Mother-daughter relationships are often painted as unbreakable, built on love and understanding. But what happens when that bond is complicated, when love feels distant, when wounds run deep, and when years of unspoken pain shape how we see each other?

In this deeply personal episode, I take you on a journey through my own complicated relationship with my mother, from childhood feelings of abandonment and resentment to the slow process of healing, understanding, and ultimately, forgiveness.

I explore what it meant to grow up without the warmth I craved, to be sent away at a young age, and to return with a heart hardened by distance and hurt. I talk about the fights, the moments that broke me, and the realization that my mother, before she was anything else, was a woman with her own story, her own struggles, her own way of loving.

This episode is about pain, but more importantly, it’s about growth. It’s about learning to see our mothers not just as parents, but as people. It’s about breaking cycles, finding peace, and choosing love even when it’s imperfect.

Because at the end of the day, love isn’t just about how it’s given, it’s also about how we choose to receive it.

Let’s talk about it.

In this deeply personal and reflective episode of Dear Melanin KD, I sit down with my younger self, the little girl who once felt lost, the teenager who struggled with identity, and the young woman who faced heartbreak, rejection, and self-doubt. Through a heartfelt letter, I offer her the words of wisdom, love, and reassurance she needed but never received.

From the innocence of childhood to the complexities of adolescence, I unpack the impact of colorism, texturism, and the pressures of navigating the world as a Black girl with West African roots. I speak to the struggles of self-worth, the lessons learned through pain, and the strength found in vulnerability.

This episode is for anyone who has ever questioned their journey, felt unseen, or wished they could go back and remind themselves of their worth. Your experiences, your struggles, and your growth all matter. You are enough. You always have been.

Let’s talk about it.

In this deeply personal episode of Dear Melanin KD, we explore a little of what it means to grow up in a home where love is present but never spoken, where emotions are dismissed, and where survival takes precedence over softness. Many of us in the Black community have been taught to equate love with provision rather than affection, to push through pain instead of acknowledging it.

I open up about my own experiences with feeling unseen, misunderstood, and conditioned to suppress my emotions. From maladaptive daydreaming to isolation and long drives as a form of escape, I reflect on the unhealthy coping mechanisms I developed just to make sense of my emotions in a world that told me they didn’t matter.

But survival is not the same as healing. This episode is about unlearning the walls we’ve built around ourselves, embracing vulnerability, and understanding that we are deserving of love, care, and emotional validation.

For every Black girl who has ever felt alone in a crowded room, for anyone struggling to break free from survival mode......this conversation is for you.

Let’s talk about it.

You give your all, your love, time, and energy believing that the people you pour into will do the same for you. But when they don’t? That kind of disappointment can shake you to your core.

In this episode of Dear Melanin KD, we’re sitting in the raw reality of feeling unseen, unappreciated, and let down by the people we expected to show up. We’ll unpack:

• Why disappointment cuts so deep

• The painful truth about expecting people to treat us how we treat them

• How to accept that some people just won’t show up for us

• How to let go without shutting down

If you’ve ever felt drained from constantly being the strong one, this episode is for you. It’s time to stop proving your worth to people who don’t value it and start pouring into those who truly see you. Let’s talk about it.

This episode talks about the battles no one sees, when drowning feels like the only option, learning to tread water, finding peace in the chaos, and a message to those who are still fighting. If you take nothing else from this episode, I want you to remember this:

You are not just surviving—you are living.

And as long as you’re still here, there is hope.

So keep your head up. Keep breathing. Keep fighting.

Because you will make it through this.

And when you do, you’ll realize that you were never drowning.

You were just learning how to swim.

This episode speaks on the unspoken survival skill, what is code-switching?, the shock of entering white spaces, the fear of not belonging, finding my voice in uncomfortable spaces and how you don't have to fit in.

Here’s what I want you to take from this episode:

You don’t have to fit in.

You don’t have to shrink yourself to make others comfortable.

You don’t have to prove your worth to anyone.

Code-switching may be a survival skill, but it shouldn’t be a requirement for success. And if a space doesn’t accept you as you are? Maybe that space doesn’t deserve you.

This episode talks about ways to push back against white supremacy while centering healing and empowerment.

We name it. We talk about it. We refuse to let it go unnoticed.

Because white supremacy thrives in silence.

And we are not alone in this.

So if you have ever felt the weight of it, if you have ever questioned your worth because of it, if you have ever struggled under the expectations it places on you—I see you.

And I want you to know: We are more than this system.

We are more than what they try to reduce us to.

We are enough.

And we always have been.

This episode explores the struggle of being disbelieved and minimized as a Black woman, the emotional toll it takes on our mental health, and how we can begin to break free from the cycle of silence and invalidation. It’s an invitation to reflect on the power of our voices, the importance of validation, and the need for solidarity and support among Black women.

This episode explores the complexities of bottling up emotions, the impact it has on mental health, and the power of vulnerability. It encourages listeners to reflect on their own struggles with emotional expression, urging them to embrace their feelings and heal at their own pace.

This episode talks about the beginning of bottling it all up, the toll on my mental health, heartbreak and healing/breaking point, the moment of realization- it's okay to cry, reflecting on the need for vulnerability and moving forward plus taking the first step toward healing.

This episode is a follow up to episode 8 because I believe that it goes hand in hand. This episode talks about living in survival mode, the weight of always being "strong", rest as resistance, rest as healing, releasing the guilt of rest, and learning to breathe again.

I want you to take this with you:

You are not just here to survive—you are here to thrive.

You are not just strong—you are soft, you are human, you are deserving of rest.

And most importantly, you don’t have to wait for permission to breathe.

Take care of yourselves, family. Give yourself grace. And remember—rest is your birthright.

Until next time, peace, love, and melanin.