Join the up coming DadAwesome ACCELERATOR Coaching Cohort: https://www.dadawesome.org/coaching

SUMMARY:

What happens when two dads strap GoPros to paddleboards and hit the lake at 5:45 in the morning? In this episode, Jeff sits down with longtime friend Tyler Van Eps for a raw, reflective conversation about intentional fatherhood, family rhythms, and what it looks like to lead your kids with purpose. From milestone trips to weekly family huddles to quarterly prayer rhythms, Tyler shares the experiments his family has been running...

FIVE KEY TAKEAWAYS

1. Fatherhood moves through three distinct seasons of investment: physical, time, and emotional, and knowing which season you're in changes how you show up.
2. A weekly family huddle built around purpose, vision, and values gives your kids a compass they will eventually use to call out greatness in each other.
3. Milestone trips don't have to be expensive or elaborate because what your kids remember most is being pulled out of the normal lineup and seen as an individual.
4. The goal is not to control your family's calendar but to steward it, which means learning when to add things and when to subtract them without shame.
5. Adopting a posture of exploration in your fatherhood is far more sustainable than building rigid rules, because it invites your family into the journey with you.

TOP QUOTES

1. "Instead of being an amazing leader and a decent dad, I want to be an amazing dad and a decent leader."
2. "Follow Jesus, live with enthusiasm, and fight for family. The fight for family came out of, hey guys, we gotta stop fighting with our family and we gotta figure out a way to fight for our family."
3. "There has to be a surrender that's kind of fundamental to the way that you approach fatherhood and family and faith."
4. "Soaking in the moments of peace and allowing them to be there with the assumption that disruptions are around the corner."
5. "If I'm not a steward of the time God's given me with my kids, there are these core memories that I could just be blazing by without even realizing it."

GUEST

Tyler Van Eps is a husband, father of four, and Senior Vice President at the National Christian Foundation Twin Cities, where he serves families and business owners around the stewardship of generational wealth and kingdom-minded generosity. A longtime friend of the Dad Awesome community, Tyler has joined the show multiple times including a campfire conversation and a tree fort recording. He is passionate about leading with purpose, living with enthusiasm, and building a family culture rooted in faith.

LINKS

Join Team Awesomeness (monthly support team) at any level from $7/month to $1000/month... We have 41 families committed to fueling the ministry DadAwesome as we head toward celebrating 9 years of AWESOMENESS this coming winter: https://www.dadawesome.org/give

• Join the DadAwesome Prayer Team: Text "pray" to (651) 370-8618

• Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome

• Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort

• Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618

• 7-Day Video Series: dadawesome.org/book

• DadAwesome Podcast: dadawesome.org/podcast

• Free Chapter + Intro Video Series: dadawesome.org/book

• Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text "Dad" to (651) 370-8618

• DADAWESOME book: dadawesome.org/book

Your emotional detachment might be quietly wounding the people you love most.

In PART 2 of our Father's Day LOOK-BACK, Jeff resurfaces five more conversations that hit different the second time around.

✅ Why your kids can feel when you've checked out emotionally

✅ How to stop pointing your kids to yourself as the source of life

✅ The dad who never raised his voice and what it did to his son

✅ What "unhurried presence" actually looks like in everyday moments

✅ The hard truth about emotional regulation every dad needs to hear

INVITATION

Join Team Awesomeness (monthly support team) at any level from $7/month to $1000/month... We have 41 families committed to fueling the ministry DadAwesome as we head toward celebrating 9 years of AWESOMENESS this coming winter: https://www.dadawesome.org/give

SUMMARY

In Part 2 of this Father's Day look-back series, Jeff Zaugg resurfaces five more powerful conversations from the past dad year, featuring Jeremy Pryor, Ted Cunningham, Pastor Tim Timberlake, Mac Lake, and Seth Dahl. The clips cover a dad's superpower of emotional detachment and how it can quietly wound the people he loves most, the faulty input-output theory of parenting and why God is the only true source of life, the transformative power of tone and speaking to the king in your child instead of the fool, the gift of unhurried presence and what it looks like to truly savor your kids, and the hard truth that a man who can't regulate his emotions forces his family to do it for him. This episode is a flyover packed with activation, challenge, and the kind of dad wisdom that sticks.

