Welcome to Ep. 6 of the Curiously You Podcast!

Today’s episode is all about PLAY! It’s amazing how fun, light and silly I feel even just writing that word! Our guest is a play & creative arts therapist Rachel Winston, and today we dive into the reasons why we have lost our natural inclination to play, and what to do about it.

There is a body of evidence that suggests we actually learn better when we play, and blow apart that idea we have of “work hard, play hard”, how actually working and play are not separate the way we think they are, and actually we are missing out on a whole host of benefits but NOT incorporating play into our every day, and why we needed be afraid to play!

Rachel then runs us through an exercise that helps us tap into our inner child, and bring them out to play. This exercise gives us great insight into finding meaning in our memory and making sense of the things we truly value, and generally just getting curious about that little being inside of us!

For those listeners who are parents, we explore how children can be our greatest teachers if we allow them, and they give us great insight into the things within ourselves that need healing. For those listeners who don’t have children, Rachel shares loads of tips and tricks for integrating personalised play moments throughout the day, and how it can heal that side of us that feels the need to produce and achieve all the time.

You’ll love this episode if:

You only make time for fun and play when you feel like you’ve earned it, and tend to be quite serious and controlling about separating work and play.

Are curious about your inner child, and wonder how bring them out and being more playful may improve your life, and make you more self-aware.

Time Stamped Show Notes

03:47 Why we have lost touch with our natural inclination to play.

03:98 Why play will actually help you learn better and live better.

5:64 “Work hard, play hard!” - have you bought into this saying? I know I have! How we’ve accepted beliefs about play without questions, and why play is no the opposite of work (the way we think).

8:51 How to incorporate play into your every day, particularly when commuting or in work.

14:30 How play is now limited to just children, with examples of not only the benefits of adult play, but its necessity.

15:19 Why people are afraid of play.

17:45 As parents, how to use play to encourage the playful, curious and natural side of your child, and how to surrender and heal yourself in the process.

21:21 How children are a mirror reflection of what needs to be healed in ourselves and how to tap into this healing when your child triggers you.

27:46 Communication and healing through play with friends, partners and family.

30.22 How to diffuse arguments and disagreements with playfulness.

32:00 The influence of unresolved childhood experiences that are carried into adulthood, for example, anger and how women, particularly, find it hard to express it.

34:48 Rachel walks us through an exercise that you can try to make sense of your unconscious memories and experiences to create a more integrated you [unique value point].

44:19 Why YOU are the authority on YOU.

47:00 Why we are more sensitive to metaphor in our understanding & and how play taps into this.

49:00 Embracing the feminine energy of living, and receiving wisdom, rather than pushing for it.

50:40 Rachel’s various top tips for play and not feeling the need to produce all the time [unique value point].

Key Take Homes

Work and play do not need to be separate, in fact the more we can incorporate play into our every day, the better it is for our learning, health and well-being, and the development of our imagination!

We’ve unconsciously bought into societal beliefs about play, but it’s time we questioned them and tried a new way!

There’s not a huge shift you need to make in your every day to start being more playful, you can be playful in idle moments, on your commute, at work, or even set aside a few minutes a day for play.

Curious Question

What could you be doing at home, work, on the commute, waiting for the bus, or any other time throughout the day to incorporate play into your day, however small?

Resources

The Body Keeps Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma Bessel van der Kolk

Playing Big: A Practical Guide for Brilliant Women Like You, Tara Mohr

Divine Light Yoga

Rachel’s Website, Full Cup Play Therapy

Rachel’s Screen Saver

Thanks so much for listening, and until the next episode, take care of yourself.

Much love,

Jen xx

Welcome to Episode 5 of the Curiously You Podcast!

In this episode I am speaking with hypnotherapist, counsellor, and transformation coach Mary Paleologos.

We explore the concept of self-image in the context of Mary’s life, as she spent many years battling an eating disorder, and suddenly being heavy hit twice by a brain hemorrhage. How have these two issues helped her create a positive self-image, and what can we learn from her experiences?

We look into Mary’s concept of the ego, the reasons why we silence our inner knowing voice and what to do about it, and dive into our unique individuality and gifts that are calling to be shared with the world.

Mary gives us hypnotherapy techniques that we can use on ourselves to move to a place of peace, and start to live in line with our intentions.

