Dating, Relationships, and Disability

We have an important topic to discuss: the significance of saying no to sexual ableism in dating and relationships, especially for people with disabilities.

Understanding Sexual Ableism

Let's start by defining sexual ableism. What is it, and how does it manifest in the context of dating and relationships?

Sexual ableism is the discrimination and bias that people with disabilities face concerning their sexual desires, capabilities, and experiences, based on a belief that people with disabilities are inferior in these areas.

Manifestations of Sexual Ableism

Sexual ableism can manifest in various ways. For instance, people may assume that individuals with disabilities are asexual or incapable of having fulfilling sexual lives. This assumption can lead to exclusion, stereotyping, or patronizing behavior in dating and relationships.

The Harm of Stereotypes and Fetishization

These stereotypes can be deeply harmful. One common example is the fetishization of disability, known as devotees. Some individuals may be attracted to people with disabilities solely because of their disability, which objectifies them. On the other hand, some might reject individuals with disabilities because of their preconceived notions about what a "normal" or "ideal" partner should be like. Both situations are harmful, as they reduce a person to their disability rather than seeing them as a whole, multi-dimensional individual.

Combatting Sexual Ableism

So, how can we actively combat sexual ableism in dating and relationships? First, we need to name it. Open and honest communication with partners is also key. Inclusive conversations about desires, boundaries, and needs help create an environment of mutual respect.

The Role of Media in Shaping Attitudes

Media has a significant role to play in shaping societal attitudes. When the media portrays people with disabilities in meaningful, diverse, and authentic ways, it helps break down stereotypes.

Embracing Diversity and Respecting Autonomy

It's about embracing diversity and respecting individual autonomy. For individuals with disabilities, it's essential to know and own the right to pursue fulfilling and satisfying relationships just like anyone else. We need to communicate openly with their partners about their desires and boundaries and be empowered to say no to any form of discrimination or objectification.

Conclusion: A Call for Inclusivity and Respect

I hope that this conversation has shed light on the importance of saying no to sexual ableism in dating and relationships, and that we can collectively work towards a more inclusive and respectful society for all.

Resources 

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Check out our Dating Memberships: Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more. Try Dating Made Easier for 14 days for just $7.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate

Do you sometimes read online advice articles and think, "Well, I didn’t learn anything new?" I often feel that way about articles offering dating advice, and many times, the articles don’t speak to the particular challenges of dating with a disability.

Today, I’m taking some nuggets from an article, "How to Be Better at Online Dating According to Psychology," and offering a twist to them if you live with a disability AND also if you prefer to do offline dating.

Step 1: Choose the Right Dating App

The first piece of advice is all about choosing the right dating app. Remember, dating isn't a one-size-fits-all game. Be selective! Different apps cater to different needs and preferences. Some are known for casual encounters, while others are designed for people with shared interests or beliefs. Use apps that align with your partner preferences.

Step 2: Honesty Is the Best Policy

Step number two: Honesty is the best policy. Research shows that people tend to connect with others who are similar to themselves in various aspects of life, such as relationship history, family planning, pet preferences, and religion. So, be honest about who you are and what you want. If you have any deal-breakers, mentioning them upfront can save you time and effort in the long run.

Step 3: The Power of Your Profile Picture

Moving on to step number three – the power of your profile picture. It's essential that your photos accurately depict your physical appearance, but they should also be ones you genuinely like. Research suggests that specific attributes, like a genuine smile and a slight head tilt, can increase your likability. Remember, these photos are your first impression, so choose wisely!

Step 4: Crafting an Engaging Profile Description

Step number four is all about your profile description. Nobody wants to read a lengthy essay. People swipe through profiles quickly. So, get to the point! State the things that matter most to you, but also highlight what makes you unique. People are drawn to interesting individuals.

Step 5: Be Open-Minded

In step number five, we encourage you to be open-minded. Don't write someone off just because they have different hobbies or interests. Being as open-minded as possible is important, as personal growth is often a hallmark of successful long-term relationships. You might be surprised at what you can learn from someone you meet online.