KEY QUOTES

• "My kids can actually feel that. Like, if something were to happen to me, I think dad would be the least affected." — Jeremy Pryor, Ep. 415
• "My source is Jesus, not you." — Ted Cunningham, Ep. 417
• "In us we have both a fool and a king. The one that you address is the one that will respond." — Pastor Tim Timberlake, Ep. 424
• "A posture of unhurried presence. So often we are present with our kids, but we're not present with our kids." — Mac Lake, Ep. 435
• "A man who can't regulate his emotions forces his wife and kids to do it for him." — Seth Dahl, Ep. 429

TAKEAWAYS

1. Your emotional detachment is a superpower that can become a weapon. Dads are wired to disconnect under pressure, and that's often a gift. But when that same skill gets used to keep your family at arm's length, your kids feel it. The question isn't how attached you feel. It's whether they feel attached to you.
2. You were never meant to be the source. Pouring into your kids so they pour back into you is a trap. Your job, according to Deuteronomy 6, is to point them every single day to the only true source of life. Fire yourself. Fire your kids. God in heaven is the source.
3. Tone is one of the greatest gifts a dad can give. Pastor Tim Timberlake's father never raised his voice, never disciplined from anger or frustration, and the love in his tone did the convicting. Your size, your volume, your first response, those things mark your kids. Speak to the king in them, not the fool.
4. Unhurried presence is a posture, not a schedule. Mac Lake leaves adult conversations to throw a football for 60 minutes if that's what his grandkids want. The shift is simple but hard: let your kids be the thing that matters most in the moment, not an interruption to what actually matters.
5. Emotional self-control is a fruit your family gets to eat. When you're getting triggered by your six-year-old, you're not parenting. You're asking them to regulate you. The Holy Spirit wants to grow self-control in you so your family is nourished by it. Your heart is upstream to everything in your home.

LINKS

• Join the DadAwesome Prayer Team: Text "pray" to (651) 370-8618

• Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome

• Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort

• Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618

• 7-Day Video Series: dadawesome.org/book

• DadAwesome Podcast: dadawesome.org/podcast

• Free Chapter + Intro Video Series: dadawesome.org/book

• Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text "Dad" to (651) 370-8618

• DADAWESOME book: dadawesome.org/book

• Jeremy Pryor — https://www.dadawesome.org/blog/415
• Ted Cunningham — https://www.dadawesome.org/blog/417
• Pastor Tim Timberlake — https://www.dadawesome.org/blog/424
• Seth Dahl — https://www.dadawesome.org/blog/429
• Mac Lake — https://www.dadawesome.org/blog/435

It's Father's Day week and we're doing something special.

In Part 1 of The Dad Year Lookback, Jeff Zaugg revisits five conversations that stirred something deeper this year, featuring Dave Brickey, Lance Welch, Dr. Jake Smith, Chris Cirullo, and Craig Allen Cooper.

✅ Why your weakness as a dad might be your greatest strength

✅ The difference between raising kids in the gap vs. the gain

✅ How to stop dismissing your own feelings before you dismiss your kids'

✅ God's call for dads to be bringers of order, not complainers of disorder

✅ The secret gift of a minivan that turned an atheist toward Jesus

You don't have to do the miracles. You just have to be tight with the man who did. 🙏

SUPPORTING DadAwesome

1. Write a REVIEW on Amazon for the book DADAWESOME
2. Join the 40 families who support DADAWESOME Monthly (from $7/month to $1000/month) - Learn More

SUMMARY

In this Father's Day special, Jeff Zaugg revisits five of the most impactful conversations from the past "dad year"... Featuring voices like Pastor Dave Brickey, Dr. Jake Smith, and Craig Allen Cooper. The clips explore the transformative power of fatherly weakness and repentance, the damage of performance-based parenting, the importance of emotional self-awareness, the biblical call to create order in family life, and the ripple effect of quiet, Jesus-fueled generosity. It's a looking-back episode that's really about looking up — because the best thing a dad can do for his kids is stay close to the One who can do what we can't.