This episode is perfect for you if:

• You struggle to create a positive self-image for yourself.
• You are unsure which is your own true voice of the many inner voices you hear.

Time stamped Show Notes

02:52 Battling an eating disorder and serious health issues made Mary reassess her outlook and need for valuation, and made her focus on healing herself

08:39 Mary’s perspective on the Ego

12:02 Why we don’t trust our inner voice, and why we silence it

13:26 Love vs Fear - the question Mary asks herself to know where her actions and desires come from.

16:52 Why Mary believes it is of the utmost importance to share YOUR specific message with the world, even if you feel it’s “nothing new”

18:21 Mary’s key take home from her counselling clients - what she always tells them [unique curious point]

19:34 Hypnosis - how to self hypnotise to reach your intentions

21:56 How hypnotherapy is a lot like manifestation

23:45 How to know what your beliefs are, and to figure out if they are in line with your intentions. If not, what to do about it.

25:48 The world is your mirror.

29:51 The importance of not allowing your past to dictate who you are, and the importance of forgiveness (and how to do it).

Hello Curious Friends! Welcome to Episode 4 of the Curiously You Podcast.

In today’s episode I am joined by Amy Crumpton of Purpose Dweller, and we will be discussing how to find and stay committed to your purpose, during times of struggle and in the face of expectations.

We use Amy’s story of working in the high pressure, high stakes world of Wal-Mart and climbing the corporate ladder and growing her career, but still feeling empty and unfulfilled.

How did Amy deal with the expectations both her managers put on her, and those she put on herself?

How did she deal with the fast-pace patriarchal environment?

What was her pivot point into finding her true purpose?

We answer these and many more questions in the struggle to find meaning throughout a difficult divorce. We also consider how we can start a dialogue within ourselves to answer our most difficult questions, and what it really feels like when we connect with a higher purpose.

Amy has been there and done that and has some amazing advice to share. If you are going through similar times right now, will help you feel less alone at this time.

This episode is perfect for you if:

You are in a high-flying job surrounded by masculine energy and are either questioning if you want to continue this route.

You want to add more softness and direction toward a higher purpose, but don’t know where to start, or what it looks like.

Time stamped show notes

04:35 High-pressure, high-expectations, and constant working to keep up. How this mentality pushed Amy into her corporate career.

07:23 How Amy takes ownership of expectations, and explains the importance of realising there is choice in all we do.

09:17 Taking on endless responsibility in a fast-paced life until we start to question ourselves.

11:56 The on-the-side work Amy started that was her first pivot point into her purpose

13:09 How Amy is a “purpose junkie” and she had the fear that she was going to miss it, and she felt like it was time to leave her job… but it’s not so straightforward.

17:38 On the brink of divorce, much turmoil, and the second main pivot point - a white hot, shocking truth from her counsellor!

25:27 How Purpose Dweller came about, and what working with teenage girls taught Amy about herself.

29:10 Amy following her authentic heart - what does that mean, and how does it look? How life is a series of experiments [unique value point]

37:14 How to start a conversation that will help you connect you with your inner purpose.

40:33 The feeling Amy has when knows she is connecting to her higher purpose, rather than spinning in what she “should” be doing.

44:30 How Amy taps into her feminine energy when it’s all too easy to live in the masculine energy all the time.

46.14 Amy’s special girl for Curiously You listeners! Listen to the SOAK method, and download in the resources section.

Key Take Homes

1. That our purpose does not magically appear. It is unlikely that we will flick a switch one day and suddenly everything is perfect and we love what we do.
2. When we see finding our purpose as a “series of experiments”, we inhabit our curious nature and embrace experiences as they come.
3. That we are not looking to fully embody feminine energy, but step more into it, and find a balance between our masculine and feminine energy.

Curious Question?

Once you have downloaded Amy’s special gift, let us know in the comments section when and where you used the SOAK method, and how it helped?

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We are joined today by Carolyn Rubenstein, author and doctorate student (soon to qualify) of Psychology.

In today’s episode we are discussing the importance of drawing upon different areas of well-being in order to flourish, and how it is all too easy to hyper focus and funnel our entire identity into one area of our life, and when things don’t go to plan the sense of loss and confusion that ensues, and how to move past it.

Using Carolyn's experience working with children who have fought through cancer, we set a backdrop to what it means to take care of ourselves, what motivates us to change and how we can imitate that same mindset of perseverance, resourcefulness and perspective that these children cultivated in themselves in overcoming their illness and thriving.

