Deconstructing Yourself
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Deconstructing Yourself episodes

  • Culadasa on Meditation and Therapy

    In this special episode, Culadasa talks about the domains of meditation and psychotherapy, where their areas of effectiveness overlap and where they don’t. He also shares a powerful personal story of his own emotional processing work after awakening—why it was needed and how it helped.

    Culadasa has been practicing Buddhist meditation for over four decades, and is the director of Dharma Treasure Buddhist Sangha, where he teaches meditation and Buddhism from a modern, progressive scientific perspective. His groundbreaking book, The Mind Illuminated is a modern road map to Buddhist meditation for a Western audience which combines age-old wisdom teachings of the Buddha with the latest research in cognitive psychology and neuroscience.

    Dharma Treasure website: https://dharmatreasure.org/

    Dr. Douglas Tataryn’s website: The Bio-emotive Framework


    Show Notes

    0:25 – Introduction

    2:54 – Michael opens up the intended direction of this show, what meditation can improve and heal and what psychology can improve and heal, where the two might overlap, and places that maybe only psychology can handle.

    4:35 – Culadasa begins discussing how inner conflicts and baggage are brought to the surface and handled in the meditation system described in The Mind Illuminated.

    10:47 – Minimizing psychological distress when beginning to have insight experiences.

    13:52 – Different effects of samatha versus vipassana on noticing and working with difficult psychological material; how the arising of such material may unfold in Culadasa’s meditation system.

    19:48 – The necessity of sati and introspective awareness in samatha practice to eliminate dullness and trigger purifications; how to progress from attending to bodily sensations, to emotions, to any associated mental content.

    23:32 – Practicing samatha in the way it was intended to be practiced is training the mind in vipassana at the same time.

    27:25 – Spiritual bypassing – how people with high meditative skill can fail to notice harmful behavior patterns; how the changes that awakening brings can make it easier to bypass difficult material.

    33:23 – Culadasa’s health journey and first meeting with an integral oncologist.

    41:32 – Example of using bio-emotive therapy and noticing somatic reactions; how Culadasa’s practice had downweighted negative emotions and this type of therapy helped to reconnect with them.

    45:14 – How path attainments affect the sense of self; how older structures in the brain linked up with newer emotional structures and created the sense of self.

    50:00 – How certain patterns became established in Culadasa’s life and were then uncovered with bio-emotive therapy; viewing these patterns as different personalities.

    58:34 – Repeating unhealthy patterns despite having an advanced meditation practice; how the Dharma itself can provide some rationalization for such behaviors when their root in unresolved psychological material isn’t recognized.

    1:04:04 – Culadasa describes his current status, feeling highly resolved with his patterns after becoming aware of and working with them, and essentially being in remission from cancer.

    1:05:34 – Psychology as an integrated part of the practice of meditation; the possibility of merging psychology and Dharma in the West; the importance of somatic work and treating the body/mind as one unit.

    1:09:39 – Differences in how forms of Buddhism have treated the area of emotions; using current science to go beyond what previous traditions have had access to; taking people beyond normal states of dysfunction to states of minimal to no dysfunction.

    1:14:25 – Outro


    You can read a transcription of the entire show here.


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    1 hr 19 min
  • Meditation for the End of Civilization, with Rick Hanson, Ph.D.

    Host Michael W. Taft speaks with bestselling author and meditation teacher Rick Hanson about how to maintain resilience in the face of the coming potential collapse of civilization, the problem with agriculture, meditation methods to build inner strengths, Rick’s upcoming book Neuro-dharma, and more.

    Rick Hanson, PhD, is a psychologist, Senior Fellow of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, and New York Times best-selling author. His books include Buddha’s Brain, Hardwiring Happiness, and the new book Resilient. Rick began meditating in 1974, has trained in several traditions, and teaches at meditation centers around the world.