Step 6: Keep Conversations Short and Engaging

Now, let's discuss keeping your conversations short and engaging. While online interactions are essential, there are aspects of a relationship that can only be discovered face-to-face. Make an effort to get to know the person by asking about specific aspects of their profile, likes, and dislikes.

Step 7: Have Fun!

And finally, step number seven: Have fun! Dating apps should be an enjoyable experience, not a chore. If it starts feeling like work or you're not having fun, it might be time for a break or to try something different. Enjoy the process, and remember, love should feel exciting, not exhausting.

Conclusion: A Holistic Approach to Online Dating

Remember, it's all about choosing the right app, being honest, picking the right profile picture, crafting an engaging profile, staying open-minded, keeping conversations interesting, and most importantly, having fun.

How to Write a Kick Butt Dating Profile

Conversation Guide

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Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Try Dating Made Easier for 14 days for just $7.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation

Artwork photo by Elevate

"I don't feel attractive." If you haven’t said that at some point in your life, I think you’re in a very small and fortunate group. Most of us have grappled with this feeling, which is really a belief, at some point in our lives, especially when it comes to dating. While we are certainly working on changing this on both an individual and collective level in the Disabled community, we can still make some significant inroads.

The Prevalence of This Belief in the Disabled Community

For years now, I have been running a dating with disabilities survey that people get a link to when they opt in to many of my resource guides. A top concern that people with disabilities express relates to believing they’re not attractive. I grew up with that concern and didn't shed it until I was well into my thirties, despite dating and having relationships. It's a belief that can really weigh you down. It did me. The GREAT NEWS is feeling this way can be UNDONE and once it is, there's no going back. I think the majority of people, both with and without disabilities, struggle at some point in their life with this feeling.

Media and the Concept of Attractiveness

We're all bombarded with messages from traditional and social media about what is and isn't considered "attractive." Then throw in a disability and where is any framework around what's attractive?

Creating Your Own Framework for Attractiveness

Time to make our own! Feeling attractive is a state of mind. It is not something that is determined by your physical appearance. What you believe about yourself is more important than what others believe about you. If you believe that you are attractive, then you will be more likely to feel attractive. You can change your beliefs about yourself through positive self-talk and affirmations. It is important to focus on your positive qualities and to celebrate your unique beauty. Remember that everyone is different and that there is no one definition of beauty. Be confident in who you are and be proud of your appearance.

The Power of Perception: Changing How You See Yourself

Your perception of yourself is influenced by your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about yourself. You can change your perception of yourself by changing your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about yourself. You can change your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about yourself by practicing positive self-talk, affirmations, and visualization. Positive self-talk is when you say positive things to yourself, such as "I am beautiful" or "I am worthy of love." Affirmations are positive statements that you repeat to yourself, such as "I am confident" or "I am capable." Visualization is when you imagine yourself being successful or attractive. It is important to focus on your positive qualities and to celebrate your unique beauty. Everyone is different and there is no one definition of beauty. Be confident in who you are and be proud of your appearance.

Flipping the Script: A Practical Exercise

It begins with a relatively simple process called "Flipping the Script," turning around your thoughts when you feel yourself sinking into negative thinking. What if...instead of placing your energy on worrying if you're attractive, you placed that focus on what IS attractive about you?

The 30-Day Confidence Boost Challenge

This will take practice, but here's the thing I have learned about living fully and happily with a disability: it's a disciplined practice until it begins to come naturally to you. If you need help with this, here's an exercise to get you beginning to flip that script. I know there's at least 25 attractive characteristics about you. Don't worry, I won't ask you to list all 25, just five of them. Then spend the next 30 days (yes, 30 consecutive days) reading the list at least once a day. This daily practice is going to be very integral to flipping that thinking to all that is attractive about you. This is then going to lead to increased confidence - and not just for dating, but overall.

Conclusion: The Power of a Changed Mindset

This change in my mindset was a game changer for me and I just began to feel better about myself in general.

How to Feel Attractive Guide

Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation

Artwork photo by Elevate

Dateability has been featured in the Washington Post, USA Today, and National Public Radio to name a few. Our Mission Dateability is the only dating app designed for the disabled and chronically ill communities.

