Dating, Relationships, and Disability

Registration Link

Registration Fee: $10

Stop exhausting yourself trying to manage everyone else's comfort level in dating. This transformative  workshop applies Mel Robbins' revolutionary "Let Them Theory" to dating with disability, teaching you how to preserve your emotional energy for people who actually deserve it. Instead of constantly educating, anticipating concerns, and managing reactions, you'll learn to let potential partners reveal their true character while you focus on building unshakeable confidence in your own worth. This isn't about lowering your standards—it's about raising them so high that only people genuinely ready for authentic partnership can meet them.

✓ How to let people reveal their true character through their authentic response to your disability, gathering crucial compatibility information without exhausting yourself

✓ The mindset shift that preserves your emotional energy for people who demonstrate genuine acceptance and curiosity rather than judgment

✓ How to build worth that doesn't depend on others' recognition and let people miss out while you cultivate unshakeable self-confidence

✓ The strategy for letting others handle their own discomfort with difference, identifying who can grow versus who expects you to minimize yourself

✓ How to identify genuine capacity for growth and learning in potential partners without micromanaging their education process

✓ The approach to intimacy and relationships that lets partners come to their own conclusions about connection with you

✓ How to create space for people ready for real partnership by letting those who aren't equipped remove themselves naturally

✓ The framework for redirecting mental energy toward your own relationship goals while others reveal their authentic selves

• Complete 30-minute workshop recording - Watch anytime, rewatch as needed

• Downloadable presentation slides - Reference key concepts and takeaways 

• Reflection worksheet - Identify your relationship values and boundaries 

Submit your question, dilemma, or challenge related to dating here and I'll answer it anonymously in a podcast.

Stop managing others' comfort with your disability. Let potential partners show who they are through authentic reactions. If someone is uncomfortable, dismissive, or makes thoughtless comments, let them reveal this incompatibility while you preserve energy for those who demonstrate genuine acceptance.

Rather than convincing others of your value, let people operate from their limited perspectives while you cultivate unshakeable self-worth. When someone can't see past disability to recognize your full humanity, let them reveal their narrow worldview while you focus on building genuine confidence.

Instead of rushing to make others comfortable around disability, let them sit with their awkwardness. Allow people to voice concerns, ask questions, and learn to navigate difference rather than managing their emotional state. This reveals who can grow versus who expects you to minimize yourself.

Stop micromanaging others' learning about disability and accessibility. Let potential partners demonstrate initiative in understanding your needs, researching adaptive equipment, and creating inclusive environments. You'll quickly see who has genuine interest versus who expects you to do all emotional labor.

Don't overcompensate to prove your sexuality or relationship readiness. Let people express their actual thoughts about disabled people's intimate lives so you can address misconceptions directly or recognize incompatibility.

If someone isn't equipped for a relationship including disability considerations, let them remove themselves rather than minimizing your needs. This creates space for people genuinely ready for authentic partnership.

Redirect energy from controlling others' perceptions toward your own growth, communication skills, and relationship values.

Thoughts on Becoming the Partner You Long to Be

Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation

Artwork photo by Elevate

Today on the show, Violet Lange, a relationship coach, introduces The Goldilocks Method to dating. Violet overcame trauma and a difficult divorce to find lasting love. She has a deaf daughter with cochlear implants and combines practical strategies with spiritual approaches to dating.

Embodiment Practice: Place one hand on heart, one on belly, breathe, and say "I am safe, I am loved, I belong." This breaks mental loops and grounds you in your body.

Overcome Fear of Abandonment: Be 100% committed to yourself. Test potential partners early with your truth, needs, and boundaries rather than hiding them. Say "I will never abandon myself."

Break Stuck Patterns:

Use Effective Boundaries:

Appreciate good qualities in people who aren't quite right. Think of relationships like pizza - you can have everything you want, but proportions may vary. Focus on whether core needs are met.

The Settling Paradox: The more you feel you need to settle, the lower quality matches you'll attract. Be clear and specific about what you want. Believe you're worthy of having it.

Essential Principles:

Contact Violet: [email protected]

Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation

Artwork photo by Elevate

Register here for Upcoming Dating Workshop, Authentic Dating Success Path: 5 Stages to Confidence and Connection on July 9, 6:30pm EDT via zoom.

July marks Disability Pride Month, commemorating the signing of the Americans with Disabilities Act in 1990. The month celebrates achievements of people with disabilities, raises awareness about disability rights, promotes inclusion and accessibility, and honors the community's history and struggles. A key insight is that how you view your disability typically influences how others perceive it.

