Dear Shandy

It's a 2-for-1 Caller Day! Today's first caller, Nicki, is in the thick of wedding planning, and while she and her fiancé agree on just about everything, they don't see eye to eye on wedding vows. He wants to opt out of writing them at all. Should she insist or prioritize his comfort zone?

Our second caller, Kate, finds herself involved in a confusing "friendship", years after extricating herself from the emotionally manipulative ex they have in common. How should she handle this relationship, and should she be concerned by the old emotions that still seem to linger? Listen on for the Shandy take!

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- Go to https://www.cozyearth.com and use code SHANDY for 35% off all bedding and loungewear!

Time Stamps:

0:00 - Welcome To Caller Nicki!

23:35 - Shandy Debrief

32:00 - Welcome To Caller Kate!

1:04:06 - Shandy Debrief

If you have a relationship question, write us at: [email protected]

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Blog - http://www.alltheprettypandas.com

More Andy

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Produced by Gabrielle Galon - https://www.instagram.com/gabsamillion

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Shandy is back with Bachelorette(s) Season 19 recaps! Today we're breaking down the premiere.

Thanks to our sponsors!

- Go to https://www.feals.com/SHANDY to get 50% off your first month of premium CBD delivered directly to your door!

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Time Stamps:

0:00 - Housekeeping

2:42 - Overall Thoughts

9:08 - Intro Videos (Or Lack Therof)

9:58 - Opening

13:46 - Night One

19:36 - Limo Exit Wins/Fails

26:13 - Notable 1-On-1 Time

41:10 - First Impression Roses

42:25 - Eliminations

50:39 - Rose Ceremony

52:33 - Credits

53:04 - Andy's A-Game (New Segment!)

55:23 - Shandy Word Watch

57:49 - Predictions: Gabby

1:06:02 - Wild Cards: Gabby

1:07:21 - Predictions: Rachel

1:12:50 - Wild Cards: Rachel

If you have a relationship question, write us at: [email protected]

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More Sharleen

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt

Blog - http://www.alltheprettypandas.com

More Andy

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Produced by Gabrielle Galon - https://www.instagram.com/gabsamillion

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's Q&A time! We're back, answering YOUR burning questions! Is it a dealbreaker if a guy asks you to Venmo him for your first date together? Is it reasonable to expect your date to be as invested in safe sex as you are? Where's the line between sharing the laughs and respecting your partner? Finally, a beautiful letter written by a Shandy. Come join us in our living room for the Shandy take! 

Thanks to our sponsors!

- Go to https://www.prose.com/SHANDY for your free in-depth hair consultation and use code SHANDY for 15% off your first order of custom hair care!

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0:00 - Q1: My Date Asked Me To Venmo Him Back For Our First Date—Is This Weird?

11:40 - Q2: How Can I Make Sure HIs Parents Like Me?

24:50 - Q3: I'm East Asian And My New Guy Has A History Of Mainly Dating East Asians—Am I Being Fetishized? 

38:18 - Q4: Is It Reasonable In A New Relationship To Expect Both Partners To Make An Equal Effort In Protection?

56:37 - Q5: My Boyfriend's Upset I Shared His "Personal Medical Information" With Our Friends—Am I The Asshole?

1:09:49 - A Shandy's Letter

If you have a relationship question, write us at: [email protected]

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

Subscribe and watch the episodes on YouTube! https://bit.ly/SubscribeDearShandy

Follow us!

Dear Shandy - https://www.instagram.com/dearshandy

Sharleen Joynt - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt

Andy Levine - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's Caller Day! Today's lovely caller, Emily, is at her wit's end. Her boyfriend still lives with his ex, and while he has his reasons, she's wondering how patient she should be. At what point is having empathy detrimental to our own selves, and is this relationship automatically doomed by its rocky start? Listen on for the Shandy take!

Thanks to our sponsors!

- Go to https://www.zocdoc.com/SHANDY and sign up for free to book a top-rated doctor!

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Time Stamps:

0:00 - Welcome To Caller Emily!

