You’ve been on a personal growth path and the self-love is flowing; you’re really starting to value yourself. You’re finally done with dysfunctional relationships and are ready to step into a healthy, happy one. So how do you do it? For insecurely attached people, it can be a challenge to date someone who is available. That boogey man you think you’ve dealt with will peek its head out, wreaking havoc in your mind. You get triggered, and find fear in the strangest of places when you engage with this emotionally available person.

Dating this way is like moving into a whole new arena. Being open and vulnerable means you are no longer hiding out, or coming up with your next mental strategy. But having someone consistently share their feelings (you know they like you, and you know where you stand with them) can create an internal struggle between your desire for a healthy relationship and those old patterns and beliefs which still have some kind of grip on you. So what do you do?

Growth isn’t easy, but you have to stick with it. You have to show up being totally responsible for yourself; no blaming or pointing fingers at the other person. You have to be honest about what you’re feeling, and openly share it. Many people say they want a healthy, happy relationship, but they aren’t willing to do the work to get there. You’re at a crossroads, and the only way to have what you say you want is by being in a relationship where your insecurities are triggered. Listen in if you’re ready to put action behind those words.