Divorce Coaches Academy

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We like to think that we actively have our fingers on the pulse of the divorce industry and the application of divorce coaching nationally and around the world. But recently, we have been hearing some noise about the need for divorce coaches to have training in areas such as trauma and post separation abuse. Yet, at the same time, we're hearing cries for divorce coaches to stay in their lane. 

We are finding this dialogue confusing - not only for professional practicing divorce coaches but for consumers who are looking to learn more about working with a divorce coach or how divorce coaching can help them. 

The reality is that any good, professional divorce coach is trauma sensitive in the way they approach their work with clients. The difference is that we do not venture into the arena of DV advocacy, legal advice or therapy. We remain firmly grounded in the ABA definition of divorce coaching as a form of dispute resolution.

A trauma-informed approach to conflict in divorce recognizes and addresses the impact of trauma on individuals' behaviors, emotions, and interactions. This approach is rooted in understanding the pervasive effects of trauma and emphasizes safety, trust, empowerment, and collaboration.

We endeavor to minimize further harm by helping clients get through their divorce process with the least amount of damage to their bank account and their mental health. Because the only way out is through. In order to recover from the negative experience of the marriage, our clients need support to get to the other side where they can be free to heal and build a new life.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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One thing we've noticed this year is that the Olympians we admire most have some lessons to teach us about divorce and co-parenting including sportsmanship, teamwork, and how to handle stress, victory and defeat.

Let’s take Katie Ledecky for example. She is widely regarded as the greatest female swimmer of all time and one of the greatest Olympians of all time. At just 27 years old, she has won eight Olympic gold medals and 21 world championship gold medals. What sets Ledecky apart from her competitors is her incredible work ethic and unyielding determination.

And Ledecky is just one of thousands of athletes who are showing us this level of dedication, sacrifice, and commitment to excellence and teaching us important lessons about teamwork, collaboration, managing stress, sportsmanship, the role of coaching, the importance of goals, and knowing when to retire.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra chat about the 12 divorce and co-parenting lessons they're taking away from the Olympic athletes.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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Our guest today smashes the idea that an "amicable divorce" means that the couple is getting along and getting to agreement without conflict. Instead, she promotes the revolutionary idea that it's the mindset of the professionals involved that determine whether the divorce process is amicable.

We’re pleased to introduce you to Tracy Moore-Grant, Founder of the Amicable Divorce Network. The Amicable Divorce Network (ADN) is a global network of seasoned, licensed professionals who are dedicated to helping families navigate divorce through the Amicable Divorce Process, a modern, civilized, transparent, and cost effective alternative to adversarial divorce litigation. They are the only network in the world vetting divorce professionals for their experience, commitment to a resolution-focused practice, and engagement in fair billing practices.

More and more family law attorneys are exiting the world of litigation because they see what it does to families and it doesn't align with their personal values. Tracy explains this concept of "moral injury" and why it is the driving force behind the shift we are seeing in how divorce professionals choose to use their gifts and skills.

When professionals are focused on resolution, it saves clients time, money, and emotional energy. As Tracy explains, handing over decision making power to an adversarial attorney or a judge is an expensive way to be sure you spend money you don't have on things you might not want.

The bottom line is that the professionals you choose to work with have a tremendous amount of influence on your divorce process, the cost and the level of conflict - choose carefully!

Find Tracy and the Amicable Divorce Network:

Tracy's ABA Article: The Argument For Less Argument in Divorce
ADN Website: amicabledivorcenetwork.com or divorceamicably.com
Find an ADN Professional: Member Directory

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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We're tackling one of the most challenging and emotionally charged questions many of our clients face: How do you know when it's time to divorce?

No marriage is 100% happy all the time. Like any relationship, it’s filled with both good times and hardship. But for some, the challenges become chronic and overwhelming, leaving them wondering if ending the marriage is the right choice. Deciding to divorce is never easy and it’s rarely straightforward.  As actress Kate Hudson said, “The process of discovering with somebody that you love that you don’t work is so painful.”

