Dear Shandy

Ask and you shall receive! By extremely popular demand and for the very first time, Shandy is recapping Netflix's Perfect Match! Today we're breaking down the first batch of season 2, meaning episodes 1-6!

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Time Stamps:

0:00 - Introduction

1:02 - Episode 1

19:49 - Episode 2

34:56 - Episode 3

46:21 - Episode 4

1:06:26 - Episode 5

1:15:33 - Episode 6

1:29:41 - Andy’s A-Game

1:32:48 - Sharleen’s Best Dressed

1:34:17 - Who We Would Go For

If you have a relationship question, write us at: [email protected]

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More Dear Shandy

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More Sharleen

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt

Blog - http://www.alltheprettypandas.com

More Andy

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Produced by Gabrielle Galon - https://www.instagram.com/gabsamillion

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Shandy is officially on the Dawg Side! As you may know, 3 months ago we adopted a small dog named Ruby! We hadn't planned on doing a fur baby episode, but it came so hotly requested (and we were so touched by the enthusiasm!), we couldn't help but oblige. Today we're answering YOUR questions all about our pup, her adoption story, and whether or not the famed Cat Person (Andy) has been converted. Warning: unfettered gushing ahead!

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0:00 - Introduction

1:35 - Ruby’s Adoption Story

10:28 - Andy’s Adjustment To Dog Person

12:23 - Ruby’s Personality

14:52 - Tips For Fellow Germaphobes

16:10 - What Took You So Long?

20:22 - But I Thought Andy Was A Cat Person?

21:05 - Does Ruby Give Cat Vibes?

21:12 - What Are Your Favorite Dog Toys?

21:58 - Has Andy Been Giving Ruby More Attention Than Sharleen?

24:38 - Who Watches Ruby When You’re Away?

24:50 - What Is Your Favorite Thing Ruby Does?

26:34 - Have There Been Any Hurdles/What Have You Learned About Yourself?

31:26 - What Kind Of Food Do You Feed Ruby?

31:31 - How Does Ruby React To Sharleen’s Singing?

32:02 - Who Is The Stricter Parent?

32:42 - Nicknames

33:34 - Where Does Ruby Sleep?

34:39 - Is Having A Dog What You Expected?

37:36 - What’s Been The Hardest Part Of Having A Dog?

39:12 - Did You Buy Pet Insurance?

39:15 - Who Is Ruby’s Favorite?

40:44 - How Has Ruby Changed Since You Got Her?

41:04 - How Has Ruby Changed Your Life?

46:44 - In Conclusion

If you have a relationship question, write us at: [email protected]

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Sharleen Joynt - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt

Andy Levine - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

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It's Q&A time! We're back, answering YOUR burning questions! You met your boyfriend shortly after getting laid off—with a new job lined up, is it morally wrong to never tell him about the layoff? If you're single and sharing an Airbnb with couples and even some families, should you pay the same amount for a room in the rental, even if there's only one of you? If your friend unexpectedly invites her boyfriend on your planned girls trip, are you the a-hole if you pull out? And finally, what to do if you simply *dislike* your best friend's fiancé?? Where does Shandy stand on unintentional door slamming? Come join us in our living room for the Shandy take!

Thanks to our sponsors!

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Time Stamps:

0:00 - Introduction

0:53 - Q1: If I Have New Job, Is It Morally Wrong Not To Tell My Boyfriend I Got Laid Off From My Previous Job?

6:22 - Q2: I’m The Single Friend In A Large Trip Of Couples And Their Kids—Am I Being Unreasonable About This Airbnb Split?

14:21 - Q3: My Friend Added Her Boyfriend To Our Girls Trip—AITA For Wanting To Pull Out?

30:53 - Q4: My Boyfriend Bailed On Driving Me To My Hometown & I Had To Pay $$$ For A Flight Instead—AITA For Wanting Him To Help Cover The Cost?

46:07 - Q5: My Best Friend’s Fiancé Is Just “OK”—How Do I Get Over The Fact That She Deserves Better?