TAKEAWAYS

1. Your weakness as a dad is not a liability — it's a bridge. When you humbly repent and admit you need Jesus, your kids see who their real Savior is.
2. Raising kids in "the gap" (measuring what they fell short of) creates a performance identity that damages their sense of worth. Celebrate the gain — the progress they've made.
3. Defensiveness and dismissiveness toward your kids often starts with dismissing your own feelings. Learning to name what's going on inside you is the first step to staying steady.
4. God designed dads to be bringers of order — not complainers of disorder. Reverse engineer a family vision, create systems, and name the chaos so your kids can learn to do the same.
5. You don't have to do the miracles. You just have to be tight with the man who did. Small, unseen acts of generosity done close to Jesus can change the trajectory of another family forever.

_*]:min-w-0 gap-3 standard-markdown">

QUOTES

1. "My strength points my kids to me as their savior, but my weakness points them to who my savior is." — Pastor Dave Brickey, Ep. 391
2. "You lead with your strengths, but you connect through your weaknesses." — Pastor Dave Brickey, Ep. 391
3. "My heavenly Father has set the scoreboard to infinity." — Jeff Zaugg, reflecting on Ep. 394 with Lance Welch
4. "I don't get to choose what feelings I have. I only choose what I do with them." — Dr. Jake Smith, Ep. 398
5. "He can't walk on water — but he just might be tight with the man that did." — Walker Hayes (via Craig Allen Cooper, Ep. 418)

LINKS

• Join the DadAwesome Prayer Team: Text "pray" to (651) 370-8618

• Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome

• Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort

• Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618

• 7-Day Video Series: dadawesome.org/book

• DadAwesome Podcast: dadawesome.org/podcast

• Free Chapter + Intro Video Series: dadawesome.org/book

• Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text "Dad" to (651) 370-8618

• DADAWESOME book: dadawesome.org/book

Dave Brickey — https://www.dadawesome.org/blog/391

Lance Welch — https://www.dadawesome.org/blog/394

Dr. Jake Smith — https://www.dadawesome.org/blog/398

Chris Cirullo — https://www.dadawesome.org/blog/410

Craig Allen Cooper — https://www.dadawesome.org/blog/418

Book - Get the recently released DADAWESOME book on Amazon.

Amazon Review - leave a short Amazon review to help more dads learn about the book.

----------

There's NO scoreboard for a healthy marriage—and no quarterly report on your kids' souls. 📊🚫

Gabe Biedenbaugh is back for Part 2, and this conversation goes deep on what really matters at home.

✅ Why chasing a "scoreboard" at home is a trap (and what to measure instead)

✅ Covering your daughters vs. sending out your sons—a powerful picture of spiritual authority

✅ The eulogy drill: a simple exercise that will change how you lead your family

True legacy isn't how you're remembered. It's what your family still does when you're gone. 🔥

SUMMARY

There's no quarterly report for your marriage and no scoreboard for your kids' souls—so why do so many dads keep looking for one? In part two of this conversation, Gabe Biedenbaugh exposes the scoreboard trap and shares the vision statements that guide his marriage and parenting. Plus, he unpacks a powerful perspective on covering your daughters versus sending out your sons, and why true legacy isn't how you're remembered—it's what your family still does when you're gone.

TAKEAWAYS

• It's a trap to look for a scoreboard at home. Winning at home is consistency, owning your mistakes, and asking for forgiveness quickly.
• The best gift you can give your children is a healthy marriage. Aim to be more in love when your kids leave than you are right now.
• Sons are sent out to start new families; daughters remain under their father's spiritual covering until that authority is transferred at the wedding.
• The foundation of your life matters far more than the facade. A bridge that looks good but lacks integrity is a bridge no one should cross.
• Identity is not something to be discovered—it's something to be received from God.
• Legacy isn't how you're remembered. It's what your family still carries on—in faith, discipline, and character—when you're gone.

