Here's what you need to know about Episode 21:

• Scott went to a hotbed of Corona virus over Christmas to look at a college.

• Dan’s weekend consisted of seeing a friend on Christmas Eve, trying not to cry in front of his kids on Christmas; making it to the driveway after a quick stop to see them.

• One of the two Levy Bros. stayed up every night until 2am trying to convince randos to come to his place to hang out. (You can guess which brother did that.)

• Dan walks off the show (32 minute mark). For real. It gets heated.

The main topic focuses on the tug-of-war exes have around the holidays, especially when it comes to who gives the kids what gifts.

• How do you coordinate with your ex to make sure the kids get what they want, but it doesn’t turn into a tug-of-war for your kids’ love and/or loyalty?

• What do you do if you — or one of your kids — thinks the other parent is trying to buy their favor?

• How do you decide who gets to be the “fun” parent after divorce? Can both parents be the “fun” parent?

• Does the parent who was never the fun parent overcompensate now that they have to fill both roles when the kids are with them?

•  Who gets the memorable moments? The “firsts?” The big life events?

 - Teaching kid to drive for the first time…

 - Disney & Vacations

 - Sporting events

• What if your ex takes one of those firsts away from you? What if it’s not malicious?

On today's show, we talk about life insurance and making sure you (and your kids) are set up in the event something tragic happens, with life insurance agent and financial pro Dawn Aversa, who shares her personal and professional journey that you will not want to miss.

Here's a rundown of the show:
Min 0-4: Intro, Dan and Scott share their favorite Christmas song

Min 5-10: Do you want to know about your new SO's past? Do you want them to know about yours?

Min 10-23: We answer listener mail, in which (another) Nicole asks for Scott's help, as she's been single for nearly as long as him and seems to attract narcissists and competitive jerks.

"Please share some of your experiences to give me hope I won't grow old alone."

Min 24-45: Dan and Dawn talk about preparing for the future. Dawn is not only a divorced parent of two young girls, but she's a single parent, going at it alone since her ex husband passed away last year. He did not have life insurance, so she instantly went from co-parenting with two incomes to having to handle everything on her own, with no financial support for her or, most importantly, the kids.

That experience frames a lot of her career path, and also informs a lot of the questions we discuss.

The interview covers:
• Term vs Whole Life coverage
• How much should you have per kid?
• What do you do if you and your ex have your policies intertwined before you get divorced?
• When should someone get life insurance?
• For someone newly divorced without life insurance, what would be the best, and most cost-conscious, type to purchase?

FOR THE FULL INTERVIEW, CHECK OUT OUR EXPERT INTERVIEWS PLAYLIST or visit DivorcedDadPlaybook.com. To contact Dawn directly, you can email her at: [email protected]

Mins 45-65: Scott shares some of his personal experiences when it comes to life insurance and how he is setting his personal finances up for his kids in the event something were to happen. And we get a few wonderful quotes, like:

"I'll handle the eulogies. I've already started."

"At that moment I started writing dad's eulogy. Is that bad?"
"It's weird."

"Three times what you just would have spent on bacon."

And, from earlier in the show, a show-title option any other day: "You're a hopeless romantic and I'm a guy with a thumb covered in jelly."

The guest on this episode is Alexandra Rigden, a practicing divorce attorney who is part of the family law team at Cooper Levenson in New Jersey. Free legal advice is great, but Dan quickly realizes he should have hired her 10 months ago.

For more info, or to contact Rigden directly, visit her page on the Cooper Levenson website.

Topics during the interview include: 

• How Rigden's own divorce has impacted the way she does her job. Has having gone through a divorce made her better at her job, or vice versa? 

• How has Covid impacted the number of divorces being filed? (This answer may surprise you.)

• Did you know divorce has an off-season?

• How many clients are repeat clients? This includes repeat customers — "I've Been Married A Week, Can I Get A Divorce Again, Please" – and, more seriously, those who need to go back to their attorney to either amend or enforce their divorce agreement.

• When is it worth getting your lawyer involved? And when do you try to just work it out?

The rest of the interview can been seen in full on our site, including a phenomenal answer to this: What important questions do people NOT ask their lawyer but should?

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As for the rest of the show, Scott and Dan talk a lot about family, dealing with an upset ex (and how not to let it impact the kids), sharing custody during the holidays and what you should do with that text message you're about to send your ex.

After the interview, Dan has found his soulmate. And yes, Scott calls him an idiot.

And we talk about a question we were asked by a listener: Do you love your kids differently after getting divorced?

And lastly, which is weirder, matching with someone who has the same name as your mom/dad, your ex or your kid?

Welcome to the podcast dedicated to stories about hooking up with homeless people.

