Dealing With My Grief

A listener asks if I still styruggle with someThe short anse things since it seems like I have come up with coping skills for a lot of things.

The short answer is yes... I struggle with some things. However, there are some things that don't bother me so much.

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

I received letter a few months ago from the person convicted of killing my father. This letter had been written in 2008 and had never been claimed by my mother.

I'm not sure if she was truly aware that this letter had been written, or if she simply chose not to receive it.

In any case, it weas not what I expected .

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A few months ago, I received notification that the person convicted of killing my father will be eligible for a parole hearing in April 2023... that is less than 3 years away. Even still, while the hearing is in less than three years, he still has another mandatory 8 years let's be fty to server.

When I was a kid, 50 years seemed forever... now its right around the corner. I know have to ask myself how I feel about that.

Do I consider what my mom would do or think about this, do I lean on religious beliefs or do what I think is right by me? Do I even know what I think is right?

I have many questions and no answers, but I have time to think about it.

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

I had a wonderful chat with Callsuma Ali about my relationship with my father. We also talk about his murder and my process for dealing with the aftermath of his loss.

Connect with Callsuma on Twitter at https://twitter.com/CallsumaAli

Sometimes grief comes between us.

we plan for many things, but grief is not one of them. As we be go through life, planning for what we think is going to be the future, grief has a way of derailing those plans, So much so that it may begin to eat away at the fabric of our relationships.

As we begin to process our grief, how quickly we move through has a serious impact on what people think about us and how they act towards us. The key thing to remember is that we all process differently... and that must be respected.

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Note: I am looking to interview individuals who are victims of violent crime and have received apology letters from the offender. If that is you or someon you know, reach out to me by any of the methods below.

Thanks!

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

On May 25, 2020 George Floyd lost his life to the hands of the Minneapolis, Minnesota police when a police office knelt on his neck until he was dead. This is just the latest example an unarmed African American man whose life has senselessly been taken by those who have sworn to protect and serve us.

In the wake of this tragedy, there have been protests and riots all across the country.

In the midst of it all there are many people who do understand what many African Americans go through on a daily basis.

Just like grief you'll never truly understand until it happens to you.

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

Why did my mother give me my name.... Darwyn?

Last week I talked about change... change while going through the changes that grief brings.

This week is about the evolution of grief... how my grief has evolved and how I have evolved (or maybe not) around it.

I used to be angry, lost, confused in the immediate days and years following my dad's death.

Somehow, somewhere I found the act of forgiveness which allowed me to release the anger and begin to have some sort of inner peace. I used to believe that some people are crazy or are monsters and just want to hurt people.

I believe now that there is a reason why most people do what they do, even the bad things and we don't want to take the time figure out or to understand why.

I've changed my thoughts on knowing why my father was killed. I now have this burning sensation to sit down with one or more of the people who committed this murder and simply ask, "Why?" I know I'll never get ananswer that justifies the reason.

Whike I have evolved in some respects, in others I have not. I still ignore the signs that people give right before they die.

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

Heraclitus, the Greek philosopher said, "Change is the only constant in life."

As I publish this episode I realize that not only is change constant, but I have no control over how or even when it affects me. Change for as much as it can be welcomed and good when we know that something good is coming can be so dreadful when the unexpected bad thing s happen.

Even when we know that bad things are going to occur I sometime ignore the signs talking myself out of how much I will be impacted by the change the is coming.

While I don't like it most times... I have to learn to embrace change regardless when it happens... good or bad.

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

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voice/message - (240) 778-5200

Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief

Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

As I sit working from home amid the COVID-19 pandemic I have realized that the link between this virus and grief is more that just the deaths caused by the virus.

With all the talk about the number of cases and death expected to rise, speculation about a possible vaccine years ahead of the normal timeline for vaccine development and the politicizing of the virus by both parties here in the U.S., Just like I have often done in grief, I just want to isolate myself (even more than I've been forced to) from it all!

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice/message - (240) 778-5200

Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief

Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])