Dating, Relationships, and Disability

Last episode we covered what to do when you’re experiencing dating burnout. I offered several strategies for what to do when you’re frustrated to the point of not feeling inspired at all to continue pursuits to find your person.

Today, I want to offer you some tactical strategies to try if you’re saying, yes, I’m frustrated, but I’m still all in, I want to figure this out.

Approaching dating with problem-solving skills can be a practical and thoughtful way to navigate the complexities of building relationships.

Download the Relationship Vision guide

Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation 
Artwork photo by Elevate

***Register here for a free workshop on Exactly HOW Do I Make Dating Easier? to learn three simple but actionable steps to make dating easier for you and get the results you want.***

Today we're diving into a topic that many of us can relate to – the burnout that can come from trying to navigate the world of dating. We've all been there, swiping left and right, going on countless dates, and sometimes feeling like we're hitting a wall. But fear not, because in this episode, we'll explore what causes dating burnout and share some practical strategies to help you recharge and approach dating in a healthier way.

Understanding Dating Burnout: To kick things off, let's talk about what dating burnout really is. Dating burnout occurs when the constant search for a partner, disappointment from failed connections, and the pressures of modern dating take a toll on our emotional well-being. It can leave us feeling exhausted, frustrated, and even questioning our self-worth. But remember, you're not alone in this experience.

Causes of Dating Burnout: It's important to recognize the factors that contribute to dating burnout. First, the endless swiping and messaging on dating apps can create a sense of emotional detachment – it's hard to form meaningful connections through a screen. Additionally, societal expectations and the fear of missing out (FOMO) can add unnecessary pressure to find the "perfect" partner. And let's not forget the disappointments that come with ghosting, mismatched expectations, and failed dates.

Signs You're Experiencing Burnout: Now, how can you tell if you're experiencing dating burnout? Look out for signs like a lack of enthusiasm for dating, feeling emotionally drained after interactions, and an overall negative attitude towards the process. If you're finding it difficult to manage your emotions and it's affecting your well-being, it's time to address the issue.

Strategies to Overcome Dating Burnout: First, it's crucial to take breaks when needed. Step away from the apps and give yourself time to recharge and reconnect with your own interests. Self-care isn't selfish; it's necessary.

Setting Realistic Expectations: Another strategy is to set realistic expectations. Understand that not every date will lead to a lifelong connection, and that's okay. Focus on enjoying the process and getting to know new people without putting unnecessary pressure on yourself or the situation.

Quality Over Quantity: Remember, it's about quality over quantity. Instead of going on a million dates, try to focus on building deeper connections with a few people who align with your values and interests. This can lead to more fulfilling interactions and potentially more meaningful relationships.

Seeking Support: And don't be afraid to seek support. Talk to friends, family, or even a therapist about your feelings. Sometimes, just sharing your experiences and emotions can provide immense relief and perspective.

Rediscovering Yourself: Lastly, use this time to rediscover yourself. Engage in activities you're passionate about, pursue hobbies, and invest in personal growth. Remember, a strong and fulfilled individual often attracts healthy and fulfilling relationships. As we wrap up today's episode, I want to remind you that experiencing dating burnout is normal, and you're not alone in this journey.

By taking breaks, setting realistic expectations, prioritizing quality connections, seeking support, and investing in yourself, you can overcome burnout and approach dating with a fresh perspective. Remember, your well-being is the top priority, and finding the right partner will happen when the time is right.

Happening TODAY on Exactly HOW Do I Make Dating Easier? You’ll come away with three important things that will make dating easier and leave you feeling more confident in dating. Register here.

Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation |
Artwork photo by Elevate

***Register here for a free workshop on Exactly HOW Do I Make Dating Easier? to learn three simple but actionable steps to make dating easier for you and get the results you want.***

Believe. Trust. Risk.

Those are my recommendations as you go out into the world and hopefully begin a.creating the life you want.

Believe. Trust. Risk.

