Get 10 Free Gifts including 6 movies, free shipping, and more! Use coupon code FREAK at checkout @ AdamAndEve.Com!

Welcome To Distorted View’s Crude Summer!

Each week we will take a dip into DV’s pool of disgusting, poorly written, and just weird erotic fan fiction/ sex stories that have been featured over the past 15 years of the podcast. I originally read these stories to you during a segment called Sextastic Tuesday, which aired just about every week (on Tuesday’s, naturally) and creeped out a generation of freaks. Every weekend this summer we will relive some of these abominations.

This week: I’ve got two stories for you today. First, if you’ve ever wondered where the phrase “Black nut juice is good, but negro nut cream is way better” comes from, wonder no more! I’ve got the story where that brilliant line comes from: a woman horny for a bunch of big black cocks. The second story is from deep within the vaults of DV. One of the very first stories I ever read (even before the show was a podcast) was about a gay man getting pissed on by a dwarf. Enjoy both of these ribald tales and I’ll see you back next week for more audio filth.

BE A PART OF THIS STUPIDITY:

Voicemail:  206-666-4463 (206-66-OH GOD) Have Your Voicemail Played On The Show E-mail: [email protected] – Say hi, suggest news stories, videos, audio, etc. Discord: The DV discord server! Chat with like-minded monsters. The DV Subreddit: Share links to DV worthy audio/video and news stories

A new way to help support Tim / Distorted View – Check out our Patreon page

Get more Distorted View! Become a True and Honorable Freak: Sign Up For The Sideshow

Hastily AI’ed Transcription Of Today’s Show:

Coming up this week a crude summer double feature first you know that sound clip of me saying Black Nut juice is good, but I gotta say Negro nut cream way better today I’ll share the story where that originated from. Then we take a trip in the Wayback Machine all the way to 2002 and I share with you one of the very first sex stories I read on DV – Crude summer starts in just a moment. distorted views crude summer is brought to you by Adam and Eve calm the sex toy superstore with that old timey mom and pop store charm. Look, your local erotic boutique is fine. They’ve got some movies, some generic toys, it works when you’re in a pinch, and you just need something in your butt right away and you don’t mind paying a little more but if you want access to over 20,000 adult items at an amazing price, check out AdamandEve.com. Here’s an example just about every corner store sex shop sells nipple clamps But only Adam and Eve calm has the exclusive chain me up cake clamps including two nipple clamps and click clamp all connected together. Just pull on the O ring in the middle and yank her tits and Clint at the same time, innovative forward thinking that’s Adam and Eve calm for a limited time just for distorted view listeners get 50% off just about any item when you use promo code freak at checkout. That’s FREAK half off any one item is an amazing deal on its own. We’re just getting started baby. use promo code freak and you’ll also receive a sexy item for him a special gift for her and a third item you’ll both enjoy plus six free spicy movies and free shipping on your entire or...

ON TODAY’S EPISODE:

Some More Weird 900 Numnbers From The 90’s

Showdown At The Family Dollar

Chocolate Penis Intimidation

Scamming Amazon With Bags of Dirt

Leaving Your Apartment Smeared With Intestines

Our New Post Office Box Address!

Distorted View PO Box 9575 Cincinnati Ohio 45209

BE A PART OF THIS STUPIDITY:

Voicemail:  206-666-4463 (206-66-OH GOD) Have Your Voicemail Played On The Show E-mail: [email protected] – Say hi, suggest news stories, videos, audio, etc. Discord: The DV discord server! Chat with like-minded monsters. The DV Subreddit: Share links to DV worthy audio/video and news stories

A new way to help support Tim / Distorted View – Check out our Patreon page

Get more Distorted View! Become a True and Honorable Freak: Sign Up For The Sideshow

 

ON TODAY’S EPISODE:

A Love Scorned Burns Her Ex’s Clothes

Sovereign Citizen Scream “Corpus Delecti” In Yet Another Futile Attempt

The Greatest Neighbors Since Peter And Raymond

Jeffery Epstein Wanted To Preserve His Cock And Start A Breeding Farm

Hot Asian Stream Turns Out To Be a Middle Aged Grandma Using Filters

Covered In Porta Potty Poo

Our New Post Office Box Address!