GUEST

Gabe Biedenbaugh is a pastor, men's ministry leader, and the founder of The Forge, an online ministry helping men find clear, God-given direction for their lives. Every Friday, he sends out his "Forge Fridays" email, and he created the 21 Days guided reset to help men establish direction and become who God designed them to be. Gabe and his wife have four children—three sons and a daughter—and live in St. Augustine, Florida.

QUOTES

1. "There is no scoreboard for a healthy marriage. There's no quarterly report of how your kids are doing in their soul." — Gabe Biedenbaugh
2. "Winning at home is being consistent at home." — Gabe Biedenbaugh
3. "The best gift you can give your children is a healthy marriage." — Gabe Biedenbaugh
4. "The foundation matters so much more than what you put on the facade." — Gabe Biedenbaugh
5. "Identity is not something to be discovered—it's something to be received." — Gabe Biedenbaugh
6. "Legacy is not how you're remembered. It's what your family still does when you're gone." — Gabe Biedenbaugh
7. "I want dads to be tough and tender." — Gabe Biedenbaugh
8. "Motivation can last for a season, but motivation will not sustain you. Inspiration will." — Gabe Biedenbaugh

LINKS

• Join the DadAwesome Prayer Team: Text "pray" to (651) 370-8618

• Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome

• Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort

• Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618

• 7-Day Video Series: dadawesome.org/book

• DadAwesome Podcast: dadawesome.org/podcast

• Free Chapter + Intro Video Series: dadawesome.org/book

• Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text "Dad" to (651) 370-8618

• DADAWESOME book: dadawesome.org/book

• Gabe Biedenbaugh's Substack - THE FORGE- https://theforgemen.substack.com/

• Reverb Church

Join the summer DADAWESOME ACCELERATOR 6-week coaching group:

• https://www.dadawesome.org/coaching

SUMMARY

Pastor Gabe Biedenbaugh opens up about the generational faith handed down to him, the shame that nearly disqualified him from his calling, and the "you're not enough" lie so many men carry. In part one of this Father's Day conversation, he shows why vulnerability, brotherhood, and a heart to serve are the way home.

TAKEAWAYS

• The legacy of faith can start with one man stepping in — Gabe's grandfather died young, and other men fathered his dad.
• Shame attacks your identity; conviction shows you the way out, condemnation just says you're the problem.
• Beat the lie head-on: "I'm not enough, but Christ in me is more than enough."
• Vulnerability in real brotherhood is where men get unstuck and find freedom.
• A dad living free brings joy home; serving (not being served) is the posture — "leaders are into towels, not titles."

QUOTES

• "Satan's goal isn't to tell you a blatant lie — it's to tell you something so close to the truth you believe it."
• "My job isn't to fill someone else's cup — it's to empty mine, and let God do what He wants with it."
• "Conviction says you've made a mistake, but here's the way out. Condemnation says, no — you're the problem."
• "When you have shame in your life, it impacts the way you bring your best, or lack thereof, to your family."
• "I want to walk into my home with the attitude of Jesus, who took off his garment to wash feet."

LINKS

• Join the DadAwesome Prayer Team: Text "pray" to (651) 370-8618

• Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome

• Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort

• Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618

• 7-Day Video Series: dadawesome.org/book

• DadAwesome Podcast: dadawesome.org/podcast

• Free Chapter + Intro Video Series: dadawesome.org/book

• Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text "Dad" to (651) 370-8618

• DADAWESOME book: dadawesome.org/book

• Gabe Biedenbaugh's Substack - THE FORGE- https://theforgemen.substack.com/

• Reverb Church

FEATURED

• Join DADAWESOME DAY - Monday June 1st, 2026 - text "book" to (651) 370-8618 to learn more and receive updates on Monday, June 1st.
• Join the next DADAWESOME ACCELERATOR coaching group - APPLY HERE

SUMMARY

Most men are getting lived by their lives instead of actually living them. In this conversation, Alan Briggs unpacks how a life of constant escape leaves us empty at the end of the day, and what it looks like to design something we can actually engage with instead. From Yes Days with your kids to preparing for the car ride home the way you'd prepare for a business meeting, Alan brings practical insight that will reshape how you show up as a dad this week.

