Dealing With My Grief

This episode in dedicated to the memory of my cousin, Chris.

Last week Facebook brought up a memory in the form of a picture of me with chipped teeth when I was about 12 or 13. I had chipped my teeth playing a game with my friends.

The pain of the fall I took didn't last long but eating or drinking was difficult to say the least as I would get a crazy sensation that would run through my mouth.

Dealing with this grief is much like that pain I felt. Much like I had to endure some pain in order to eat, I could develop some strategies to make it hurt less. I had to do the same thing with my grief... develop strategies to help the loss hurt less while realizing it wouldn't completely go away.

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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief

Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

No into/outro music today... Just the bare bone basics to produce this podcast.

Why?... Because a listener wanted to know how to get back to "normal" after grief. What is the new structure of life or their day going to look like.

Sometimes we don't need to put on the window dressing to mask how we feel in our grief. It's not essential to who we are and how we really feel. So I used no music in the podcast today to illustrate that point. While the structure of the podcast is different. the overall message is the same. In grief we feel pain regardless of what face we wear in public our how bubbly we attempt to sound when dealing with others.

We don't always need to fit into some one else's expectation of who we should become after our grief.

Just be you... whomever, you are in your grief. Just remember to take time to take care of yourself. Even if you take care of other's physical needs, work on your emotional needs first before reaching out to others... you can't help others if you dont't help yourself first.

Question... How do you feel whem people tell you you look like your deceased loved one. I often want to tell people this but I don't know how it would make them feel. Send me an email at [email protected] or leave me a voicemail at http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Finally, the podcast as been listed as one of 6 podcasts to help you cope with grief by AK Lander. You can check out the entire list here: https://www.aklander.co.uk/news/6-grief-podcasts-to-help-you-cope-with-loss

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

• Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts
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• Click here to subscribe via RSS
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• Click here to listen via iHeart Radio

Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief

Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

Ellen Threatts is the author of Four Seasons of Love and Grief. A native of Youngsville, LA Ms. Threatts works, volunteers, plays and writes about community, life, loss, healing and loving those around. While working with those who suffer from mental health issues compassion and servitude cemented the idea of her creating a non-profit for grieving adults and children. While still in its early stages pairing the soles of the feet, the soul of healing hearts surrounded by nature's landscape will keep Ms. Threatts active and engaged.

In our conversation, Ellen speaks about using writing, hiking, church, and memories oh her husband Troy as the ingredients to her grief recovery "gumbo".

iTunes playlist of songs Ellen mentioned during our talk resulted in a broken link that I could not fix. If I can get it working, I will get it working at a later date.

Question... How do you feel whem people tell you you look like your deceased loved one. I often want to tell people this but I don't know how it would make them feel. Send me an email at [email protected] or leave me a voicemail at http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

• Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts
• Click here to subscribe on Android
• Click here to subscribe via RSS
• Click here to subscribe via Stitcher
• Click here to listen via iHeart Radio

Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief

Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

Special Announcement:

You can now support the show by shopping on Amazon with this link:

https://amzn.to/2JM5LjT

Dealing With My Grief is now an Amazon associate and as an associate I earn from purchases you make on Amazon. You pay nothing extra ... just shop on Amazon by using the above link. The small commission I receive will help fund the show! Thank you!!!

In other breaking news, I'm now on instagram at: https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief

Please follow me for inspirational quotes and thoughts. Thank you.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program:

I have noticed a theme in a lot of the spaces that I visit where denying a belief in God is rooted in the fact that the god you believe in wouldn't allow your loved one to die when and/or how they did.

Our parents attenpt to teach us things that we may not understand until later in life. We don't understand it at the time or we may me confused in term of what we are to receive from the lesson, but at some point we understand the value in the lesson itself. We at this point have an "Ah ha" moment of clarity in its understanding.

Why can we not do the same thing when it comes to God an our religious/spiritual beliefs? After all there are a lot of us that only turn to God when we need/want something and will only appreciate it if it is manifested in the manner that we see fit. But where are we when we need to show gratitude for the things that we have?

R.E.M. - Losing My Religion video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwtdhWltSIg

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

• Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts
• Click here to subscribe on Android
• Click here to subscribe via RSS
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• Click here to listen via iHeart Radio

Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

Special Announcement:

You can now support the show by shopping on Amazon with this link:

https://amzn.to/2JM5LjT

Dealing With My Grief is now an Amazon associate and as an associate I earn from purchases you make on Amazon. You pay nothing extra ... just shop on Amazon by using the above link. The small commission I receive will help fund the show! Thank you!!!

Now back to our regularly scheduled program:

Bri Seeley is a born catalyst and natural truth-teller with a history in counseling, psychology and entrepreneurship. Despite her two degree's in fashion design, she was unknowingly taken down the path of healing and transforming lives through a series of "accidents," "coincidences" and divine guidance. She combines personal experience, psychological concepts, hypnotherapy and Universal Laws with over a decade of coaching and counseling expertise to support people in turning their lives of 'should' into the lives they've always dreamed of. Her specialty is truly helping people accelerate their destiny and become their future selves today.