    Show Notes

    0:25 – Introduction

    1:56 – Michael talks about Rick’s background in meditation and his public persona, then introduces the topic for this episode, the potentially apocalyptic future

    7:30 – How growing strengths and resources inside, and turning states into traits, gets trivialized as ‘positive psychologizing’

    12:59 – Punctuated equilibrium: things tend to go along steadily until the bottom drops out; knowing that apocalyptic scenarios can occur, giving thought to what one can do that’s rational, given one’s values, resources, karmas and responsibilities in life

    16:54 – The game-changing threats of thermonuclear exchange, runaway AI, totalitarian regimes exploiting surveillance technology and genetic engineering, climate change

    21:03 – Working in practice with impermanence and remembrance of death

    26:36 – “Time held me green and dying, though I sang in my chains like the sea” – claiming to oneself again and again, in the face of forces that make one feel powerless, what one can do inside one’s own mind; counteracting learned helplessness

    35:09 – The balance of compassion and equanimity in facing death and environmental destruction; different paths to developing compassion and equanimity

    46:15 – How the move away from living in small hunter-gatherer bands changed people’s relationship with governance; the lack of common welfare, common truth, and common justice

    54:33 – Reclaiming healthy human politics; valuing truth and shutting down attacks on truth; encouraging the pooling of resources among nonprofits with a common cause

    1:05:04 – Rick’s upcoming book, Neuro-dharma; short description of the seven practices in the book which stimulate and strengthen the underlying neural basis for wholesome, transformative qualities of mind

    1:14:25 – Outro


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    1 hr 14 min
  • The Liberating Practice of the Fire Kasina, with Daniel Ingram

    Author and meditation teacher Daniel Ingram speaks with host Michael W. Taft about how the Fire Kasina practice can be used as an insight practice. Subjects include: the background of kasina practice in the Thervada tradition, using kasinas to go into jhana, how vipassana practice interacts with jhana practice, meditation on the Three Characteristics, and detailed instructions for doing the Fire Kasina practice

    Daniel Ingram is an emergency medicine physician and long-time dharma practitioner. He is the author of the seminal text Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha — now out in its second edition- and also the main force behind the radical dharmaoverground website, which specializes in a brand of unusually-frank discussion of meditation.

    The book Michael mentions is Theravada Meditation by Winston King

    Daniel explains how jhanas and ñanas can be matched across systems in this video.

    The Fire Kasina website


    Show Notes

    0:25 – Introduction

    2:13 – Michael’s experience with the fire kasina at Denman Island, realizing the practice can lead to awakening

    5:34 – Setting the general context for using any kind of kasina, and how it fits in with Theravada practice

    9:25 – How and why Daniel started kasina practice, objects he used; whether there’s something special about the fire kasina

    14:22 – Elemental imbalance, taking other elements (air, water, earth) besides fire; once you can do one element really well, you can get all the other colors and elements

    17:00 – Using kasina practice to enter the jhanas or develop jhanic factors; how insight slips into concentration practices

    21:21 – Beginning to describe the stages of working with a fire kasina, and what it means for jhanic factors (and the nanas)

    23:48 – The appearance of the red dot nimitta and its characteristics

    27:45 – The first jhanic factors that come with tracking and steadying the red dot nimitta; changes in the color of the nimitta and the dropping of sustained thought (being second jhanic factors); the second vipassana jhana’s correlation with the Arising and Passing Away

    30:33 – The appearance of the black/dark dot and entering the murk; the gifts and challenges of practicing with the murk; Neko’s triad of patience, faith, and curiosity

    37:57 – Learning color, image, and movement control in the murk; bringing in insight elements

    42:08 – Exiting the murk and entering fourth jhanic territory; what the transition from third to fourth jhana looks like

    47:20 – Things a practitioner can look for to know when they’ve made the transition to fourth jhana / fourth jhanic factors

    52:22 – Descriptions of the first through fourth ‘screens’, how the screens don’t perfectly correlate with the jhanas

    54:16 – Moving from fourth jhanic territory to awakening; cultivating the three characteristics

    1:02:50 – The challenge of taking the fire kasina to the immaterial type jhanas

    1:04:38 – What’s most exciting to Daniel about this practice and why he continues to do it

    1:09:21 – Community and learning resources for people who want to work with kasina practice; warnings about doing the practice intensely or without a support system when one has a serious mental health diagnosis

    1:14:51 – Outro


    You can support the creation of future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.


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    1 hr 16 min
  • Meditation, Madness, and Psychology, with Tucker Peck

    Tucker Peck, meditation teacher and clinical psychologist, talks with host Michael Taft about how whether awakening (both in the traditional “stream entry” sense or in other definitions) actually “fixes” a person’s psychology or not. Topics include: the validity of the Progress of Insight model, Tucker’s hellacious Dark Night experience and the dukkha ñanas in general, when to switch from shamatha to vipassana practice, whether people who have mental illness should practice meditation, and much more.

