Dear Chiefs Podcast

In this inspiring episode Audra and Chelsi sit down with Fire Captain Andrea Binley, a trailblazing female firefighter who proves you can have it all—your career, dreams, and family. Starting her journey as a Fire Explorer with Upland Fire Department at just 19, Andrea has climbed the ranks from firefighter/paramedic to Captain, all while balancing motherhood and a blended family.

Andrea shares her experiences as a female firefighter in a predominantly male field, the challenges of co-parenting with a firefighter schedule, and what lit the spark inside her to become a firefighter. A passionate advocate for diversity and mentorship, she has developed programs like the DREAM committee (Diversity, Recruitment, Equity, and Mentorship) and the Girl’s Empowerment Camp, supporting and mentoring the next generation of women in firefighting.

We discuss online criticism in the firefighting community, being the subject of firefighter memes, and advice for firewives who may feel uneasy about female firefighters in their departments.

Follow Andrea:

instagram: https://www.instagram.com/welcometothelionsden/

or

https://www.instagram.com/firelifemomwife/

Key Topics Covered

• Andrea Binley’s career journey from Fire Explorer to Captain

• Balancing motherhood and a firefighter’s demanding schedule

• Supporting diversity and mentorship in firefighting through the DREAM committee

• Empowering women in firefighting through the Girl’s Empowerment Camp and Women’s Fire Alliance

• Navigating a blended family as a firefighter and mom Step Parent Coaching Course: https://www.mindykylecoaching.com

• Handling online bullying and firefighter memes

Books Mentioned

The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks

Atomic Habits by James Clear

It's Okay to Be the Boss by Bruce Tulgan

Leadershift by John C Maxwell

Everything Is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo

In this episode, Audra and Chelsi sit down with Rachael Choate, a mother and firefighter’s wife, to explore the often-overlooked topic of Mom Rage and its impact on first responder families. Rachael shares her personal journey from corporate leadership to motherhood, opening up about her struggles with postpartum anxiety, depression, and anger. She explains how life coaching helped her find healing and balance, and how she now uses her experiences to support other moms facing similar challenges.

Throughout this conversation, they dive into the complex feelings of guilt, resentment, and the pressures of being the default parent in a first responder household. Rachael offers practical insights on managing emotions, breaking the cycle of bottled up feelings, and how moms can create space for self-care even when their partners are away on long shifts.

Rachel Choate graduated with bachelor’s and master’s degrees in psychology before entering the corporate world, where she traveled across the country, teaching leadership development skills and coaching leaders within her company.

After getting laid off in 2019, she decided to focus on starting a family with her firefighter husband of four years. Becoming a mom turned out to be way harder than she imagined, and she struggled with likely postpartum anxiety, depression, and anger.

Topics Covered:

• Understanding Mom Rage in first responder families

• Managing resentment and guilt when your spouse is away

• Coping as the default parent and avoiding burnout

• The importance of emotional expression and self-care

Books and Podcasts Mentioned

Loving What Is by Byron Katie

The Friend Zone by Abby Jimenez

Huberman Lab Podcast

Follow Rachael

https://www.instagram.com/rachaelchoate_/

⁠Watch BIG GUY on Netflix NOW!!⁠

In this hilarious and heartwarming episode of Dear Chiefs, we welcome the incredibly talented Rachel Feinstein! Rachel is an actress and stand-up comedian who also happens to be married to an FDNY Battalion Chief. She brings her unique perspective as a fire wife, combining humor and relatability in a way that resonates with everyone.

Mentioned during this episode:

Firehouse Cookies

Irene Bremis: Sweetie

Peaky Blinders

Punchline SF

Follow Rachel:

Website: ⁠https://punchup.live/rachel-feinstein⁠ or ⁠https://rachel-feinstein.com/⁠

Instagram:⁠ https://www.instagram.com/rachelfeinstein_/⁠

In this episode, we tackle navigating family life in a first responder household with neurodivergent children. Joining them is Jessi Brown, firewife to her husband Phil, a seasoned firefighter with a large department outside of D.C.

Jessi shares her journey raising Lyla, almost 11, and Buddy, 9, both of whom are autistic, with Buddy navigating additional disabilities. With a decade of research and advocacy under her belt, Jessi opens up about the joys, challenges, and unique circumstances faced by families like hers.