Bri talks candidly about the trauma caused by the actions of her father in her life and his suicide. The fact that they had become estranged led her to believe she didn't have to grieve his loss.

She later realized she needed to confront his loss in order to carry on in other aspects of her life

Connect with Bri here: https://www.briseeley.com/

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

• Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts
• Click here to subscribe on Android
• Click here to subscribe via RSS
• Click here to subscribe via Stitcher
• Click here to listen via iHeart Radio

Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

Special Announcement:

You can now support the show by shopping on Amazon with this link:

https://amzn.to/2JM5LjT

Dealing With My Grief is now an Amazon associate and as an associate I earn from purchases you make on Amazon. You pay nothing extra ... just shop on Amazon by using the above link. The small commission I receive will help fund the show! Thank you!!!

Now back to our regular program:

Sometimes it's nice to reflect on the milestones we reach with grief. Today I sit down and discuss memories of my dad with the guys from the Grief Dreams podcast.

Last year I did a special episode with Joshua Black and Shawn Ram of the Grief Dreams podcast (griefdreams.ca) and it turned out so nice that I wanted to do it again.

Joshua is researching grief dreams as a PhD. student at Brock University in Ontario, Canada his co-host Shawn walks us through the deaths of our fathers and how we've handled, or plan to handle our losses in the future.

It was nice to chat and get a different perspective on how people deal with their grief journey and maybe store some of their techniques in coping with grief away just in case you need to try something new along your grief journey.

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

• Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts
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• Click here to subscribe via RSS
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• Click here to listen via iHeart Radio

Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

My grandfather loved 3 things; dying eggs at Easter, making ice cream, and making wine. A few years ago I decided I would stasrt making wine using some of his recipes.

While my mother was here, I decided I'd start a batch of wine using one of his recipes with her help. It was a great time together. We shared fond memories of him while doing something that he loved to do!

Then as I often do, I started to ask myself. "How, if at all, does this relate to grief?"

Grief is like the empty bucked that we start out with in the wine making process. It's empty... lile we might be when we first lose someone, EMPTY inside. But we know that from that we'd like to end up with something that is as close to a "normal" life as possible. From that bucket we want to turn that emptiness into wine!

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

• Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts
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• Click here to subscribe via RSS
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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

I didn't get an opportunity to record an episode last weekend... After going through a week where I lost my ATM card and went through hell to get home from a simple surprise trip on Mother's Day, I had a tree branch fall through - yes through the roof of my house! Trying to get that fixed and prepare for my mother's visit - coupled with the loss of electricity for several hours just didn't afford me the time th get the podcast done.

While I strive to get an episode out every week this week for my own sanity I need to triage my life, and the podcast was the casualty. I needed to take care of ME first last week and I had to decide on the one thing wouldn't get done... I'm okay with that choice, after all, family comes first!

Thanks also to everyone who sent in feedback on the question about leaving deceased people in your contacts! I'll have to ask thought provoking questions more often!

Here is a George Carlin standup routine on the subject: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=miY0QSgtfq4

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

• Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts
• Click here to subscribe on Android
• Click here to subscribe via RSS
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• Click here to listen via iHeart Radio

Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

This past weekend, I surprised my mother for Mother's Day on what was supposed to be a very short mainly uneventful weekend.

However, trying to get back to DC turned out to be nightmarish:

1. I had to fix a lock I inadvertently broke
2. My debit card got eaten by an ATM machine
3. My flight got cancelled - TWICE - and delayed TWICE!

After finally getting on a plane 28 hours after I was originally scheduled I was exhausted to say the least... Then I realized life, like grief can sometimes be exhausting! How you deal with it makes all the difference in the world.

Also please continue to send feedback on what you do with the contact information of your decesed loved ones... do you delete them from you phone, email, social media - or do you keep them? Why do you d what you do? I'll share my finding on the May 23 episode of the show. Send me an email at [email protected].

Here is a link to last weeks episode: http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/podcast/episode-110

Finally, congratulations to fellow podcaster and previous guest Shelby Forsythia, host of the 'Coming Back' podcast. Her podcast is now officially on year old!You can check out her podcast at http://www.shelbyforsythia.com/comingback/

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

• Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts
• Click here to subscribe on Android
• Click here to subscribe via RSS
• Click here to subscribe via Stitcher
• Click here to listen via iHeart Radio

Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

As I look through my phone, I have come across the names of 3 individuals who've died... one as long as 10 years ago! But no matter how hard I've tried, I can't bring it upon myself to delete their contact information from my phone.

I know they aren't coming back... I've watched them be burried. I'v been to their homes and kne that they aren't on this earth any longer!

I just don't know why there is a certain finality to removing theme from my contact list, especially when I have other things to remember them by!

Do you have contacts of you deceased loved ones still on your phone? If so, why? Send me an email at [email protected] and let me know who they are and why you keep them on the list.

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

• Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts
• Click here to subscribe on Android
• Click here to subscribe via RSS
• Click here to subscribe via Stitcher
• Click here to listen via iHeart Radio

Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])