    Tucker Peck, Ph.D., is a meditation teacher and clinical psychologist whose specialties include working with advanced meditators and using meditation to help those suffering from psychological disorders. Tucker is a published author on the scientific study of meditation, focusing on how meditation affects the brain and is a faculty member of the University of Arizona College of Medicine. Tucker was also a founding board member of Culadasa’s Dharma Treasure sangha.

    Tucker Peck’s website


    Show Notes

    0:25 – Introduction

    2:54 – Tucker’s teaching activities, how his background in clinical psychology influences teaching meditation

    5:26 – The myth that you can lose your psychology/personality/emotions by meditating enough; getting smacked in the face with emotions on retreat

    8:29 – How Tucker got into meditation; hitting A&P, and the heart opening

    13:43 – How Tucker got into clinical psychology; his long Dark Night experience, and using choiceless awareness to get out of it

    23:49 – Progressing towards first path; magga phala; how seeing nonself changed the experience of practice

    29:23 – How stable attention helps mitigate Dark Night effects; purification through samatha

    33:43 – Tucker’s challenges learning to practice with The Mind Illuminated; description of the TMI stages; when to introduce vipassana practices

    41:19 – Whether Tucker’s students are getting stream entry and whether the samatha-first way of working mitigates Dark Night effects in his students; the fetter model, and having only positive emotions

    45:47 – The potential for spiritual bypassing with attainment; “wake up, clean up, grow up”; the equanimity windshield; the need for unbiased feedback about one’s behavior and how it’s affecting people

    55:17 – Working with mental content outside of meditation, through psychotherapy; will meditation practice help people who have mental illness?; modifying the practice for people with bipolar or manic symptoms, etc.

    1:03:25 – Tucker’s experience of the path model; reduction in craving; seeming to go from dramatic changes back to normalcy, but with life altering differences; the individuality of each person’s path of purification

    1:12:28 – Outro


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    1 hr 13 min
  • Embodying Awakening, with Mukti

    Nondual spiritual teacher Mukti talks with host Michael Taft about the debate between the Direct and Progressive paths of realization, working with energetics and embodiment, her childhood background in the Self Realization Fellowship of Paramahansa Yogananada, pointing out the sense of space in realization, her own experience of awakening, and more.

    Mukti is a spiritual teacher, whose name originates in Sanskrit and is most often translated as “liberation.” Mukti has been the Associate Teacher of Open Gate Sangha since 2004 and has been a student of her husband, Adyashanti, since he began teaching in 1996, when they founded Open Gate Sangha together. In addition to her teachings, Mukti offers talks, dialogues, silent retreats, private meetings, and online broadcasts and courses.

    https://www.muktisource.org/about-mukti


    Show Notes

    0:25 – Introduction

    2:24 – Mukti’s teaching activities and retreat offerings

    4:00 – How Mukti came to be involved in teaching through Adyashanti; prior experiences with Yogananda and how those impact her current work; the differences of approach between the progressive paths and the direct path teachings

    13:49 – Moving from a sense of a separate self into wholeness/oneness, followed by a return to the sense of distinct forms of self, other, and experience; coming back into distinction in a healthy way, seeing through conditioning that’s based in a sense of assumed separation

    17:39 – The mistake of interpreting teachings on the initial recognition of self as the ultimate fix; practitioners’ reluctance to attend to things that are difficult; revisiting and working with old patterns through the thinking mind and on an energetic level in the body

    25:37 – Whether people are more often having awakening moments and then spending a lot of time trying to integrate them, or building up to awakening through embodiment teachings

    30:27 – Mukti describes her awakening experience; working on the embodied aspect of holding that awakening

    36:19 – Physical issues like fibromyalgia and stomach issues after awakening; how some people with deep awakenings are more challenged energetically; learning ways of living that support being in harmony with the universe

    41:18 – Repercussions of assumptions/conclusions about one’s identity being vast and big (in other words, awareness getting reified into the self as big awareness), and how this can affect the body and make a person more porous energetically; addressing this problem in practice by noticing the space and relaxing the center

