Dealing With My Grief

On October 2, 2018 I lost my rock.

After 40 years, my mother was finally reunited with my father. I can only imagine the conversation the two of them are having and the amount of catching up that they have to do.

I am saddened that my mother is not here any longer tyo be with me, but she left with nothing left to give. All of her love and every lesson - I got it all.

Thanks for all the love and support I've received and a special thanks to my tremendous family. I could not have done most of the things I did remotely for her without them being my eyes and ears while I was 850 away trying to take care of my mother.

I LOVE YOU MOM AND I MISS YOU ALREADY!

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

As I write this, my mother is lying in a hospital bed resting comfortably. I am facing the fact that one day she won't be here... the first time in my life I have really thought about it.

And now, I can't stop thinking about it... That one thought is now affecting every aspect of my life - work, family, friends, relationships... EVERYTHING!!

I talk myself out of hitting rock bottom.

I have always been one who has been able to compartmentalize life and not have certain area effect others. Like some people don't like their vegetables touching on their plate.

Right now right now grief is like my mashed potatoes and its touching everythng else on my plate of life... and I don't like the taste!

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

I often have to remind myself that when implementing new strategies in my grief recovery process, I am actually making an investment that I must give time to work and produce results.

I must be patient and give these processes time to work. I must also realize that I may not always get the desired result. That's OK because I can always devise new strategies to help me get though the rough times when old processes stop working.

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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

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Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief

Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

I received an email that stated that this podcast felt it gave them permission to go to the space that they needed to grieve.

Permission is something that you need to go on field trips in school. When it comes to things that nourish your body... food, water, or in this case confronting you emotions, there is no need to seek permission. You do what you need to in the moment or as soon as possible to processes those feelings and confront them before things get out of hand and become too overpowering.

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

I've seen a number of posts in social media that deal with the lack of support that people feel they should be getting from their loved ones, friends and colleagues.

I personally am a people watcher. I'm in a way fascinated by what people do and how they act in certain situations.

After the death's of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain every one I know had some type of suicide prevention hotline number posted on their social media feeds/timelines. After two weeks, this stopped!

Did people all of a sudden just stopped committing suicide? No, something else happened in the 24 hour news cycle - I don't know what is was, but whatever it was it rendered suicide prevention non news worthy. Those people who posted about these tragedies move on to the next new thing.

People who are grieving are treated differently, however. We are expected to to not have anything to say about or pain - or if we do, just keep it to ourselves while others have the right to opt into and out of the grief space at their leisure...

Thus is called "the hypocrisy of grief."

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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

I've got a lot of things going on in my life and have barely had time to breathe. I'm trying to help my mother take car of some things and I've got work and life related things of my own that I'm dealing with.

I don't know how I'll manage everything... sometimes it seems overwhelming. It is in those moments that I have to tell myself that everything is going to be okay. I may not know when or how, but if I say it, and believe it, then everything will work out for the best. I don't know when or how - but I know that everything in the end will be just fine.

If you think negative thoughts, then you are already defeated.

Stay positive in the midst of the storm you are going through.

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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

Often my thoughts get jumbled in my head. I can't seem to keep things straight sometimes, because my mind is a cluttered mess.

A few months a go, I decided to to start writing - journaling if you will - about things I've been thinking about. Mostly grief related topics that I'd like to discuss on the podcast. The idea was to get things down on paper, someplace where all my thoughts would be in one place... a place whre I could come back and process everything that was going on in my mind a particular place and time in life. A spce would be created that was for me and only me where I could write exactly what I'd want and not be judged by others - a place where I could be completely honest.

The process has helped. I have been able to release things that I need to get out in the moment and come back, process my writings and amend my thoughts (maybe). But in the end , it helps me shape my thoughts for the things I should be doing in my life and it allows me to release some stress and give better focus and attention to other areas of my life.

I have designed a journal that fits perfectly in a handback or backpack... take a look here:

All details and procing are on the website.

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief

Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

I needed to visit the St. Louis at the last minute last week and I had the opportunity to visit my dad's grave... but I didn't go alone.

I decided to take my mother with me, because I knew that she hadn't been in a while and I was unsure of what would happen. As it turned out, we ended up having a family meeting.

My mother talked abaout how I was taking over some of the things that she had been doing for years, and I talked about my son's upcoming birthday.

I wish he was closer to town so we could see him often, but in the end it's rewarding to know that I have to carve out a slice of time just to visit him!

How often do you get to the cemetery and how does it make you feel?

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

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Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief

Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

I have been asked on several occasions if there is ever truly be happy after loss.

The answer to that question is a simple - YES! Getting there however, may not be as simple as it sounds.

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief

Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

A few weeks ago I asked for listener feedback on how you felt when people say you look like your deceased loved ones - and here is what you said!

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief

Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])