Disagree better

Disagree better

By Tammy LenskiSociety & Culture
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Disagree better episodes

  • The communication method that makes disagreements worse

    For almost two decades I’ve advised clients to avoid email and texting when tension grows in their important personal or business relationships. Is my advice still credible in an era so permeated by technology? A new study offers updated insight.

    Find the transcript with links here.

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    5 min
  • Spark a shift in perspective with this question
    It’s hard to get fresh perspective about our situation or the other person when we’re trapped inside a conflict. This simple question is excellent for tempering our certainty, engaging our curiosity, and sparking a shift in perspective when we need it most.
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    0 min
  • Spark a shift in perspective with this question
    It's hard to get fresh perspective about our situation or the other person when we're trapped inside a conflict. This simple question is excellent for tempering our certainty, engaging our curiosity, and sparking a shift in perspective when we need it most.
    0 min
  • The Picasso trick for better problem solving
    When we become too wedded to our own solutions, conflict resolution conversations can get pretty stuck. Here’s a trick of the mind to help us stay flexible (even when we’re sure our solution is brilliant), courtesy of Pablo Picasso.
    Show notes
    PDF download of the Picasso quote
    The groan zone
    The pain of anticipating pain
    The conflict replay
    Managing cognitive load during conflict
    Want a transcript of this episode?
    Transcripts of podcast episodes are available to my subscribers, who receive them automatically by email. Subscribe for free here.
    0 min
  • The Picasso trick for better problem solving

    When we become too wedded to our own solutions, conflict resolution conversations can get pretty stuck. Here’s a trick of the mind to help us stay flexible (even when we’re sure our solution is brilliant), courtesy of Pablo Picasso.

    Find the transcript with links here.

    To receive transcripts of new episodes automatically, subscribe at tammylenski.com/subscribe/.

    7 min
  • When it seems trivial, pay more attention
    When you’re tempted to dismiss someone’s concerns as trivial, or roll your eyes at the things people find to fight over, it’s time to sit up straight and pay attention. Because you’re missing something…and it’s worth your while to figure out what.
    This episode is brought to you by The Conflict Resolution Toolbox. Reach inside a professional mediator’s toolbox to spark breakthroughs, build consensus, and preserve important relationships at work and home.
    Want a transcript of this episode?
    Transcripts and references from podcast episodes are available to my subscribers, who receive them automatically by email. Subscribe for free here.
    0 min
  • When it seems trivial, pay close attention

    When you’re tempted to dismiss someone’s concerns as trivial, or roll your eyes at the things people find to fight over, it’s time to sit up straight and pay attention. Because you’re missing something…and it’s worth your while to figure out what.

    Find the transcript with links here.

    To receive transcripts of new episodes automatically, subscribe at tammylenski.com/subscribe/.

    5 min
  • Conflict and the misattribution of arousal
    Picture yourself stepping out to cross the Capilano Canyon Bridge in Vancouver. It’s 230 feet high, 450 feet long, and it sways in the breeze. Just as you pass the midpoint in the bridge, when your anxiety is about peak, an attractive person of the gender toward which you’re romantically inclined asks if you’d be willing to stop, answer a questionnaire, and do an imagination exercise. After you’re done, they tell you they’d be happy to discuss the study further if you want to call that evening, then they tear off a corner of the paper, write down their phone number, and hand it to you. Do you call?
    This episode is brought to you by The Conflict Resolution Toolbox. Reach inside a professional mediator’s toolbox to spark breakthroughs, build consensus, and preserve important relationships at work and home.
    Show notes
    The original study by Art Aron and Donald Dutton
    Inner lizards
    How our mental models influence us in conflict
    The groan zone
    Influences from our day
    Want a transcript of this episode?
    Transcripts and references from podcast episodes are available to my subscribers, who receive them automatically by email. Subscribe for free here.
    0 min
  • You make me so angry!

    This classic piece of research offers insight into the way context may influence blame and anger.

    Find the transcript with links here.

    To receive transcripts of new episodes automatically, subscribe at tammylenski.com/subscribe/.

    7 min
  • Think straight in an argument with these 4 quick techniques
    When we feel overwhelmed by a difficult conversation, we can get emotionally swamped and lose access to our good conflict resolution, communication, and problem-solving skills. Here are four quick techniques you can use when conflict muddles your thinking and you want your good skills back.
    Show notes
    Source of Adam Robinson’s story
    4-corner breathing meditation
    Happy memory technique
    Control your emotions better by labeling them
    Dr. Brad Bushman myth-busts venting
    Want a transcript of this episode?
    Transcripts and references from podcast episodes are available to my subscribers, who receive them automatically by email. Subscribe for free here.
    0 min

About Disagree better

From the publisher's feed

How we handle conflict has an impact on the resilience of our vital relationships, the caliber of our decisions, the success of our careers, and our peace of mind. Mediator, conflict resolution…

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