Dealing With My Grief

As I post this, I am in St. Louis... at my mom's house... finally going through her things.

As I spent 13 hours in a car driving here, I had a lot of time to think about this process; how hard it might be and the emotions i would face as I tried to determine what I would keep for myself, what I might offer to others and what I woulkd just get red of entirely.

It was difficult when I first got started but I decided it would be easier if I could establish a closer connection to mom while I was here. So I decided to change the linen on her bed and sleep in her room. It has been a very calming experience over the last few days... very calming emotionally. It has definitely taken the edge of what as been and emotional roller coaster.

I have to also take time to thank my family and friends who have supported me through this process. I have not been the easiest person to reach or to talk to in fear of having to answer the question of when was I going to begin the process ofg cleaning out mom's house. They are a truly amazing group of people,

I have found that I can do what I con and when it becomes too much, just take a break until you can do more. Eventually you'll reach your goal.

Thank you for supporting me through this process.

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

Latasha James is the founder of James + Park, a digital marketing company based in Detroit. She is also a YouTube content creator and host of The Freelance Friday Podcast.

Latasha talks candidly about the love she has for her father who became homeless after her parents separated. She explains how forgiving him is helping her move forward in her grief.

While he suffered with addiction to alcohol, she did as much as she could for him while he as alive and possibly even more after his passing.

Visit the James+Park website: Listen to Latasha's podcast or watch her videos here.

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

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twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

This week, I've been listening to a new podcast, 'Grieving Overdose Death' by Susan Claire.

Susan is a listener to the podcast who decided it was time to tell her own lost story and to give a voice to others who like herself have lost a loved one to a drug overdose.

I have often said that if you have something to say, say it. You may not find support from the people you expected, but you will find support from the least likely of places... and your story with resonate with or even inspire others. Please find links to Susan's podcast below.

Listen to Susan's podcast on Apple Podcasts Visit Susan's website

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice/message - (240) 778-5200

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Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

You can learn more about Sarah here: http://www.sarahneustadter.com/.

You can find her book on Amazon: Love You Like the Sky: Surviving the Suicide of a Beloved.

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

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voice/message - (240) 778-5200

Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief

Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

This weekend I binge watched season 3 of the TV show Master Chef. The show is a competition for amateur cooks hosted by Gordon Ramsay (and other celebrity chefs) to determine who the best home cook for that season happens to be.

The aspect of this particular season that had me glued to my TV was the fact that one of the contestants was blind. How could someone without sight cook fancy meals in a short period of time?

She had to rely on the senses she had: taste, smell, hearing and touch. And not focus on the one sense she didn't have... sight.

Sometimes for me it's easy to get caught up on the things I don't have and not concentrate on using the things that I do have... that are often times right in front of me when it comes to coping with loss. It could be friends, family, or anything that is around me... I just lose focus on what I have and only concentrate on what's missing.

Sometimes I need to shift my focus.

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twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

As the St. Louis Blues make a run at the Stanley Cup, the National Hockey League's (NHL) biggest prize, I took a moiment to look back at my time growing up in the city of St. Louis and my relationship - or lack thereof with hockey. Even though I am not the world's biggest hockey fan, I really want the Blues to win it all.

Growing up I was (and still am) a huge St. Louis Cardinals baseball fan. Hockey on the other hand was something I only watched if there was nothing else on t watch. I might have even listened to a game on the radio if I was trying to go to sleep and just wanted some type of background noise. But I never was really invested in the outcome of their games until now.

When it comes to supporting the St. Louis Blues hockey team, there are the true supporters of the team that have suffered through 49 years of NHL playoff frustration... having teams lose earlier than expected, games that should have been won but were lost, some years of not making the playoffs at all. I am really excited for thos people because they have provided support since day one.

Then there are the former players. The ones that are behind this team because the couldn't find a way to win the Cup themselves. It as a win for this current team is a win for them all. It's a beautiful thing.