We dig into the ways that we distract ourselves with to-do lists to hide from the thing that is most calling to us, and how we can create personalised tools for listening to our heart, our values and living in line with our authentic motivations.

This episode is perfect for you if:

• You feeling broken because a thing you put your heart into didn’t turn out as expected,
• You feel overwhelmed by your many struggles and you don’t know the first step to take to get yourself back in alignment, or
• You don’t really know how it really looks to be in alignment: what are the signs to observe within (and without) that are guiding you the right way?

Time-stamped Show Notes

04:07 How Carolyn pulls from different well-being domains and how it helps us flourish.

05:48 Putting “all our eggs in one basket”: how having just a few focuses in like has a detrimental effect on us, and how to move past it.

09:45 Retrain our brain to not invest our identity so heavily into our achievements, and scheduling time for self-care.

12:08 How we don’t see the process and work that goes into achieving goals, so we have a skewed perspective.

13:01 Why we need motivation for change as the process takes a lot of momentum.

13:37 Starting small in our self-care makes it impossible to fail.

14:53 Carolyn’s book about lessons learned from child cancer-survivors. The important lessons that we can apply in our own lives to flourish [unique value point]

20:17 The importance of perspective shift. Awareness of authentic motivation as we take action in both our both short-term, and long-term, goals.

22:40 What is the big thing that you are scared to look at, the thing you avoid by adding more and more to your to-do list?

24:00 How can we be clear on what we *truly* value vs what we *think* we value. The danger of intellectualising our values.

26:00 How to know when you are on precisely the thing that you value, or true authentic motivation.

26:56 Why we shouldn’t be asking ourselves “I don’t know what I’m doing with my life!”: a better, more easeful way.

29:08 How to handle stress in your own personalised way.

Key Take Homes

• When starting to shift your perspective about self-care, you should start as small as humanly possible so you are setting yourself up not to fail, that could mean simple reframing something that you currently already do.
• Three key words, resilience, perseverance, and resourcefulness. If we can perspective shift the meaning of these words into our mind, then we will flourish in the face of adversity
• Building complete clarity around our “why” will make the “what” and the “how” so much easier.

Curious Question

Every morning for the first 20 minutes of the day I do not look at anything work related, or social media - I take that as me time, thinking, making breakfast, meditating. I do this already, but I’m shifting my perspective about it from “just something I do” to “self-care”.

What small self-care shift will you make in your every day? Start small, what is one thing that you already do that could be reframed as self-care? Let us know in the comments or shoot me an email directly jen@curiouslyyou.com!

Thank you so much for listening, and until the next episode, take care of yourself.

Jen xx

Welcome to Episode 2 of the Curiously You Podcast!

In this Episode of the Curiously You podcast we are speaking with soul empowerment coach Abi Fox.

Abi is a self-confessed lover of speaking about authenticity in relationships, and in this episode we dive deep into her story, and how not all that long ago she was in a place of feeling like she had no love for herself: and that all her outward romantic relationships reflected that.

We speak about her past and the lessons she learned in order to open up and deeply connect with her soulmate Mogli whom, when she first met him, they did not even realise they were destined to be together. So how do we even reach this point in the first place? We speak about reaching a crisis point, and acting from a place of desperation or inspiration, how we need to focus on ourselves first and heal our relationship with our parents and ourselves before we can be ready for a romantic partner.

Then there’s the big killer of happiness in relationships: resentment, and what we can do to cut it off while it brews as frustration. This leads into the importance of awareness of ourselves and how we like to connect in relationships so we can build the best communication language with our partner.

We discuss the purpose of relationships and the importance of being open-hearted and vulnerable - sharing our feelings and fears in our heart as true to ourselves.

Time Stamped Show Notes

3:55 Abi’s story, how she had it all on paper but inside felt like a very lost and lonely girl, lacking self-confidence and self-worth

5:41 Crisis hit and believed she would be taken care of by her dad and hitting rock bottom.

8:11 Abi may have met her soul mate, but it would be 18 months of self-development work before she was ready to be with him romantically.

9:45 Reaching rock bottom, the turnaround.

10:23 Abi’s first few step major steps in making a change so you are ready for your soul mate

12:33 Why Abi reached rock bottom in order to make the change, but is doesn’t have to be that way every time.