TAKEAWAYS

---The best dads aren't the ones with the most time. They're the ones who prepare for the small moments with the same intentionality they bring to work.

---A coming of age year for your son doesn't require waking up at 4 a.m. It just requires showing up consistently and inviting other trusted men to speak life into him.

---Celebrate who your kids actually are instead of trying to make them love what you love. Curiosity is the doorway to connection.

---We were built for both meaningful work and real rest. Without a healthy theology of both, we swing between burnout and apathy.

---The question that changes everything: What is the good life for you and your family three years from now?

GUEST

Alan Briggs is a coach, author, and adventurer based in Colorado Springs. He runs two and a half companies, including a coworking space, and spends his days helping leaders find a lighter, more sustainable way to live and work. He's the author of multiple books, including his latest resource on anti-burnout, and the host of his own podcast for leaders. Alan and his wife are raising four kids ranging from 12 to 23, including two adopted children. He loves the mountains, disc golf with his son, and learning to cheer for his kids in the worlds they love most.

QUOTES

• "Most men are getting lived by their lives. They are not living their lives. They are letting choices make them. They are not making intentional choices."
• "I prepare for business meetings. Do I prepare that well for a date with my wife, a date with my daughter, a car ride? Almost always, no."
• "You don't have to be up at 4 a.m. with your kid. You don't have to do it every day. But do something that affirms you've got what it takes."
• "Celebrate exactly who they are and exactly what they love doing, instead of trying to make them love the things that you love doing."
• "We are not the sum of what we carry. Our identity and who we are loved by is so much more important than what we are as dads."

LINKS

• Join the DadAwesome Prayer Team: Text "pray" to (651) 370-8618

• Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome

• Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort

• Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618

• Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome

• 7-Day Video Series: dadawesome.org/book

• DadAwesome Podcast: dadawesome.org/podcast

• Free Chapter + Intro Video Series: dadawesome.org/book

• Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort: Email [email protected]

• Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text "Dad" to (651) 370-8618

• Dad Awesome book: dadawesome.org/book

• Alan Briggs - H2LEADERSHIP

• Alan's BOOKS

🎙️ Brandon Lake's dad on the DadAwesome podcast.

Mac Lake (a.k.a. "Pops") joins us for a powerful conversation on speaking life, leading at home, and shaping your kids into who God already sees them to be.

✅ The biblical definition of leader — disciple, servant, apostle (and why "I'm not much of a leader" is insecurity, not humility)

✅ How a posture of unhurried presence changes everything (Pops TV, dinosaur eggs, and football for 60 minutes if they want 60)

✅ Why discipline is discipleship — and how to stop disciplining out of a wounded ego

SUMMARY

The words you speak to your kids today become the voice inside their head for the rest of their lives — for better or worse. In this episode, Mac Lake (yes, that Mac — Brandon Lake's dad) shares the leadership wisdom he's spent a lifetime giving away: how to speak life over your kids, why "I'm not much of a leader" is insecurity in disguise, and how a biblical definition of leader — disciple, servant, apostle — changes how you show up at home. Plus Pops TV, dinosaur eggs, and why discipline is discipleship.

TAKEAWAYS

• Leadership in your home requires both spirit and skill. David shepherded with integrity of heart and skillful hands — don't lean only on business-style competence, and don't go passive at home either.
• Your words become your child's inner voice — so speak life. Get on your knee, look them in the eye, tell them you're proud of them and why. Be their biggest cheerleader, not their biggest critic.
• Build a faith legacy by telling the works of God in your family. Like Asaph in Psalm 78, your kids should know specific stories of how God has shown up for your family, not just for Israel.
• Unhurried presence is the gift most dads underestimate. Put the phone away, leave the adult conversation, throw the football for 60 minutes if they want 60 minutes — they need you fully there, not just nearby.
• Discipline is discipleship — not ego protection. When kids misbehave, it's not a verdict on your identity. Shape them into the image of Christ instead of reacting from your wounded ego.

GUEST

Mac Lake is a pastor, leadership coach, and the founder of The Multiplication Center, where he trains church leaders to identify and develop multiplying leaders. He's the author of The Multiplication Effect and has spent decades coaching pastors and executives in leadership pipeline development. He and his wife Cindy ("CeCe") have three grown kids — including worship artist Brandon Lake — and six grandkids who know him as "Pops." They live in South Carolina.

