Divorce Coaches Academy

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

According to social media, just about everyone is divorcing a narcissist. And you may be hearing this from your clients. In this week's episode, we talk about why it's important to work with clients to drop the label and focus on strategy.

NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) is fairly rare, but if we look at the diagnostic criteria, we can see a ton of overlap between NPD and the self-interested behaviors we see from scared, angry people going through divorce. What we call "good people behaving badly".

Regardless of whether your client is divorcing someone with NPD, someone who's a total jerk, or someone who's just really angry right now, the truth is that they have a choice to make. They can obsess over their spouse's bad behavior or they can turn their attention to what they do have control over. They also have a choice as to whether they show up with a can of gasoline and some matches or they show up with a fire extinguisher.

By focusing on the label of "narcissist", clients can set themselves up for a couple of problems. First, they may create unrealistic expectations that proving "narcissism" will create an outcome in their favor. You all know from experience, that it isn't labels or diagnoses that impact parenting plans or property settlements, it is evidence of behaviors. So help them shift to strategy and create documentation rather than trying to prove that their spouse is a jerk.

Second, continuing to use that label of "narcissist" can allow our clients to perpetuate the story that something is happening "to" them and it leaves them feeling helpless, hopeless, and powerless.  Instead, let's help them focus on the strategies of protect and respond. Use the legal system to get agreements and orders to protect themselves AND be prepared to respond in a way that saves their sanity if their spouse or ex continues to behave badly.

If your client is divorcing one of these HCP's (high conflict personalities), you can also help them head off future conflicts by using powerful questioning to identify specific details they might want to include in their divorce agreements to eliminate ambiguity.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

This week we want to encourage you to talk money with your clients. Financial professionals (like CDFA's, CPA's, and forensic accountants) certainly play a role in divorce, but as a divorce coach, we don't want you to be afraid to dive into the topic too. 

It doesn't matter if calculators make you nervous or you failed high school algebra, you can provide a lot of value working with your client on at least these 2 things: 1) their divorce budget and 2) their post-divorce budget.

We know you're already talking with clients about the options available to them for ending their marriages (pro se, mediation, litigation, etc...), but are you discussing how much money they want to spend ? A divorce budget is simply being intentional about choosing a process and making decisions that don't put your client in difficult position after divorce. You're simply asking them to consider where they will get the money  and how it will affect their future well-being if they spend $20k, $50k, or $100k in legal fees. 

Next, you are MORE than qualified to start helping them tackle the idea of a post-divorce budget. In other words, how much is it going to cost them on a monthly basis to live on their own? Where will they live? Can they qualify to refinance the house and afford all the associated expenses? How much will health insurance be? This work shouldn't be put off because it is an important filter through which your client will be making divorce decisions like:

• Whether to keep the house
• How much spousal support they need
• If they need to work and much they need to earn
• If trading retirement assets or investment accounts makes sense

As their case progresses, there may be a need to add a financial professional to the team, but don't shy away from starting these discussions with your client. There's a lot of good reality testing that can happen here.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

What's a divorce coach? How you answer that question is important for 2 reasons. It's an opportunity to advocate for the profession and you have the chance to do some grassroots marketing. In today's episode, Tracy and Debra dive into the specifics of how you can answer this in a concise and impactful way.

Professional divorce coaches work with clients along a big continuum and provide so many benefits, it might feel hard to answer this question without rambling on and on. But remember, the person on the receiving end probably doesn't want to drink from a firehose. Give them a 15 second elevator pitch version - an appetizer so to speak - and then see if they ask for more.

Debra offers a template you can use to craft your own elevator pitch. You may want to create a few different versions depending on whether you are talking with an attorney, a soccer mom, or a local businessperson. Speaking with targeted language will help your listener connect and get your message heard.

The first 15 seconds of your answer to the question "what's a divorce coach?" are critical to advocating for the profession and planting the seed for future sales. Be intentional about what you say and how you say it.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Do you feel pressured to be all over social media? Are you spending hours designing posts, creating reels, and trying to gain followers? Do you love it or do you avoid it like the plague?

