Doing Divorce Different with Lesa Koski

In this episode of "Doing Divorce Different," Attorney turned Mediator, Lesa Koski, shares her insights and advice on how to alleviate the fear of divorce and heal through empowerment. She emphasizes the importance of working on oneself before making the decision to divorce, and how this can positively impact the relationship dynamics. Lesa also shares personal anecdotes and lessons learned from her own marriage, highlighting the transformative power of self-love and setting boundaries. Tune in to discover valuable tips and resources for navigating the divorce process in a better way.

- Episode Highlights:

- Introduction to "Doing Divorce Different" and the host, Lisa Kosky.

- The significance of working on oneself before contemplating divorce.

- How personal growth and self-love can positively impact the marriage.

- Personal experiences and lessons learned from Lisa's own marriage.

- The transformative power of changing one's mindset and embracing self-care.

- Exploring resources like books, podcasts, and coaches to support personal growth.

- Practical tips for changing negative thought patterns and beliefs.

- Invitation to a workshop on the seven dilemmas women face in divorce, taking place on April 25th and emphasizing self-care and community.

- Encouragement to connect with Lesa Koski for further support and sign up for the newsletter.

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

Lesa’s Masterclass

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

In this podcast episode, Lucia Ramirez Levias, a collaborative law attorney, shares her personal journey that led her towards a career of helping people work together instead of fighting it out in court. Graduating with an aim to do immigration law, she found a niche in family law, which she ultimately blended with her experience in youth development work before law school. With collaborative divorce, Lucia discusses how it fosters a peaceful and durable settlement that mitigates the negative impacts on children, unlike traditional litigation. She emphasizes the role of a professional team consisting of collaborative attorneys and a divorce coach. While acknowledging that power dynamics and domestic violence issues can prevent engagement in collaborative law, Lucia still sees potential for its effectiveness in some power imbalance situations. Lucia advises listeners to consider their high-end goals to guide them during the divorce process.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Presentation

00:46 Lucia's Journey to Becoming a Collaborative Law Attorney

03:33 The Impact of Traditional Family Law and Transition to Collaborative Divorce

05:32 Understanding Collaborative Law

09:42 The Role of a Divorce Coach in Collaborative Law

11:09 Personal Experiences with Divorce

16:15 When Collaborative Law Might Not Be the Best Option

20:06 The Difference Between Collaborative Law and Litigation

24:36 Final Thoughts and Key Takeaways

Lucia's Website

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

Lesa’s Masterclass

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Today is all about communication. Lesa is sharing some of her favorite communication tools that she teaches her mediation clients. These tips can help you whether you are working through divorce mediation, navigating collaborative law, or having issues with co-parenting. Tune in to hear Lesa’s 5 tips to communicate better. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. 

Resources

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

Lesa’s Masterclass

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

I am so honored to introduce my FREE Co-Parenting Masterclass. This masterclass shares tools to co-parent well even with a difficult co-parent. You will learn the 5 C's of a Co-Parenting Plan and a free bonus resource with Certified Divorce Lending Specialist, Tami Wollensak, sharing what you want to consider regarding the family home. Sign up to receive a video replay at https://www.lesakoski.com/co-parenting-masterclass

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

Navigating Loneliness in Relationships

In this podcast episode, host Lesa Koski takes on the topic of navigating loneliness with the help of guest and family therapist, Brian Burns. They discuss how loneliness can be a fundamental issue in marriage and relationships, often motivating individuals to avoid divorce out of fear of isolation. Brian offers insights on tackling loneliness by practicing outward-focused interactions, self-awareness, and open communication, emphasizing that individuals should focus on their feelings when attempting to communicate their loneliness to a partner. Brian also advocates for couples to seek therapy and emphasizes that the process is about working on oneself in front of their partner.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction

