Darkseid's Couch

Darkseid's Couch

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Darkseid's Couch episodes

  • S13:E9 - Child's Play No. 4 (1991)
    This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée are still slashing their way through a month of allegedly spooky comics! In Child's Play no. 4, murderous doll Chucky has to fight his way through a department store full of more sentient, non-copyright-infringing toys! How did they come to life? Why are they so angry? How come a book based on a horror movie franchise isn't even attempting to be scary? And why couldn't Innovation Publishing innovate themselves a business model that would last longer than five years? There won't be any answers, but at least there'll be plenty of goofy puns. Hey, Halloween 2020 was going to be a disappointment anyway, you might as well start getting used to it now.
    1 hr 6 min
  • S13:E8 - Ghost Rider No. 31 (1992)

    This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée go looking for scares in all the wrong places when they trudge through Ghost Rider no. 31! Doctor Strange has brought together the finest nine heroes who didn't have anything else to do tonight and mashed them together to form the gothiest new superteam of 1992, the Midnight Sons! Wait, nine members? Boy, they're gonna be the Early Afternoon Sons by the time this roll call is done, right!? You've got Ghost Rider! Morbius, the Wealthy Vampire! Blade, the Morbius Hunter! Blade's Friend! The Other Ghost Rider! Man in Coat! Gun Guy! Sunglasses Lady! Backup Gun Guy! Faced with insurmountable odds, they'll put aside their differences and work together for the greater good: Bringing us a spooky Halloween comic! Did they succeed? It's shocking that you would even ask.

    58 min
  • S13:E7 - The Twilight Zone No. 88 (1978)
    This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée begin a month of spooky comic book tales with The Twilight Zone no. 88! An adaptation of the iconic television show, The Twilight Zone comic might not have the show's signature eerie charm and social relevance, but it makes up for it in topless drawings of a pretty buff Rod Serling! In the cover story, a dork receives a mysterious barbell that makes him instantly jacked, but when his ego gets out of control he learns the greatest lesson of all: Too much cardio will really burn up your gains. Oh, and be kind to others or whatever. Then, two other stories that weren't good enough to be on the cover! Those are probably so good people didn't even think they needed to be advertised!
    1 hr 10 min
  • S13:E6 - Marvel Two-In-One No. 65 (1980)
    This time on Stingray's Cove: Mike, James, and Shée look for shelter from 1980's Marvel Two-In-One no. 65! Everyone's favorite superhero finally gets his chance to shine when Stingray singlehandedly takes down a gang of snake-themed terrorists! Well, technically he gets his aquatic ass handed to him immediately after stumbling unto an undersea heist, but he probably only let them win so that The Thing could look like a hero. That guy's life is a horror show, he deserves a win. Then, Triton the Inhuman makes flimsy excuses for why he didn't help despite being the only one with actual water-based superpowers. Bro, if you didn't want to hang out with Stingray just say so, nobody's gonna blame you.
    58 min
  • S13:E5 - Aquaman No. 16 (1964)
    This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée get sucked into a whirlpool of aquatic nonsense with 1964's Aquaman no. 16! It's a tale of lust on the high seas when the King of Atlantis appears to have fallen in love with a mysterious alien lady! Sirene does things his girlfriend Mera never would, like shapeshift and pilot a flying saucer. In a surprise twist, it turns out to have all been a ruse perpetrated by another alien who's on the run from some space toughs for squealing to the space cops about their space crimes, and only the Aquafamily can help! Sensing an opportunity to both uphold justice and manipulate Mera's emotions for his own benefit, Aquaman pits his two suitors against each other, with the Crown of Atlantis as the prize! ("The Crown of Atlantis" is how Aquaman refers to his weird fish genitals.) Meanwhile, Aquaman's ward Aqualad looks around vacantly for something to do. You might have to sit this one out, little buddy: Things might get a little PG-13!
    55 min
  • S13:E4 - Namor the Sub-Mariner No. 35 (1993)
    This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée dive into a month of water-themed comics, starting with Namor, the Sub-Mariner no. 35! Marvel's first mutant returns home to Atlantis to show off his radical 90s makeover, only to find that a woman claiming to be his dead mother has claimed the throne in his absence! Maybe it's all a big misunderstanding: It's super dark down there and nobody can hear what anyone's saying, these kinds of things probably happen all the time. But before Namor can deal with that, he'll have to clean up after an unexpected visit from Venom's stunt double, the murderous Tiger Shark! Wow, the ocean is just one hassle after another. You have to wonder if Namor wouldn't rather hang out with the X-Men instead if Xavier didn't have so many rules about wearing shirts at school.
    1 hr 4 min
  • S13:E3 - Strange Adventures No. 52 (1955)
    This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée take a break from the totally sensible comics they normally read and try out Strange Adventures no. 52! A decade after World War II, Strange Adventures encapsulated an America obsessed with aliens, bombs, radioactive birds, and a few more bombs, just to be on the safe side. First, a man accidentally creates a species of giant malevolent parakeets. Next, some fraudsters get clowned on by spacemen. Then, a child becomes an intergalactic menace because he has no parental guidance. Of course, nobody ever learns anything from this parade of fuck-ups, so it looks like we'll just keep living in the existential quicksand our boomer heritage has left for us until someone builds a bomb big enough to hit 'RESET' on the last few millennia. It seems that modern life was the strangest adventure of all, amirite?!
    53 min
  • S13:E2 - Ka-Zar the Savage No. 17 (1982)

