Divorce Coaches Academy

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So, we did a thing.  After 2 years of offering continuing education for divorce coaches who are already certified, we've made a decision to launch our very own certification training.

Tracy and Debra talk about the reasons why they chose to design and develop their own curriculum and why they believe this program is revolutionary in preparing coaches to work within the new landscape of divorce.

Some of the topics discussed:

• The overall shift from family court to mediation and other ADR processes
• ADR is still less effective than it could be when the individuals aren't prepared or lack the skills to productively engage in the process
• Why we believe these skills can be learned and how they save families time, money, and emotional distress during divorce and beyond
• Many coaching programs focus on coaching competencies, litigation strategies, or divorce recovery - ours focuses on getting to agreement
• Why our program is designed the way it is - it's longer and requires a mentor coaching component after the educational part of the course
• How a coaching certification is just the beginning of your professional training and education
• Where to learn more about the program
• And lots more

If you're thinking about a career as a professional divorce coach, or know someone who is, please check out our new DCA™ Certified ADR Divorce Coach training. We may be biased (OK, we are), but we believe it is the most current, most comprehensive training on the market.

We recently chatted with Susan Guthrie on the Divorce and Beyond podcast about our new certification and The Future of Divorce Coaching.  She's a pretty big fan of our approach and we couldn't be more thrilled to have such a thought leader in the industry. validating our work.

So listen in and spread the word. We're ready to get this revolution started!


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Divorce Coach Certification: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com/pages/divorcecoach
Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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Attorney-client relationships are complicated in divorce. And we're guessing that you hear the same common complaints that we do - clients are frustrated that they aren't able to communicate with their attorney in a way that feels effective.

This week we're talking about some of the issues that contribute to this dynamic and what you, as a coach, can do to support your client in taking steps to improve communication with their attorney.

First, you can assist your client in turning their fears into questions. Rather than dumping all their emotions and anxiety into an email to their attorney, help them distill all of that into a few specific legal questions. That will ensure they get the legal advice and guidance they need in a cost effective way. It will help their attorney help them.

Next, you can work with your client to get back in touch with their own power. Especially for those that are coming out of relationships where there's been a power imbalance, they may be deferring to their attorney because they see them as being in power over them.

And finally, you're a great thinking partner to help them assess if it's a relationship that can be turned around or if they'd like to interview some other attorneys to see if they want to look for someone who's a better fit.

No matter what kind of frustration your client is experiencing, your coaching skills can support them in identifying their fears, distilling specific questions, editing emails, sitting in on meetings, and making decisions about changing attorneys. You have the ability to help them take back control of their own divorce process.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Today we're preaching about the much overlooked topic of the divorce budget. That means talking with your client early on in your coaching relationship about the amount of money they'd like to spend on their divorce.

Why is that so important? Because they can't get a Lamborghini divorce on a Kia budget.

Cultural norms tell people that if they want to get divorced, they have to hire a full-scope attorney. And yet we hear consistently from clients that they aren't happy with their attorney-client relationship. And that's because they jumped the gun. They hired someone before they thought through their divorce budget.

A lawyers.com study revealed that 75% of respondents hired an attorney to get their attorney fees paid for. What? They hired an attorney and then had to pay the attorney they couldn't afford to try to argue that their spouse should pay their attorney fees? That's some backwards thinking.

When clients start divorce without an understanding of the process, without preparation or without thinking through the implications of their decisions, they set themselves up to be a passenger on a runaway train. Costs and conflict can escalate before they know what happened.

If you're fortunate enough to work with a client at the very beginning stages of their divorce, we really encourage you to have this divorce budget conversation with them. It will help them make intentional decisions that are in alignment with their goals and insure that they aren't spending money on legal and professional fees that would be better spent on a kid's college, a downpayment on a house, or starting a business.

If your client wants a Kia divorce, they need help to be accountable that their actions and choices will help them achieve that goal. Otherwise, they might end up with a really expensive car they can't afford.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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It's gonna be OK. You're going to get through this just fine. You'll be so glad when it's over.  Focus on the good.

In today's episode, we unpack why we believe these kinds of statements aren't just ineffective from a coaching standpoint, but can actually harm clients.

 Toxic positivity is defined as the act of avoiding, suppressing, or rejecting negative emotions or experiences. This is not optimism, this is repression or denial. And when we, as coaches, reject or deny the negative feelings our clients are expressing, we block the ability for them to process the story of their divorce.

