Allison and I share our childhood dance dreams while talking about Lara Spencer making fun of 6-year-old Prince George liking ballet. But before we badly twirl over to that subject, we dive into the MTV VMAs and cover Missy Elliott owning the show, John Travolta giving us the sequel to Adele Dazeem, Miley Cyrus’ wet […]

This episode is a tad shorter than usual, because it’s my dog’s birthday, and I have to fulfill my contract as a human with a dog by humiliating him with a hat on his head, a HO-made ugly dog cake in his face, and a butchered version of Happy Birthday in his ears. But in […]

It’s our one anniversary from the day we sent you screaming to urgent care with a case of genital warts of the ear holes from listening to us. After we celebrate that, we talk about the fact that Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth didn’t make it to their one year wedding anniversary. We also get […]

Allison and I use up whatever is left of our minds by trying to wrap it around the WTF union of Lindsay Lohan and the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia. Once we unwrap whatever is left of our minds from that pillar of bizarre, we talk about Mario Lopez’s mouth getting him in trouble for […]

Professor Allison educates myself and other not-knowing-about-milk-bags Americans about bags of milk after a reader asks her to explain it. But before Allison delivers a quick history of bolso leche, we talk about Armie Hammer and that toe sucking video, Duchess Meghan and Prince Harry’s neighbors being told not to pet their dog, and the […]

This episode is sponsored (for free) by Pizza Hut’s Stuffed Cheesy Bits Pizza, because that’s what Allison ate before we recorded and it gave her a chemical high that made her hallucinate the image she paints when we talked about the meth gators of Tennessee being a joke. But before that, we talk the Cats […]

It’s all about the Emmys for the first part of this episode, and Allison and I start off with slandering Game of Thrones left and right (so plug your ears GoT nerds) and then we end with Allison cooing out an ode to Ripped Mac from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. After our Emmys coverage, […]

Allison and I butchered the pronunciation of Versailles, Kentucky in the last episode, so we right that wrong at the beginning of the episode. Once we ask for penance from Kentuckians, we talk about the dumb racist backlash of Halle Bailey getting cast as Ariel in the live-action The Little Mermaid, Meghan McCain’s possible exit […]

We commemorate the born day of America with a little test, a test that I would totally get an F- at. I ask Allison questions from The Naturalization Test to see if she has the knowledge needed to proclaim that she’s AN AMERICAN CITIZEN while getting arrested in Atlanta like Laura Jeanne Poon (aka Reese […]

While talking about Whoopi Goldberg going full Whoopi Goldberg over taking and sending nude pics, Allison dips into the gutter with me by learning what a “hole pic” is. And after I taint Allison’s innocent mind, we talk about the demise of Lindsay Lohan as a Mykonos beach club mogul, foodie calls, and whether or […]