In this week's episode, we'll explore the signs that indicate it might be time to part ways, the importance of weighing both emotional and practical factors, and the tools and strategies you and your clients can use to arrive at a decision that’s right for them.  And we’ll talk about the importance of preparing for the night you take dinner out of the oven - a favorite story that Debra likes to share.

When it comes to making this big decision, we often find that clients already know that ending the marriage is inevitable, they just have some fears that we called “The Big Buts” in episode #75. They worry about finances, their kids, and conflict. They don’t know where to start and they truly don’t understand the process, their options, and the amount of control they have over the cost, the amount of conflict, and the outcome.

That’s why we encourage you to partner with your client to develop an exit strategy. This means helping them gather the information they need and develop action plans to remove the fear and uncertainty around when and how to divorce. Fear is not only the obstacle that keeps individuals stuck in unhealthy, unhappy marriages unable to make decisions or take action, but it’s also the number 1 driver of cost and conflict in divorce.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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We're reaching to our back catalog to share one of the most popular episodes as Tracy and Debra take a quick summer break. We'll be back next week with brand new content!

When people find out what we do, it's not unusual to hear “UGH, I wish I’d known you when I went through my divorce. I made so many mistakes.” In this episode, we’re reviewing the five common mistakes people make and talk about how a divorce coach helps clients sidestep those mistakes and save time, money, relational damage and emotional energy.

Right now the average divorce with attorneys in the US will cost each party somewhere in the neighborhood of $15-20,000 and can easily exceed 6 figures when you add in custody battles, forensic accounting, discovery, depositions, motions, and all the other professionals and processes. Certainly legal fees can add up quickly when conflict escalates, but there are many other costs that clients pay when divorce mistakes are made.

When clients are stressed and overwhelmed and/or driven by emotions like anger, sadness, vengeance, jealousy, or indecision, their lives are impacted on every level. While those costs are much harder to quantify, they aren’t hard to observe. And when people are experiencing these costs of divorce, they may act and make decisions that don’t reflect their best selves or their best interests.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra dive into the 5 most expensive divorce mistakes and talk through the coaching tools you can use with each.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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We're back with one of our most requested topics - how to build a solo practice that can meet your financial goals. It's been almost 6 months since we challenged you to evaluate your marketing objectives in episode #87 titled "Make More in 2024; Revenue Resolutions You Can Keep" ... so how are you doing?

Is your bank account going to be bursting the first month after you get certified? Absolutely not. And anyone who promises you'll earn $70k or more in your first year is giving you a sales pitch that's not grounded in reality.

We know first hand that the path to reaching business and financial goals in this business is fraught with challenges that require careful planning, strategic decision-making, ongoing monitoring, and persistent effort. Wishful thinking, though often tempting, can get in your way.

So today, we explore the reasons wishful thinking is detrimental to solo practice building (hope is not a strategy) and highlight some practical steps you can take to move your business forward.

The profession of divorce coaching can be a satisfying and financially rewarding pursuit, but it requires an understanding of business planning - being a talented coach is simply not enough.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

In today's episode we’re talking about 2 big topics: First, the fact that most judges in the family court system don’t want to make decisions for your family because they don’t have sufficient time or expertise to feel confident. And second, you likely don’t want them making these decisions for your family because they don’t have sufficient time or expertise.

In most states, family court judges reach the bench through election or appointment, the requirements for becoming a family court judge are the same for becoming a judge in any other court, and often aren’t required to have any prerequisite experience handling family law cases.

We chat about the complex role of a family court judge and how inexperience, lack of training, and crushing caseloads contribute to inconsistencies in outcomes for families. And we share some frankly shocking research findings around what influences a judge's decision making.

Finally, we share some realities of the family court system that might make you think twice about taking your dispute to court. After all, nobody knows your children, your life, and your priorities better than you do.

