Dead Horse

Those Freaky Foals are Likin' Those Lycans!! Sorry. It's a prequel and Michael Sheen and Bill Nighy are featured prominently and Dixon and PJ had a fun time but basically Becky's not sure so they talk about it and what not for some of the episode and stuff, and also PJ knows some facts about movies. Makeup FX and production design legend Patrick Tatopoulos slides into the director's chair, series creator Kevin Grevioux returns to the supporting cast, and Michael Sheen gets boned on a cliff. I hope your having a good day thank's for reading all of this :) Hey

This week, writer, comedian, and filmmaker Emmett Crockett joins the horses to painstakingly pore over 2006's UNDERWORLD: EVOLUTION! Will they like it? Yeah 

We're back and more back than ever! DEAD HORSE returns for season two and kicks things off with either a bang, a sort of affirmative "ehh, I liked it" kind of noise, or an "ehh" noise a lot like the last one but a bit more depressed-sounding depending on which of the three hosts you ask. That's right folks-- it's UNDERWORLD! 

HO HO HORSE! The Merry Mares take a magical yuletide adventure into right-wing evangelical ideology, straight from the mind of their new pal, former child star turned megachurch pastor and all-around regular guy, Kirk Cameron! Is this a movie? Haha :--) Fascism degree factory Liberty University Film Department's best and brightest bring us Kirk's carbound lecture to his brother-in-law, a ticking time bomb named Christian. The holy purpose of being an obedient consumer! Knowingly re-appropriating Pagan imagery and holidays to mean whatever you can bend your lil mind to! Santa, the ass-whooping free speech warrior for Christ! Rich butter! 

Much like how it is in real life, Turkeys are these Horses' only natural predator. Becky, Dixon, and PJ are bullied, confounded, and perhaps beaten by 2013's inane animated comedy Free Birds, a movie in which still images appear in sequence at a high speed that dupes one's brain into perceiving motion. A character says "good talk" after a talk that doesn't go well, which is pretty funny,

Dixon, Becky and PJ arise from self-imposed slumber to record themselves shifting from a positive attitude to a deeply negative one about DRACULA 2000 over the course of one single hour! By episodes end, the horses find themselves drained by Drac 2k, a half-goth mishmash of bad and bizarre ideas executed with a minimum of flair. So we're gonna take another month long break. Bye!! 

The Horses ride (briefly!) into the sunset on a suspiciously high note-- that's right folks, DEEP BLUE SEA 3 is... a good movie. No one is more surprised than us. We're taking a little hiatus so's we can have some lives, but expect us back with more guests, more horses, and more completely audible instances of Becky's chair breaking this Fall!  

Deep beneath the roiling waves of the pacific, our sharpest minds have been performing ghastly, unethical experiments on one of nature's most fierce and intellignet specimens for decades-- but it'll all be worth it if they can come up with a cure for the greatest scourge mankind has faced in its brief collective lifetime: Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. The Horses dive into Deep Blue Sea 2 and discover it to be deeper, bluer, and sporting a hat even more like a shark fin than its predecessor! 

Pray to your god, make friends with a bird, violate the Harvard Compact, and chuck a European of indeterminate origin at a big window, because the Horses are diving into the chum-filled waters of DEEP BLUE SEA! We dissect 1999's sorta-smash-hit celebration of sharks and shark-adjacent science, and wonder aloud why Janice Soprano got blown up so quick. For 60ish minutes you'll hear what it's like not to be damned. 

The Horses are here to tell you, without reservation, that Honey Four RULES. The fourth and final entry in the series represents something of a weird, buried artifact; it was hardly marketed (or even documented) whatsoever-- but WHY? Teyana Taylor makes a case for herself as not just a solid actor but a bona fide movie star, and the Horses get to deliver their rare unqualified rave of a movie. Honey 4 whips ass and art is everywhere!