Then there is the rest of us... we are only in it because something great is about to happen for the city, or because their has been a financial boost to the city or a specific business because the Blues have mad it this far. Support is only provided because there is something in it for us, even if it's a restored sense of pride for the place we call (or at one time called) home.

This brings me to grief... some won't provide support because they are invested in anyone's grief journey until they are forced to face loss themselves. Then they are all in... and expect other's to be there for them even thought they weren't always willing to be there for others. Grief is funny that way.

The reality is that grievers only want an outlet... someone to talk to... someone who will listen. We looking for people to fix things.

Just be present. That's all that's required

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

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voice/message - (240) 778-5200

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

This past week - Memorial Day weekend here in the United States, I had a chance to finally meet Dr. Joshua Black of the Grief Dreams podcast (griefdreams.ca).

I took him to Arlington National Cemetery and we watched the changing of the guard at the tomb of the Unknown Soldier. It was a very powerful experience.

He happened to be in town to speak at a conference given by the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS).

Our discussion focuses on the cemetery visit and how his fathere's death lead to the pursuit of his doctorate degree in psychology.

For more information about TAPS, go to: https://www.taps.org/

For more grief related resources, please visit: http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/grief-resources/

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

As I think about things that I have to do to settle mom's estate, I realize that once I go through the rest of her personal effects, I will go through another huge wave of emotions. I'm not exactly sure what that looks like. That's part of the future of my grief journey.

When I look back at where I started with the death of my father, I realize how far I've come. I know I can handle it. I know that grief will come and go. Some days will be fun and easy, and some days will be hard. I have learned this by looking back at the death of my father and realizing that I have come this far. I know that in the end, it'll all be OK. I know my past is currently helping the present portion of my grief journey cope.

Somehow, I'm fixated on the the future... and I shouldn't be. I need to let the anxiety of how I will feel finalizing some things go and live in the now, this current moment. I know that there will be other moments that will sting - like going back to visit St. Louis on future trips and not not seeing mom, or having the house be in a different state than in the last time she lived there... and of course, here not being there.

I need to keep telling myself to live in the now and let the feelings of the future just come when they come and deal with them then and not think about what I might feel ahead of time.

Also, you can now call/text the show: Call/text me at (240)778-5200

This week, I'm looking forward to Joshua Black of the Grief Dreams podcast coming to Washington, DC for a conference. I'll finally get to meet him and hopefully sit down and put together some type of future episode of the podcast.

For more grief related resources, please visit: http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/grief-resources/

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

• Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts
• Click here to subscribe on Android
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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief

Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

As I was drinking a glass of wine (that turned into the whole bottle) on Mother's Day, I starting thinking about things that she would say to me in the form of unsolicited advice - specifically about people would would call themselves my friends but were only hanging out with me because I had a car.

I didn't want to believe this to be true... after all I was simply becoming more popular as I got older. As it turned out, I got in trouble and lost access to the car for 30 days. With it my NEW so called friends disappeared.

With the advent of social media we tend to block people whio say things that we don't want to hear - even in grief.

I have a number of things that I need to take care of but have refused to do so because the emotional scars will be painful - but I have to get them done and the people who care for me have asked repeatedly about them. It's not that they want me to get over my mom's loss. They simply want my to move forward.

While I don't want to hear the advice, it's something that I need to hear and something that I do have to address sooner rather than later.

If you haven't already done so catch my Mother's Day conversation with Joshua Black and Shelby Forsythia here: https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-kzduz-b0ec3a

Also, you can now call/text the show: Call/text me at (240)778-5200

For more grief related resources, please visit: http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/grief-resources/

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

• Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts
• Click here to subscribe on Android
• Click here to subscribe via RSS
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Contact me using any of following: email - [email protected]

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief

Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief

Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected])

This week I had the honor of chatting with Dr. Joshua Black of the Grief Dreams podcast (griefdreams.ca) and Shelby Forsythia of the Coming Back podcast (shelbyforsythia.com/comingback) about the importance of Mother's Day and how those of us who have lost our mothers will cope in the absence of Mom.