We can even take it so far as to say it can be a form of gaslighting when we deny a client's feelings. They're telling us something is hurtful or painful, and if we respond with a placating, positive statement like "you'll be fine" or "it's going to be OK", we have essentially gaslit them by denying their feelings.

Our job is to validate their feelings. To recognize their negative emotions and help them sort through them so that they can take appropriate action.  Our role is to be a coach, not a cheerleader.

Listen in for a great analogy from college football and some coaching alternatives to standard toxic positivity responses.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

We're thinking (not overthinking) about our upcoming book club on Jan 25 and our read this month is "Soundtracks" by Jon Acuff. The author tells us that "when we don't control our thoughts, our thoughts control us. If our days are full of broken soundtracks, thoughts are our worst enemy, holding us back from the things we really want. But the solution to overthinking isn't to stop thinking. The solution is running our brains with better soundtracks."

And that got us talking about how we see both coaches and clients get stuck in the trap of overthinking.  The consequence when we overthink is that it makes us feel stuck, and when we feel stuck, we don't take action. We linger and feel worse.

Some of the causes of overthinking for both coaches and clients are:

Rigid thinking: all or nothing, black or white, succeed or fail
Perfectionism: the desire to control the outcome, being risk averse
People pleasing: too much input creates confusion and overwhelm
Lack of confidence: don't trust ourselves to make the right choice
Decision fatigue: overwhelmed by the number of decisions that need to be made

If overthinking is keeping you or your clients stuck, here are some of the tips we talked about:

1. Recognize that you're not taking action and be self-aware that you're stuck
2. Give yourself permission to have a growth mindset, to be imperfect
3. Limit forecasting too far in the future, just take the next right step
4. Assume you might do it wrong because it's your f'ing first time

And a few reflection questions to dig deeper:

Q1: What is the cost if I continue to delay making this decision?
Q2: What's the worst thing that could happen if this choice turns out not to be the right choice for me in the future?
Q3: What am I afraid of?

Put words to your fears and reality test what's really getting in your way. Then you'll be on your way to changing your overthinking from a super problem into a superpower.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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We're so excited we're about to bust at the seams. Because we've been invited to present at the ABA (yes, that's the American Bar Association) Dispute Resolution Spring Conference in Las Vegas in May. Advocating for the profession of divorce coaching is one of our core values and we're thrilled to be able to raise awareness about the great work you're doing for families!

And we're going to talk about you! The title of our presentation is:
How Divorce Coaching Prepares Individuals for Effective Conflict Resolution.

 Why is this such a big deal you ask? Because, according to the ABA website, this is the "largest ADR conference in the world. Attendees gather to learn the latest in dispute resolution techniques and trends, exchange ideas with the experts and their peers, and strengthen professional relationships. The conference is the meeting place for dispute resolution leaders, mediators, arbitrators, ombuds, judges, attorney advocates, court administrators, neutral providers, ADR consumers, and legal educators."

The theme of the conference is Leading Change Through ADR: Strategies for Navigating Our World Today  and they asked us to answer the question "How can our community lead the way towards empowerment and self-advocacy?"

Empowerment and self-advocacy? That's our wheelhouse! What an amazing opportunity to have the chance to speak to such a diverse and important group of ADR professionals about the value of professional divorce coaching. When individuals have the personal support they need to engage in the process with the necessary skills to resolve conflict, negotiate, and get to agreement, the ADR community as a whole benefits. No matter which ADR process our clients participate in, they are more likely to show up with the skills to manage emotions, de-escalate conflict and productively move toward resolution.

Win-Win! And what a way to celebrate the new year!

Want to learn more about the conference? We'd love to see you there.
Click Here for Conference Info


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Do you secretly struggle with imposter syndrome? Maybe you don't recognize it as that, but it can show up in sneaky ways that prevent coaches from stepping into their full potential. In today's episode, we talk about the many ways we see imposter syndrome present in new coaches and what you can do to see it and challenge it.

We work with coaches all the time on their failure to close consult calls, agonizing over pricing and packages, taking on too much pro bono work, having porous boundaries with clients or being afraid to follow up. It also looks like perfectionism, analysis paralysis, or taking training after training to feel good enough. Imposter syndrome sounds like "I don't feel like I should", "I don't feel like I can", and "I don't feel like I'm ready".