    51:22 – Keeping the questions open: how much structure does the self need to function well, how much might not be needed, in what ways can it be present and really work, and in what ways might it not be working; relational practice / personal relationship to spirit, orienting towards certain archetypes or aspects of Buddha nature as a way to give a format and structure to the self as an individual

    55:35 – Outro


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    56 min
  • Deconstructing the Heart Sutra, with Jayarava Attwood

    Buddhist scholar Jayarava Attwood speaks with host Michael Taft about the history of the Pali Canon, how ideas about karma & dependent arising contradict each other, the shifting grounds under the apparent solidity of the suttas, monism vs. pluralism, meditation as a subjective or objective practice, and the fact that the Sanskrit Heart Sutra is a forgery,

    Jayarava is a longtime member of the Triratna Buddhist Order, who writes about the history of ideas in Buddhism. Since 2012 he has been mainly focused on revising the text and history of the Heart Sutra, and also writes about karma and how it changed over time. His blog explores the clash between modernity and tradition with respect to Buddhism. He also works in various art forms, including music, painting, photography, and calligraphy.

    Links

    • Jayarava. (2018) ‘Anupalambhayogena: An Underappreciated Mahāyāna Term’. http://jayarava.blogspot.com/2018/05/anupalambhayogena-underappreciated.html
    • Huifeng. (2014). ‘Apocryphal Treatment for Conze’s Heart Problems: “Non-attainment”, “Apprehension”, and “Mental Hanging” in the Prajñāpāramitā.’ Journal of the Oxford Centre for Buddhist Studies. 6: 72-105. https://www.academia.edu/8275423/Apocryphal_Treatment_for_Conze_s_Heart_Problems_Non-attainment_Apprehension_and_Mental_Hanging_in_the_Praj%C3%B1%C4%81p%C4%81ramit%C4%81_Hrdaya

    On the anupalambha meditation practice:

    • Cūḷasuññata Sutta. Majjhima Nikāya 121. https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.121.than.html
    • Satyadhana. (2014) ‘The Shorter Discourse on Emptiness (Cūḷasuññatasutta, Majjhima-nikāya 121): translation and commentary.’ Western Buddhist Review 6: 78–104. https://thebuddhistcentre.com/system/files/groups/files/satyadhana-formless_spheres.pdf
    • Anālayo. (2014). Compassion and Emptiness in Early Buddhism. https://www.windhorsepublications.com/product/compassion-and-emptiness-in-early-buddhist-meditation/


    Show Notes

    0:25 – Introduction

    2:29 – How Jayarava got involved with the Triratna Buddhist Order and learned Pali

    5:47 – The history of the Pali Canon; figuring out when the texts were first recorded; how accurately the original words were memorized

    11:45 – Fitting together the concepts of karma and dependent origination; how different Abhidhamma groups and others tried to resolve the contradictions

    17:07 – How rebirth became a burden to escape from, rather than a good thing; different concepts of afterlife

    21:12 – Differences in source texts; how translations are influenced by commentaries

    25:32 – History of the Heart Sutra

    30:19 – Jan Nattier’s discovery that the Sanskrit HeartSutra is not original but a translation from Chinese, and how often this sort of thing might have occurred with other texts; Matthew Orsborn’s paper showing errors in previous interpretations of the Heart Sutra. “It’s not saying, ‘Okay, form doesn’t exist. It’s just an illusion.’ It’s saying when you get to a certain point in your meditation, form stops arising. It’s not that there’s no form; it’s just that, for you in that moment, form doesn’t exist, or it doesn’t arise.”

    36:45 – Description of a meditation practice of paying attention to what’s absent; insight arising after cessation

    42:12 – If you do this sort of critical analysis of Buddhism and parts of it fail, what’s left? The practices and ways of talking about them; the value of practice in modern life

    46:11 – The problem of bundling mindfulness with religion, the usefulness of secular mindfulness; multiple ways of teaching are valuable; monism versus pluralism

    54:01 – Discovering the nature of subjective reality, rather than seeing reality as it really is

    59:16 – Outro


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    1 hr
  • Robert Anton Wilson, High Weirdness, and Buddhist Meditation, with Erik Davis

    Michael Taft speaks with Erik Davis about author Robert Anton Wilson, anarchism in the 1970s, Terrence McKenna, P.K. Dick, psychedelics, cultures of awakening now and then, Zen practice, and more. 