In today's episode, we talk about the phenomena of social media and how divorce coaches can make smart choices around their use of social media as a business strategy. The keyword here is strategy and we encourage coaches to be clear on the reason behind their use of social media. There are many reasons you might choose to have a social media presence including:

• Credibility
• Brand awareness
• Community engagement
• Lead generation
• Product sales

Once you're clear on the purpose (strategy) behind your social media, the next key is to track your metrics to be sure you're achieving your goals. Debra shares a favorite quote by Lori Taylor "Fans are vanity, but sales are sanity". If you have 10k followers, but aren't booking any clients, is that a successful strategy? Is it worth the time and effort you spend every week?

What if you hate social media? Then don't do it! There are many successful divorce coaches in the space who have no social media presence - they are finding their clients through grassroots marketing efforts. Check out the episode Making Your First $10k: Relationships and Referrals for more on this powerful strategy.

Social media can be one tool in your marketing arsenal, but as with all marketing strategies, your goal should be to use it with intention.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

You're a what? A divorce coach?

Divorce coaching is still a relatively new profession and today Tracy and Debra talk about what you can do on an individual level to help spread the word about the value we add for clients going through the divorce process.

It all starts with professionalism in your individual practice and insuring that each and every client has a great experience with you.  Next step is talking about what you do in your local community and don't underestimate the power of that elevator speech. Being able to accurately describe what you do in a couple of short, impactful sentences goes a long way with people you meet.

Then there are the State and National organizations like the ABA, APFM, AFCC, IDFA and others where divorce professionals gather. They offer conferences, continuing education, and presenting and writing opportunities. And finally, mentoring new divorce coaches is another way to invest in the future of the profession. 

1. Individual Practice Standards
2. Community Involvement
3. State Organization Connections
4. National Organization Membership
5. Continuing Professional Education
6. Mentoring

However, let's not overlook the importance of mindset when it comes to advocacy work. You must have the confidence to speak up, the belief that you deserve a seat at the table. When you are operating as a professional and are committed divorce coaching as a credible profession in the divorce space, then you'll be ready to start your own advocacy campaign.

We invite you to join us on the 1st and 3rd Tuesdays for our Case Consultation & Mastermind Group if you'd like to brainstorm ideas or get some encouragement.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

We are thrilled to bring you another coach spotlight interview today with fellow CDC Ashley Wood, also known as The Conscious CoParent.

Ashley Wood is a CDC Certified Divorce Coach® in service to parents who feel overwhelmed by divorce, hopeless about co-parenting, and concerned about how living in two homes may impact their children. As a coach Ashley helps parents regain a clear sense of direction, reduce conflict with their former partner and support their children’s growth and resilience through all of the challenges and changes associated with family restructuring.

Ashley says a common question she gets from clients is whether they should be co-parenting or parallel parenting. She encourages them to take a step back and examine their own needs, their own best self/core values, and how they want to model resilience to their children.

She and Tracy talk about how the foundation of divorce coaching and the concept of exploring our best selves is so critical when it comes to making it through all the big changes that divorce and co-parenting require of us. Ashley reminds us that children's ability to be resilient and make it through this process are based on 3 main factors:

1) The parent's ability to support a healthy relationship with the other parent
2) The parent's ability to reduce the child's exposure to conflict
3) The parent's ability to focus on their own parenting skills

While we can work with our clients to communicate effectively with BIFF or EAR statements, the bottom line is that we cannot control anything our co-parent does or doesn't do. We can help our clients continue live well and be the best parents they can be regardless of how the other parent behaves.

Work with clients to prioritize their own needs, establish boundaries, and let go of the need for control - these are the keys to a post divorce life of peace for themselves and their children.



You can find Ashley at the following links:

Website: www.ashleywooddivorcecoach.com
Social Media (IG, TikTok, FB etc.) @theconsciouscoparent
Podcast: Split. The After Ever After Podcast
FREE Support Group via Circles App: The Conscious CoParent Connection

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Interpersonal conflict is a part of our everyday lives, but divorce can magnify any conflict that already existed in the marriage. Tracy refers to divorce as a conflict petri dish.

In today's episode, we talk about how getting additional training to become a conflict resolution expert can provide your clients with even more tools and skills to manage conflict during divorce and beyond.

