!
38:18 Painting a picture with facts that corner the witness and let their discomfort tell your story.
43:01 How starting with general questions can trap a witness with their own admissions
48:28 What your listener is thinking when you hold a witness to the question
55:26 Cross of Lily: Expertly separating a witness's opinion from the real evidence
1:20:02 Repetition that works for you—no matter what the witness says
Bibi’s website: https://www.theadvocacycoach.com/
The Advocacy Podcast https://www.theadvocacypodcast.com/
To get free resources for your next trial go to TrialHaus.com
Key Insights from This Episode
How to Cross-Examine an Emotionally Charged Witness Without Losing Control of the Examination
Bibi Badejo demonstrated throughout both cross-examinations in this episode that controlling an emotional witness isn't about matching their energy — it's about staying steady while they escalate. She described her approach as being like a steamroller: constant, even pressure that never lets up and never gets flustered by unexpected answers. When Steve, playing Dane Butler, started giving long explanations and deflecting, Bibi kept her questions short, repeated them when they weren't answered, and simply moved forward when she had what she needed. The technique worked because every time the witness rambled and she calmly re-asked the same question, the listener's takeaway wasn't about what the witness said — it was that the witness was avoiding the answer.
Steve confirmed from the witness chair that this was deeply uncomfortable. He knew he owed a yes or no, and every time Bibi pressed for one, she gained more control. The key insight for attorneys is that short questions do double work against emotional witnesses: they're easier for the attorney to remember and repeat, and they make any long-winded answer from the witness look evasive by contrast. As Olivia noted, when a jury or judge hears a three-word question followed by a two-minute non-answer, they stop listening to the witness and start trusting the attorney.
How to Set Up Win-Win Questions Where Every Answer Helps Your Case
One of Bibi Badejo's most effective patterns in this episode was crafting questions where she won regardless of the answer. The clearest example came at the end of her cross of Dane Butler, when she asked whether he thought it was fair that despite Lily having the children over 70% of the time, she should only receive half the marital assets. If he said no, that was an admission she could use directly. If he said yes — which he did — she had a sound bite for closing that made him look unreasonable. Either answer served her narrative. She stopped right there, telling Steve and Olivia afterward: "I would end it there because I'm going to use that in my submissions."
The same pattern appeared earlier when she pressed Dane on whether $20,000 was a lot of money. His answer — that it wasn't, given his line of work — made him seem out of touch to anyone listening. Bibi didn't need him to agree it was a lot. His dismissal was more useful than his agreement would have been. The lesson for attorneys is to stop designing questions around getting a specific answer and instead design them so that every possible response advances your narrative. As Steve put it during the debrief: "You put him in a box that no matter which way he went, he loses."
How to Use Proportionality and Math to Undermine a Witness's Justification
When Bibi crossed Olivia as Lily Butler, she faced a sympathetic witness with a compelling emotional defense: she moved the money to protect her children from a gambling addict. Rather than attacking that emotional logic head-on, Bibi dismantled it with math. She established that the largest single gambling loss Dane had ever incurred was $20,000. She then showed that $20,000 represented only 9% of the joint checking account — and only 0.45% of the total liquid wealth of $4.42 million. To protect against a potential loss of less than half a percent, Lily had moved every dollar the family had.
The proportionality argument doesn't require the attorney to call the witness unreasonable. The numbers do that work on their own. Lily kept repeating that $20,000 was a lot to her family, which only reinforced Bibi's point: if $20,000 is a lot, then what is $4.2 million? The technique works in any case where a party's response was disproportionate to the triggering event — personal injury, contract disputes, family law. Let the witness cling to their justification while the math tells the real story.
How to Expose That a Witness Acted Impulsively by Walking Through Every Step They Took
One of Bibi's most effective chapters in her cross of Lily was reconstructing the timeline of her financial moves step by step. She found out about Vegas at 9 AM. She was at the bank when it opened at 10 AM. Within that single hour, she closed two checking accounts, emptied a savings account, liquidated a $4.2 million investment portfolio, opened new accounts at a different bank — bringing her identity documents — and transferred everything into accounts only she could access. Bibi then layered on what Lily didn't do: she didn't consult a tax advisor, didn't get advice on early withdrawal penalties, didn't consider the loss of investment position, and didn't seek any legal counsel despite having lawyers involved in the divorce agreement.
Steve noted afterward that this breakdown was devastating precisely because it walked the listener through each individual action. When a witness says "I did what I had to do to protect my family," it sounds reasonable in the abstract. But when an attorney breaks that claim into its component steps — each one deliberate, each one requiring a signature or a decision — the picture shifts from protective instinct to calculated execution. The listener can see the contradiction: you claim this was an impulsive reaction to a manic episode, but you had your documents ready and hit three institutions before lunch.
How to Build a Case Narrative for a Bench Trial Where Judges Don't Want Emotional Arguments
Bibi Badejo brought a perspective rarely heard on American legal podcasts — she tries cases exclusively in front of judges in the UK family law system, with no juries at all. Her approach to persuasion in that environment is fundamentally different from what many American trial attorneys practice: less emotion, more evidence, and trusting the judge to reach the conclusion without being told what to feel. As Bibi explained, if she wants the judge to think someone is a scoundrel, she doesn't use the word. She builds the factual building blocks that lead the judge to think it — or something worse — on their own.
What's striking is how directly this translates to the constructive cross approach. Steve pointed out that even in jury trials, the same principle applies: a jury will own a conclusion they reach themselves far more than one an attorney pushes on them. Bibi's technique of tying every claim back to concrete evidence, using logic and common sense rather than emotional language, and letting the facts create the feeling is exactly the discipline that makes cross-examination persuasive in any setting. The judge doesn't want to hear that your opponent is unreasonable. The judge wants to see the math that proves it — and then reach "unreasonable" without being told.
Why Profiling Your Witness Before Cross-Examination Changes How You Ask Every Question
Before any cross begins, Bibi Badejo builds a profile of the witness that goes far beyond their testimony. She thinks about who they are as a person, how they're likely to respond under pressure, how she wants them to feel during questioning, how she wants them to feel afterward, and — critically — how she wants the judge to perceive them by the time she's done. This profiling drove her to approach Dane and Lily completely differently in the same episode, even though they were opposing parties in the same case.
With Dane, she applied steady pressure knowing he'd get defensive and start volunteering excuses — each one giving her more material. With Lily, she anticipated a sympathetic, likeable witness and chose proportionality and math over emotional confrontation, knowing that attacking a mother protecting her children would backfire. The profiling also informed her tone: she described setting an "intention" for herself before each cross that governed her pacing, her firmness, and when to push versus when to simply collect the admission and move on. For attorneys who tend to use the same approach for every witness, this episode is a masterclass in how preparation at the character level — not just the fact level — transforms the effectiveness of a cross.