It all boils down to the question "Am I good enough?" And when coaches struggle with that self-doubt, they become a barrier to their own success. But it can be overcome by looking at ourselves realistically and then addressing what needs to be changed.

First things first. There is no wrong way to be you. Second, let's acknowledge that you are a pioneer - you are forging a new path in a profession that is relatively new. There's no clear roadmap for you to follow or measuring stick to assure you that you're "doing it right". The good news is that gives you the freedom to do it your way.

One of the keys to clearing out that self-doubt is a supportive, encouraging community with professional mentoring. A place like our Case Consultation & Mastermind Group where we can help you reflect, correct, and gain the confidence you need to get out there and reach for your goals.

If any of this is resonating with you, we encourage you to join our community and let us help you kick imposter syndrome to the curb.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

In this week's episode, Debra is joined by recent DCA™ Divorce Conflict Coaching graduates Dori Braddell and Sue Horwitz to talk about their experience in the training and how they've been able to put their new skills to use.

Dori and Sue were gracious enough to take time out of their busy schedules to discuss how they had been struggling with helping clients manage conflict, what prompted them to enroll in the course, and the biggest takeaways they got from the experience.

Both are certified divorce coaches who have significant training and experience under their belts, and yet, they were missing the science behind conflict, the specific tools to use with clients, and the confidence to lean in.

Listen in as they share what a difference conflict coaching has made in their coaching practice and for their clients. We hope you'll consider adding this speciality training to your 2023 professional development calendar.

If you'd like to be the first to know when the next session of DCA™ Divorce Conflict Coaching opens, join the wait list today.

Feel free to reach out to Dori or Sue to ask them ALL the questions about their experience in the class. Trust us, they're believers!

Get in touch with Dori:
Website: www.thedivorcementor.ca
Email: [email protected]
Instagram: @divorcementor
Facebook: @thedivorcementor
LinkedIn: Dori Braddell

Get in touch with Sue:
Website: www.suehorwitzcoaching.com
Email: [email protected]
Instagram: @suehorwitz
Facebook: @suehorwitzcoaching
LinkedIn: Sue Horwitz


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Today on the podcast we're doing some myth busting. If you think you're bad at math or have been afraid to dive into divorce financial matters with your clients, then keep listening. We're going to give you the confidence to jump into the deep end.

Of course financial professionals provide a ton of value in divorce and they serve a necessary role. Nobody wants amateurs valuing a business or valuing a pension, doing forensic or fraud investigation, or providing tax advice. BUT, and it's a big but ... there is so much you CAN do with clients to help them make good decisions.

That's why we're offering the Financial Foundations from a CDFA 4-week course starting in January 2023. To give you the information, tools, and even spreadsheets you need to do this foundational work with clients.

So many clients show up with $$$ fears - are they going to have enough? This is an answerable question starting with the client's budget. First their divorce budget - how much do they want to spend on their divorce, how much do they have available, and what process and what decisions would they have to choose to stay within that amount? And next, their monthly budget. What are their cash flow needs. You can work to help them identify both of these. You can also help them document their assets and debts and begin to create proposals that address their needs.

And when an outside financial professional is needed, you'll work with your client to determine who they want to hire and the scope of work they want to have done.

There's no need to punt all the financial work to the pros when you've got a CDFA to show you how to do it!


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Did you know that, at least in the US, the first business day in January is known as "National Divorce Day"? That's because historically that's the day that family law attorneys get the most inquiries from people thinking about starting the divorce process.

There are many reasons January is the heaviest month for divorce filings. It might be that it's a new year and they can't imagine spending yet another year in that unfulfilling marriage. Or perhaps the stress of the holidays put them over the edge. Or they made a decision months ago and have just been hanging on until the holidays are over and the kids are back in school.

Whatever the reason, we want you to be thinking about how you are preparing right now for the increase in potential clients.

We know that divorce coaches can be extremely helpful and effective when brought in at the very beginning - before that client hires an attorney. So how are you using your marketing language to help potential clients understand that value? What are you posting on social media? What are you saying when people ask what you do?

The current economic climate is a perfect opportunity to talk about saving money on divorce. Most people are seeing a hit to their property values, investments, and retirement accounts so there is even less to divide now. As a divorce coach, how are you communicating the benefits you offer in helping them choose a less expensive process, make better decisions, and manage emotions - all of which reduce their costs.

If you want to build your practice in 2023, we urge you to intentionally get ready for National Divorce Day.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]