These three factors are needed to be effective and successful in life. You have to believe in yourself, in possibilities, and even in a miracle here and there. You need that belief to trust your abilities, in the kindness of others and the twists and turns life will take you on. You have to believe and trust in order to take the risks in life that count.

By the way, I’m naturally not talking about foolish risks, but the risks that come from belief and trust and lead to a more full life. Let’s look at each of these.

Believe. First and foremost, you need to have your own back. Even when no one else does, you have to believe that your presence is needed in the world. You’re here to do something that only you can do. Who you are and what you do is needed in the world. Hold on to that belief with all you got.

That belief will carry you through days of doubt, nights of dread and worry, and dealing with others who clearly don’t believe in you. For me, that belief carried me through years of trying to build a career on my terms, enduring people who discriminated against me because of ableist attitudes, and wondering if dreams of having a family of my own would ever come true. When you have belief and trust in yourself, you can then take the risks that pay off big.

When I look back from my vantage point now, I realize that belief was trusting in the future.

That brings us to trust. You definitely have to believe yourself to form trust. Trust is the reliance on your character, ability, and strength. Trust is often built over time through consistent experiences, positive interactions, and a track record of dependability. Where belief in yourself may not take much time because it refers to the acceptance of something as true, trust develops over a period of time. It involves relying on someone or something based on a belief in their reliability and integrity through different experiences.

You learn to trust yourself more and more by showing up for yourself repeatedly. This looks like going to work on the days you don’t feel like it because you want to be a person who is responsible and reliable to yourself most. It looks like going after that dream of yours even when others don’t believe you can make it happen. And it looks like always checking in with yourself and doing what’s right for you, even though you may be the outsider. Trust in yourself, allow that trust to run deep over time. If you can’t rely on yourself, who can you rely on?

I can best describe what this looks like through examples. It was because I believed in myself and trusted my potential to be a good partner to someone that led me to tell a guy on our first date that I would like to get to know him - after he confessed that he was very uncomfortable being dating someone with a disability. For the whole story, listen to Episode 1. 

Risk.

Remember I said it’s not about taking foolish risks, but the risks that come from belief and trust and lead to a more full life. These are the risks you take when you have done the work to believe in and trust in yourself. We usually avoid taking risks to keep us safe. Now when we’re talking about our physical safety, avoiding risks can be a very good thing because it may keep us out of danger.

But when we’re afraid to reach more, pursue our dreams, or challenge ourselves to grow because we’re afraid of getting emotionally hurt or being rejected, that’s when we begin to limit our very own potential. To me this is one of the damaging things you can do to yourself and your life. Learn to take healthy risks. Risks that challenge you, may make you squirm with discomfort, but ultimately allow you to grow and become more the person you’re meant to be.

Another story from my life illustrates this. My entire life I wanted to be a mother. As a young girl I fed my dolls baby bottles and changed their diapers. As a teenager, I babysat on a regular basis for families in my neighborhood and loved every minute of it. I felt destined to be a mother. But I didn’t get married until I was 41 and not that being married is a requirement for parenting, but I knew I wanted a partner in the journey with me.

So at 41, the biological clock was not working in my favor. We tried, though. We had three miscarriages. I was devastated after the first one. I knew to get me out of my devastation, I had to focus on a solution. I began researching adoption. I was led to the idea of foster care, which to me was about one of the biggest risks of all - to open your heart and home to a child but have them ultimately leave. 

My husband and I took the risk. We took a one month old baby in our home and instantly into our hearts. Two months later there was a possibility he may be moved down south. There were months of worries, nerve racking court dates, and many meetings with the Department of Social Services. Every day we made the choice to risk our own hearts to give this baby the love he needed.

Fast forward. This is our son today. Being a parent has helped me grow as a person beyond what I could ever imagine. Several years from now, I hope you have your own unique story of believing, trusting, and risking. I promise it will lead you to the life that will fulfill you and bring you happiness. 

Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation |
Artwork photo by Elevate

***Register here for a free workshop on Exactly HOW Do I Make Dating Easier? to learn three simple but actionable steps to make dating easier for you and get the results you want.***

We continue to conversation with Pauline Bosma and Oscar Hughes of the Rainbow Support Group. We talk about what true acceptance looks like for someone in the LGBTQ community. Pauline shares about her story of lack of acceptance from her family and her decision to build a family that would support her - that's a lesson to learn from.

We also discuss the answers they received when they as the following questions for their Rainbow Support Guidebook.

Is there anyone in your life who does not accept you? How do you know they do not accept you?

Is there anything that is hard about being an LGBTQ+ person with a disability? What is hard?

What are some ways that a person’s identities (for example, age, race, location) impact their experiences as an LGBTQ+ person with an intellectual and developmental disability?

We also talk about what they think society can change do to be more open to seeing people with disabilities as part of the LGBTQ community.

How  society begin to see people with disabilities more as dating and relationships partners.

Their most helpful advice you can give for someone with a disability and part of the LGBTQ community in search of dating success and healthy relationships.

Resources

The Rainbow Support Group

Rainbow Support Group Guidebook

Pauline's YouTube playlist

Contact Pauline and Oscar here

Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation |
Artwork photo by Elevate

Pauline Bosma is the founder and coordinator of the Rainbow Support Groups, a network of support groups for LGBTQ+ people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Pauline works for Massachusetts Advocates Standing Strong, where she also leads sex education webinars and trains people with disabilities to respond to and report abuse.

Oscar Hughes is a PhD student in special education at Boston University. He collaborates with LGBTQ+ adults with intellectual and/or developmental disabilities to create resources that support gender and sexual expression. He also works as the assistant to the Rainbow Support Groups and as a sexuality education trainer for Elevatus Training.

We chat about the following:

What is your background or personal experience in the area of dating, relationships, and disabilities?

Resources

The Rainbow Support Group

Rainbow Support Group Guidebook

Contact Pauline and Oscar here

Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation |
Artwork photo by Elevate

We’re nearing the end of Disability Pride Month and I have to share an experience I had in trying to celebrate it. Unfortunately, it points to misperceptions about how people define Disability Pride. The definition I use is as follows: Disability Pride Month is celebrated every July and is an opportunity to honor the history, achievements, experiences, and struggles of the disability community. It is celebrated in July to mark the anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act, landmark legislation that broke down barriers to inclusion in society. From the national Arc website.

From the Ameridisability.com site, they state: Disability pride is defined as accepting and honoring each person’s uniqueness, and seeing it as a natural and beautiful part of human diversity. Disability pride is an integral part of an inclusive crusade and, furthermore, a direct challenge to systemic ableism and stigmatizing definitions of disability.

In preparing some content for a weekly reflection on Disability Pride in the month of July, I included a story of parents neglecting their son to the point of death because I felt it was important to represent the struggle that many people with disabilities continue to endure. I believe if you really want to know Disability Pride, you need to also know the struggles we have endured and continue to endure. And of course this is an important element of dating, nurturing relationships, and fostering true intimacy. I was told no because it would be too distressing for people, mostly nondisabled people, to hear.

I feel strongly that an important element of any Disability Pride or awareness needs to include talking about the ongoing struggle that most people with disabilities face on a daily basis, even if that “distresses” able bodied people. I am disturbed by the message of “your lives and experiences are too hard to listen to.” I expect more empathy and understanding from people who say they want to hear about Disability Pride.

I believe that to just include “successes” of disabled people sends an ableist message that one can only be celebrated if they “overcome” (a word I detest) their disability. And if you’re starved to death and have bed sores so deep, they go to the bone, that can’t be talked about as a reality that happens daily to people. With this approach, it is not true Disability Pride or awareness.