49:06 - Shandy Debrief

If you have a relationship question, write us at: [email protected]

Support Dear Shandy: https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

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More Dear Shandy

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More Sharleen

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt

Blog - http://www.alltheprettypandas.com

More Andy

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Produced by Gabrielle Galon - https://www.instagram.com/gabsamillion

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is Sharleen's all-time favorite Hot Topic conversation. You will probably also learn more about Andy's mind and thought process here than in any other episode Shandy's ever done. Are you deeply moved by sad music? Do you find comfort in a rainy day? Does the word "poignant" resonate with you? If you answered "yes" to these, you just may be the Bittersweet type. (Spoiler alert: so are both Sharleen and Andy!) According to our esteemed guest, author Susan Cain: "Bittersweetness is a tendency to states of long­ing, poignancy, and sorrow; an acute aware­ness of passing time; and a curiously piercing joy at the beauty of the world." She argues there's great power in the bittersweet outlook on life and why our society has been so blind to its value. We discuss everything from being inherently melancholic in a happiness-obsessed culture, to navigating being a Bittersweet type's partner, to several existential questions of Andy's.To say this episode was a highlight of Shandy's near two years of podcasting is an understatement. And be sure to listen to the Shandy Debrief to understand why speaking with Susan meant so much to Sharleen!

Thanks to our sponsors!

- Download the free Upside app and use code SHANDY to get up to $5 cash back off your first purchase of $10 or more!

- Go to https://www.apostrophe.com/SHANDY and use code SHANDY to get your first dermatology visit for only $5!

More Susan:

- Buy "Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole": https://amzn.to/3OxeUdN

- Buy "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking": https://amzn.to/3QFXeyv

- Instagram: http://instagram.com/susancainauthor

- Website: https://susancain.net

0:00 - Welcome To Our Esteemed Guest, Author Susan Cain!

3:21 - What Does “Bittersweet” Mean?

4:35 - What Strengths And Weaknesses Do Bittersweets Have And How Do Those Play Out In Relationships?

6:56 - Advice For Non-Bittersweets In Relationships With Bittersweets?

9:50 - Is There A Correlation Between Bittersweetness And Introversion?

11:24 - Sad Songs And Lullabies And Fragility And Mortality

21:35 - Are Some People More Predisposed To Melancholy And Is It Cultural?

26:41 - Is Sadness More Potent An Emotion Than Happiness Or Contentment?

29:27 - Is There A Correlation Between Bittersweetness And Intelligence?

31:37 - Is It Possible To Be Truly Happy And A Great Artist?

33:55 - Are We Sadder Than We Would Be If We Weren’t In A Happiness-Obsessed Society?

35:53 - What Might Bittersweetness Or Melancholy Actually Be Depression?

38:14 - How Can One Overcome The Fear Of Joy When Joy Is Fleeting And The Loss Of Joy Hurts More Than Joy Itself?

40:22 - Is It Possible To Let Go Of All Of Life’s What-Ifs?

42:00 - Is Ignorance Of The Bittersweet Bliss, Or Is Bliss Discovered Through The Bittersweet?

43:57 - Without Death, Would There Be Human Motivation To Do Anything Ambitious?

45:29 - Andy’s Dark “Would You Rather” Question

52:14 - Awareness Versus Acceptance Of Importance

54:13 - Is One Of The Reasons For Today’s Prevalence Of Mental Health Issues Because Parents Are Not Giving Children A Proper Version Of Reality?

57:46 - Her Advice For Finding Purpose And Motivation After A Long Period Of Sadness

1:00:05- From A Shandy: “I Feel The Most Sadness After I Make A Big Life Decision, Even When I know It’s The Right Choice. Why Is This?”

1:03:49 - Tips For How To Not Absorb Others’ Grief

1:05:14 - Another Existential Question Of Andy’s

1:08:50 - Shandy’s Final And Self-Indulgent Question

1:13:10 - Shandy Debrief

If you have a relationship question, write us at: [email protected]

Support this podcast: https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

More Dear Shandy

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More Sharleen

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt

Blog - http://www.alltheprettypandas.com

More Andy

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Produced by Gabrielle Galon - https://www.instagram.com/gabsamillion

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's Q&A time! We're back, answering YOUR burning questions! If you like the guy but not his style, is it superficial to want to change it? Andy has long said the "maturity threshold" for men is age 36—does he have an age equivalent for women? And is refusing to go down on your partner a potential dealbreaker in the world of dating? Come join us in our living room for the Shandy take! 

Thanks to our sponsors!

- Go to https://www.hellofresh.com/SHANDY16 and use code SHANDY16 to get up to 16 free meals, plus 3 free gifts!

- Go to https://www.squarespace.com/SHANDY and use code SHANDY for 10% off your first website or domain!