If you have a relationship question, write us at: [email protected]

Subscribe and watch the episodes on YouTube! https://bit.ly/SubscribeDearShandy

Follow us!

Dear Shandy - https://www.instagram.com/dearshandy

Sharleen Joynt - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt

Andy Levine - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

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Attachment Styles are at the core of SO many relationship dynamics yet so few of us know much beyond "secure", "anxious", and "avoidant". Isn't it about time we learned WHY we behave the way we do so we can learn how to stop getting in our own way?

We're thrilled today to be joined by Eli Harwood, aka  @attachmentnerd , therapist, author, and attachment theory expert! Eli has amassed a massive following on Instagram with her attachment expertise and analysis. She is the author of "Securely Attached: Transform Your Attachment Patterns Into Loving, Lasting Romantic Relationships" and the upcoming "Raising Securely Attached Kids: Using Connection-Focused Parenting To Create Confidence, Empathy, and Resilience", so we could not be in better hands!

Today Eli breaks down those famed Attachment Patterns (spoiler alert: there's WAY more to this than secure, anxious, and avoidant!) and how and why we as adults behave the way we do in our relationships. (As Andy puts it at one point, Attachment is "EVERYTHING"!) We learn how much of a role gender plays, why some of us are different in platonic vs romantic relationships, and how much is nature vs nurture. There are also parenting questions for our caregiver Shandies out there! Shandy also gets personal with their own experiences that have shaped their own attachment patterns. Finally, the big question: HOW DO WE HEAL? Eli has the answers you've been waiting for and manages to deliver them in the most relatable and easy-to-understand way. As Shandy puts it, you just might see your childhood flash before your eyes! Listen on for a masterclass in YOURSELF. 🤯

Thank you to our sponsors!

- Go to https://www.babbel.com/DEARSHANDY to save up to 60% off your subscription!

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More Eli Harwood, Aka Attachment Nerd:

- Books: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/series/0DV/attachment-nerd/

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd

- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerd

- Website: https://attachmentnerd.com

Time Stamps:

0:00 - Welcome To Eli Harwood, Aka @AttachmentNerd!

3:20 - What Is Attachment Theory?

6:21 - Can I Have More Than One Attachment Style?

9:48 - Attachment Pattern Breakdown

20:38 - Are Our Attachment Styles Set In Stone?

22:43 - Where Or How Do We Heal These Wounds?

26:32 - More Attachment Pattern Breakdown

31:39 - Can I Have BOTH Polar Opposite Attachment Styles?

34:21 - Does The Caregiver’s Gender Matter?

34:31 - How Much Is Nurture Vs Nature?

36:47 - Is There A Connection Between Which Caregiver And Which Type Of Adult Relationship (Eg. Romantic Vs Platonic) ?

38:38 - Shandy Asks Questions For “Friends”

43:23 - Where Does Attachment Rank In Terms Of Difficulty To Change?

45:53 - Is Finding Your “People” A Form Of Healing?

46:28 - Does The Anxious-Avoidant Romantic Dynamic Ever Work? At What Point Is It Not “Worth It”?

57:51 - Tips For Anxious Types When They Spiral In The Wrong Direction

1:02:44 - How To Know If A Child Is Securely Attached

1:04:56 - How Self Aware Is The Parent Who Even Asks These Questions?

1:07:24 - Is Your Grief As Bad As You Think It Is?

1:07:43 - 4 Steps For Raising Securely Attached Kids

1:11:00 - Andy Plays Devil’s Advocate

1:15:36 - What If Your Child Is Behaving Inappropriately?

1:19:39 - Shandy Debrief

If you have a relationship question, write us at: [email protected]

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It's Q&A time! We're back, answering YOUR burning questions! Is marriage necessary, or even at all what it's cracked up to be? If your partner struggles in the friendship department, how can you help? How should you respond to a question you hate being asked? And finally, an epic Am-I-The-Asshole question! Where does Shandy stand on unintentional door slamming? Come join us in our living room for the Shandy take!

Thanks to our sponsors!

- Go to https://jennikayne.com and use code DEARSHANDY to get 15% off your first order!