Distorted View PO Box 9575 Cincinnati Ohio 45209

BE A PART OF THIS STUPIDITY:

Voicemail:  206-666-4463 (206-66-OH GOD) Have Your Voicemail Played On The Show E-mail: [email protected] – Say hi, suggest news stories, videos, audio, etc. Discord: The DV discord server! Chat with like-minded monsters. The DV Subreddit: Share links to DV worthy audio/video and news stories

A new way to help support Tim / Distorted View – Check out our Patreon page

Get more Distorted View! Become a True and Honorable Freak: Sign Up For The Sideshow

 

ON TODAY’S EPISODE:

When Unwashed Love Dolls Cause Urinary Tract Infections

Black Man Scares Woman While Trying To Prove He’s Not Scary

When Gooner Bators Podcast

Men, Go Ahead And Cool Off With “Snowballs” Testicle Cooling Underwear

Ladies, Don’t Cool Off With A Popsicle In Your Pussy

Katy Perry Vs. Christians

Our New Post Office Box Address!

Distorted View PO Box 9575 Cincinnati Ohio 45209

BE A PART OF THIS STUPIDITY:

Voicemail:  206-666-4463 (206-66-OH GOD) Have Your Voicemail Played On The Show E-mail: [email protected] – Say hi, suggest news stories, videos, audio, etc. Discord: The DV discord server! Chat with like-minded monsters. The DV Subreddit: Share links to DV worthy audio/video and news stories

A new way to help support Tim / Distorted View – Check out our Patreon page

Get more Distorted View! Become a True and Honorable Freak: Sign Up For The Sideshow

 

Get 10 Free Gifts including 6 movies, free shipping, and more! Use coupon code FREAK at checkout @ AdamAndEve.Com!

Welcome To Distorted View’s Crude Summer!

Each week we will take a dip into DV’s pool of disgusting, poorly written, and just weird erotic fan fiction/ sex stories that have been featured over the past 15 years of the podcast. I originally read these stories to you during a segment called Sextastic Tuesday, which aired just about every week (on Tuesday’s, naturally) and creeped out a generation of freaks. Every weekend this summer we will relive some of these abominations.

This week: An extremely gross and descriptive piece of abortion erotic fiction. It’s hard to make abortion sound sexy, and this story is proof of that. Thankful, it’s rather short, clocking in at around 7 minutes. So, I’ve included a second, bonus sext story today! The second story was written by friend of the show Corey Sundae! Becky is a girl just looking for a little romance. Does she find it? Listen on and find out!

BE A PART OF THIS STUPIDITY:

Voicemail:  206-666-4463 (206-66-OH GOD) Have Your Voicemail Played On The Show E-mail: [email protected] – Say hi, suggest news stories, videos, audio, etc. Discord: The DV discord server! Chat with like-minded monsters. The DV Subreddit: Share links to DV worthy audio/video and news stories

A new way to help support Tim / Distorted View – Check out our Patreon page

Get more Distorted View! Become a True and Honorable Freak: Sign Up For The Sideshow

 

Hastily AI’ed Transcription Of Today’s Show:

Hastily AI’ed Transcription Of Today’s Show:

Coming up on this week screwed summer How do you make abortion sound sexy? we attempt to answer that with a piece of terminated pregnancy erotica. Not to spoil the story but the answer to my question is you can’t you can’t make it sound hot. It’s just disturbing and gross. Everything we look for in a sec story, crude summer starts in just a second. distorted views crude summer is brought to you by Adam and eve.com the sex toy superstore with that old timey mom and pop store charm. Look, your local erotic boutique is fine. They’ve got some movies, some generic toys, it works when you’re in a pinch, and you just need something in your butt right away and you don’t mind paying a little more but if you want access to over 20,000 adult items at an amazing price, check out Adam and Eve calm. Here’s an example just about every corner store sex shop sells nipple clamps. But only Adam and Eve calm has the exclusive chain me up cake clamps including two nipple clamps and click clamp all connected together. Just pull on the O ring in the middle and yank her tits and Clint at the same time, innovative forward thinking that’s Adam and Eve calm for a limited time just for distorted view listeners get 50% off just about any item when you use promo code freak at checkout. That’s FREAK half off any one item is an amazing deal on its own. We’re just getting started baby. use promo code freak and you’ll also receive a sexy item for him a special gift for her and a third item you’ll both enjoy plus six free spicy movies and free shipping on your entire order. That’s 10 free gifts when you use promo code freak. Let’s recap. Adam and Eve calm has products like Coca Cola Key Eagle ...

ON TODAY’S EPISODE:

Our Favorite Crazy Lady Youtard Makes Contact With The Freaks

Good Old Fashion Cockgagging and VR Porn

A Livestream Deals With A Big Cry Baby

Tim Allen Gruntwave Music: LISTEN!

Fetuses Know It When You Have Anal Sex

Wedding Has A Weight Limit For Bridesmaids

Hallmark Movies and Mysteries Presents: A Mayo Murder

Our New Post Office Box Address!

Distorted View PO Box 9575 Cincinnati Ohio 45209

BE A PART OF THIS STUPIDITY:

Voicemail:  206-666-4463 (206-66-OH GOD) Have Your Voicemail Played On The Show E-mail: [email protected] – Say hi, suggest news stories, videos, audio, etc. Discord: The DV discord server! Chat with like-minded monsters. The DV Subreddit: Share links to DV worthy audio/video and news stories

A new way to help support Tim / Distorted View – Check out our Patreon page

Get more Distorted View! Become a True and Honorable Freak: Sign Up For The Sideshow

 

ON TODAY’S EPISODE:

In A World Where Rape Is Legal. Watch Norm!

Feeling Sorry That People Are Mad About You Beating Up A Mentally Retarded Person

The Poopman Cometh To Heal

Eating Dead Squirrels To Piss Off Vegans

Leaking Liquid Out Of Your Testicles NOT GOOD

When Your Forearm Penis Gets Kidney Stones

Our New Post Office Box Address!

Distorted View PO Box 9575 Cincinnati Ohio 45209

BE A PART OF THIS STUPIDITY:

Voicemail:  206-666-4463 (206-66-OH GOD) Have Your Voicemail Played On The Show E-mail: [email protected] – Say hi, suggest news stories, videos, audio, etc. Discord: The DV discord server! Chat with like-minded monsters. The DV Subreddit: Share links to DV worthy audio/video and news stories

A new way to help support Tim / Distorted View – Check out our Patreon page

Get more Distorted View! Become a True and Honorable Freak: Sign Up For The Sideshow

 

ON TODAY’S EPISODE:

There Was An Incident At Popeyes

Having An Orgasm At Your Dad’s Funeral

Another Installment Of Mis-Gendering A Singer

Florida Lesbian Sexual Assault Done Right

Eternal Outrage: Dinnerware Edition

Crazy Bitch Marries A Chandelier

Our New Post Office Box Address!

Distorted View PO Box 9575 Cincinnati Ohio 45209

BE A PART OF THIS STUPIDITY:

Voicemail:  206-666-4463 (206-66-OH GOD) Have Your Voicemail Played On The Show E-mail: [email protected] – Say hi, suggest news stories, videos, audio, etc. Discord: The DV discord server! Chat with like-minded monsters. The DV Subreddit: Share links to DV worthy audio/video and news stories

A new way to help support Tim / Distorted View – Check out our Patreon page

Get more Distorted View! Become a True and Honorable Freak: Sign Up For The Sideshow

 

Get 10 Free Gifts including 6 movies, free shipping, and more! Use coupon code FREAK at checkout @ AdamAndEve.Com!