Four key principles for incorporating disability pride into dating:

The most important principle is to "come out disabled" - showing up as your complete, authentic self. This process is compared to the LGBTQ+ coming out experience, emphasizing the importance of embracing who you are, accepting that some people will reject differences, but ultimately attracting the right people who accept you fully. Meeting dates in person early is recommended to show the "full effect" of who you are, disability and all.

The primary message: how you view your disability usually determines how others will view it. Transform the concept of disability from a barrier into a natural part of who you are and what you offer to relationships.

Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation

Artwork photo by Elevate

Register here for Upcoming Dating Workshop, Authentic Dating Success Path: 5 Stages to Confidence and Connection on July 9, 6:30pm EDT via zoom.

Dorsey Ross from Westchester, PA has Apert syndrome, a birth defect affecting his hands and face. He's undergone 68 operations throughout his lifetime and hosts "The Dorsey Ross Show" podcast. His motto: "can't" is not in his vocabulary.

Dorsey has never had a serious dating relationship beyond high school. He believes people are resistant to dating someone with a disability due to concerns about social judgment and health implications. He's tried online dating and meeting people through friends but struggled with fear of rejection.

He wants someone who will love him for who he is and appreciate the value he brings—his smile, personality, and activities. He seeks authentic connections where partners support each other through good times and bad, showing genuine engagement and care.

Dorsey admits being afraid to pursue relationships due to fear of rejection and losing friendships. Kathy coaches him to take chances even without knowing someone's feelings, suggesting he assume positive rather than negative outcomes.

Partners would need to understand that people might stare or make inappropriate comments when they're together. Dorsey advises focusing on supportive people rather than negative reactions and being confident despite judgment.

For people with visible differences: be confident in your personality and what you offer. Don't worry about others' judgments. He encourages introducing yourself to new people and reminds listeners with disabilities that they're not alone in seeking relationships.

Connect with Dorsey on Instagram

Follow Dorsey on Facebook

Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation

Artwork photo by Elevate

Dating confidence comes down to what you believe about yourself and your potential as a partner. Beliefs about yourself help you feel more positive and successful, because whatever you think about yourself gives off energy for how others think of you.

The transformation involves moving from "Hopeless, frustrated, devalued" to "a knowing of your worth and what you have to offer."

Research distinguishes between "contingent self-esteem" and "genuine self-esteem." Contingent self-esteem relies on external validation—likes, approval from others—while genuine self-esteem is unwavering and consistent.

You do not need to search outside yourself to feel worthy. You have value and are enough just because you are.

1. Self-Awareness and Recognition - Foster deeper understanding through comprehensive self-awareness and genuine acceptance of your authentic identity.

2. Transforming Your Internal Narrative - Be mindful of the value you bring. Reinforce yourself for accomplishments without waiting for external praise.

3. Challenging Negative Core Beliefs - Your brain is always listening. Look for evidence that counters negative beliefs rather than only seeking confirmation of them.

Download the 5 Beliefs for Successful Dating

Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation

Artwork photo by Elevate

Relationship expert Chaya (Jaya Sarah Garcia) shares insights about dating and relationships, particularly for people with disabilities. Chaya, a social worker who can be found on social media as @epicloveexpert, has dedicated her career to helping "super sweet souls" transform their love lives from ordinary to epic. Her mission centers on providing education about relationship behaviors, helping people distinguish between partners who are simply nice versus those who are emotionally available and ready for commitment.

Chaya's cornerstone principle revolves around "dating by design, not by default." She explained how many people approach dating casually—attracted to someone cute who makes them feel good, then hoping things work out. Instead, she advocates for intentional dating that begins with deep self-knowledge. This involves understanding your feelings, nervous system, and intuition while building a trusting, loving relationship with yourself. When you stop hurting yourself through criticism, unhealthy habits, or negative self-talk, you create the foundation for attracting healthy love.

When addressing dating with disabilities, Chaya offered a powerful reframe: don't define yourself by your disability, but by your abilities. She pointed out that everyone—disabled or not—struggles with feelings of inadequacy, whether it's being "too old, too fat, divorced twice, or having kids." The key lies in redefining your identity around strengths and positive traits rather than perceived flaws. True self-worth, she emphasized, comes from seeing yourself through a spiritual lens—as God sees you—recognizing that you're worthy of love not for what you can do or how you look, but for who you truly are.

Chaya shared one of her most impactful insights: "We do not attract what we want, we attract who we are." This principle applies universally, regardless of disability status. If you focus on your negatives, criticize yourself, and see yourself as weak or disabled rather than strong and able, you'll attract someone who mirrors that energy. However, when you genuinely focus on your positives and treat yourself with love and respect, you become magnetic to someone who will appreciate and amplify those qualities. She encouraged listeners to become "the king or queen of your own castle," being selective about who enters your life.

