Daddio Patio

Forrest Gump 2

Haley Joel Osmond stars as a simple man navigating the complexities of 2020 America. JK they should never make a sequel to Forrest Gump, it was the best movie ever made and 10/10 rational individuals agree. 

Oh, yeah, we also tackle some heavy topics on this episode, many of which we are not the best voice on because we are 4 white dudes in a basement. Namely, police brutality, systemic racism, slavery, incarceration, and other cruel, racist bullshit that humanity does. We also get into some lighter topics like reincarnation, Richard Simmons, Scientology, and euthanasia by rollercoaster. 

No one is static, we are always changing. It’s difficult to talk about these things, but if we’re wrong, we’re wrong. We are doing our best to learn, listen, and evolve. We hope this episode brings some insight, or some laughter to your weird ass year. 

See ya next time, hopefully sooner than later. Remember, we don’t all have to agree on everything. 

This is a long one, but hey, you probably have some time. As you may know, we have a new studio, and our episodes sound great now! Too bad we can’t use the studio at the moment. This time we met on Zoom, and did our best to deliver whatever it is that you people want from us.

This time around we were reminded that sanity rests on a thin line. How many steps removed are you from painting your walls with your own shit? Lance is almost there, but he's not gonna use his bare hands like a savage, he's got a brush. 

Speaking of shit, fuck Donald Trump and his evil minions. Sadly, we dedicated some of our precious time and energy to discussing the orange clown again. The current administration's corruption and ineptitude is inseparable from our current circumstances. Please wake up if you’re still listening to that villain. 

Also we would like to take this time to apologize... TO ABSOLUTELY NOBODY. Anyway, hope you and yours are safe. We'll see ya again soon. 

Recorded Sunday March 22 2020.

Daddio Patio is not partisan or political — but we are committed to the search for truth. 

First of all, during this constantly changing situation, please consult experts and reliable sources for the truth and up-to-date information regarding the pandemic. we are doing our best not to contribute to the spread of misinformation, but we also needed to talk to each other about things we have heard or read. DO NOT LISTEN TO THE PRESIDENT, he is full of shit, and has been for his entire life. Speaking of that low life piece of shit, we usually censor his name, but this time we let it ring out. His name must be heard and associated with the current state of things. Let his legacy be that he dropped the ball in the face of obvious danger, and prioritized profits, and his corrupt, inept administration over the health of the American people. He's a little orange coward who doesn’t deserve any more of our attention. Listen to medical professionals. 

fact check-

Kittens meow to let their mother know that they are in need, adult cats continue to meow, but not to each other, they often do this to get attention from humans

40% of americans cannot afford a $400 emergency - not 50%

Harry S Truman’s motto was “the buck stops here” not FDR

The incoming trump administration was briefed by the outgoing Obama administration regarding global pandemic. Over 2/3s of that team is no longer with the trump administration becasue of the remarkable turnover rate. Trump’s former national security advisor John Bolton Oversaw the dissolution of the NSC’s global health security and biodefense section. The office was tasked with preparing for when (not if) another global pandemic struck. Trump disbanded the team because he has no relationship to science or truth, and he DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU.

Please remember that we are not experts, In these trying times we are doing our best to be responsible with our words. ALSO, it's important that you remember we are just joking about many of the scenarios / ideas we talk about. Guilliotines are just for a laugh people, lighten up. 

Is this an episode? Is it not? Who knows. We do know that the Mummy Ride at Universal Studios is scary. We also know that Stryker was easily the worst Mortal Kombat character. Stryker was the ancestor to Paul Blart.

Anyway this episode comes to you from our new spooky basement studio, we are still working out the kinks and getting the sound right, so bear with us. If you know anything about Daddio Patio, you know that we don't know what we are doing. We genuinely thought we were going to retire after 100, but the Pentagram summoned us and our shared subconscious forced us to make this recording.

Thanks for laughin' with us. It's good to be here.