On this episode, the Levy Bros. celebrate HANUKKAH! Or is it CHANUKAH! Or HANUKA? In any event, songs are sung, dreidels are spun and plenty of arguments are had. Here's a look at some of the notable quotes from the show:

“Congratulations to me, I’m in tune with my body.”

“Happy Challah Days”

“This is the worst episode ever.”
“It’s only the worst episode because it isn’t all about you.”

“Your scruff could chafe her face.”

“Men are developmentally stunted.”

“Lube it up, guys! Lube!”

“Soft Lips, they help. A lot of things. If the lips are soft, you can do a lot of stuff.”

If…you show that you care about your body, yes, the other person who you’re with is going to notice that, and is going to say, “oh wow, this guy cares about himself. He’s just not whipping things out willy-nilly. He’s taking care of himself, just in case things get willied or nillied.”

“I met a guy on Tinder who was homeless, only clued in when he wore the same crappy clothes on 3 dates.” 

“Another tip for guys: If you’re going out with multiple people, remember what you wore when you went out. Take a picture of it in the mirror, send it to your most trustworthy female friend before you go out and say, “does this look good? Is this good first date material? Are my pants rolled up too high or not high enough?” 

"Remember what you wear on dates because you don’t want to double up on the first few dates. You want to show the woman you have more than one nice shirt.” 

“Like who you are today.”

“Don’t think the best of people; Think the average of people or worse than that.”

“Good from far, far from good.”
 
“Don’t whore your kid out on your dating profile trying to attract a man. It’s not a worm on a hook. That’s not right to put your kids’ face front and center on your dating profile.   It’s not right. It’s not good parenting.”

“You have our kids on your dating site? No…that is not kosher.”

Today's show is called, "Dad's gotta poop." It could also be called, for parents of younger kids, "Daddy's gotta doody."

In fact, rather than write a whole recap of what Scott and Dan discuss, here is an AMAZING list of actual quotes from this episode that all could have been the title.

• She’s kicking your ass out.
• I’ll sneeze my ass off so I don’t have to sit here alone.
• You don’t have a home to come back to.
• You can live with me, your dad is awful.
• Then I make out with homeless women, or some such.
• Single for the first time in 20 years and terrified.
• Dad’s gotta poop. 
• Or for younger kids, daddy’s gotta doody.
• 40 percent of all swipe rights are done on a toilet. 
• Every important decision in my life happens on the toilet.
• You can’t swipe and wipe with the same hand. THAT is life advice.
• I’m not doing this to sow my oats. My oats have been sown. I don’t have any oats left. 
• Not just on dates, but being present is life is paramount. It’s critical. 
• If you got rid of me you’d have nothing. 
• Well, to be real, everybody loves blanket forts.
• Our new best writer is a 10 year old.
• Why is everything I say a competition with you? 
• God, you’re a Psycho. 
• You are literally like a 10 year old.
• Guess what…simple sucks.
• Enjoy your sits on the toilet, buddy.
• I might actually go head first into the toilet.

AND HERE ARE A FEW LONGER QUOTES.

• It’s so great to involve you kids in things that you care about, especially when they are better than you at all of those things. 

• I’m trying to stay focused. It’s not so easy, even when you’re trying to stay present and focused. Whether its’ with your kid, or your kid brother, it’s not always easy to stay focused. 

• I feel like I might have been born in the wrong decade. 

• I don’t think that’s surprising that anyone would listen to us and realize that you’re disagreeing, and disagreeing so emphatically, with a thought that I would have with regards to where I’ve been.  

• It was just a simpler way. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong. I’m not arguing with you. I’m just saying it was a simpler way that we had seven channels and not 1700 channels and 10 streaming services and the internet and social and everything. it’s very hard to be present.  

• You’re “Simpler Times”ing our audience. You are now saying, “oh, it was a simpler time.” Guess what…simple sucks. There’s nothing good about being simple. 

• This show went 15 minutes long because you just simpler time’d us. 

Dude, that was like three minutes and it only went longer because you freak out about the wrong things. 

Before this episode started was a simpler time. 

• Enjoy your sits on the toilet, buddy.

I might. I might actually go head first into the toilet.

This is a long episode. You can listen in 3 parts.

Part 1: 
Scott got a note from a listener, Jim, asking what he should do about his marriage during the pandemic. He is separated and heading toward divorce, but in the time of Covid, how will that impact the kids? Both Scott and Dan share their experiences going through the divorce process. With Dan's being so recent  — technically he got divorced during the pandemic — this conversation will resonate with a lot of you, whether you've just started the process of divorce or are finally moving out.

Part 2: 
Personal Trainer Robin O'Brien joins the Bros. to talk about ways to stay fit and healthy when all our gyms are closed. We discuss how getting divorced can put a newly-single parent on a totally different schedule, and what to do when your workouts and regular exercise are what suffer. 