- Go to https://www.truebill.com/SHANDY to cancel unwanted subscriptions with one tap!

- Go to https://www.hellotushy.com/SHANDY and use code SHANDY for 10% off plus free shipping!

0:00 - Q1: What Is The Straight Woman's Equivalent To Andy's "You're Not A Mature Man Until Age 36"?

11:12 - Q2: When Can I Tell My Friend She Sucks At Dating?

26:44 - Q3: I Have Zero Interest In Giving A Blowjob—Shandy's Thoughts?

39:59 - Q4: I Was A Covid Bride And Can't Decide If We Should Have A Wedding Do-Over—Shandy's Thoughts?

54:51 - Q5: I Like My New Guy But I Hate His Style—Am I Superficial For Wanting To Change It?

1:01:16 - Q6: My Husband And I Squabble Over The Fact That I Don't Like Hanging With His Friend—Thoughts?

If you have a relationship question, write us at: [email protected]

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

Subscribe and watch the episodes on YouTube! https://bit.ly/SubscribeDearShandy

Follow us!

Dear Shandy - https://www.instagram.com/dearshandy

Sharleen Joynt - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt

Andy Levine - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's Love Fest time! 🎉 Today we're joined by a true ambassador for body positivity, Sarah Nicole Landry, and her partner in crime, her husband Shane Landry.

You already know Sarah from her massive The Birds Papaya empire, spanning her Instagram, blog, app, and podcast, and we're thrilled Shane agreed to join so we could talk the dynamics of their partnership in true Shandy fashion! We learn about their "high school"-like courtship, how parenting four (yes, FOUR!) children affects their relationship, how their prior divorces influenced their mindset in dating, and of course, how they FIGHT! Finally, a Newlyweds Game outcome we were not expecting! Who knows who better? Listen on to find out!

Thanks to our sponsors!

- Go to https://www.hellotushy.com/SHANDY and use code SIXNINE to get the Hello Tushy bidet for only $69 (30% off) when you buy 2 or more!

- Go to https://www.feals.com/SHANDY to get 50% off your first month of premium CBD delivered directly to your door!

- Go to https://www.cozyearth.com and use code SHANDY for 35% off all bedding and loungewear!

- Go to https://www.apostrophe.com/SHANDY and use code SHANDY to get your first dermatology visit for only $5!

More Sarah:

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thebirdspapaya

The Papaya Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-papaya-podcast/id1469615517

The Birds Papaya Blog - https://thebirdspapaya.com

The Pink Papaya App - https://www.instagram.com/pinkpapayaapp

More Shane:

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/i_m_fury

0:00 - Welcome To Sarah And Shane!

3:12 - How They Met

6:01 - First Impressions

20:30 - How They Complement Each Other

25:57 - Early Hurdle

31:42 - Jealousy

36:37 - Divorce

46:35 - How They Fight

59:40 - How Parenthood Plays Into Their Partnership & How Shane Grew Into Being A Father Figure To Sarah's First 3 Children

1:06:11 - The Newlyweds Game

1:16:36 - Shandy Debrief

If you have a relationship question, write us at: [email protected]

Support Dear Shandy: https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

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More Sharleen

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt

Blog - http://www.alltheprettypandas.com

More Andy

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Produced by Gabrielle Galon - https://www.instagram.com/gabsamillion

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

And just like that... it's Caller Day again! Today's lovely caller, Taylor, was in a passionate romance that felt like The One. But when she confronted her partner about something that made her uncomfortable, things unraveled pretty quickly. Who was in the right, and did she overreact or execute poorly? And looking bigger picture, was this relationship always doomed? Listen on for the Shandy take!

0:00 - Welcome to Caller Taylor!

45:50 - Shandy Debrief

If you have a relationship question, write us at: [email protected]

Support Dear Shandy: https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

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More Dear Shandy

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Facebook - https://fb.me/dearshandy

More Sharleen

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt

Blog - http://www.alltheprettypandas.com

More Andy

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Produced by Gabrielle Galon - https://www.instagram.com/gabsamillion

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today we have the pleasure of speaking with Blair, the “exvangelical” brains behind @TalkPurityToMe, a humorous account dedicated to unlearning the shame taught by purity culture, both on Instagram and TikTok. Purity culture, based on the belief that sex should be had only within heterosexual marriage and that all lustful thoughts before marriage are sinful, has been a theme among our Shandies' questions, so we're excited to finally have a conversation on the topic. 