Is this an episode? Is it not? Who knows. We do know that the Mummy Ride at Universal Studios is scary. We also know that Stryker was easily the worst Mortal Kombat character. Stryker was the ancestor to Paul Blart.

Anyway this episode comes to you from our new spooky basement studio, we are still working out the kinks and getting the sound right, so bear with us. If you know anything about Daddio Patio, you know that we don't know what we are doing. We genuinely thought we were going to retire after 100, but the Pentagram summoned us and our shared subconscious forced us to make this recording.

Thanks for laughin' with us. It's good to be here.

Andy lays it all out there, bare and shining for the world to see. Lance gives a stranger the Mandible Claw, Dr. Sant chimes in from isolation, Peach draws a line in the sand with your blood, and Collin wears a tux tighter than an Elvis impersonator.

WE GOT SOMETHIN TO SAY

If you've never listened to Daddio Patio, don't start now, this is very likely our last episode. We tuned up the band for this one and played all the hits. From public restroom humor, to philosophical questions, to observations about the modern world, to raw and unfiltered honesty, we did it all, all over again. Hey, is an above-ground pool really a pool, or is it a tub? Does it have to be in the ground to be a pool? We also did something we rarely do, we broke the 4th wall and talked about the podcast. We shared some of the memories / laughs we had making the show.

-When we started this show in 2013, the world was a different place. This podcast was just a whim that we acted upon one night. We came up with the name Daddio Patio only seconds before we started recording. At that time, our recording device was just an iPhone sitting in the middle of the table. We never imagined it would have any listeners, let alone tens of thousands of downloads from around the world. We never anticipated doing 100 episodes. Many regular / long spanning podcasts are paid or sponsored, ours was primarily an excuse for us to enjoy each other's company, and share some laughs.

Over the years, it's also become a time capsule, and a snapshot of our minds at the time. From profound to absurd, we've said a lot of things. Some were ideas that we still carry, some are not, some were meant to be taken seriously, and some were absolutely, definitely not. Our show was always in pursuit of hilarity and truth at the same time, often seamlessly jumping back and forth.

While the world, and circumstance changed around us, one thing never did: our love for each other, and making this dumb podcast. None of the traveling, moving, stolen laptops, crashed hard drives, or life events could stop us from doing this dumb shit, and that's pretty cool.

We want to thank everyone who was involved with Daddio Patio in any way whatsoever. Whether you made our live shows possible, created artwork, appeared as a guest, called in, wrote reviews, subscribed, or just laughed with us, we truly appreciate you. We hope that Daddio Patio meant something to you.

The future is unknown, and we are pulling into shore for now. Whether or not we ever make another Daddio Patio episode— it doesn't matter. Daddio Patio is infinite, it's forever, it's in us and it's in you. Also, it's a stain on our permanent records, and it's on the internet forever.

Seriously though, thank you for laughing with us.

DAAAAAAADDDDIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

FUCKIN

PATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo

This time on daddio patio we cut our lives in two pieces. This was our last resort. With our show's hosts scattering in the wind, and life events all the time, we decided to take the show on the road. Whether or not you know us personally, this episode is a montage of a few recent life events. Big Peachy Sosa had a birthday, so the first episode covers Andy and Peach living their wrestling fan gimmick lifestyle, and driving to Chicago to see wrestling shows all weekend. Collin, Dr. Sant, and Lance all make phone appearances while they're on the road. There are more than a few cracker barrel stops, and a return to form as andy and peach sell you their favorite products between segments. Be sure to check out part 2 of this episode, as it captures friendship under the stars, Lancey boy's bachelor party, and his wedding. Thanks for listening to Daddio Patio, we love ya.

This week the boys gather early in the morning to fill their holes with coffee. They try to sell you on the Apple ecosystem and all of the goofy tech stuff you can do with it. Hey, you ever notice how tech bros have the absolute worst style? Yet they are leading the changes in humanity. Should we really trust people who can't dress themselves with any taste? Anyway, we send Dr. Sant off to the mountains in the way he would have wanted it, unceremoniously. 

All of this nonsense and more on this episode.