- Go to https://www.earthbreeze.com/SHANDY for 40% off!

- Go to https://www.cozyearth.com:/SHANDY and use promo code SHANDY to save 35%!

- Go to https://www.FastGrowingTrees.com and use code SHANDY for an additional 15% off!

- Go to https://www.drinkAG1.com/DEARSHANDY to get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase!

Time Stamps:

0:00 - Introduction

1:40 - Q1: To Marry Or Not To Marry?

9:11 - Q2: I Feel Weird Contributing To My Friend’s “Honey Fund” As A Wedding Gift—Thoughts?

18:06 - Q3: Strangers Constantly Ask Me A Question I Hate—How Should I Respond?

31:58 - Q4: My Fiancé Has No Friends—How Can I Help Him?

48:45 - Q5: Am I The Asshole—Door Slamming Edition

If you have a relationship question, write us at: [email protected]

Subscribe and watch the episodes on YouTube! https://bit.ly/SubscribeDearShandy

Follow us!

Dear Shandy - https://www.instagram.com/dearshandy

Sharleen Joynt - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt

Andy Levine - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Caller sessions are BACK, baby! This is our SECOND Caller episode of 2024 (!) and we're thrilled we're joined by a lovely (and lively!) caller named Erin. Erin, whose relationship began with beautifully romantic gesture. However, 2+ months in, there are still kinks that need ironing. Erin is quick to defend her boyfriend, but when are excuses just... excuses? Listen on for the Shandy take!

Thanks to our sponsors!

- Go to https://www.lomi.com/SHANDY and use promo code SHANDY at checkout to save $50!

- Go to https://www.apostrophe.com/SHANDY and use our code SHANDY to get your first visit for only five dollars!

- Go to https://www.squarespace.com/SHANDY for 10% off your first website or domain!

- Go to https://www.rocketmoney.com/SHANDY to save money and cancel unwanted subscriptions the easy way!

- Go to https://www.FastGrowingTrees.com and use code SHANDY at checkout for an additional 15% off!

Time Stamps:

0:00 - Welcome To Caller Erin!

42:39 - Shandy Debrief

If you have a relationship question, write us at: [email protected]

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More Dear Shandy

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More Sharleen

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt

Blog - http://www.alltheprettypandas.com

More Andy

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Produced by Gabrielle Galon - https://www.instagram.com/gabsamillion

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This episode is a surprise all around because Shandy had absolutely zero intention of recapping their experience officiating their friends' wedding. However, on Instagram you requested this with a fiery passion that couldn't be ignored! So today is all about Shandy as WEDDING OFFICIANTS!

As you may know, on Saturday April 26th, 2024, Shandy officiated the wedding of Nick Viall and Natalie Joy, their longtime friends. This episode will contain reflections on the experience, tips (and regrets!) for those planning their own weddings/officiant speeches, unexpected moments, and overall takeaways! Listen on for this unique Dear Shandy episode!

Thanks to our sponsors!

- Go to https://www.FastGrowingTrees.com and use code SHANDY at checkout for an additional 15% off!

- Go to https://www.skims.com/SHANDY and get free shipping on orders over $75!

- Go to https://www.factormeals.com/SHANDY50 and use code SHANDY50 to get 50% off!

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- Go to https://www.drinkAG1.com/DEARSHANDY to get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase!

0:00 - Introduction

2:37 - How/When Did Nick & Natalie Ask You To Be Officiants?

5:58 - How Did You Make The Decision To Officiate As A Couple?

6:10 - Was One Of You The “Official” Officiant?

8:13 - Would You Have Accepted For Any Couple In Your Life Or Only A “Special” Couple?

9:05 - How Did You Prepare?

11:27 - What Sort Of Planning Did You Do With The Couple?

14:50 - Humor

17:20 - How Much Did You Share With The Couple Beforehand?

17:43 - Have Either Of You Ever Officiated A Wedding Before?

17:47 - Since You’ve Known Nick Longer Was It Difficult To Make It Feel Equally Personal For Natalie?

18:59 - Were You Nervous? Who Was More Nervous?