For those feeling physically isolated, Chaya offered a compassionate but practical roadmap. It begins with genuine desire—you must truly want partnership enough to take action. Next comes problem-solving: asking family or service providers about options for getting out weekly or bringing people to you, and surveying what social opportunities exist within a reasonable radius. She acknowledged that options may be limited but emphasized that "no one's stuck," noting that even able-bodied people face similar challenges in meeting compatible partners.

When relationships do develop, Chaya advocates for radical honesty without shame. Using her own ADHD as an example, she shared how she communicates openly with her husband about interrupting and her chaotic tendencies. She suggests writing down your strengths and weaknesses, then sharing them matter-of-factly. This creates opportunities for true partnership where people can support each other's challenges and celebrate each other's gifts.

For those discouraged by previous dating disappointments, Chaya offered hope grounded in personal transformation. She reminded listeners that the love they deserve doesn't change based on past experiences, and urged them not to let previous hurt predict their future. Instead of fearing others hurting you again, she suggested focusing on not hurting yourself through self-criticism or negative self-perception. When you change your beliefs about yourself, you develop better awareness and trust in your ability to walk away from unsuitable partners while attracting those who match your healthier vibration.

Marriedin2025.com, where visitors can access videos and PDFs with dating advice.

Instagram and Facebook at @epicloveexpert, welcoming messages from those ready to transform their relationships "from zero to epic."

Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation

Artwork photo by Elevate

Research shows that 36% of LGBTQ+ adults report having a disability, compared to 24% of non-LGBTQ+ adults. Among transgender adults, this figure rises to 52%. This creates a "minority within a minority" situation where individuals face compounding discrimination from both communities.

Dating apps often perpetuate ableism and normative ideas about sexuality and gender rather than serving as neutral spaces. LGBTQ+ people with disabilities face unique barriers around disclosure timing, accessibility features, and higher harassment rates—with 69% of LGBT online daters experiencing harassment compared to 52% of straight users.

Being at this intersection significantly increases risks for poor mental health outcomes. The Trevor Project found 67% of LGBTQ+ youth report anxiety symptoms and 54% report depression, with additional challenges for those in rural communities.

Specialized platforms like "Dateability" are emerging, with 48% of users identifying as queer. Dating apps are evolving beyond matchmaking to include community-building features, local events, and social connections that help users form both romantic and platonic relationships.

Successful platforms incorporate accessibility features like text-to-speech, keyboard navigation, and multiple communication channels. They offer identity-first language options, privacy controls for selective disclosure, and robust reporting systems. Education initiatives and partnerships with disability and LGBTQ+ organizations help create safer, more inclusive environments.

As dating increasingly moves online, ensuring these spaces are accessible, safe, and affirming becomes crucial for this doubly marginalized community.

Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation

Artwork photo by Elevate

Tina Fegley and Tyler Waldman who met on a dating app called Dateability, a platform specifically designed for inclusive dating, share their story on today's podcast.

Tina and Tyler will be special guests inside the Dating Made Easier community in June. Join here to get in on the conversation.

Tina and Tyler both found mainstream dating apps frustrating—she'd face awkward reactions when mentioning her wheelchair, while he struggled with when and how to discuss his epilepsy. After discovering each other on Dateability over a year ago, they've built a strong relationship that spans the hour between their cities, with weekends spent traveling back and forth to see each other. What began as two people tired of having to constantly explain or justify their disabilities has blossomed into a genuine connection where they can simply be themselves, understanding each other's needs naturally without making them the focus of their relationship.

Dating Challenges:

Relationship Dynamics:

Advice for Others:

Relationship Growth:

Tina and Tyler were also featured in People.

Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation

Artwork photo by Elevate

Our next workshop is June 4 on Dating, Rejection, and Disability: Finding Resilience and Connection. Register here for just $10.

Summer transforms dating for people with disabilities by reducing weather barriers and improving accessibility. Outdoor venues offer more space and flexibility than cramped indoor locations, while warmer weather eliminates the complications of heavy winter gear and icy conditions.

Open-air environments provide relief from indoor challenges like tight spaces, poor acoustics, and difficult lighting. Lakeside paths, accessible parks, and community gardens become ideal first-date locations where you can focus on building connections rather than navigating environmental obstacles.

Summer brings festivals, outdoor concerts, farmers markets, and community events with increasing accessibility features. These diverse options eliminate the "nothing to do" problem while offering natural meeting opportunities with people who share your interests.

Summer's collective mood boost works in your favor. People become more open, patient, and willing to connect authentically when experiencing seasonal positivity. This creates ideal conditions for meaningful relationships that appreciate all aspects of who you are.

Summer provides the perfect natural rhythm for relationships to develop gradually and authentically.

Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation

Artwork photo by Elevate