Daddio Patio

We're havin' a kick ass summer, and we hope you are too! Hey, did you know that July of 2019 was the hottest month on record, ever? Like, in all of recorded history. Good thing we have leaders that are intelligent and doing something about it. Fuck those demons. 

Also, if you like nerd stuff, or nostalgia for your childhood, this episode is for you. Our regular guest Schleicher joins us, along with Skull. Skull has recently started collecting and selling old video games, you can follow him @gamethangerz

Okay, great. Btw, we are not suggesting they bring back the guillotine, but if they do, we want front row seats so we can get splashed like a Gallagher show. Love yas and thanks for listening. HAKAS

Stupidity -- we can all be stupid in different ways, we all have our shortcomings. Stupidity has no specific brand, especially in this political climate. Dumbasses on the left and right can’t stop arguing while we all have to deal with a dumbass that dumbasses elected.

What’s there to do? believe Alex Jones conspiracy theories or try to out-liberal everyone on social media? Both of those options sound fuckin' stupid. 

Maybe it’s time to give it all over to the robot overlords, but wait, is their perfection and precision a form of stupidity? or are we stupid for having emotions?

The Daddios discuss all of this and more, but don’t end up with any real conclusions. Why? because we’re fuckin’ stupid.

An 80's movie with an unfortunate mishap, starring Robin Williams. This week we go way back, way before 23 and me DNA tests.

People say we’re crazy, doin what we’re doin, but we’re back. This week, we recorded a daytime episode. Drinking coffee, staring out the window at the Cardinals playing in the midwestern snow, we couldn’t help but wonder. Do people = shit like Slipknot said? Or can we as humans aspire to whatever John Lennon imagined? Was John Lennon also a piece of shit? Is it really this simple, people being good & bad? Does a person ever reach a point at which they are completely beyond redemption? Social media would have you believe that for the smallest offense or deviation in thought, you should be ostracized from society. From politics, to boogers, this daytime episode probably has whatever you’re looking for in our shitty podcast. Thanks for listening. Three 6 Mafia forever, slob on my knob.

This week, sans van sant & joined by Anisa, the daddios discuss what's cool. How do we determine what's cool anyway? Why do we have all of these temperature adjectives for how we feel about things? The paradox of being cool, is the more that you want to be cool, the less cool you are. What accessories and gimmicks make you cool? Scars, eye patch, tiny bird, peg leg... pirates have all the gimmicks, but they're still less cool than cowboys. How can cowboys be so cool when the words "cow" and "boy" aren't really that cool? I guess everything is more than the sum of it's parts, and that's pretty cool. 

This week, we're joined by our old friend Jared, you might remember him from the variety hour episode wayyy back in the day. There's no forgiving us for this one, this episode starts off pretty thoughtful and sincere, but has an M. Night Shyamalan twist at the end. We won't give anything away, but for the record, we'd like to state that it's not okay to drive drunk, but it is okay to get those bottom two ribs removed and live the rest of your days like Marilyn Manson, in pleasure. 

We're back. This week the Daddios really show their age by their inability to understand music genres that happened in like 2010.

Hey, are we on the wrong timeline? Will Smith turned down being Neo in The Matrix so he could be in Wild Wild West, then that movie spawned the steampunk subculture. Also, Nick Cage was supposed to be a Tim Burton Superman. So instead of all this potential, we got a reality tv clown for a president and a bunch of people pretending to still use steam. Every time you watch the news or see a steampunk, it's evidence that we are in the wrong reality. 

Can the daddios ever get back to the right timeline? it’s a cage match between ourselves, but we’re all in our own cages, wearing each other’s faces. Tune in this week to find out, also Lance sent an uzi back in time, wrapped in ballsac skin. If your salt suddenly turns to paprika, just know it's because someone in the past received it. 

It’s been a little while, but we’re back. This week we’re talking about fights. What is it that makes humans so excited by violence, real or simulated? Are we still just a bunch of sophisticated primates? This leads the Daddios to deeper questions, like what brought humanity into self-awareness? Was it the touch of an alien’s fingers, or was it psilocybin mushrooms, was it Dave Thomas from Wendy’s? Also where were you on 9/11?

For an episode about violence and struggle, this one turned out to be pretty wholesome. Maybe it was the setting-- outdoors under the stars, beers in hand. Or maybe it was because Dr. Sant wasn’t there to shoot down our ignorant optimism with real, researched facts. Anyway, tune in this week, Andy gets punched in Ireland, Peaches has cero miedo, Collin learns to spell botulism, and Lance turns away from his rowdy, fighting’ old ways. The whole dang crew goes spelunking for a frosty.

This episode fought it's way from our actual patio, through the cosmos, and into your ear holes, enjoy. <3

Hey it’s another episode from your absent hosts. Andy’s computer is still broken and there have been a lot of life events, so we’re doing the best we can! Anyway, what’s up with George Washington? He kinda looks weird. His original portrait that they based the dollar bill on is still hanging in the Crystal Bridges Museum in Bentonville Arkansas. It’s just too bad that beautiful museum of American art is built on Wal Mart blood money. Apparently, if you have enough money, you can get away with anything. Remember when Dick Cheny shot a guy? He’s more spooky than Danny DeVito as the Penguin.

Anyway we’re back like Arnold in Terminator 2, and by that I mean we’re coming into your pool hall butt nude to kick your ass. Hey what’s your favorite sword? It doesn’t matter, the Katana is clearly the best one. The Katana isn’t the only cool thing Japan has given us, this episode we discuss some of our favorite things from Japan (Nintendo, Pokemon, Motorcycles, Lance loves Hentai, etc). If Peaches was awake for the last 20 minutes of the show, he would have told us all about Japanese pro wrestling.

So get ready, we gonna piss on ya like a urinal. Episode 88, here we go.

(This episode contains a few misstated facts because all 5 of us are full of shit:

The emperor of Japan did not commit suicide after ww2, but the general of the Imperial Japanese Army Korechika Anami did by seppuku the morning after surrender - August 14 1945

The bombings in Hiroshima and Nagasaki killed roughly 300,000 people, not 900,000

The sword in Final Fantasy counts as a sword)