00:20 Discussing Loneliness and Its Impact

00:55 Guest's Podcast and Its Themes

01:35 Exploring the Topic of Sex and Communication

03:00 Diving into the Feelings of Loneliness

03:43 The Fear of Loneliness in Divorce

04:39 Loneliness as a State of Mind

05:24 The Societal Impact of Loneliness

06:14 Strategies to Combat Loneliness

07:02 The Role of Communication in Addressing Loneliness

07:33 The Power of Small Interactions

01:34 The Importance of Self-Reflection in Understanding Loneliness

11:25 The Role of Alcohol in Social Interactions

11:51 The Power of Texting in Building Connections

13:54 The Role of Mindset in Addressing Loneliness

18:43 The Importance of Honesty in Relationships

24:30 The Role of Marriage Counseling in Addressing Loneliness

28:36 Conclusion and Guest's Contact Information

Find Lesa at:

Lesakoski.com

https://linktr.ee/lesakoski

Find Brian at:

MN Relationship Repair: Home

MN Relationship Repair

https://www.mnrelationshiprepair.com

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Do you find yourself getting lost in people pleasing? Traci is back to talk about what people pleasing is and how you can start living for yourself. People pleasing is in the eye of the beholder, and sometimes it may feel good to be available for the people around you, there may also be times when you feel like you are being dragged around to do what everyone else wants. Tune in to learn how to become grounded and confident in what you desire, and how to place boundaries to protect what you want. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. 

Resources

Tracy Pleschourt Instagram

Tracy Pleschourt Website

Tracy Pleschourt Facebook

Tracy Pleschourt LinkedIn

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

Lesa’s Masterclass

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

I am so honored to introduce my FREE Co-Parenting Masterclass. This masterclass shares tools to co-parent well even with a difficult co-parent. You will learn the 5 C's of a Co-Parenting Plan and a free bonus resource with Certified Divorce Lending Specialist, Tami Wollensak, sharing what you want to consider regarding the family home. Sign up to receive a video replay at https://www.lesakoski.com/co-parenting-masterclass

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

Across all the mediation meetings I have had, there seem to be seven common dilemmas that come up. I have teamed up with my coach, Tracy Pleschourt, to put together a half-day workshop to empower women to suffer less while going through divorce. During this episode, Tracy and I give a sneak peak into the seven dilemmas, and what we will cover regarding each one during the workshop. If you are local to the Minnesota area and looking for support, tune in to hear about this wonderful opportunity to not only work through common roadblocks, but also meet other incredible women who are on the same journey as you. 

In this episode:

• [3:58] What is one of the top stories that Lesa’s clients face?
• [7:28] Lesa discusses working through parenting concerns.
• [9:44] Lesa shares about emotional impact and how it can impact your divorce journey.
• [12:09] How can people handle the social stigma or the judgment around divorce?
• [14:10] Lesa talks about how she will give legal information in the upcoming workshop. 
• [15:08] A huge dilemma that comes up is loneliness in divorce, how do you manage it? 
• [18:52] Tracy describes her program, Self Made U.

Key Takeaways: 

• [10:18] When you leave your feelings in the dark, you can’t heal. Acknowledging those feelings and bringing them to the light is the first step to being able to heal and find clarity and opportunities for what you are experiencing.
• [11:00] When you are operating from your prodigy brain, you are more likely to be able to look through the lens or find the perspective around gifts and opportunities. 
• [17:00] Join Lesa and Tracy’s master class on April 25th from 9am-1pm in Minnesota to learn how to navigate the 7 most common dilemmas that Lesa has seen while being a divorce mediator. Learn strategies from both Lesa’s experience and Tracy’s coaching so you can better navigate the circumstances you are going through. 

Quotes: 

[10:13] “Teaching the people at the workshop how to really feel them (feelings), because coach Tracy, you taught me that anything in the dark can’t heal. So when we try to fight those feelings or pretend we don’t have them or ignore them, they’re in the dark when we go “hello there fear, or anxiety, or whatever you are,” it comes to the light and that’s the first step in being able to heal.” - Lesa Koski

[12:52] “I think when you find yourself swimming in judgment, you have to decide to prioritize your well-being over societal opinions and stigma. You have to challenge the stigma by refusing to internalize those judgements. You have to be able to separate the fact from the fiction of how society views divorce, like leveraging empathy for yourself.” - Tracy Pleschourt