    This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée get out their oversized magnifying glasses to look for clues in 1982's Ka-Zar the Savage no. 17! Bored of the Savage Land, Ka-Zar decides to get turnt on some mushroom soup and read trashy noir comic books. It's the same coping mechanism that got a generation of adolescents through the 90s. Unfortunately, since Ka-Zar and his lucky bride Shanna just eat random things they find in the jungle, they become trapped in a zany detective hallucination filled with intrigue, murderous dames, and canted fedoras that never fall off your head no matter how many windows you dive through. Can Shanna find the right arbitrary jungle flora to reverse the effects and save Ka-Zar, or will she use this as an excuse to finally leave her dopey manchild of a husband? You know, maybe none of this would've happened if you bothered making dinner once in a while, Ka-Zar.

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    54 min
  • S13:E1 - Mr. T and the T-Force No. 3 (1993)
    This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée discover that the T-Force was inside themselves all along when they read 1993's Mr. T and the T-Force no. 3! Fashion icon Mr. T finally gets his own comic, which mostly features him beating up children and videotaping it. You'd think he'd prefer to make himself the hero of his own comic instead of a bloodthirsty public menace, but here we are. In this issue, Mr. T prowls the streets of Chicago looking for other people's business to stick his mohawk into, eventually screaming into enough faces to infiltrate a secret chop shop and put multiple innocent lives in danger in the process. Hey, that's just the Tao of T, baby! Next time don't recruit a guy with 40 pounds of gold chains around his neck if you're hoping for subtlety.
    56 min
  • S12:E10 - Batman No. 191 (1967)
    This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée pool their life savings to buy a Batarang after reading 1967's Batman no. 191! The Dark Knight is selling all of his batcrap because it might give him cancer, so it looks like we know exactly how much he actually cares about saving Gotham. Come on, Batman! There's always chemotherapy for the cancer, but the Joker ain't going into remission! Then, Alfred's famous kitchen prowess gets him abducted by some hungry mobsters, forcing him to leave the kind of tenuous clues that only an unhinged psychopath would think to put together. Luckily, Bruce Wayne is a grown man who decided a yellow oval on a grey unitard is fashion forward, so Alfred should be home by dinner.
    1 hr 4 min

About Darkseid's Couch

From the publisher's feed

Mike, James, and Shée read old comic books and make themselves hate all forms of artistic expression in the process.