SPECIAL OFFER
Get affordable, professional divorce support with DCA groups. Be one of the first 10 new members to sign up and use coupon code FREEGROUP to get your first month of coaching for free. Go to: divorcecoachesacademy.com/groups

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Have you heard the saying, "A word can start a war, but a conversation can bring peace"? 

We adore this saying because it encapsulates a universal truth about the power of communication in both escalating and resolving conflicts. Communication is basically a double-edged sword; it can both spark conflict and yet serve as a means to resolve it. 

Understanding this duality is crucial in effectively managing and resolving conflicts.  So today, we are highlighting how communication can act as both a source of conflict as well as a vehicle for conflict resolution.

Misunderstandings, poor communication skills, assumptions, emotional triggers, and non-verbal cues can all ignite or exacerbate conflicts. Conversely, clear communication, active listening, constructive feedback, collaborative problem-solving, trust-building, and emotional regulation can effectively resolve conflicts. Understanding and navigating this duality is crucial for anyone seeking a more peaceful approach to any conflict they face.

We can help our clients develop more effective communications skills  utilizing techniques such as EAR statements, BIFF responses, and Yes/And... strategies. Check out these past episodes for more on these tools:

Fighting Words - 13 Tips to Keep Divorce Conflict From Going Off the Rails
Magic Words in Mediation - Negotiation Language That Works

In any conflict, we have a choice to use communication to ramp things up or cool them down. Choose wisely.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

When clients don’t feel good about their attorney, it makes a difficult process even harder and more complicated. So today, we thought it might be helpful to dive into when and how to go about hiring a legal professional so folks can find the right help and the right fit.

Much to our dismay, it still seems that most people believe the first step should be to go out and hire a fierce divorce lawyer. We know you’re probably getting all kinds of advice from friends, family and the internet that you need to protect yourself by getting the toughest lawyer out there so you can fight for what’s yours. But is that really what’s needed? And even so, is it the first step someone should take when thinking about divorce?

In this episode, we answer the questions:

• Does everyone need a lawyer?
• When should you consider hiring a divorce lawyer?
• What are common mistakes people make when choosing an attorney?
• What questions should you ask in a consultation?
• What's the right way to hire a legal professional?

Whether you choose to retain a full-service attorney, use one on a consulting or as-needed basis, or just consult with a few to get some initial opinions and input, the lawyers you choose to interact with will have a big impact on how your divorce proceeds.  A certified divorce coach can support you in identifying if you need an attorney, when to schedule consultations, what's important for you to ask, and how to choose a legal professional that's right for you.

Check the DCA® Coach Locator to find a certified divorce coach: Coach Locator

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Our featured guest today, Heather Cary, is a trusted member of the DCA team and is an experienced Divorce and Co-Parenting Coach and Mediator who is dually certified as a DCA® Certified ADR Divorce Coach and a CDC® Certified Divorce Coach. She holds a Masters of Education, is certified as a New Ways For Families Co-Parent Coach, is trained as a Mediator, serves as a Parent Educator in her local area, and is a member of the Oregon Association of Collaborative Professionals.

Today, Heather and Debra talk about the benefits of support groups for individuals going through divorce. Specifically we discuss the advantages of a professionally facilitated group like the affordable ones offered at DCA for just $75/month.

People often seek information, advice, and support from friends, family, Google or Facebook but because that information is generic, it doesn't always help clients make the best decisions for themselves. 

The DCA groups are facilitated by certified, professional ADR divorce coaches who are committed to offering both information and personal support in a consistent and safe online environment for topics like:

• How to stay sane while on the emotional rollercoaster
• How to negotiate effectively with your STBX (soon to be ex)
• How to make hard decisions with confidence
• How to parent your kids through this transition
• How to get organized and prepared
• How to save money and understand your options
• How to make the best use of time with your attorney

Listen in to learn how DCA is combining community support and professional divorce coaching for just $75/month and how it can provide amazing benefits for you, your clients, and families.

Group Coaching: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com/groups

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]