[15:42] “If loneliness is getting in the way of you being able to get through your day, then therapy is definitely the path that you want to pursue. If it’s just something that you’re starting to recognize, but you’re still able to get through your day, you’re still able to manage your day, then coaching is probably the right path for you to take.” - Tracy Pleschourt 

Guest Bio: 

Tracy Pleschourt, the Founder of Self-Made U helps men and women create Self-Made wealth and wellness through life coaching. Tracy has mastered and now teaches the critical skills necessary to manage your mind and overcome any obstacle, including overeating, over drinking, time management, career & relationship changes.

Just a few years ago, Tracy was a successful, advertising executive. Stifled by the rigorous, time-consuming demands of the corporate world, she traded in her 20 years of advertising to pursue her real passion: life & weight loss coaching.

Tracy is a student of her own work and has stopped overeating, overdrinking, and created a multi six figure business while mastering metabolic health.  Today, Tracy coaches people all across the country who want to do the same.

Tracy dedicates her work to ambitious, life-long learners yearning for answers and seeking a better way to create the results they desire and deserve. She instills confidence and a call to action that leads to unlimited wealth and wellness.

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Do you find yourself getting lost in people pleasing? Traci is back to talk about what people pleasing is and how you can start living for yourself. People pleasing is in the eye of the beholder, and sometimes it may feel good to be available for the people around you, there may also be times when you feel like you are being dragged around to do what everyone else wants. Tune in to learn how to become grounded and confident in what you desire, and how to place boundaries to protect what you want. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. 

Resources

Tracy Pleschourt Instagram

Tracy Pleschourt Website

Tracy Pleschourt Facebook

Tracy Pleschourt LinkedIn

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

Lesa’s Masterclass

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

I am so honored to introduce my FREE Co-Parenting Masterclass. This masterclass shares tools to co-parent well even with a difficult co-parent. You will learn the 5 C's of a Co-Parenting Plan and a free bonus resource with Certified Divorce Lending Specialist, Tami Wollensak, sharing what you want to consider regarding the family home. Sign up to receive a video replay at https://www.lesakoski.com/co-parenting-masterclass

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

Regulating your nervous system is the number one thing you can do to handle difficult situations. Today, I have Sharri Freedman on who is a divorce, relationship and women’s empowerment coach. She talks about regulating your nervous system, and why it is so crucial while going through a difficult time such as divorce. She provides a great breathing exercise and talks about how she helps her clients with visualization so they know what direction they want to work towards. We discuss why it is necessary to be uncomfortable in order to change, and how to really become conscious with your everyday life. Tune in today for her incredible tips, I know you’ll learn something new! 

In this episode:

• [2:35] Sharri tells her story of what led her to become a coach.
• [7:54] How do you regulate the nervous system? 
• [13:08] Sharri walks us through a breathing exercise to calm your nervous system. 
• [15:17] How do you work through situations when the fear comes back?
• [16:13] What is mind magic? 
• [20:53] How can you get comfortable being uncomfortable? 
• [24:40] Sharri shares her key takeaway she’d like listeners to start with. 

Key Takeaways: 

• [5:33] All the mindset work in the world isn’t going to work if your body is not in sync. If you don’t feel safe inside your body, change is not going to happen. 
• [12:48] If you can regulate your nervous system by releasing the feelings in a positive and empowering way, you won’t erupt like a volcano. You can be in the middle of mediation or the courtroom and talk through issues from a place of calmness and clarity instead of being reactive. 
• [24:47] Divorce is painful and pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. 