Welcome To Distorted View’s Crude Summer!

Each week we will take a dip into DV’s pool of disgusting, poorly written, and just weird erotic fan fiction/ sex stories that have been featured over the past 15 years of the podcast. I originally read these stories to you during a segment called Sextastic Tuesday, which aired just about every week (on Tuesday’s, naturally) and creeped out a generation of freaks. Every weekend this summer we will relive some of these abominations.

This week: Beloved cartoon Inspector Gadget gets the bad erotic fanfic treatment. English was not the first language for this author, it seems. Still, he manages to pack this story with exciting cameos. Batman and Superman stop by to get some Inspector Gadget loving. Even Robocop can’t resist getting in on the action.

BE A PART OF THIS STUPIDITY:

Voicemail:  206-666-4463 (206-66-OH GOD) Have Your Voicemail Played On The Show E-mail: [email protected] – Say hi, suggest news stories, videos, audio, etc. Discord: The DV discord server! Chat with like-minded monsters. The DV Subreddit: Share links to DV worthy audio/video and news stories

A new way to help support Tim / Distorted View – Check out our Patreon page

Get more Distorted View! Become a True and Honorable Freak: Sign Up For The Sideshow

 

Hastily AI’ed Transcription Of Today’s Show:

Coming up on this week screwed summer Inspector Gadget erotic fanfiction Now for those of you who don’t remember the cartoon, it involves a bionic private investigator is preteen nice and a job. If that doesn’t sound problematic enough, we’re going to go ahead and just throw in Superman and Batman into the mix and how Let’s invite Robocop to the orgy to we’ll get into the story in just a second. Distorted views crude summer is brought to you by Adam and eve.com, purveyors of fine handcrafted artisanal objects to Graham and various Buchholz since 1970. Okay, I don’t think they’re handcrafted but because artists no has no legal definition. The sex toys are totally our typical. the widest selection of dildos vibrators and butt plugs have made Adam and Eve the number one adult toy superstore. But there’s so much more than that. Visit Adam and Eve calm for perfume and cologne. lingerie, under where for men, movies, bondage where and necessities like condoms, lube and something called coochie aftershave. For a limited time just for distorted view listeners get 50% off just about any item when you use promo code freak at checkout. That’s FREAK half off any one item is an amazing deal on its own. We’re just getting started baby. Hold on to your kingdom dildo which is also the name of another real product, Adam and Eve calm cells. Because here we go. So like almost any one item for 50% off and then Adam and Eve load you up with an awesome selection of three stop and her offer code freak at checkout and get 10 free gifts. Sexy item for him a special gift for her and a third item I think he’ll both enjoy plus six free movies. free shipping on your entire order. Let’s recap get 50% off just about any item plus 10 free gifts including six free movies and free shipping. Just remember to use coupon code freak FREAK at Adamandeve.

ON TODAY’S EPISODE:

Clips From An Incel Documentary

Inside the Bird Truther Movement

Mom Vs. Livestreamer

Happy Birthday To My 2 Year Old Loser

A Cooler Full Of Dicks

Florida Walmart Parking Lot: It’s Like A Drive-In For Masturbaters

Our New Post Office Box Address!

Distorted View PO Box 9575 Cincinnati Ohio 45209

BE A PART OF THIS STUPIDITY:

Voicemail:  206-666-4463 (206-66-OH GOD) Have Your Voicemail Played On The Show E-mail: [email protected] – Say hi, suggest news stories, videos, audio, etc. Discord: The DV discord server! Chat with like-minded monsters. The DV Subreddit: Share links to DV worthy audio/video and news stories

A new way to help support Tim / Distorted View – Check out our Patreon page

Get more Distorted View! Become a True and Honorable Freak: Sign Up For The Sideshow