Divorce Coaches Academy

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You had your own divorce experience and felt called to become a professional divorce coach to support others through the process so they could have what you needed. We applaud you for wanting to make divorce different for others. But in this week's episode, we are telling a cautionary tale  to remind everyone of the importance of coaching from our scar, and not from our wound.

When coaches aren't able to set aside their own personal divorce experience, it's much more likely they will hear the client through their personal filter and step out of neutrality. We begin to hear phrases like "you should" that indicate the coach is putting on their superhero cape and trying to save the client rather than asking the curious questions that allow the client to self-discover.

We're inviting you this week to reflect, to look closely in the mirror, and examine if there is anything clouding your vision. Do you find yourself having strong emotional reactions or getting triggered? Do you hear yourself making recommendations instead of asking questions? Are you feeling the urge to save your client from making a mistake that you made? Are you making assumptions about their spouse or their situation based on your experience?

If so, we encourage you to spend some time processing that and identifying where you might still need to do some healing. We also encourage you to join our Case Consultation & Mastermind Group - it's a safe space for you to get feedback to explore if your vision is clear or cloudy. 

Absolutely, use your divorce experience - it adds great value to your coaching practice. Just be sure your wound is healed so you don't bleed on your clients.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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Being a solopreneur as a divorce coach is hard. but we don't want you to feel like you have to do it alone. In this week's episode, Tracy and Debra talk about why they believe every coach should have a community.

According to an ICF (International Coaching Federation) study, 4 out of 5 coaches fail. We find that shocking and are committed to doing everything we can to insure that those statistics do not apply to divorce coaches. That's why we established the Case Consultation & Mastermind Group and frankly, we don't understand why more coaches aren't taking advantage of it.

Therapists are required to have some sort of clinical supervision on an ongoing basis to insure 1) standards of practice are being met and 2) self-care and professional growth are being prioritized. Why should the "helping profession" of coaching be any different?

Divorce coaches are entrusted with helping clients make some of the most important decisions of their lives and the work we do often involves a ton of heavy stuff.  Who is supporting you when you feel overwhelmed by the weight of it? Where is the community you can go to for refreshment, new ideas, encouragement?  Who helps when you aren't getting the financial results or client success you hoped for?

We urge you to consider joining us. We don't want you to burn out or give up. We want to offer the professional, supportive environment you need to keep going and keep advancing. You really don't have to do this alone - we have a village just waiting for you.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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Bring on the haters, but we're gonna say it. We don't recommend attorneys or other divorce professionals to clients. And we think it's risky business for coaches to do it.

In this week's episode, Tracy and Debra chat about the reasons they don't share lists of recommended professionals with clients. Aside from the fact that both of them work nationally and internationally, it's not a practice they employ with local clients either.

The number one reason is because it takes away the client's agency. It strips them of the power to make their own divorce decisions. Coaching is about helping the client self-discover what they want and what they need, so why would choosing an attorney or a CDFA be any different?

Often clients come to us feeling overwhelmed, uniformed, and anxious about what to do next. We add the most value to helping them explore their fears, prioritize their needs, and determine what information they need. If they decide they need some outside expertise, we can best support them by identifying the interview questions they need to ask to determine if a given professional is the best fit for them. Then after those interviews, we can process what they learned so they can make the right choice for themselves.

One of the risks we run when recommending or referring is that we can't know who is fit for an individual client. Just because a previous client had a good experience doesn't mean that this client will. And if they don't? Now you're in the hot seat. And that's not good for your coaching relationship or your business.

Your best bet is to stick with coaching rule #1 - Ask, Don't Tell.  Use your powerful questioning skills rather than giving your client a list. You'll be protected and it will serve your client better in the long run as they gain confidence to make their own decisions.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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Last week we talked in some detail about the importance of having a signed coaching agreement in place with clients. This week we expand upon that by diving into the topic of professional boundaries - those necessary limits we must set to protect ourselves, our businesses, and our mental health.

Let's begin with the whole idea of professional expectations. Every business has policies and procedures that outline the who, what, how much, and when of the relationship. Do you expect your doctor, who sees hundreds of patients, to disregard his or her office policies for you? We're guessing you don't. You accept those boundaries because you respect their time and their expertise as a professional.

Boundaries are simply teaching people how to treat us. One of the first rules of boundary work is identifying where we are violating our own boundaries. When we are feeling resentful, put upon, take advantage of, or angry ... it's time to evaluate if a boundary is missing or an existing boundary is ineffective.