Here's a description from their website:

People with disabilities and chronic illness often encounter ableism on other dating apps. We understand the unique circumstances that present when dating with a disability, which is why we created a safe and accepting space to create meaningful connections for people with physical, intellectual, and psychiatric disabilities. We are dedicated to creating an inclusive dating app which means welcoming people of all genders and sexual orientations.

Today I talk with cofounders of Dateability, Jacqueline and Alexa Child, about their app and their background/personal experience in the area of dating, relationships, and disabilities. Jacqueline found dating challenging and would always fear disclosing her disability. She shares her process for becoming comfortable in disclosing your disability in dating?

From Jacqueline's’s blog: Most people have to kiss a lot of frogs to find their person, but no one should have to go through abuse, harassment, or discrimination to find them. 

We talk about the Dateability app itself and the process when one signs up on Dateability. Dateability Deets is a section on each user’s profile. Users can choose from an extensive list of broad terms, such as ‘wheelchair user,’ ‘mental illness,’ or ‘service animal.’ Using Dateability Deets on one’s profile helps users disclose in a way that does not divulge too much specific information about a person’s diagnosis or condition. 

Dateability is an inclusive app and we talk about decision to open it up to nondisabled people and what is your percentage of nondisabled users. We also discuss the issue of devotees.

Dateability offers optional profile verification. To enhance safety, users can verify their account by submitting three photos modeling specific poses and receive a yellow badge. Verification is human-approved. I love this feature because safety is such a significant issue for people. We chat about how this works and if they have been able to screen people out with it.

We also talk about the skills of confidence and self esteem in regards to successful dating and healthy relationships. I ask them about how they think society can change to be more open to seeing people with disabilities as dating and relationships partners. They also share their most helpful advice you can give for someone with a disability in search of dating success and healthy relationships and for nondisabled people in considering dating someone with a disability.

Connect with Dateability:

Website

Web based app

On Instagram

Dateability App can be downloaded with Google Play or the App store.

Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Try Dating Made Easier for 14 days for just $7.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation

Artwork photo by Elevate

Try Dating Made Easier for 14 days for just $7.

According to the Googles, “Skin in the game” is a phrase made popular by renowned investor Warren Buffett referring to a situation in which high-ranking insiders use their own money to buy stock in the company they are running. The saying is particularly common in business, finance, and gambling and is also used in politics.

And I would add personal development.

Today we have a topic that's not just important but deeply empowering, especially for people with disabilities. We're diving into why it's crucial for people with disabilities and limited budgets to invest in items that will help them acquire the skills they need to pursue their dreams and lead fulfilling lives.

To begin our discussion, let's first acknowledge the unique challenges faced by individuals with disabilities and limited budgets. These challenges often include financial constraints, limited access to specialized resources, and the need to navigate a world that may not always be accommodating. It's essential to recognize that many individuals with disabilities are eager to learn, grow, and contribute to society, just like anyone else. However, they may face additional hurdles in accessing the tools and resources required to achieve their goals.

Let's explore why investing in items that can help individuals acquire essential skills is so crucial. Of course, we can't ignore the financial aspect. Many individuals with disabilities and limited budgets face challenges in affording these empowering items. However, there are strategies to overcome these obstacles.

Financial planning and assistance programs are available to help individuals with disabilities access the resources they need. By exploring these options and prioritizing their investment, individuals can move closer to their goals.

The Power of Skills

Let's talk about the significance of skills in shaping one's life. Skills are like keys to unlock doors of opportunity. They empower individuals to overcome challenges and achieve their goals. For people with disabilities, developing specific skills can be a game-changer, enabling them to be more independent, confident, and successful.

Breaking Down the Myths

Let's debunk some common myths surrounding investing in skills when on a limited budget. First, some might think it's unaffordable. But remember, not all skill-building requires expensive tools or resources. There are often accessible and affordable alternatives.

Building a Support Network and Getting Creative

Building a support network is essential. There are various organizations, grants, and programs dedicated to helping people with disabilities acquire the skills they need. Connecting with these resources can be a lifeline for those facing financial constraints. You can also get creative and perhaps ask for what you’re looking to invest in for a holiday or birthday gift. Or could you offer to do some side work to earn some cash.

