Diary of “Crazy”

Explicit. I curse a lot in this one. With Mother’s Day past us, I’ve been extra in my feels. Last week I wasn’t ready to process all these emotions but today, I was ready to start. Loss of the chance to become a “normal” parent is hard. Loss of a child is hard. It takes strong women to provide that, and I’m not there yet. However, I’m beyond thankful for those people who allow me to participate in their children’s lives! If being an aunt/auntie/TT is all that’s in the cards for me right now, I’m thankful it’s with you and your kiddos! I can’t wait to add you to my village when I get there, and I will, whether it’s in the way I want or not, but I appreciate the opportunity to be in yours!

Explicit content ahead! Today is a hard day for me but I’m not ready to unpack that, however, something did happen this week that I felt I needed to share and apologize to some people that did their best to love an unloveable girl. Self-esteem and a need for validation caused me to make some piss poor choices but I do regret hurting you in the process. Also, out of curiosity, anyone else break up with people in the same spot…no, just me? Okay! I apologize but thank you for leading me to my happiness.

How healing is music!? Pretty freaking healing, for me at least! I’m very thankful for the moment music brought me today and I had to share!

Have you ever noticed that when you try to tell someone what is upsetting you and they get defensive?? I discovered the reason why. Perception. Healing and unpacking is important but in order to do that, we have to realize our interpretation is not always someone else’s.

Come join me as I unpack my conundrum that is my need to be a “50s housewife” and my found independence! Or more so, me processing new relationship boundaries, giving myself a break, and just me being my goofy self!

TRIGGER WARNING: 🦋 Miscarriage is way more common than we want it to be. If you look at all the women you know, there’s a good chance at least one of them has lost a child. When I lost my child, I thought I’d dealt with it. I thought I was okay, until I wasn’t. I was angry and carrying toxic energy. Tonight’s episode is a purge of those feelings and finding the peace in those emotions. Handling a big sad can be hard, but it is very important. I needed it this week.

The ramblings of the last several months. I’m back baby! New adventures, new discoveries! My journey through life, one interesting moment at a time.

Sometimes we just need to vent. Sometimes we just need someone to say it’s okay. Sometimes we just need to process through our feelings. Survivors guilt is REAL and it’s not always pretty. A struggle is a struggle is a struggle! Accept yours and it’s okay if that’s all you can do.

Just your weekly update of the crazy, ridiculousness that is my life and my disease riddled humanness!

Welcome to season 2! I’m back with a vengeance as I tackle my first year of teaching and balancing life post mental “vacation”! Talk about mental health, life updates and how funny I am! 😂😬