"You have to make a commitment, you have to put it in your calendar, and you have to plan. Just like with anything we do."

We discuss how to get our kids involved in the exercise process. It's important to keep expectations achievable. 

"Even with our kids, we have to set them up for success. We're not going to give them unrealistic goals that they're not going to be able to achieve and then they feel bad about themselves. So why would we do that to ourselves?"

Part 3: 
We discuss the worst date ever story where listener Kami went on a date to a fancy NYC restaurant with a guy AND HIS DOG (go ahead and try to beat that).

We also talk about some of the fallout of Tinder's recent tech glitch that put all of its clients' old matches back up to the top of their match list. AWKWARD.

And, to end it, Dan shows Scott some dating profiles, and Scott has to decide if Dan matched with the woman or not.

If you ever wanted to know what a show would be like when Dan hadn't slept in 36 hours, BOY DO WE HAVE A TREAT FOR YOU.

We also have a guest on this episode. Interior designer Nicole Grey is on the show to talk about holiday decorating when you share custody with your ex. Who gets the ornaments? Do you still put up old ornaments that might be difficult memories for you, but the only memories of those years your kids may have?  And how do you make your new place feel like a home for the kids, but also make sure it doesn't look like a frat house? 

There's more with Nicole on our site as well, including some great tips for how to maximize both space and your budget when downsizing or upsizing after your split.

As for Scott and Dan...there's the typical brother banter you've become accustomed to. Dan oversteps the boundaries of decency at least twice and Scott actually caught two pop-culture references in what's definitely a watershed moment in podcast history.

Dan got a match on Bumble from a woman whose entire profile is in Japanese. Oh, and he finally pays off his Beastie Boys story. And, yes, he was an idiot.

We talk about some of your initial feedback and comments from our first 12 episodes that dropped just before the long weekend, including #co-parenting with a #narcissist. 

Ooh and Scott and Dan get in their first real argument!

For once, Dan feels like the "been there, done that" expert of the duo, as this is really Scott's first foray into being a voice on the internet. As Dan points out during the show — and if it were shorter it would have been the title of this episode — "That's what you said: 'that's not what I said and that's not what I meant.'  That doesn't matter, man. You're on the internet now. What you meant does not matter. What matters is what other people hear you saying. And sometimes what you say and what you mean is not what other people hear.

"I'm not saying it's right...your intentions do not matter to people. It's what you words say to them, and this is a totally different beast."

Dan talks about how he's had to deal with that his entire career, and how he allowed the negative to, as he put it, "tackle the positive" to the point where it broke him.

That's kind of the lesson in this entire episode, and really the Playbook as a whole: Find the positive in a situation and focus on that. Listen to the feedback no matter if it's positive, negative or neutral, but don't let the negative break you. Find more joy in the positives of life.

Thanksgiving is here, and for some of us that means a long holiday weekend with our kids. For others, it might mean four days alone. In a pandemic.

Whether you're chasing your kids around all weekend or grabbing a beer chaser while you watch football by yourself, we wanted to take a minute to talk about what we are so thankful for as parents this year. 

2020 has been a tough year for a lot of people, but there is still so much to be thankful for. Scott and Dan Levy share what they're thankful for this year, and ask for you to share with our community what you're thankful for this year, too.

Ah, Covid around the holidays. We, like most families, are Zooming into Thanksgiving. This will be Dan's first Thanksgiving not being married and Scott took the opportunity to remember how awkward last Thanksgiving was...for HIM. The brothers discuss the hoops we all have to jump through to have a family Thanksgiving this year and Dan gets accused of trying to kill their parents. 

Will Dan's recent reckless behavior kill his parents? Stay tuned...

This episode also introduces another resident expert for the Divorced Dad Playbook, as we include our interview with psychotherapist and mindset coach Missy Beck.

Beck is both a school counselor and a therapist in private practice, which gives her unique insight into the type of damage a protracted  – and acrimonious – divorce can have on your kids.

How much do our kids pay attention to marital tension? Aren't they too preoccupied with their devices?

"Kids are little sponges. They absorb everything. [They are] picking it up, even on a cellular level."

We discuss the concept of conscious uncoupling, and how an amicable relationship with your ex can greatly benefit your kids. 

"If we couldn't be married well, let's at least try to end things well."

It wouldn't be the Divorced Dad Playbook if we didn't make fun of at least one of the Levy Bros. Scott took the brunt of this one, as we learn what Scott used to eat for lunch when the two worked together.

You. Will. Not. Believe. What. He. Ate.

Scott and Dan resume their chat after the interview, as Dan explains how he finally used restraint when it came to a possible physical interaction. Is this growth? And why is Scott so fascinated with the positions Dan puts himself in with women?