I realize I’m using strong language but I feel strongly about this issue and with all due respect, I believe no nondisabled people should be making decisions about the content of anything about disability. Would we assume that for the Black or LGBTQ experience?

I hope that your view of Disability Pride includes the ongoing struggles of the disabled. The struggles are an important piece of our pride. Look at what we have and continue to endure. When it comes to dating and relationships, the collective and individual struggles we face with ableism instill in us perseverance, compassion, and determination to create a better future. Never underestimate how important these qualities are in developing meaningful and loving relationships.

Thank you so much for listening to this. I know I got on my soapbox a bit, but I hope it can help you look at how your struggle intermingles with your sense of pride.

Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation 
Artwork photo by Elevate

Body shame is one the hardest things that impacts dating with a disability. People REALLY don’t like to talk about it.

There’s a particular type of body shame for people with disabilities. It involves feeling negative about yourself that is then connected to shame about how your disability affects your mind and body.

Body shame is a belief that there is something inherently wrong with your body or mind that needs to be fixed. This can get manifested through a lack of self-confidence, negative self-talk, and limiting beliefs. This is especially true in dating and relationships. Oh, if I were only prettier, if I were only thinner, if I only knew how to talk to people. Think of all the ways we think about what we need to be better at before we can be successful at for another human to love you in that “special” way, at least that’s what your brain tells you.

Not everyone may feel shame, but a lot of people with disabilities do.

If you’re living with a disability, body shame can cause you to believe that just because of the nature of a disability, you are set apart from other people. This then affects overall self-esteem and confidence when dating and trying to meet people.

It’s important to remember how easily media (including social) can trigger negativity about your body. If you listen to ads, believe all Facebook post, or go to almost any movie, it can do a number on your self-esteem and confidence. A lot of messages about what’s beautiful STILL doesn’t include disability. These messages can cause you to feel your difference is a source of shame or a negative body image.

So how do you possess a positive body image? It’s so key to having a healthy sense of sexuality because the better you feel about yourself, the more you will seek love and relationships for the right reasons.

It may seem counterintuitive, but you develop a positive body image by acknowledging your shame. What are the areas you don’t feel so good about yourself? By communicating about the negativity you feel about your body actually helps reduce the intensity of shame because you’re bringing it to light. It’s when we keep it a secret and keep it buried within us that it grows bigger and bigger.

Healing body shame is about honoring your difference, how your muscles move, different facial features, your spasms and differences in movement, and how you may process differently. Honoring these as natural parts of yourself make you attractive. We all have the ability to attract people to us by focusing on the positive in ourselves and how your body is different can be very attractive.

We are never born with shame. No babies can feel shame. Shame is something we acquire along the way. Because we acquire it, we can always give it back to where it came from and not have to live with the doubt and anxiety it instills.

Healthy Sexuality and Relationships for People with Disabilities

Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation |
Artwork photo by Elevate

Did you know the month of July, which is when this publishes is Disability Pride month? Disability Pride Month is intended to honor the history, achievements, experiences, and struggles of the disability community. I would like to do this through the lens of  dating and relationships for people with disabilities.As we celebrate Disability Pride Month this July, it's essential to recognize the significance of fostering inclusivity, understanding, and empathy within the realm of romantic connections. So let's explore this further!

To begin, let's talk about why Disability Pride Month holds such importance. It's celebrated every July to commemorate the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), a landmark piece of legislation that was signed into law on July 26, 1990. The ADA aimed to dismantle barriers and ensure equal rights and opportunities for people with disabilities. This act represented a major step forward in promoting inclusivity and accessibility in all aspects of life.

When it comes to dating and relationships, understanding the history and struggles of the disability community is fundamental in building meaningful connections. By honoring this history, we acknowledge the resilience and strength of individuals who have faced countless challenges throughout the years. Recognizing their experiences and struggles fosters empathy, compassion, and a deeper understanding of the unique perspectives they bring to the table.