If a consult call is scheduled for 30 minutes but it goes for an hour, you need to own that you are allowing that. Same goes for session times. If you're late to the next client because the previous client ran over, that's affecting your business. If you find this is happening, re-evaluate what action you need to take to end those calls on time.

Other common situations include cancellations, reschedules, and requests for out-of-session text, phone or email support. What policies are set out in your coaching agreement and are you executing those consistently? If your agreement says that clients get one cancellation with less than 24 hours notice before they are charged and you let a client cancel last minute 3 or 4 times without charging them, you need to ask yourself what is preventing you from following through on that policy?

We encourage you to be intentional about your policies. Take time to review what's working for you, what's not, and what's missing. Then update your agreement accordingly and be consistent in protecting your own professional boundaries.


 You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Are you tempted to skip the paperwork and start working with a client before you have a signed coaching agreement in place? In today's episode, Tracy and Debra discuss the importance of those coaching agreements for your practice and your protection.

First things first. Professionals require agreements or contracts before they commence work - attorneys, mediators, contractors, doctors, massage therapists - all require us to sign some kind of agreement that outlines the rules of engagement. If we want to be seen as professional, why would we provide services without an agreement (or payment)?

An agreement is critical to making sure you and your client both clearly understand the expectations within your coaching relationship. Providing details about services and confidentiality can increase client confidence and trust in you. But you aren't just helping people through their divorce, you're running a business. And your business deserves protection, so be thorough about defining the limitations of your coaching and don't forget those financial boundaries.

Ok, it's important, but what should your agreement include? Here are some of the components we review in today's episode:

• Roles and responsibilities of the coach and the client
• Services included
• Payment policy
• Cancellation policy
• Refund policy
• Confidentiality
• Indemnification

Whether you choose an automated solution like Debra or a more manual one like Tracy, we encourage you to create an agreement that works for you and set that professional boundary that work does not commence until a signed agreement is in place.


 You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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Catchy title, huh? This week we're not discussing the pros and cons of whether you and your clients use colorful language in session, we are talking about being mindful of the language we use and the impact it can have on the coaching experience for clients.

One of the main goals of coaching is to help your client self-discover their own goals and priorities so they can make decisions that are right for them. They likely have a lot of people around them telling them what to do. When we use phrases like "I think", "I believe", or "You should",  we become just another one of those voices.  It takes the spotlight off of them and puts it on you as the authority. Resist the urge to tell, and reframe those as powerful questions to help the client determine their own path.

In the interest of showing empathy, we often hear coaches say "I understand". And while that may seem validating, we run the risk of minimizing their unique feelings and experiences when we say that. Clients want to feel heard and understood, but they also want to feel special. We challenge you to find ways to validate them and say "I hear you" while respecting that no one else (even if you've had a similar experience) feels what they feel.

And finally, let's avoid making promises we may not be able to keep. While it's tempting to want to reassure clients with "It's going to be OK" or "You're going to be fine", we don't know that we can deliver that.  And your definition of "OK" may be very different from your client's. It is much more accurate to say that you'll be with them on every step of the way or you'll be their biggest supporter and encourager.

Next time you're in session, be mindful of these and other phrases that could negatively affect your client's ability to get the most value of your relationship.


 You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

One of the hardest parts of divorce for any parent is the idea of losing time with their children.  In this episode, we discuss how divorce coaches can help clients process some of the obstacles that get in the way of crafting parenting plans that focus on the needs of the children instead of the needs of the parents to maintain their identity.

Navigating timesharing and decision making can tough issues when it comes to designing a parenting plan. Neither parent wants to feel as if they're being delegated to take a back seat in their child's life When parents feel that the role they've played is being threatened, emotions run high and negotiations stall.

Our job as divorce coaches is to help our clients shift their mindset and understand that their status or position as "mom" or "dad" is not defined by the percentage of time the children spend with them. Their status as a parent is irrefutable and unchanging. Their ability to be the "math homework helper" or "boyfriend breakup counselor" or "soccer team cheerleader" is not altered by a calendar.

The child's perception of their parent's identity has not changed. Children do not see their moms or dads differently because they are not physically present. The only thing that will cause a child to view their parent otherwise is a parents' own actions. Gatekeeping behaviors like making disparaging comments or restricting access can confuse children about parental roles - timesharing does not.

