Overcoming Mommy Guilt (Scroll ALL THE WAY DOWN to get to the player)

We’ve all done it – you know thinking we are not good enough or it is all our fault. Where did I go wrong – what could I have done differently –

I was filled with my own self importance, my own skill set – my own…well, degree! I had an education degree in Early Childhood, Elementary Ed and Specific Learning Disabilities – I was degreed for K-12 I was all set, right?

Along came Neal, this beautiful bundle of joy – and he was the first and most perfect baby. He slept well and for hours, he barely cried, he nursed really well. In fact, I thought he was the easiest child ever! And, compared to my other four he was a very easy baby…

But fast forward and let me tell you I began to second guess every decision  because the experts began to weigh in.

Well meaning family members, friends, the lady next door – everyone was an expert!

I began listening to my friends talk about their kids and their parenting methods were all over the board from the way permissive to the super, super strict—train up a child and that is the way he will grow crowd and don’t spare the rod crowd.

While I was very comfortably somewhere in between I began to realize that moms in general were a mess –

They were threading water – barely surviving.

Friends – if you hear nothing else I say …please hear this. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT – Let me repeat that – IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

– after all as Christians aren’t we heirs of the KINGDOM isn’t GOD OUR FATHER? Didn’t God promise not to forsake us but to send HIS spirit to guide us?

I understand you are on overload – I understand your child may be lost – and you know what? God has given us and them free will…

We can not mold our children in our image – however we can introduce them to the Almighty God

And we often preach to the choir – we ask our children to do the heavy lifting – to demonstrate to us God’s love and to show us they really understand.

We can see their walk with the Lord in the fruit they demonstrate

And if we don’t like that fruit – guess what? It is up to us to pray. And we pray – God do this and this and this – NO – we need to pray YOUR WILL LORD NOT MINE

God did not give us a spirit of fear New International Version 2Timothy 1:7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or …

Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will neverleave you nor forsake you. …. and hope; unto us is this gospel preached, as well as unto them; he will never fail thee, nor forsake thee, Heb 13:5.

Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit

Do Not Worry (Luke 12:22-34) 25 Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air: They do not sow or reap or gather into barns—and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his lifespan? 28And why do you worry about clothes? Consider how the lilies of the field grow: They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his glory was adorned like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?31Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans pursue all these things, and your Heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own.

It is not your fault. It really isn’t

Let me tell you a true story. I was praying to the Lord about a situation that was really outside of my control. I was apologizing to Him for something I felt was really a lack of  faith. Then I felt the Lord answer my prayer with clarity – but the answer was very compelling, the Lord basically said, “Do you really think you have that much power?”

Wow. Just wow!

Sometimes friends we take on the burden of fault when it does not lie on our shoulders. We allow our child – in point 3 above to get off with a “free” card.

We are not responsible for someone eles’s free will decision – sometimes our children need to fall in order for the Lord to minister to them where they are – even if it feels like the entire world is falling in around  your shoulders.

We fix everything from the time they are little to the time they are big – and when we can’t we get overwhelmed. We just can’t do it anymore!

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