It's also important to celebrate the achievements of the disability community. People with disabilities have made significant contributions to various fields, including arts, sciences, sports, technology, and advocacy. By acknowledging these accomplishments, we challenge preconceived notions and stereotypes surrounding disability. It helps us shift our focus from limitations to the vast potential and talents that individuals with disabilities possess.

When it comes to dating and relationships, embracing the achievements of the disability community can empower individuals with disabilities to pursue fulfilling connections. It promotes self-confidence and a sense of pride, demonstrating that disability does not define one's worth or ability to love and be loved.

Now, let's talk about experiences. Every person, regardless of ability, brings their unique experiences to relationships. For individuals with disabilities, these experiences often encompass navigating inaccessible environments, facing societal stigma, and encountering barriers to education, employment, and healthcare. By acknowledging and empathizing with these experiences, we create an environment of understanding and acceptance in dating and relationships.

When someone with a disability feels understood and supported in their experiences, it fosters a stronger connection with their partner. It shows that their experiences are valid and that their perspectives are valued. It opens the doors for open and honest conversations about the challenges they face, while also creating opportunities to celebrate their resilience and adaptability.

Lastly, let's discuss the struggles faced by the disability community. These struggles can range from physical limitations to social exclusion, from inaccessible infrastructure to employment discrimination. When we acknowledge and honor these struggles, we demonstrate solidarity and a commitment to creating a more inclusive society.

In the realm of dating and relationships, understanding the struggles faced by people with disabilities is crucial in providing the support and encouragement needed for a healthy and fulfilling partnership. It means being aware of the unique challenges they may encounter and actively working to remove barriers and promote accessibility in all aspects of the relationship.

Ultimately, honoring the history, achievements, experiences, and struggles of the disability community in dating and relationships is about creating a culture of inclusivity, respect, and understanding. It's about recognizing the value and worth of every individual, regardless of their abilities. By doing so, we foster relationships that are based on equality, empathy, and shared experiences, leading to deeper connections and a more harmonious society as a whole.

I hope this discussion has shed light on the importance of honoring the disability community in the context of dating and relationships. Remember, Disability Pride Month is an opportunity for all of us to learn, grow, and celebrate the diverse perspectives and experiences of individuals with disabilities. 

Where Do We Go From Here? 

Here’s my challenge for you. Something to noodle on. How can you bring your own history, achievements, experiences, and struggles of being disabled into your dating and relationship journey to demonstrate your own version of Disability Pride?

Resources 

If you’re listening to this the day it publishes, Happy Fourth of July if you live in the States. When we think of July Fourth, two words most commonly come to mind: independence and freedom. I want to talk about the latter today, especially in regards to dating. As I work with people on having courage and confidence to date, especially in our membership, Dating Made Easier, I’m reminded of all the ways freedom plays a role in dating. The freedom I’m talking about is mostly the freedom we give ourselves.

In coaching and teaching people, especially people with disabilities, on the social and emotional skills needed for dating and relationship success, I’m reminded of how for a very long time I was not free. I was held back by a lot of fear and concern about what people thought of me and my disability in the dating scene.

Today I want to share with you the freedoms that I wish for you in dating that I denied myself for years. When I finally gave myself these freedoms, like magic, my husband came into my life. But…it wasn’t magic at all. It was me realizing how much my thinking and belief system was ultimately the biggest barrier to me getting what I wanted.

As I go through these freedoms, I encourage you to ask yourself “Is this a freedom I need to give myself?” As you mull that over, also ask yourself, “Is this something I’m waiting for others to give me permission to do or believe?” I think in my case I was silently seeking permission for these freedoms from every guy I dated or was interested in. Don’t do that. Don’t wait for others to give you permission to be the person you long to be. If you do, you’ll be waiting a long time.

I wish for you freedom to not care about making others comfortable with your disability. News flash, they won’t be, at least not at first. That’s okay. It’s not about you.  It’s just something their brain and their heart hasn’t wrapped itself around. Your comfort with yourself and your disability will be their greatest guide.