14:04 Abi’s the next step to making changes

16:05 The ways we find to protect ourselves from being hurt in relationships and how Abi accesses these parts of herself for a positive ripple effect in her outside world

18:57 How we cannot have a healthy relationship with our SO until we heal the relationship with our parents, and how to do this

22:38 How to forgive ourselves, and by extension others and the benefits this brings to our lives

26:38 What is resentment, and how can we avoid reaching this point.

32:34 Abi’s story of building self-awareness into her relationship and how you can do the same to heal past hurts and create a more authentic connection

38:08 How Abi feels ‘next level happy’ in her relationship

42:39 How seeing that every relationship has a purpose will enable you to let go of control, be authentic and grow as a person, and as a couple

45:18 The questions you need to ask yourself when you struggle to communicate with your partner, and the differences in how men and women communicate

Key Take Homes

1. We must find a way to heal our old wounds and work on our self-worth before we can be ready to attract our soul-mate into our life.
2. When we build self-awareness, we start to know what stories and scripts we are bringing into our relationship. This helps us move past hurt, angry and resentment faster and to a place of acceptance, forgiveness, and love.
3. Men and women have different ways of communicating and sharing their loving feelings, understanding your partner’s way of communicating will bring you closer together.

Curious Question

Are you acting from a place of inspiration of desperation in your romantic life? If desperation, how can you use the tools Abi suggests in order to transition to taking inspired action?

Resources

Abi's website: www.abifox.com

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships: How to Get What You Want in Your Relationships by John Gray

Welcome to Episode 1 Curious Friends!

This episode is for those of us out there who find we spend our lives in seeking and escaping mode, believing that the grass is always greener.

Using Laura’s story of the ever-seeking endless traveller we uncover how she clarified her purpose through following the small signs that popped up through her journey, and also doing more of what she loved and made her feel calm and centred: yoga. It wasn’t all that clear cut to begin with, there were many false starts, and lost moments where she didn’t know what she was doing, all the while slowly running out of money.

In this episode we dig into the way that Laura transitioned into her new identity and career, and how she managed to strike the perfect balance of all the things that light her up: travel, yoga and teaching in the face of her fears. We discuss why it is great to spend time on the activity that makes you feel focused, safe and stress-free, because when we connect with our deep inner needs in this way - and what feels "right" - we are finding the clues to our purpose, even though when looked at separately none of the pieces of the puzzle made a lot of sense.

We cover Forgiveness, of both loved ones and those we resent. The energetic body and how we can cut ourselves off energetically from those who deplete us. We speak and give examples of affirmations and mantras, how we can gain energy from our work, and how having appropriate focus and faith that the universe is conspiring to help us brings about positive occurrences in our lives.

If you are thinking about solo travel, feeling uncomfortable in your career but not sure how to make a change (or the thought scares you), and if you find it hard to escape negative self-talk then you’ll definitely want to listen to this episode.

Time Stamped Show Notes

5:16 How Laura’s mindset of seeking and escaping has changed from 5 years ago when I first met her

6:24 Laura’s teaching then travelling on repeat, being on the escape from life and the moment she realised her lifestyle was not working anymore: “The Grass is Always Greener” syndrome

8:12 How Laura uses travel to build personal power and freedom

9:26 How Laura recommends you finds confidence to overcome the fear and go out and do the thing you’ve always wanted to do.

12:00 Laura’s transition from teaching school children to becoming a Yoga teacher, and how the path was not so clear or obvious.

15:00 How Laura’s followed little signs to transition into her new identity and career, even while she felt very out of balance and didn’t realise it at the time.

18.39 What is was about her transition into yoga that brought about a radical change in Laura’s outlook and self-image, and techniques you can use to do the same

22:22 A new way to think about the source-energy meditation if you feel uncomfortable about giving your negative energy back into the world

25:00 How Yoga became a way of life rather than just something to do to get more fit, and  managing getting through the “inbetween” stage of knowing you can’t do what you were doing before, but not knowing how to be the next person either.

28:00 How Laura turned her passion for Yoga, and combined her past experiences and the lifestyle she loves into a business.

29:45 Hitting the sweet spot of interests, past experiences/education, and desired lifestyle when you’re not sure how, and nothing makes much sense as you look at the overall picture of your life.

