Dear So and So

I love an all-white interior, but sometimes my elite guests spill red wine on our carpets and couches. Can we serve champagne and champagne only from now on? My boss is trying to get us to stop saying um, uh, and like by reprimanding us at a company-wide event we call "The Shaming." Um, is that, like, even possible? And: Is it wrong or is it right to mix two half-pots of old coffee?

Am I wrong to feel violated after I was undercover bossed? How did this email chain become the place to performatively thank the host, and why wasn't I bcc'd? Plus, a call in about a long-lost chocolate cake found.

Someone spilled the tea with me while I was drunk, zoned out, and staring into the middle distance, how do I get them to tell me that hot goss again? How do I get my mom to stop telling me to meditate? Plus, a listener seeks advice after an awkward Zoom meet-up for dogs.

Can a friendship ever recover after someone's asked "what's the catch"? Should our mom jeans embarrass us? How do we stop our friend from coming over without asking or knocking? Plus: Steph and Alyssa answer YOUR themed bathroom questions.

Can you give me one good comeback I can use all the time? My friend said I was "sparkly," how do I extract revenge? I supervise a witch who's putting curses on the other employees—help! Plus, is it possible to be in a relationship with someone who makes a podcast?

My teenage sons hate my immaculately curated One Direction themed bathroom, do I have to redecorate? Does wearing shorts in winter make me a “bad influence”? Also, whenever a customer is an unreasonable jerk, my supervisor will pretend to fire me on the spot just to watch them squirm. It’s hilarious. Is it ethical?

Can I ask my neighbor to replace the robo-vacuum he exploded, even though this robo-vacuum was my pal and truly irreplaceable? Are we ever too old to LOL? Plus, a sister-in-law is inconsolable over a deep-fried pickle. We do our best, but she sounds really upset.

How early do you greet a coworker from the other end of a long hallway? How should my restaurant prevent salt and pepper shaker theft? When someone clinks a glass and hijacks everyone's attention, is there anything I can do to take back the floor?

I hate when my neighbor waves to me from her Range Rover, how do I get her to stop? How much stock should I put in signs? Also, we tackle a real-life hypothetical and answer a question from the year 2121.

Is it embarrassing to tell somebody you've purchased a first-class ticket? Why does my son's girlfriend refuse to do "kitchen work" with me? I'm loud, I've always been loud, is there anything I can do? Plus: the final word on the yarmulke discount and a listener explains Florida.