From the mental and physical toll on the default parent to the financial strains and moments of pure joy, Jessi delves into the intricacies of balancing firefighting life with the demands of parenting neurodivergent children. Offering invaluable advice, she addresses the isolation and overwhelm experienced by many first responder parents in similar situations.

Tune in as Jessi sheds light on her journey, emphasizing the importance of neurodiversity-affirming support for children and families alike. Whether you're a first responder parent or simply seeking insight into this intersection of identities, this episode promises to offer both perspective and encouragement.

Dive into a compelling episode as Dr. Peter Salerno, a renowned psychotherapist specializing in clinical psychology and trauma treatment, shares invaluable expertise on navigating manipulative relationships and trauma recovery. Dr. Salerno's extensive background in diagnosing trauma-related conditions and personality disorders ensures a deep exploration of this complex topics.

Listeners gain crucial insights into the core characteristics of narcissism and PTSD, along with the interplay between trauma and its development. Dr. Salerno's expertise illuminates the nuances between narcissistic traits and PTSD symptoms, offering clarity on how these factors influence individual responses to trauma.

With a keen focus on specialized care, Dr. Salerno emphasizes the importance of tailored therapy approaches, cautioning against the risks of relying on unprepared therapists. Practical advice abounds as he guides individuals through recognizing manipulation within relationships, empowering them with strategies to regain control and agency in their healing journey.

Join us for an enlightening discussion as we uncover the intricacies of manipulative relationships, trauma recovery, and the path to healing and empowerment with Dr. Peter Salerno.

Books and Media Mentioned During This Episode

Dr. Salerno's book The Nature and Nurture of Narcissism is coming out on June 1.

Sharp Objects on HBO MAX

Without Conscious by Robert D. Hare

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

Follow Dr. Salerno

website: https://www.drpetersalerno.com/

instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drpetersalerno/

In this episode, we delve into the profound journey of Davin Cole, a retired lieutenant with over thirty years of experience in law enforcement in the San Francisco Bay Area. Davin's career spanned various roles, from Field Training Officer to K9 Officer and Trainer, each presenting its own challenges and rewards.

However, Davin's story takes a dramatic turn as he opens up about his battle with addiction. A debilitating on-duty injury became the catalyst for a decades-long struggle with prescription pain medication and alcohol addiction. Despite his decorated career, Davin found himself trapped in the grip of substance abuse, facing a personal crisis that overshadowed his years of service.

But Davin's story doesn't end there. With resilience and determination, he embarked on a journey of recovery that ultimately led him to a place of sobriety and purpose. Now, Davin has transformed his experiences into a powerful platform for advocacy, shining a light on addiction and mental wellness within the law enforcement community.

In this episode, Davin candidly shares the highs and lows of his journey, offering insight into the unique pressures first responders face and the often-overlooked toll it can take on their mental health. Through his raw and honest account, Davin aims to educate, inspire, and offer solidarity to those silently struggling with similar challenges.

Join us as we explore Davin Cole's remarkable transition from badge to battle and discover the resilience and hope that can emerge from even the darkest struggles.

Books Mentioned During This Episode

Relentless Courage by Michael Sugrue: https://amzn.to/3UDqBW5

Recovery by Russell Brand: https://amzn.to/3Qlwq8f

Follow Davin

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/davin-cole-51780152/

email:  contactdavincoleATgmailDOTcom

In this episode, we delve into a critical issue facing firefighters and first responders: the alarming prevalence of cancer within their ranks. With cancer emerging as the leading cause of death among firefighters, the urgency to address preventive measures has never been more pressing.

This episode highlights the routine annual check-ups that firefighters undergo and sheds light on a troubling reality. Despite outwardly healthy appearances, many doctors often overlook the potential risks lurking beneath the surface. Enter Prenuvo, a pioneering company dedicated to revolutionizing preventive healthcare.

Joining the discussion is Dr. Sefi, a distinguished medical professional with a background that spans from Brown's Medical School to prestigious institutions like Stanford and Aidoc, before landing at Prenuvo. Dr. Sefi shares insights into the innovative technologies and approaches Prenuvo employs to detect cancer in its earliest stages, long before symptoms manifest.

Through compelling anecdotes and expert analysis, this episode explores the crucial importance of proactive measures in safeguarding the health and well-being of our brave firefighters and first responders. Tune in as we uncover the groundbreaking efforts to detect cancer before it strikes, offering hope and support to those on the front lines of emergency response.

Follow Prenuvo

website: https://www.prenuvo.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/prenuvo/

We're thrilled to dive into the world of first responder family life with our special guest, Kaitlin Soule, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Mental Health expert based in California.