    Erik Davis is an author, podcaster, award-winning journalist, and popular speaker based in San Francisco. He is probably best known for his book TechGnosis: Myth, Magic, and Mysticism in the Age of Information, a cult classic of visionary media studies that investigates how our fascination with technology intersects with the religious imagination. And his podcast, Expanding Mind has long been a favorite of mine.

    Techgnosis.com


    Show Notes

    0:25 – Introduction

    2:58 – Erik’s book, High Weirdness, Drugs, Visions, and Esoterica in the Seventies

    6:11 – The impact of Wilson’s Cosmic Trigger; guerrilla ontology; libertarianism, anarchy, and radical individualism

    13:34 – Wilson’s anarchism’s basis in his cosmic view against institutionalized and concentrated power

    15:43 – Ontological anarchism – ‘multiple perspectives all the way down’ ; relationship of metasystemic thinking and emptiness/nonduality; the challenge of wrestling with different perspectives that don’t quite fit together and the insight that comes from it

    23:10 – How trying to fit everything into one map doesn’t work, and the place of psychedelics in recognizing that; realizing that language constructs reality, and learning to deconstruct and go beyond language and maps

    27:23 – Wilson’s Quantum Psychology, its exercises in switching models and taking new perspectives; what makes a spiritual teacher different from somebody who is handing you a lot of very useful techniques and practices

    33:00 – Why tech/STEM people might be interested in meditation and psychedelics; how younger generations connect more horizontally rather than vertically (between generations or between different statuses in society); psychedelics as learning experiences rather than tool-using experiences

    37:26 – Capitalism’s influence on views and uses of psychedelics, how a potentially radical or even revolutionary compound can be whittled down into something that’s a performance enhancer

    40:00 – How mainstream materialism (“all reality is created by the brain”) requires explanations for what happens with psychedelic use; how the illegality of psychedelics affects the vibe and the relationship with them

    44:29 – Modern taming down of both psychedelics and meditation; reminding people about the potentials for radicality and weirdness: “The weird is part of reality. It’s not a distortion of what is otherwise seen with clarity.”

    48:21 – Pharmaceutical companies patenting synthetic psilocybin – “There’s still all these mushrooms growing up in the grass, and as long as there’s a culture of […] people who like weird experiences, there’s going to be this zone that’s outside of it”

    54:27 – How do you encourage the highest percentage of people who are doing corporate mindfulness, mainstream meditation to enter into the deeper folds of it

    1:04:46 – Outro

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    1 hr 5 min
  • What Can AI Tell Us about the Human Mind? with Joscha Bach

    Host Michael Taft speaks with Joscha Bach about artificial intelligence; the sense of self; building a civilizational intellect; what it is like to be a mind?; the relationships between motivation, emotion, and behavior; the “cargo cult” model of civilization; what is learning?; how artificial minds may be different from human minds, the enlightenment industry, the Tower of Babel myth; and much more.

    Dr. Joscha Bach is an Artificial Intelligence researcher at MIT and Harvard who works and writes about cognitive architectures, mental representation, emotion, social modeling, and multi-agent systems. Bach’s mission to build a model of the mind is the bedrock research in the creation of Strong Artificial Intelligence, i.e. cognition on par with that of a human being.He is especially interested in the philosophy of Artificial Intelligence and in the augmentation of the human mind.

    You can help to create future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.


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    1 hr 4 min
  • Doubt, Faith, and Fun in Meditation Practice, with Daniel Ingram

    Daniel Ingram and Michael Taft talk about the Fire Kasina practice, how making mental objects the focus can lead to deep awakening, balancing wisdom and faith, processing trauma with meditation practice, and how beauty can be a great support and inspiration on the path. Daniel shares about his experiences and spiritual development with Fire Kasina work, co-teaching with Culadasa, the increasing numbers of people attaining stream entry, and the over-diagnosis of attainment. Also discussed is Michael’s experience with faith and guru based practice, the effects of of impermanence insight on concentration, “hindrances for smart people,” rapture, and more.