35:30 Laura’s business in Children’s Yoga Teacher Training, and how being in that mindset enables her to connect to her inner child, play and overcome her fears.

Three Key Take Homes

1. You can debate all the live long day about the things you want to do in life, but at the end of the day you have to just sit in your fears, do it, and think to yourself “what’s the worst that could happen?”
2. Everything in the universe is conspiring to help you, if you believe that then you will succeed.
3. When seen separately all the different parts of you life may not make much sense in terms of the next step you need to take, but have faith they will find the best way to hand together, and be aware and grasp opportunities as they come your way.

Curious Question

When you think about all the small things in your life that when seen separately do not make much sense, how can you find a common thread throughout them that might hint toward your purpose?

Resources

Laura’s website: www.divine-light-yoga.com

Yoga Veda, one of Laura’s highly recommended Yoga training schools : http://www.yogavedainstitute.com/

Full Cup Play Therapy: http://www.fullcupplaytherapy.com/

Laura’s Favourite Books:

The Seat of the Soul, Gary Zuvak

Awakening Shakti, Sally Kempton

Fierce Medicine, Ana Forrest

The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

In this, the FIRST Curiously You Episode it’s me, your host Jen Holmes, talking about the mission of Curiously You: Why is it here, and how will it serve you?

Curiously You is an honest-to-goodness, supportive, community of individuals who are starting to lead from our intuition, step with courage into our true values, and create intentions that align with our purpose.

In today’s world it is possible to have it all in many ways, but with it comes an immense pressure to achieve, be someone to everyone, and we try “keep up with the Jones’”, often without realising.

We have become the grown up “good girls”: the people pleasers who try to live up to every ideal or expectation placed upon us. We’re on the treadmill running toward a perfect image of ourselves and we a) don’t question whether it is exactly what we want and b) never feel like it’s enough (or that we are enough).

Time out! You need a moment to step out of the endless spin, because you’re wearing yourself out and it can’t go on like this.

Perhaps you feel like you need to be “fixed” in some way, or to understand what is holding you back, only then life would feel great.

Perhaps you have been steaming ahead on a path in life so far and you’re starting to wonder “is this what I really want?”

Perhaps you are plagued by fears that you feel stop you for going after that thing you desire, but you just don’t know how to move past them.

There are lots of reasons why you may have landed on this page, but ultimately you are approaching the cross-road: how you’re doing things is no longer working for you...

But what comes next?

At Curiously You we are exploring what it means to be YOU.

Not the you that you think you should be, or the you that you’ve thought you were your whole life, or the you that anyone else in your life expects you to be.

YOU YOU.

...I know, right? Who is she, and what does she truly want?

[putLeadGenetrationBox]

Why Did I Create Curiously You?

I created Curiously You because I often found personal development blogs both intimidating and overwhelming.

Was I the only one who wasn’t striving for endlessly positivity, or pushing for constant happiness. Was I the only one who had little faith in the quick-fix, or believe I could do it?

At Curiously You, I have a long term commitment to your growth and creating a safe space to explore your inner world (that’s my purpose!).

I wanted to create a place where we could feel real, worthy, whole, and loved.

It’s a place that doesn’t simply seek “change” (I could change my clothes today then go right back wearing the same thing tomorrow), rather we encourage gradual and progressive “transformation”, a rebirth of the You there always was, and always will be, but who you’ve lost touch with somewhere along the way.

Here we are the inquisitive explorers on our own personal growth journey, and spend much of the time going inward for the answers, and being curious and non-judgemental about whatever we find there.

I am assuming that you already have everything you need right now to start feeling how you want to feel about life; it’s my job create the right combination of insight, inspiration, resonance and affect to help you access it.

What's in store at Curiously You?

I will dive into psychological, spiritual topics in as simple and accessible language as possible, using plenty of anecdotes, personal stories, examples, and exercises you can apply yourself in your daily life. Over time, you will be able to pick, choose, refine, and adapt your own personalised tools for the challenges you face each day in modern life.

The process is filled with self-compassion and gentleness on this journey as you may tentatively dip your toe into this new way of being in, and seeing, the world.

My hope is you see Curiously You like a conversation with your close friends on Sunday afternoon lunch, where you laugh, cry, learn a little, and leave feeling warm and fuzzy inside after leaving, and come right back again for more!

Much love and warm wishes,

Jen xx

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