Families spend an exorbitant amount of money on divorce because the process is unfamiliar (read scary) and they don't have the skills necessary to engage in productive conflict and negotiation. We believe highly skilled divorce coaches can change that.

Although most divorce coach training programs introduce the concepts of conflict resolution, our 6-week DCA™ Divorce Conflict Coach training offers the next level of expertise you need to truly help clients make that shift. Debra gives a sneak peek into the upcoming class by sharing some of the goals for working with clients in conflict and a few of the characters you'll meet in class (you'll love Raging Regina, Clueless Carl and the rest of the bunch).

The 5 C's of conflict coaching are:

- Clarity
- Comprehension
- Choices
- Confidence
- Competence

The next session begins August 25 and we hope you'll consider adding this specialty to your divorce coaching practice. You'll get some cool letters after your name and your clients will get better outcomes. And those are both good for your business.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

DCA™ Divorce Conflict Coach Training: https://www.divorcecoachesacademy.com/courses/divorce-conflict-coach-aug-2022

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

First impressions matter and it's never more important than when you're onboarding a new client. Once you've had that consult call and the client says "yes", the next experiences they have with you set the tone for the rest of your coaching relationship.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra talk through the 5 critical steps that create a foundation for a smooth and professional relationship with clients.  Whether you use a coaching platform, a scheduling system, or prefer a more manual approach, having a standard, repeatable process means a hassle-free experience for both you and your clients.

1. Coaching agreement
2. Payment
3. Initial session
4. Scheduling future sessions
5. Communications

We also discuss the idea that professional expectations beget professional respect. Maintaining good boundaries with clients enables them to take responsibility for their own coaching results. We are not in the business of doing the work for clients, but offering an environment where they are invited to be self-directed and take control of their own process.

As professionals in the divorce space, divorce coaches want to be seen as credible, valuable team members - and a professional client experience helps build that reputation. If you haven't taken the time to up-level your client onboarding process, we encourage you  take some tips from today's episode. Both you and your clients will benefit.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

We're excited to bring you another spotlight coach interview with our CDC colleague Cindy Stibbard.

Cindy is the driven and compassionate entrepreneur and CEO behind Divorce ReDefined, her Vancouver-based separation and divorce coaching practice. After going through her own high-conflict divorce, this passionate and determined mother of two, became inspired to help others successfully navigate this difficult time in their lives. As a Certified Divorce Coach® and Certified Divorce Specialist, and trained Relationship Discernment/Decision Coach, Cindy created her unique practice to help people on an international level through every stage of their divorce.

Cindy was gracious enough to spend some time with Debra to chat about how divorce coaches play a key role in helping those going through divorce choose the right professionals for their team.

We talked about how the divorce coach is the most underrated player in divorce today. Cindy uses the analogy of a concierge to describe how a coach works as the single go-to person who helps clients find the resources and information they need to feel informed and in control.

Cindy and Debra examine why having the right professionals involved can set clients up for successful negotiation, good decision making, lower costs, better co-parenting relationships, and better outcomes.

Divorce coaches truly do play a critical role in helping clients build their professional dream team.


You can find Cindy at the following links:
Website: https://www.divorceredefined.ca/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorceredefined/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@divorceredefined


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Today's discussion is all about how to start making money in your divorce coaching practice. We see far too many talented professionals ditch their dreams of achieving financial success and want to share some tips for hitting your first $10k without all the expense or heartache.

Being a great coach with impeccable coaching skills is one part of the equation, but if you're not selling to those you come in contact with in your daily life, you're missing out on the relationships and referral opportunities that can jumpstart your business.

Statistics show that 20% of small business fail within the first year (OUCH) and  we don't want  you to be a statistic!

Listen in as we share the four keys to accelerate making money in your business:

1. Share your elevator speech
2. Close consult calls
3. Nail the takeaway and celebrate results
4. Ask for the referral

As a professional divorce coach, you have the solution to your potential client's problem. Remember that by sharing that message (selling) you are making sure the client doesn't walk away with that problem still in their hands (helping).

DCA™ is committed to your success as a practicing, professional divorce coach and that means helping you reach your financial goals.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]