Encouraging Empowerment

Investing in skills is not just about acquiring knowledge; it's about investing in oneself, in one's future, and in the empowerment of individuals with disabilities. It's a statement of belief in the limitless potential that every person possesses.

Paying for something can be empowering for several reasons:

Autonomy and Choice: When you pay for a product or service, you exercise your autonomy and ability to make choices. You are in control of your decisions, which can boost your confidence and self-esteem. You're not dependent on others to provide for you; you're actively participating in the marketplace.

Value Assessment: Paying requires you to evaluate the value of what you're buying. You consider if the item or service is worth the cost, which encourages critical thinking and decision-making. This process helps you become a more discerning consumer.

Financial Responsibility: Making payments fosters financial responsibility. It requires you to manage your budget, prioritize spending, and plan for future expenses. Being in control of your finances is a fundamental aspect of empowerment.

Ownership and Accountability: Paying for something often means you own it. This ownership can give you a sense of pride and responsibility. You're accountable for maintaining and using what you've paid for, which can lead to a greater sense of empowerment and self-reliance.

Contribution to the Economy: Your payments contribute to the functioning of the economy, supporting businesses and livelihoods. Knowing that your financial transactions play a part in sustaining the economic system can be empowering.

Fair Exchange: Paying for goods or services is often a fair exchange. You receive something valuable in return for your money. This transactional fairness can boost your confidence and reinforce the idea that you're getting what you deserve.

Goal Achievement: Paying for something can be a step toward achieving your goals and desires. Whether it's buying a home, pursuing education, or investing in self-improvement, making payments can bring you closer to your aspirations.

Paying for something is empowering because it grants you the autonomy to choose, encourages financial responsibility, fosters a sense of ownership and accountability, contributes to the economy, ensures fair exchange, helps you achieve your goals, and can even empower you to make a positive impact on society through philanthropy. These factors collectively enhance your sense of control, self-worth, and influence in various aspects of your life.

I hope this episode has shed light on the importance of breaking down barriers, embracing opportunities, and investing in the skills that can lead to a fulfilling life. Remember that empowerment isn't just about acquiring skills; it's about believing in yourself and your ability to overcome challenges. When you invest in your dreams, you're investing in your own potential, and that's a powerful statement.

Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Try Dating Made Easier for 14 days for just $7.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation

Artwork photo by Elevate

If you have been listening to me, even for just a tiny bit, you know I often say dating is very hard and then I quickly follow that up with but totally possible. However, I may not have added that latter part when I was in the throes of dating. Whether I was or wasn’t doing online dating, I actually did not know if I would be able to experience dating success. For me, success in dating meant finding someone to share life with and possibly raise a family with. For you, that might me having a series of monogamous love affairs or just having a good time dating a few people at once. I trust that you have a good idea on what your definition of dating success looks like.

But let’s face it, dating is damn hard. I must also confess that one of the many joys of having a life partner is knowing you don’t have to be in that vulnerability again of putting yourself out there and date new people. If you have listened to me for a bit, you also know I have created the Dating Made Easier monthly membership to offer all people wanting to be successful at dating skills, resources, and support to make that happen.

Having been born with CP and life with adversity being all I have known, I grew up - much to the credit of my amazing parents - to believe that you don’t back away from something simply because it’s hard. As I always say, if there’s a dream in your heart, it’s worth pursuing because it will help you feel like you’re living your life to the fullest. Today I want to look at exactly why dating is perceived as being so hard and offer my own take on how it can be easier. For the reasons why dating is hard, I’m referring to an online article called of course, Why Is Dating So Hard?

You can easily get overwhelmed by all the choices for online dating platforms and apps. It seems like there’s specialty dating spaces for all kinds of people. Did you know there’s one for farmers, for example? So of course diversity is great, but it can actually pause progress if you get caught in trying to decide the best one.

My advice is pick 1-3 dating platforms to try. No more than three. You’ll overwhelm yourself. Then commit to at least three months on a platform to allow yourself to gain traction. Personal Expectations Many people go into a date thinking or hoping that this may be their last date—or this is the person they’re going to marry.