    Daniel Ingram is an emergency medicine physician and long-time dharma practitioner. He is the author of the seminal text Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha — now out in its second edition — and also the main force behind the radical dharmaoverground website, which specializes in a brand of unusually-frank discussion of meditation.

     

    Links

    Dharma Treasure

    The Mind Illuminated (TMI)

    Shinzen Young

    Shannon Stein/The Hermitage

    DY Fire Kasina Interview

    Trauma Sensitive Mindfulness

    The Body Keeps the Score

    DY Stream Entry Interview with Culadasa


    Show Notes

    2:26 – Daniel’s recent visit to Dharma Treasure

    4:34 – Daniel’s teaching model

    9:11 – Fire Kasina update

    12:16 – The “Play and Fun” of Fire Kasina work

    17:23 – Waking up the mind

    25:14 – How Daniel processed trauma from working in emergency medicine

    27:12 – Hindrances for smart people

    29:22 – How skillful faith can clear the way through the analytical mind

    32:45 – Michael’s shift from sarcasm and skepticism to beauty and love

    36:57 – The inspiration and dignity of beauty in spiritual practice

    40:47 – Daniel’s journey to embracing faith

    44:57 – Pragmatic faith

    47:05 – Working with analytical thinking

    51:02 – The meta-hindrance of self-loathing

    54:05 – Addressing attachment to intellect and drivenness in spiritual practice

    58:18 – Daniel’s tips for Vipassana practitioners

    1:01:48 – Rapture and awakening

    1:05:49 – The analogy of the kazoo player

    1:12:25 – How the insight of impermanence changes the experience of concentration

    1:16:29 – Stream entry and the over-diagnosis of attainment

     

    You can support the creation of future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.

     

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    1 hr 15 min
  • Feminism, Sexual Misconduct, and the Guru in Buddhism, with Chandra Easton

    Chandra Easton and Michael Taft talk about gender and sexual misconduct in Buddhism, why compassion must be a part of spiritual practice, and the place of the guru in modern culture. Chandra shares her personal story of dealing with sexual misconduct at the hands of her teacher, tantric practices as a technology for awakening, internalized patriarchy, and how love and kindness is the whole point of spiritual practice. Also included are guidelines for choosing a teacher, reimagining Tantric practices in non-binary ways, and much more.

    Chandra Easton studied Buddhist philosophy, meditation, and Tibetan language at the Library of Tibetan Works and Archives in Dharamsala, India, and translated Tibetan Buddhist texts on meditation with B. Alan Wallace. Chandra has taught meditation and yoga since 2001. She has studied with many Tibetan and Western Buddhist teachers such as H.H. Dalai Lama, H.H. Karmapa, Lama Tsultrim Allione, B. Alan Wallace,Tulku Sang-ngag Rinpoche, and Jennifer Welwood. She is currently the Assistant Spiritual Director & Head Teacher at the Tara Mandala Retreat Center. To learn more visit www.shunyatayoga.com and www.taramandala.org.


    Links

    The teachings of Chöd

    Namkhai Norbu

    Lama Tsultrim Allione

    The Alchemical Body

    The Anam Cara

     

    Show Notes

    2:57 - Chandra’s move to Colorado

    4:14 - The Tara Mandala retreat center

    6:35 - The Chöd practices

    11:33 - Namkhai Norbu and “self-secret”

    14:33 - The technology of Tantra

    20:38 - The motivation of compassion

    25:54 - Guru sexual misconduct and The Feminine in Buddhism

    34:04 - The Buddha’s views on women

    37:38 - The Tantra movement

    40:01 - Women in Buddhism and what needs to change

    44:41 - Women-run sanghas

    47:39 - Gender in Tantric practices

    52:16 - Sexual abuse and spiritual leaders

    59:05 - How to choose a teacher

    1:05:04 - Qualities to look for in a teacher

    1:10:11 - Is the guru still needed?

    1:13:05 - The Soul Friend

    1:15:40 - The story of the Grandma and the Dog’s Tooth

    1:19:54 - The teacher vs. the teachings

    1:28:35 - Education changing the female experience in Buddhism

     

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    1 hr 23 min

About Deconstructing Yourself

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Dedicated to liberation in all its forms, Deconstructing Yourself is passionate about fearlessly investigating, attempting, and questioning all things to do with awakening, meditation, mindfulness,…

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