Get 10 Free Gifts including 6 movies, free shipping, and more! Use coupon code FREAK at checkout @ AdamAndEve.Com!
Welcome To Distorted View’s Crude Summer!
Every week I read you some weird, poorly written, or just plain gross erotic fiction.
This week: I’ve got three (YES! 3!) brand new short stories and they are all dumb, gross, and bizarre. First, Alvin from Alvin In The Chipmunks has celebrity sex with Miley Cyrus. Chipmunk? More like Chipspunk. Next, A young man takes a dip in a pond only to find that the fish like the taste of his dick and semen. Fish Nibblers! Finally, one man’s fetish is another man’s bit for a podcast! Take a listen to how blowing into a girls butthole helps get him off. Thanks to LVL80CatLady for the amazing album artwork! Check her out on Twitter BE A PART OF THIS STUPIDITY:
Voicemail: 206-666-4463 (206-66-OH GOD) Have Your Voicemail Played On The Show E-mail: [email protected] – Say hi, suggest news stories, videos, audio, etc. Discord: The DV discord server! Chat with like-minded monsters. The DV Subreddit: Share links to DV worthy audio/video and news stories
A new way to help support Tim / Distorted View – Check out our Patreon page
Get more Distorted View! Become a True and Honorable Freak: Sign Up For The Sideshow
Hastily AI’ed Transcription Of Today’s Show:
On today’s crude summer, I’ve got not one, not two, but three brand new stories involving chipmunk sex, fish, fucking and ass blowing, none of these stories should be able to get you off. However, if you’d like to take the crude summer challenge, pull down your pants now. No touching until after the commercial break and then email me. Let me know how far into the show it took you before you blew your load. I’m setting up some online leaderboards right now. This week’s crude summary starts in just a moment. Distorted views. Crude Summer is brought to you by Adam And Eve, the number one adult toy superstore in the world. I’d love to tell you about every single one of their 19000 movies, but plugs, click stimulators and cock rings. But I only have a few minutes to tell you about a select few to help me choose which items from Adam and Eve vast catalogue to talk about. Let’s go to the big board of fornications. All the board is full of amazing products from the Ash Orgasm Penis Ring Club to the click master penis sleeve. There’s no bad choice here, but let’s start the board up to see some click gel here. Silicone lubricants, hydromatic penis pump and stack. We landed on High of Love Pheromone perfume. Get ready to stink in a good way. Cologne uses androstenone to attract women while repelling other men. I think you want to do is start attracting them. This will leave the field wide open for you to charm their pants off without any competition getting in your way. That’s I have loved Ferryman Parfume. Let’s go back to the bar. Those penis pumps look good. They could come in handy. Garlic couples lace up corseted. I think that’s my thing. But it could be. And we landed on the butt. Learn new system. Clean out your rear quickly and easily with this travel friendly douche. That’s right. Get squeaky clean for back door. Play with the Butler douche system. It’s a breeze to use even for first timers becau...