That’s a lot of pressure, not just on them, but on you! Ease off on yourself. The article I’m referencing gives a good analogy of thinking about dating in terms of friendship—you wouldn’t go into a party thinking you’re going to meet your best friend that night, right? Why is dating different?

Things are rapidly changing in our society and heteronormative rules of the traditional family unit of finding a partner, getting married and having kids is no longer the standard. I believe that’s a good thing for people with disabilities as we frequently don’t fit into norms. But for many, the expectation that we should is still there.

This is where I believe personal empowerment comes into dating. I encourage people to spend some time getting clear on what they want for themselves in dating and relationships. What’s your long term vision? What kind of relationship will really meet your needs? I have a great exercise to help you get clear about this. You get out a note app or pen and paper and write this sentence repeatedly, “I attract into my life _________.” Then you fill in the blank with qualities of a partner and relationship that would truly fulfill what your heart desires the most. Download a copy of this exercise at the link in the show notes.

The article cites that nearly 40% of people report meeting their significant other online. “Apps, on one level, make it harder to sort through,” says Carmichael. “However, it makes it easier to locate a broader swath of people you might not ordinarily be exposed to—and establish right off the bat that you’re single and ready to date.”

I encounter many people who don’t want to do online dating or the platforms are not disability friendly, either in terms of accommodations or attitudes. We definitely have work to do in the dating app world. With that said, I do recommend that if you haven’t tried online dating or a dating app, to give it a try because hey, you never know, right?

And…I do have to say something here that will be controversial and I may do a separate episode on this because it’s such a complicated issue, but here goes. I understand many, many people with disabilities are living on limited incomes, which naturally is a broad and systemic problem. That being said, I think if you want to increase your chances for dating success, you need to consider budgeting a small amount of money for a dating app, coaching, counseling or a membership like Dating Made Easier because it gives you what they call “skin in the game.”

For better or worse, when we invest some money, we tend to be more invested in the outcome and put more effort into something versus when we get some for free, we often don’t have that same level of commitment.

People, particularly women, are perhaps more worried about their safety than they’ve ever been before. The rise of online dating and technology in general add new concerns, such as being catfished, receiving unwanted explicit photos, or someone sharing your explicit photos without your consent. My advice is set up some rules for yourself like always having a video chat before you meet someone in person, always meet in a public location, tell others where you’ll be, develop good boundaries, etc

Remember that despite the illusion of social media, people are imperfect,say the wrong things, and make tons of mistakes. Your potential partner is no different. Remember not everything is a happy IG post and that’s part of what makes love and intimate relationships so great - committing to the whole person and guess what, if it really works right, they commit to all of you as well.

Yes, dating can be hard—but don't despair. It's very possible!

Why Is Dating So Hard? (article)

Relationship Vision Guide (download)

Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation

Artwork photo by Elevate

Recently, a podcast listener asked me this: May I ask, what were you doing at 23 socially and what do you wish you knew then?

Ummm…I had to think about it for a few days. I told him it was a great question and my longer answer would make for a great podcast. Here’s what I told him:

At age 23, I was living with a roommate of mine from college. We did a lot together socially. I have to admit I went to a lot of bars to try to meet people. These were pre-internet/online dating days. I wish I knew back then that everything would work out in its own time. That might have saved me from getting into a not-so-great relationship at 25. Hope that helps.

That was the abridged version. After thinking more about it, here’s six major things that if I could go back to 1991 and have a cup of coffee with that young woman trying to find her way, I would say:

Be patient. Everything does truly work the way it’s meant to. I recently heard this fantastic Steve Jobs quote: "You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards." So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something—your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.

Be brave. The world may not get disability right now and in your lifetime, it may not ever be fully understanding and accepting, but do not let the judgments and reactions of others shape how you will be in the world.

Do the work on yourself. Own your issues, take responsibility for them and problem-solve. That’s the only way we truly get what we want in life. Do not give up on a dream unless it’s no longer driving your heart.

Know what you want and say it loudly. Get clear on what makes you happy, not on what you think should make you happy or what others think should make you happy. Spend time in quiet, thinking and reflecting about what’s in your heart and beautiful brain.

