Ditching Perfection

Why is asking for help so hard? As kids, it was a norm to ask for help, but as adults, we see asking for help as a sign of weakness. Why is that?

On today’s podcast, my friend Ashley Somers is here to help us learn to get vulnerable, lean on our community, and ask for help. She also wisely shares that so often we miss being present in the present because we are so busy hustling and trying to force our hopes into reality. She helps us learn to live open-handed, ready to ditch our expectations for what God has for us in the here and now.

Ashley is a friend of mine from college who has had a very successful career in the corporate world. She has worked for three large global companies — Walmart, Campbell Soup, and she currently works for Unilever. She is married to her husband, Chad, who has a doctorate of musical arts and is a professional opera singer and professor of applied voice. Together they have two children. Their son was born with a rare genetic disorder called Phelan McDermid Syndrome and has a co-diagnosis of Autism. Ashley says, “He has opened our eyes to an entire world of beautiful people with disabilities and the caregivers that help them thrive. We will spend our whole lives seeing, loving and caring for Bear and this special community of people.”

To connect with Ashley, feel free to reach out to her @ashleyannesomers on Instagram.

As always, feel free to reach out to me -- Carly -- on Instagram as well at @carlycommunicates and for more information on my speaking, writing, and worship leading, check out my website carlycommunicates.com.

Mother Teresa said, “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”

What would it look like if we truly live like we belong to each other? How would our friendships transform? How would this change how we interact with those on the margins?

Today, on the podcast, Miley Waterman is here… and her life says to the world, “We belong to each other.” Miley fiercely listens to, and advocates for those the world often undervalues. In this conversation, Miley will remind us of the importance of intentionally creating connections with people who will teach us and transform us. We can’t follow Jesus alone; we really need each other.

Miley Waterman is the CEO of Brave Global, a strategy to empower vulnerable youth. She is passionate about advocating for female voices and survivors by giving a platform to their stories of overcoming. Miley lives in Phoenix, Arizona with her husband, son and two adorable dogs.

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I always love connecting with you and hearing how the podcasts are making a difference in your pursuit of wholeness! Feel free to reach out to me on Instagram at @carlycommunicates.  If there is any way I can support you or your organization through speaking or worship leading, feel free to reach out to me at carlycommunicates.com/contact.

Fear is something that we all deal with from time to time. However, sometimes when fear seems to get a grip on us, we feel like we have failed. When this happens, we are slammed with anxiety and shame, which is absolutely miserable. Today, on the podcast, Dr. Doug Hardy is back to remind us that being fearful is not a character flaw. Instead of trying to push fear aside, God is inviting us to acknowledge it and redirect our focus to God's welcome and embrace.

Doug Hardy serves as Professor of Spiritual Formation at Nazarene Theological Seminary in Kansas City, MO where he helps students who are preparing for pastoral ministry to pray as they learn. He is a spiritual director in addition to teaching and leading retreats and pilgrimages. Dr. Hardy is familiar with the complexities of perfectionism in his own life, and now is able to come alongside and encourage others to notice and respond to the God who loves them unconditionally. Doug is married to a hospital chaplain; together they have three grown children.  The Foundry Press has published two of his small group studies geared for use in local churches: Christian Disciplines: Creating Time & Space for God (2013) and Prayer: Sharing Intimate Space with God (2015).

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I always love connecting with you and hearing how the podcasts are making a difference in your pursuit of wholeness! Feel free to reach out to me on Instagram at @carlycommunicates.  If there is any way I can support you or your organization through speaking or worship leading, feel free to reach out to me at carlycommunicates.com/contact.

Do you struggle with a pesky inner critic? I do!! Sometimes the negative self-critical voice becomes so loud that it is easy for us to confuse that voice with the voice of God. On today's episode, Dr. Doug Hardy will remind us that God is not shaming us or disgusted with us. God is a "capital C Compassionate God" who invites us to root ourselves in God's loving voice. From that place of love, we are compelled to courageously let go of things (and voices!) that may hold us back.