LINKS

• Join the DadAwesome Prayer Team: Text "pray" to (651) 370-8618

• Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome

• Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort

• Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618

• Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome

• 7-Day Video Series: dadawesome.org/book

• DadAwesome Podcast: dadawesome.org/podcast

• Free Chapter + Intro Video Series: dadawesome.org/book

• Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort: Email [email protected]

• Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text "Dad" to (651) 370-8618

• Dad Awesome book: dadawesome.org/book

• The Multiplication Effect by Mac Lake

• Wild at Heart by John Eldredge (referenced)

• Brandon Lake — music and ministry

FROM THE VAULT with Bob Goff:

✅ Why hovering over your family is one of the most important things you can do as a dad

✅ How to leave behind treasures your kids will discover long after you are gone

✅ The courage it takes to quit something that no longer fits and start fresh

✅ What Bob learned from his friends at San Quentin about feeding the people around you

SUMMARY

There are around 8 billion people alive right now, and there have been 107 billion who came before us. That context changes everything about how you spend today with your kids. In this From the Vault conversation, Bob Goff returns to talk about hovering over your family the way God hovered over the earth, leaving behind treasures your kids will discover for years to come, and finding the courage to make bold moves when something in your life needs to change. Bob shares why being fully present matters more than providing, how to live a "no capes" kind of life, and why the small moments will be the bookmarks your kids carry forever.

TAKEAWAYS

• The kind of grandfather you want to be will be a byproduct of the kind of dad you are right now.
• Hovering over each person in your family means asking what they uniquely need that only you could provide.
• Living a "no capes" life means doing meaningful things without making a big deal about them.
• Your family needs you fully present far more than they need what you provide.
• When something in your life stops fitting, having the courage to quit and start fresh can change everything.

GUEST

Bob Goff is the bestselling author of Love Does, Everybody Always, Dream Big, and Undistracted, along with several children's books co-written with his daughter Lindsey. He is the founder of Love Does, a nonprofit that operates schools and safe houses for children in conflict zones around the world. Bob and his wife, Sweet Maria, live in San Diego and spend much of their time at The Oaks, where they host gatherings for dreamers and world changers. They have three grown children and several grandchildren.

Quotes

1. "The kind of grandfather you want to be will be a byproduct of the kind of dad that you are." — Bob Goff
2. "Hover over each person in your family. What does kid number one need that I could only uniquely provide them?" — Bob Goff
3. "What your family really needs you to provide is you, like, fully present." — Bob Goff
4. "Sometimes the familiar will get in the way of what's actually possible." — Bob Goff
5. "Everybody doesn't get a slice, but everybody's fed." — Bob Goff

Links

• Join the DadAwesome Prayer Team: Text "pray" to (651) 370-8618

• Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome

• Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort

• Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618

• Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome

• 7-Day Video Series: dadawesome.org/book

• DadAwesome Podcast: dadawesome.org/podcast

• Free Chapter + Intro Video Series: dadawesome.org/book

• Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort: Email [email protected]

• Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text "Dad" to (651) 370-8618

• Dad Awesome book: dadawesome.org/book

• https://www.bobgoff.com/

• Bob's BOOKS

SUMMARY

I brought a real story to Dr. Michelle this week. A small mistake on my part, a hurt little girl, a defensive dad at bedtime, and my wife catching my eye across the room. What unfolded was a live coaching moment I needed more than I knew. Dr. Michelle gently walked me back through what I missed, what was actually under the anger, and how to do the repair that actually reaches a daughter's heart. If you have ever blown it with your kids and tried to talk your way out of it instead of leaning in, this conversation is for you.