22:55 - Overall Tips/Regrets

25:31 - Did It Make You Nostalgic For Your Own Wedding?

28:58 - Do You Feel More Responsible To Stay Together Now?

29:38 - Can Shandy Officiate My Wedding?

30:40 - How Did You Enter The Ceremony?

30:58 - The Couple’s Vows

31:07 - Unexpected Moment

33:05 - Was The Baby A Part Of The Ceremony?

33:23 - Did Nick Cry?

34:08 - Did You Cry?

35:06 - How Are You Friends With Nick?

38:28 - Did You Ride The Mechanical Bull?

39:09 - Was There Anyone Who Made You Starstruck?

40:22 - Did They Tell You What To Wear?

40:47 - Sharleen’s Looks

44:04 - Did You Bring Ruby?

44:50 - People Article Misspellings

46:44 - What Was Your Favorite Things About Savannah?

48:02 - Overall Thoughts

If you have a relationship question, write us at: [email protected]

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

Subscribe and watch the episodes on YouTube! https://bit.ly/SubscribeDearShandy

Follow us!

Dear Shandy - https://www.instagram.com/dearshandy

Sharleen Joynt - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt

Andy Levine - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's Q&A time! We're back, answering YOUR burning questions! If you have a tumultuous relationship history, is "boring" maybe a good thing? If you feel yourself becoming resentful in your relationship because your sacrifices outnumber your partner's, what to do? And not one, not two, but THREE heavy-hitting platonic friendship questions! What does Shandy consider a "friendship-reconsidering" level crime? Come join us in our living room for the Shandy take!

Thanks to our sponsors!

- Go to https://www.FastGrowingTrees.com and use code SHANDY at checkout for an additional 15% off!

- Go to https://www.zocdoc.com/SHANDY and download the ZocDoc app for FREE!

- Go to https://www.earthbreeze.com/SHANDY for 40% off!

- Go to https://quince.com/shandy for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns!

- Go to https://www.apostrophe.com/SHANDY and use our code SHANDY to get your first visit for only five dollars!

Time Stamps:

0:00 - Q1: Does Healthy = Boring?

10:35 - Q2: My Friend Accused Me Of “Bitching & Complaining” And Our Friendship Is Suddenly Over—What Happened?!

23:50 - Q3: My Friend Moved Out Of Town And Now Zoom-Joins Our In-Person Hangs—Am I The Asshole For Disliking This?

33:46 - Q4: Should I Let My Friend’s Outrageous Wedding Request Make Me See Her Differently?

46:03 - Q5: I’ve Sacrificed More For This Relationship Than My Boyfriend Has And Am Feeling Resentful—Help!

If you have a relationship question, write us at: [email protected]

Subscribe and watch the episodes on YouTube! https://bit.ly/SubscribeDearShandy

Follow us!

Dear Shandy - https://www.instagram.com/dearshandy

Sharleen Joynt - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt

Andy Levine - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

At the heart of so many relationship questions we've received—and relationships in general—is a common thread: EMPATHY. This "healing force", as our esteemed guest calls it, has the power to not only heal our relationships with others, but with ourselves. So why do so few of us understand its powers?

Today we're honored to be joined by THE foremost expert on empathy, Dr. Judith Orloff, dubbed “the godmother of the empath movement.” Dr. Orloff is a board-certified psychiatrist and the New York Times best-selling author of several books, including 2017's landmark "The Empath’s Survival Guide" and her latest, "The Genius of Empathy: Practical Skills to Heal Your Sensitive Self, Your Relationships, and the World". Today she helps dispel the misconceptions around empathy, demonstrates how to draw healthy boundaries, and explains the transformative, healing power of SELF-empathy. She explains why it's OK that your partner isn't the same empathy "type" as you, whether or not you can have too much empathy, and how to approach someone whose beliefs you fundamentally disagree with. Today's conversation is the warm hug you needed and will hopefully inspire healing in your more complicated relationships, especially the one you have with yourself.

Thank you to our sponsor!

