Susan, your host, welcomes Catherine McNulty to today’s episode, this time not as a guest but as a coach specializing in grief. In this episode, Susan and Catherine answer listeners’ questions on grief as fellow grievers and share their insights and tips on navigating particular aspects of the grief journey.

 

Key Takeaways:

• Testimony: Losing a 16-year-old daughter to suicide and dealing with people’s questions can be retraumatizing. Her mother finds herself avoiding talking about her daughter to prevent these saddening and disruptive questions. Feedback: - Guilt and shame are triggered by these comments, making the grieving process much harder. Sometimes people ask questions just to feel it won’t happen to them. - Speak your truth! There is nothing impolite about educating people about what hurts you, setting boundaries, and guarding them. - You can always walk away from an uncomfortable conversation, and protect your energy. - Show the world who your daughter really was, and be inspired by your grief to honor the person you love! - Find your community and connect with more people.

• Testimony: A widow who has lost her husband to cancer is having problems communicating with his family that, while he was alive were disengaged, but as soon he received the diagnosis, got close and overly involved, disrupting the time between her and her husband. Now that he has passed, they want his things, that his widow wants for their children, who were always there for their father, in health and in sickness. She wishes to maintain the relationship because these are his children’s grandparents. Feedback: - Do not feel bad for the way you feel! You are angry and resentful, you are entitled; it is your husband and the father of your children who passed away, don’t give away anything that is going to hurt your heart. - Release your anger and resentment to them as a gift of love to yourself (not to them). - Set boundaries, grieve on your terms, following your timing; this is your story and no one can tell you what or how to be and do you! - It is OK to be distant from the parents of your husband, you can allow them to be part of the children’s lives (depending on their age) without having to be involved in situations that are not good for you (it is also an opportunity to model healthy boundary setting to your children.) - Do what feels good to you!

 

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

 

Meet Catherine McNulty

After losing her infant son in 2011, Catherine embarked on a journey to do more than survive grief. The loss forever changed the trajectory of her life and sent her looking for meaning and purpose in the life she was given. She channeled the love for her son into her own healing, self-growth, and personal empowerment. Today, she has created a framework for grief that disrupts conventional ways of looking at loss. She challenges her clients to step outside of a victim mindset and regain control of how they navigate grief. She teaches how to grow through grief and encourages speaking openly about grief to break down the walls of silence around grief. Catherine lives in San Diego with her family where she speaks, writes, and offers coaching to those who want to do more than just survive grief. She is a board member of Empty Cradle and volunteers at Miracle Babies and the Ronald McDonald House. Her business, Grief INSPIRED supports those who are grieving and guides them to create a new normal that honors the ones they’ve lost.

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