Takeaways

• Anger is usually the front door. The real emotion sitting behind it is almost always sadness, fear, or confusion, and your kids feel that gap before you do.
• When your child tells the story of how you hurt them, the most powerful thing you can say is three words. Tell me more. Then stay there longer than feels comfortable.
• Defensiveness bombs the bridge to your kids' hearts and to their picture of God as Father. Compassion builds it.
• Luke 15 verse 20 gives a five step pattern any dad can follow. He saw, he was filled with compassion, he ran, he threw his arms around, he kissed.
• A consistent monthly daddy daughter date and a note in your own handwriting create anchors of memory your kids will carry into adulthood.

Guest

Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield is a licensed counselor, speaker, and the host of The Dad Whisperer podcast. She founded The Abba Project, a nine month group for dads of daughters between thirteen and thirty, and has spent the last fifteen plus years coaching fathers in the work of pursuing their daughters' hearts. She is the author of Dad, Here's What I Really Need from You and Let's Talk, and her writing on fatherhood has reached dads in all fifty states and around the world.

Quotes

1. "You guys are wired with tender hearts. Tough and tender is a powerful combination as a man." Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield
2. "Under mad is usually sad or scared or confused. Lead with your heart more than your head." Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield
3. "Tell me more. That's how she gets it out, and then it's not there between you anymore." Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield
4. "Defensiveness bombs the bridge. Compassion builds it. That's the work of fathering a daughter's heart." Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield
5. "Anchors of memory in a place. Find one or two spots that become yours together with your daughter." Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield

You probably think you're closer to your daughter than she'd say you are. The research keeps proving it. Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield is back with the question every dad of daughters should ask this week:

✅ The zero to ten question that closes the closeness gap

✅ Why one word of affirmation revives what looked dead

✅ A five senses experiment to pursue her on purpose

✅ Jeff opening up about missing it with his four year old the night before

MOM AWESOME CHALLENGE >

Text MOM to (651) 370-8618 // or click here

SUMMARY

Most dads think they're closer to their daughters than they actually are. Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield has spent 30 years sitting with dads and daughters in the gap between, and she came on DadAwesome to say it plain: your words water her dry soul, your anger can wipe out nine good days, and pursuit is the muscle every dad has to keep building. This is part one of a two part conversation, and Jeff brings a real story from the night before about missing it with his four year old.

TAKEAWAYS

• Pursuit is not a season. It does not end at the wedding or the hospital room. Your daughter and your wife need to be pursued today.
• Ask your daughter the zero to ten question. Where would you rank our closeness, is that the number you want, and what can I do to be a better dad to you.
• Your words land like water on dry soil. One sentence of affirmation can revive what looked dead four days ago.
• Your anger will do more to shut her down than almost anything else. Repair every rupture.
• Run the five senses experiment. Notice what you see in her, listen one minute longer than yesterday, tie smell to memory, speak one word of life, and give safe physical touch on purpose.

GUEST

Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield is a licensed counselor, speaker, and the host of The Dad Whisperer Podcast. She founded The Abba Project in 2010, a group coaching experience for dads of daughters, and has written two books for fathers: Dad, Here's What I Really Need from You and Let's Talk.

QUOTES

• "Your words are like water to her dry soul. She will spring forth with beauty and color and life with your words."
• "You can do nine things right and one anger response can wipe it out. You've got to make repair for the rupture."
• "Every one of us as women have a God given place in us that wants to be seen, adored, championed, celebrated."
• "Ask your daughter on a scale of zero to ten, where would you rank us? What can I do better?"
• "What you see, she doesn't see. By pursuing and seeing and knowing us, we internalize it."

Links:

• Text MOM to (651) 370-8618 // or click here

• Join the DadAwesome Prayer Team: Text "pray" to (651) 370-8618

• dadawesome.org/book

• Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome

• Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort

• Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618

• Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome

• 7-Day Video Series: dadawesome.org/book

• DadAwesome Podcast: dadawesome.org/podcast

• Free Chapter + Intro Video Series: dadawesome.org/book

• Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort: Email [email protected]

• Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text "Dad" to (651) 370-8618

• Dad Awesome book: dadawesome.org/book

• Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield: drmichellewatson.com

• Dad, Here's What I Really Need from You by Dr. Michelle Watson

• Let's Talk by Dr. Michelle Watson

• The Dad Whisperer Podcast

• The Abba Project

• Drop Your Anger video