The big question we can help clients answer is: "Am I making this about me or am I making it about my child?" This isn't easy work. Holding up a mirror to help clients see and move past their identity threats requires a lot of affirmation and validation. And it requires helping them shift from seeing it as a loss of identity to an opportunity to expand their identity.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Marketing isn't just about getting your name out there in front of potential clients. You also need to make some big decisions about what products you're selling and for how much. In this week's episode, Tracy and Debra talk through some of the factors to consider when you are putting together your programs, packages, and pricing.

First things first...and that means speaking to your client's problem, their pain point. What are they struggling with and how can you help? Listen to the episode "You're a What? How to Effectively Describe What You Do As a Divorce Coach" for some tips on how to craft the specific language you can use to speak directly to your audience. These "problems" are the basis for your programs - or the types of services you offer.

Next, you'll need to decide what kind of commitment you're asking from your client - these are your packages. Because coaching is relationship based and action oriented, most coaches find that offering single sessions doesn't get the client results they're looking for. They prefer 3, 6 or 8 session packages. This allows for trust building, feedback loops, and real transformation. It also allows enough time to develop traction and results that keep the client engaged for a longer term.

Finally, there's pricing. Your individual pricing may be driven by a number of things, but primarily we find that geography and level of service are the primary considerations. If attorneys in your area charge $500/hr, then you may be able to charge more than someone who lives where attorney rates are $200/hr. And are you offering concierge level service where you are accessible at all times and for unlimited calls and texts or do you limit yourself to session times? You'll want to price accordingly and explain that to your clients.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

We know the best way to help children in divorce is to insure an ongoing, stable, loving relationship with both parents. But in reality, that's not always easy for our clients. Co-parenting can be a nightmare. Today, we discuss how, as divorce coaches, we can support our clients shift in mindset to be able to communicate effectively and shield their kids from the conflict.

Sometimes the hardest transition is parents moving from being stakeholders in each other's lives as a married couple to business partners whose only concern is their children.  Restructuring that relationship can take some time. We can help clients identify other times in their lives when they've had to forge an effective working relationship with someone they didn't like. How were they able to do and how can they use those skills and strategies to manage their new co-parenting relationship?

We can also hold a mirror up and ask our client to examine if any of their behaviors are contributing the the trouble. In other words, are they failing to check their own sh&t? One person absolutely has the ability to create a shift in the relationship dynamic and if your client is throwing fuel on the fire, then they need to have some accountability for that.

And don't forget to spread hope. Hope that everyone is in crisis right now, everything is uncertain. It's entirely possible that once the ink is dry on their agreement and things settle down, their co-parenting relationship may experience a shift as well. Sometimes a few months or a year makes a big difference.

The best news? Strategic communication is a skill that can be learned. Partner with your client to craft those effective BIFF responses. You'll be amazed at the transformation as they begin to write their own strategic responses and get to experience that peace and freedom. And help them understand the implications of failing to take a pause. When they react emotionally and fire off that nasty text or email, it could compromise their case.

Be sure to check out our Conflicted Co-Parent Divorce Coach Training Intensive if you're interested in adding this specialty to your divorce coaching practice.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Are you a relatively new divorce coach and wondering when the money going to start coming in? How long does it really take to start making a living at this? In this week's episode, Tracy and Debra give you the unvarnished truth about what (and how long) it really takes to get a successful divorce coaching practice up and going.

As a solopreneur, how do you know what's normal? If you look at Instagram and TikTok, it might seem like every coach is making $10k a month within their first 90 days. We're here to tell you that's a bunch of BS. It's not you - you are not failing.

Realistically, a new business venture takes 18-24 months to get to the point where it is profitable enough to be paying your (reasonable) monthly bills. And that's if you're putting in a significant amount of effort. If you're pursuing it as a side gig, extend that timeline quite a bit.

And, remember, you're not just starting a new business, you're starting a new business in a new profession. If you say you're a carpenter, everyone understands what you do. A divorce coach? Not so much. Check out our episode You're a What? How to Effectively Describe What You Do As a Divorce Coach for some tips on how to talk about our profession.

Business planning is critical. What timeframe have you allowed yourself? What income targets have you set? Are you targets reasonable - have you considered taxes and expenses? Are you having enough conversations?

Pro bono coaching is awesome - we love that you're doing that. I's a great way  to get experience and put some raving fans out there in the world. But when is it time to move them into paid status? Resist imposter syndrome and the temptation to undervalue yourself. And finally, throwing more money at other "experts" like business and social media coaches who don't know our niche isn't likely to accelerate this business building process - it's just going to leave you  with the same frustrations and less money in the bank.

We believe in you and your ability to achieve financial success divorce coach. We can help.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]