- Go to https://www.rocketmoney.com/SHANDY to save money and cancel unwanted subscriptions with just a few taps!

More Dr. Judith Orloff:

- The book, "The Genius Of Empathy": https://bit.ly/3U6uCRk

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/judith.orloff.md

- Website: https://drjudithorloff.com

Time Stamps:

0:00 - Welcome To The Legendary Dr. Judith Orloff!

3:41 - What Is Empathy & Empathy Vs Compassion

5:10 - What Are Her Thoughts On The Term “Empath” Becoming Mainstream?

6:52 - The Biggest Misconceptions About Empathy

10:32 - Drawing Boundaries

16:19 - Is Empathy Something We’re Born With? Nature Vs Nurture

17:31 - Can One Really Become *More* Empathic?

20:38 - The Empathy Types

23:13 - Mismatched Empathy In Relationships

29:19 - Tips For Self Empathy

31:24 - How Can I Make Empathy Work In A Way That Isn’t Ultimately To My Disadvantage?

34:04 - Is Self Awareness A Prerequisite to Self Empathy?

34:54 - Tips For Avoiding Empathy-Deficient Types

37:10 - When It Feels Like Someone Doesn’t Deserve Empathy

39:19 - Empathy Vs Enablement

43:29 - Is There Such A Thing As Too Much Empathy?

45:12 - Sharleen’s Takeaways

46:11 - Tips For Empathizing With Someone Whose Beliefs You Fundamentally Disagree With

49:06 - Shandy Debrief

If you have a relationship question, write us at: [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Just 3 weeks after our Love Fest with Gerry Turner and Theresa Nist, the couple announced in a Good Morning America interview that, after only 3 months of marriage, they're getting divorced. Many of you wanted to hear our take on this bombshell news, particularly in the wake of such a recent Love Fest. So today, in a first-of-its-kind bonus episode, we're answering your burning questions Q&A style.

Thanks to our sponsors!

- Go to https://www.cozyearth.com and use promo code SHANDY at checkout to save 35%!

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- Go to https://www.lomi.com/SHANDY and use promo code SHANDY at checkout to save $50!

- Go to https://www.FastGrowingTrees.com and use code SHANDY at checkout for an additional 15% off!

Our Love Fest with Gerry and Theresa:

https://youtu.be/hWCr91mBGb0?si=y_xga_xJH9MhReo3

Referenced "bet" of Andy's:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Ce-GWUtDbhq/?igsh=Znhkamk2bGhrNDAw

Time Stamps:

0:00 - Introduction

2:41 - How Shocked Is Shandy?

6:46 - When Did You Record The Love Fest With Gerry & Theresa?

7:29 - Was Dear Shandy The Source Of The Tea That They Were Living Apart?

10:07 - Why Do You Think It Didn’t Work Out?

16:20 - When Recording The Love Fest, Did You Sense Anything Was Off?

20:28 - Do You Think They Were Honest On Your Love Fest?

20:39 - Did ABC Push Them To Come On Dear Shandy?

21:20 - Is There A Dear Shandy Love Fest Curse?

26:07 - Did Andy Bet Money On How Long They Would Last?

27:00 - Do You Think 3 Months Was Enough To Determine It Wouldn’t Work?

27:10 - If You Two Met At Gerry & Theresa’s Age And Lived Far Apart, What Would You Have Done?

29:00 - Does This Make You Love The Golden Bachelor Less?

29:44 - Do You Think Gerry Will Get Back Together With Leslie?

30:25 - Should Golden Bachelor Follow A Love Is Blind Format And Cast People From The Same City?

31:06 - Should The Franchise Scrap Golden Bachelorette?

32:27 - Why Do You Think They Did The Televised Wedding & Do You Think Production Feels Guilty?

34:37 - Bonus Question 

35:03 - Closing Thoughts

If you have a relationship question, write us at: [email protected]

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More Dear Shandy

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Facebook - https://fb.me/dearshandy

More Sharleen

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt

Blog - http://www.alltheprettypandas.com

More Andy

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Produced by Gabrielle Galon - https://www.instagram.com/gabsamillion

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.