Don’t tolerate unhappiness in relationships too long. Now I know relationships are a lot of work and you definitely have to commit to difficulties if you care about someone and want to be with them. But when everything feels like a struggle and you’re bickering and triggering one another a good percentage of the time, then do everyone a favor and split.

Enjoy the process. You think you’ll always be young and you’ll be in this transition forever. You won’t be. Life will change. You’ll get more responsibilities, go through significant challenges, and each stage of life comes with a chance to deepen your opportunities to love and be happy. Try to hold on to that wisdom with whatever the ride of life has you go through.

Resources

Affirmations for Confidently Living with a Disability 

Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation

Artwork photo by Elevate

First, how do you feel about the word interabled? Let me know at [email protected].

You see, 1-in-4 U.S. adults – or about 61 million Americans – have a disability according to the CDC. With mental illness and invisible disabilities on the rise, the statistics of people living with disabilities are probably greater. If you’re out there dating, the likelihood of having a partner with a disability is higher than it has ever been. If 1-in-4 people have a disability, it only makes sense that interabled dating and interabled relationships are normal and 

Things are beginning to change as we begin to break down the stereotypes in regards to interabled relationships. For example, Hannah Aylward and Shane Burcaw, who has a genetic disorder called spinal muscular atrophy, have a popular YouTube channel titled “Squirmy and Grubs.”

Stereotypes in Need of Further Deconstruction 

The burden myth - distribution of labor within a relationship is unique and ever-changing. Naturally, all couples support each other in many ways – physically, emotionally and spiritually.

A couple is a couple- consider seeking out insight from other couples of all abilities – able-bodied, interabled and disabled. 

Prioritize Self care - Not getting it right doesn’t mean not getting it at all - show grace 

Keep in mind that relationships are hard, maybe they aren’t that hard when you’re with the right person (who may or may not have a disability).

Why Interabled Relationships are the New Normal

Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation

Artwork photo by Elevate

September is often considered the other new year because nearly all of us have it ingrained within us that we begin new things in the fall from our school days. I recently heard this time of year is the most productive time for people. So why not take advantage of it in your dating life?

Four things to consider to help you gain more success in dating:

1. Decide to do things differently this year If you’ve been trying to date for a while and haven’t had much success, chances are you need to change up what you’re doing, along with your “dating mindset.” Maybe you need to join a new group (remember you can meet people virtually) or find a new way of communicating with others which may get you more welcomed responses.

2. Work on letting go of the fear of dating and meet people from a place of power If you’re human, you probably are at least a little intimidated by the thought of dating. And don’t even get me started on what people may think of your disability. But consider what may happen if you were able to let go of this fear of rejection and showed up exactly as you are, feeling confident and peaceful? Learn to be yourself with others, disability, and all. Letting go of the fear does not mean you don’t have it. The fear just doesn’t stop you.

3. Make more meaningful connections Often once you start to meet people and begin to get to know them, there’s a lot of foolish game playing. You’re probably left feeling like, “there’s no one good for me to date!” Awww, but there is. Learn how to develop your own personal dating “policies” or rules that cut out the game playing and lead you to more meaningful connections with people.

4. Develop a personal plan for the entire year to help you to TAKE ACTION for success So you’ve decided to do things differently, stop playing games, and make meaningful connections. Awesome, so now what? You need to create a step by step plan to help you stick to your commitment that things will be different for you this year. The best way to do this is with a specific plan to hold yourself accountable which can help you see the results you want.

 3, 2, 1 Dating Plan

Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation 
Artwork photo by Elevate

If you have been listening to the past couple episodes, you know we’ve been in a theme of looking at dating from a problem solving lens. Approaching dating with problem-solving skills can be a practical and thoughtful way to navigate the complexities of trying to put yourself out there, take risks, and manage the vulnerabilities that are inherent in dating.

Remember that dating is a dynamic process, and while problem-solving skills can be helpful, emotions, chemistry, and other intangibles also play a significant role. Balancing analytical thinking with emotional intelligence is key to successful dating.

Conversation Guide for Meeting People

3, 2, 1 Dating Plan

Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation 
Artwork photo by Elevate