With Blair's help, we unpack everything from how to go from sex being bad to suddenly a beautiful part of marriage, navigating judgment from friends and family, and the ways in which purity culture resembles abuse. If you're currently struggling to shed the shame "purity" has cursed you with, or if you experience shame but aren't exactly sure where it comes from, today's conversation just might be for you.

Thanks to our sponsors!

- Go to https://www.talkspace.com and use code SHANDY to get $100 off your first month of therapy!

- Go to https://www.zocdoc.com/SHANDY and sign up for free to book a top-rated doctor!

- Go to https://www.squarespace.com/SHANDY and use code SHANDY for 10% off your first website or domain!

More Blair:

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/talkpuritytome

- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talkpuritytome

Time stamps:

0:00 - Welcome to Talk Purity To Me's Blair!

2:52 - Defining Purity Culture

4:54 - Blair's History With Purity Culture

10:10 - How Far Into Her Own "Deconstruction Process" Is She And Does She Still Struggle?

13:12 - Her First Sexual Experience

14:04 - What Inspired Her To Start An Account Dedicated To Unlearning Purity Culture?

15:35 - How Have Her Family And Friends Reacted?

20:39 - What Are The Most Common Themes She's Seen In Terms Of The Damage Purity Culture Can Cause?

23:52 - Has She Found A Stronger Response From A Particular Age Range?

24:14 - Have Any Responses She's Gotten Taken Her By Surprise?

25:48 - Are There Any Less Obvious Ways She Thinks Purity Culture Manifests?

27:05 - Tips For Shedding The Deeply Ingrained Mindset That Sex = Shame

29:17 - Do People Who Leave Purity Culture Tend To Swing In The Opposite Direction?

32:21 - Tips For Being More Open-Minded Sexually

35:53 - What Advice Would She Give To Someone Staying With Their First Sexual Partner Solely Due To Their History With Purity Culture?

40:28 - Tips For Trusting Your Intuition/Hearing That Inner Voice

42:06 - Was There A Pivotal Moment That Changed Her Mindset?

49:03 - Her Advice To Anyone Wanting To Go On Their Own "Deconstruction" Journey While Maintaining Meaningful Relationships With Loved Ones

51:30 - What Is Her Relationship With Christianity Like Today?

56:24 - Does She Think There's A Correlation Between Being Raised In Purity Culture And Difficulty Orgasming?

57:24 - Does She Consider Purity Culture A Form Of Abuse?

59:02 - Does It Ever Get Better?

1:01:07 - Shandy Debrief

If you have a relationship question, write us at: [email protected]

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

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More Dear Shandy

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dearshandy

Facebook - https://fb.me/dearshandy

More Sharleen

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt

Blog - http://www.alltheprettypandas.com

More Andy

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Produced by Gabrielle Galon - https://www.instagram.com/gabsamillion

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's Q&A time! We're back, answering YOUR burning questions! Does "The Ick" speak to good instincts or just being overly picky? Should we trust that if a man wants to make a move, he will? Is sending an ex a letter always a bad call or are there exceptions? Finally, a great "Am I An Asshole?" question. (Turns out we like those!) Come join us in our living room for the Shandy take! 

Thanks to our sponsors!

- Go to https://www.fahertybrand.com/DEARSHANDY and use code DEARSHANDY for 20% off your Spring staples!

- Go to https://www.truebill.com/SHANDY to cancel unwanted subscriptions with one tap!

- Go to https://www.hellotushy.com/SHANDY and use code SHANDY for 10% off plus free shipping!

- Go to https://www.apostrophe.com/SHANDY and use code SHANDY to get your first dermatology visit for only $5!

0:00 - Q1: I Always Seem To Catch The "Ick" From My Dates—Am I Being Too Picky?

18:31 - Q2: Is "If He Wanted To, He Would?" Always True?

33:08 - Q3: My Engagement Ended Recently And I Want To Send My Ex A Letter—Yay or Nay?

57:32 - Q4: I'm Dating A Guy My Girlfriend Introduced Me To And She Doesn't Speak To Me Anymore—What's Shandy's Take? 

1:18:25 - Q5: To Kill Or Not To Kill?

If you have a relationship question, write us at: [email protected]

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

Subscribe and watch the episodes on YouTube! https://bit.ly/SubscribeDearShandy

Follow us!

Dear Shandy - https://www.instagram.com/dearshandy

Sharleen Joynt - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt

Andy Levine - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.