Dealing With My Grief

Sometimes I have to pay what I owe... I lost a bet to my Canadian friends from the Grief Dreams podcast (griefdreams.ca) and now I have to pay up!

We had a bet on the first round NBA basketball playoff series between the Washington Wizards and Toronto Raptors. Whoever's team lost team lost would have to congratulate the other team on their victory in their podcast. And now I must do just that...

Congratulations to the Toronto Raptors!

Now there, I've done it and it's over.

I had a chat with the guys from that podcast and they wanted to know if I could come up with an episode about grief and basketball. I was hesitant at first - and them I realized that I could probably relate any topic to grief. So here is my comparison between grief and basketball...

Sometimes things don't always go you your way. In those instances you have to find a way to go other thing (sometimes what people call the little things) to help yourself win. If you can seem to make shots, play better defense. In grief, if you can't seem to get out of the funk that is brought by grief. Try to do something different than you're doing already to try to take care of your self. It may take some time but eventually you'll find a winning combination.

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twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

April 24, 2018 marks the 40th anniversary of my dad's death... April 25 would have been my parents 54th wedding anniversary.

I thought today would be a very painful one for me. But the words of a priest honoring someone else's loved one would touch me in ways that I couldn't imagine. His words took the sting out of the pain.

I decided to homer my dad by hosting a Facebook live event in the Grief Resilience group where people could talk on and speak about their loved one if only for a minute to honor them and keep there memories alive! It was a great time and an amazing space. It wasn't as painful as I thought it would be.

While I do hurt, the sting from his loss hurts a little less this year, all because of the king words of a pastor and the community of others who are grieving!

Dad, I love you and I miss you everyday.

Thanks to all those who reached out to me to check on me this month... it is greatly appreciated. And a special thanks to those who choose to share their own stories as a means of fighting through their grief and in some small way helping others.

I love you all.

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twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

Today I have the honor of speaking with someone about loss as a result of suicide...

Sebastian Slovin grew up in La Jolla, California and traveled extensively as a professional bodyboarder. As a young boy, Sebastian lost his father to suicide, which would later deeply inspire his path in life. He holds a BA in Environmental Policy from San Diego State University and an MA in Leadership Studies from the University of San Diego. He and his wife, Sonya, founded Nature Unplugged, which focuses on cultivating wellness through healthier relationships with technology and a deeper connection to nature. He's recently launched a memoir, Ashes in the Ocean, a reflection about living through and learning from his father's suicide.​ When he is not writing or working on Nature Unplugged, Sebastian enjoys swimming, bodysurfing, surfing, and stand-up paddling (and pretty much all things) in the wild Pacific Ocean.​

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

Before I get started, I have an announcement...

Dealing With My Grief is now an award winning podcast!! It won a Silver Award in the Podcasting category at DC Web Fest (dcwebfest.org) held on April 6-7, 2018.

Thank you for the recognition... the voices of those struggling with and persevering through grief are being heard!

Thanks to Oren Levine for the music and Will Friday for the cover art. And a special thanks to my family who put up with my need for quiet will producing the show.

Now on to the main content for the week!

My friends were one of the few things in my life that was "normal" after my father died, and really didn't put me through any peer pressure groing up as a teen. This really allowed my to focus one ways to begin to move through my expiences and just live like everyone else!

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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

Dave Jackson is the host of School of Podcasting and was the inspiration behind me using podcasting as the medium of getting my grief story out into the world. The thing that drew me to Dave is the fact that talk a lot about his personal life and how lessons he has learned in life, especially from his mother can be applied to podcasting... as well as other podcast topics that he entertains.

In this episode we talk about his parents, specifically his mother and how he has, or hasn't dealt with her loss.

Links to Dave's podcast and other stuff

Dave's website: https://schoolofpodcasting.com/Dave's sermon about his mother: http://betterdave.com/what-my-mother-meant-to-me-the-original-building-a-better-dave/

After you listen to this, you'll realize that there is no magic recipe and no time table for coping\recovering from grief. Some people simply get through it by suppressing it for as long as they can.

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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

Repetition is the mother of learning...

In this regard, what I say this week is something I have said in different episodes of this podcast at some point in time.

Grief isn't something you get over, you get through it. In coping with my own loss, I have found that facing my demons and looking at life with a different perspective have allowed my to come through my greif experience a better person.

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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

Erin Donovan is a documentary film producer who lost her mother suddenly in 2015 as the result of a car accident. In this episode she discusses dealing with not only her mother's death, but also it's aftermath... managing her mother's estate, fending of lawsuits, as well as keeping family members at bay.

Yoga, therapy and friends would play a big part in helping Erin manage daily life after suffering her loss.

Links to Erin's work:

Erin's website: http://erindonovan.com/Medium: 11 People You Meet in HellModern Loss: My Mom's Violent Death Gave Me PTSD

I really enjoyed our talk. It was refreshing to hear someone else use their loss as a means of removing stress for other aspects of life. Also, good friends show up when you need them most.

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

Last week I had no internet so as a bonus, I posted an interview for the Coming Back podcast. Shelby forsythia has me as a guest on her show and we has a great time talking about perspective, chess, and photo albums!

Check out our conversation here:

http://www.shelbyforsythia.com/podcast/38

This week I reflect on things I would say from the perspective of a 50 year old. Knowing what I know now, my 10 year old self would have a few things to say as well!

What are some things that you would tell yourself looking boack at your grief?

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

This week I had the opportunity to speak with Shelby Forsythia on her podcast, 'Coming Back'. Somehow I always feel better when I get to share my lost story and people are genuinely interested in parts of my story I really haven't discussed previously.

Sheaya Biddle is a former (and maybe soon to be) podcaster, future author and creator of the Facebook group 'Grief Resilience'. The group stresses positivity in the face of copy with grief and loss.

This week I discus the loss of Sheaya's mother and the grief shaming that ensued and how she was able to cope with that by having close friends and building community.

Join Sheaya's Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/griefresilience/

Brene Brown: Listening to Shame https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame#t-578054

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])