I wish for you freedom to see yourself as a desirable partner and to focus on all the amazing qualities that make you that way. For way too long I was focused on imagining the barriers that potential dates saw in me, mainly because of my disability. This only left me feeling unattractive and lonely. It was when I placed my energies on my strengths that others saw that too.

I wish for you freedom to not be so intimidated by rejection. Rejection is a fact of life, my friends. This is doubly true in dating and relationships. I spent so many years alone because I was just so afraid of the hurt that accompanies rejection. Yes rejection definitely hurts and no one wants to experience it, but when we go through life trying to protect ourselves from the pain of rejection, we’re not taking the risks to really be alive and pursue the life we long for. The pain of denying yourself your own dreams is much worse than any rejection.

My next freedom wish for you is connected to rejection. It’s the freedom to take risks. We usually avoid taking risks to keep us safe. Now when we’re talking about our physical safety, avoiding risks can be a very good thing because it may keep us out of danger. But when we’re afraid to reach more, pursue our dreams, or challenge ourselves to grow because we’re afraid of getting emotionally hurt or being rejected, that’s when we begin to limit our very own potential. To me this is one of the damaging things you can do to yourself and you life.

Lastly, I wish for you freedom to unapologetically be yourself and to trust that if they don’t get that, they’re simply not your people and you would be very unhappy if you ended up with them. Most of us learn this the hard way by getting into relationships that dissolve into regular fights, constant disappointment, and misery that slowly eats away at our peace of mind.

There you go. The freedom to not care about the comfort of others about your disability, to see yourself as a desirable partner, to not be so intimidated by rejection, to take risks, and unapologetically be yourself. Those are the freedoms I wish for you, my friend.

If you feel you need support and encouragement in discovering these freedoms for yourself, I invite you to join us inside Dating Made Easier, to get the support and coaching from me and the community of others to get the results you want in dating and relationships. Just go to RadiantAbilities.com and check out the membership info.

Resources

Check out our Dating Memberships

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Today we're diving into a topic that many of us have experienced on online platforms: ghosting. We'll explore how hurtful it can be and share some strategies for getting over it.  Here's an email I recently received about being ghosted:

Dear Kathy, dear Radiant Abilities Team,

I found your site through Google while looking up resources regarding Ghosting and relationships and first of all I want to say I’m really happy to see there are people like you and your team who care about giving disabled people help and more visibility. I’m disabled myself and even if I feel the acknowledgment and care for people with one got better in recent years, some aspects of living with a disability still feel like glossed over and it's heartwarming to see that there are people who seem to genuinely care to help here. I'm reaching out to you from Germany because I've been ghosted by someone very dear to me.

To this man and all of you, I say this woman who ghosted you helped you identify something within yourself. She excavated it for you but all these positive qualities you’re now feeling have always been within you, waiting to come out. They belong to you, completely independent of her presence in your life.

Let’s move on to the strategy of self care. Self-care is crucial during times like these. Instead of internalizing the ghosting as a reflection of self worth, remind yourself that ghosting says more about the other person's inability to communicate than about you. It's important not to take it personally. Journaling your thoughts and feelings to be therapeutic and allowed you to process emotions and gain clarity.

Engage in activities you enjoy as a way of getting your mind off of the ghosting experience, even if you need to go through the motions. And lastly, get support from people who love and support you - and who will always be there for you. Closure doesn't always come from external sources and happiness should not be dependent on someone else's actions. Create closure for yourself by either saying or writing what you would say to the person as a goodbye.

Ghosting is a reflection of the other person's behavior, not your value. Take the time to heal, focus on yourself, and maintain a positive outlook. Most importantly, don't let past experiences hinder your future chances at finding love and connection. Keep an open mind and believe that the right person will come into your life at the right time.

Resources

Use this Rejection Survival Guide to see rejection in a new way so that it doesn't crush you and you may even learn and grow from it.

Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.