Doug Hardy serves as Professor of Spiritual Formation at Nazarene Theological Seminary in Kansas City, MO where he helps students who are preparing for pastoral ministry to pray as they learn. He is a spiritual director in addition to teaching and leading retreats and pilgrimages. Dr. Hardy is familiar with the complexities of perfectionism in his own life, and now is able to come alongside and encourage others to notice and respond to the God who loves them unconditionally. Doug is married to a hospital chaplain; together they have three grown children.  The Foundry Press has published two of his small group studies geared for use in local churches: Christian Disciplines: Creating Time & Space for God (2013) and Prayer: Sharing Intimate Space with God (2015).

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I always love connecting with you and hearing how the podcasts are making a difference in your pursuit of wholeness! Feel free to reach out to me on Instagram at @carlycommunicates.  If there is any way I can support you or your organization through speaking or worship leading, feel free to reach out to me at carlycommunicates.com/contact.

We often feel like we have to be the sparkly one in the room. We feel the pressure to always put a smile on our face, while under the surface, we may be experiencing deep brokenness and pain.

On this week’s episode, my friend, Mimi Page is here to remind us that as perfection-ditchers, we are free to experience a whole range of emotions. We don’t have to have it all together, and in fact, God meets us right in the middle of our sadness, grief, and pain.

Mimi Page a Brazilian naturalized American who currently lives in Thailand as a cross-cultural worker. She is a wife to an amazing man, Jake, and mother to two wonderful children. Mimi is no stranger to grief as she lost her mom to Covid last year. In the mountains and valleys, joy and grief, she is learning to lean on Jesus’ perfection, not her own.

You can connect with Mimi on instagram @mimipage or on her website: www.4w7s.com

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I always love connecting with you and hearing how the podcasts are making a difference in your pursuit of wholeness! Feel free to reach out to me on Instagram at @carlycommunicates.  If there is any way I can support you or your organization through speaking or worship leading, feel free to reach out to me at carlycommunicates.com/contact.

This week on the podcast, my friend Lexi Tubbs-Wood is here. Lexi was a two-sport collegiate athlete and now works for WNBA team, the Seattle Storm. Lexi is no stranger to the pressures of competition. Yet, she has been able to find her value and significance not in her performance, but in her identity as a loved child of God. Lexi is passionate about seeing women rise in leadership. She is someone who will continue to break through barriers and open doors for women who come after her. She is a vivacious young leader with a heart to serve. You can find Lexi on instagram @lexi_moze.

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I always love connecting with you and hearing how the podcasts are making a difference in your pursuit of wholeness! Feel free to reach out to me on Instagram at @carlycommunicates.  If there is any way I can support you or your organization through speaking or worship leading, feel free to reach out to me at carlycommunicates.com/contact.

This week, my daughter Lulu is on the podcast! She is a dazzling sparkler who loves Chick-Fil-A, whale sharks, her family, and Jesus. Lulu believes that every day is “the best day ever” and she carries wisdom well beyond her years. I’m absolutely convinced that this episode will leave you with a smile on your face and a renewed sense of gratitude for all of life’s gifts. 

In our conversation, Lulu talks about Jesus’ healing in Luke 17. Her thoughts inspired me to think about my own practices of gratitude and how I look for God in unpredictable people and places. I hope this episode reminds you that despite the bleakness of the world around us, God’s light continues to break forth. There really is so much to be thankful for. The question is: Are our eyes open to see it? 

I always love connecting with you and hearing how the podcasts are making a difference in your pursuit of wholeness! Feel free to reach out to me on Instagram at @carlycommunicates. If there is any way I can support you or your organization through speaking or worship leading, feel free to reach out to me at carlycommunicates.com/contact.

We live in a Pinterest-perfect world where we are told we have to “have it all together.” For many of us, feelings of comparison and inadequacy creep in… especially as we try to balance family and professional life. 

On this week’s podcast, my friend and mentor, Toni Nieuwhof is here to help us ditch perfection and embrace vulnerability as we try to balance the various roles in our lives. I look up to Toni immensely; she walks out what she teaches. She has balanced her family and professional roles with grace and a clear reliance on Jesus. Toni is very familiar with what it feels like to wear many hats. She’s a family law mediator, former divorce attorney, author, speaker, and co-host of the Smart Family Podcast. She is married to leadership expert, author, speaker, and former pastor, Carey Niewhof. Carey and Toni have two adult sons. To connect with Toni, visit her website www.toninieuwhof.com and check out her book, “Before You Split.”