Kaitlin Soule brings a wealth of expertise, specializing in women and teen mental health, modern parenthood, and anxiety disorders. As a mother of three and the wife of a firefighter, she offers a fresh perspective on navigating the complexities of this lifestyle. We'll even discuss her newly released book, A Little Less of a Hot Mess: The Modern Mom's Guide to Growth & Evolution

From the initial stages of her husband's firefighting career to the ongoing challenges of managing schedules and coping with the unpredictability of mandatory calls, Kristin shares her experiences. She provides practical, invaluable tips for finding balance and peace while navigating the everyday stresses of first responder spouses.

Books Mentioned During This Episode

Yours Truly by Abbi Jimenez

Good Inside by Dr. Becky

Follow Kaitlin

website: https://bayareamoderntherapy.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kaitlin.soule/

In this episode, we welcome Kristin Starling, Executive Director of Songwriting With Soldiers (SW:S), a program dedicated to transforming the lives of military veterans and their families through collaborative songwriting.

Kristin shares insights into the profound impact of SW:S retreats, where veterans from all conflicts come together with professional songwriters to share their experiences and create powerful songs. These songs not only serve as a creative outlet but also bridge the gap between the military and civilian communities, raising awareness of the challenges faced by veterans.

Join us as we delve into Kristin's journey into the world of music and her dedication to serving veterans through SW:S. Discover the positive psychology behind the program and hear firsthand examples of how it has changed lives.

And of course, don't miss the fun as we put Kristin in the hot seat with some rapid-fire questions, getting to know her on a personal level. From Easter candies to dinner party guests, we cover it all!

Follow Songwriting With Soliders:

website: www.songwritingwithsoldiers.org

instagram: https://www.instagram.com/songwritingwithsoldiers/

Song Sampled by Danny during the campfire:
Let Go Of The Pain

Mentioned On This Episode:

Boulder Crest Foundation

Danny Myrick

Travis Howard

Liz Huett

"This is What It Sounds Like" by Susan Rogers

Flight Of The Butterflies

*Disclosure: We only recommend products and services that we would use ourselves, and all opinions expressed here are our own. This episode description contains affiliate links, and at no additional cost to you, we may earn a small commission.

In this compelling episode, we delve deep into the intricate concept of moral injury with esteemed guest Dr. Brooke Bartlett, Ph.D. Dr. Bartlett, a licensed clinical psychologist and the driving force behind the Center for Trauma, Anxiety, and Stress (CTAS), brings her extensive expertise to the forefront as we explore the complexities surrounding moral injury, particularly within the realms of first responders and military personnel.

Drawing from over a decade of hands-on experience providing evidence-based clinical services to these courageous individuals, Dr. Bartlett sheds light on the nuanced psychological challenges they face both in the therapy room and out in the field. Her profound understanding of trauma and its effects on the human psyche serves as a guiding beacon throughout our conversation.

With a remarkable research background that spans over 20 publications in scientific journals, a published book chapter, and countless presentations at prestigious conferences worldwide, Dr. Bartlett offers invaluable insights into the often-overlooked realm of moral injury. She passionately advocates for the mental well-being of those who selflessly serve their communities and countries, emphasizing the importance of tailored therapeutic approaches and comprehensive wellness programming.

Throughout the episode, Dr. Bartlett shares poignant anecdotes and practical strategies aimed at addressing moral injury and fostering resilience among first responders and military members. From stress first aid consultation to specialized wellness initiatives, her multifaceted approach underscores the significance of holistic support systems in mitigating the impact of moral distress.

Join us as we embark on a thought-provoking journey with Dr. Brooke Bartlett, delving into the heart of moral injury and discovering actionable steps toward healing and resilience. Whether you're a frontline responder, a military veteran, or simply an advocate for mental health awareness, this episode promises to ignite meaningful dialogue and inspire positive change in our communities.

Mentioned During This Episode:

LMNT Zero-Sugar Electrolytes 

On Desperate Ground by Hampton Sides

The Anxious Perfectionist by Clarissa W. Ong PhD and Michael P. Twohig PhD

Follow Dr. Bartlett

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doctorbrookephd

website: https://www.centertas.com/

*Disclosure: We only recommend products and services that we would use ourselves, and all opinions expressed here are our own. This episode description contains affiliate links, and at no additional cost to you, we may earn a small commission.