Quotes: 

• [8:15] “If you're in an unhappy marriage, or if you are in the process of divorce, or maybe you're already divorced, you have been living in fight, flight, or freeze for a very, very, very long time. And we're not meant to be in that state for long periods of time. It's meant to be quick, to get you out of danger and then go back to calm and peacefulness. But we're in this jacked up state that becomes our normal and it's not normal. It causes stress and pressure constriction and it leads to disease. You're not an even flow, which then leads to a lot of physical ailments, not just mental ailments, not just stress and depression and sadness, it also actually physically affects your body.” - Sharri Freedman
• [10:55] “The key to all of it is: you have to learn to love and accept yourself, forgive yourself, and learn to date yourself before you start moving on to other relationships.” - Sharri Freedman
• [18:47] “You have to love your fear, you have to love it. If you don’t love your fear, it’s going to sabotage you. It's going to prevent you from doing what you need to do. We don't want to push through it, instead it’s acknowledging the fear is there, saying hello fear, I see you there, I know you’re there to protect me, and I want to thank you for protecting me all those years when I needed you, but I don’t need the protection right now’.” - Sharri Freedman
• [27:47] “Divorce is painful and pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” - Sharri Freedman

Guest Bio: 

Sharri Freedman is a sought after relationship, divorce, and women’s empowerment coach liberating women from their old programming, their past wounds & their disempowered limiting beliefs so that they have instant clarity when it comes to marital decisions, parenting decisions, & career decisions. 

Her signature program LIBERATED featuring the Mind Magic® framework combines her 3 decades of experience as a divorce professional with neuroscience, thought work, somatics, & spirituality empowering women to make clear heart centered decisions without regret & live the life they desire and deserve.

Resources: 

Potomac Coaching Website 

Email: [email protected]

Your Divorce Coach Facebook

Your Divorce Coach Instagram

Facebook Support Group

Happiness Hits Inspiration 

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

Lesa’s Masterclass

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

I am so honored to introduce my FREE Co-Parenting Masterclass. This masterclass shares tools to co-parent well even with a difficult co-parent. You will learn the 5 C's of a Co-Parenting Plan and a free bonus resource with Certified Divorce Lending Specialist, Tami Wollensak, sharing what you want to consider regarding the family home. Sign up to receive a video replay at https://www.lesakoski.com/co-parenting-masterclass

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. As we wrap up our four part series on believing in your future self, I wanted to do a recap of each episode. If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, we want you to know that that suffering is unnecessary, that it does not have to be a part of your life any longer. These episodes will help you to reframe how you look at the circumstances in your life and learn how to create opportunities out of difficulties. Do yourself a favor and go back and listen to the episodes to receive their true value! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday. 

Resources

Believing in Your Future Self Even After Divorce Part 1

Believing in Your Future Self Even After Divorce Part 2

Believing in Your Future Self Even After Divorce Part 3

Tracy Pleschourt's Instagram

Tracy Pleschourt's Website

Tracy Pleschourt's Facebook

Tracy Pleschourt's LinkedIn

Lesa Koski's Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

Lesa’s Masterclass

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

I am so honored to introduce my FREE Co-Parenting Masterclass. This masterclass shares tools to co-parent well even with a difficult co-parent. You will learn the 5 C's of a Co-Parenting Plan and a free bonus resource with Certified Divorce Lending Specialist, Tami Wollensak, sharing what you want to consider regarding the family home. Sign up to receive a video replay at https://www.lesakoski.com/co-parenting-masterclass

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

Going through a divorce comes with a great mix of emotions, one of which can be grief. It can be an interesting emotion to navigate as you haven’t actually lost someone to death, but the feelings feel similar. Today, I am talking with family, marriage, and grief therapist Brittany Squillace about the different types of grief and how to work through them. She discusses ambiguous loss and how it relates to recognizing the obstacles of the loss of a marriage. Brittany talks about the common experiences that people grieving divorce face, and how to support someone going through a divorce if you're not the one in the middle of it. She highlights how to grieve and move on from a divorce when you have to continue to interact with that person. Tune in to better understand what you may be feeling and how to work through those difficult emotions. 

In this episode:

• [2:38] Brittany shares the story of how she got into family, marriage and grief therapy. 
• [5:00] How does grief work with a divorce? 
• [7:25] How can you allow yourself to feel safe while dealing with grieving?
• [8:31] What is the difference between a safe and unsafe place to grieve?
• [14:09] How is the grieving of a divorce (non death loss) different from a loss from death?
• [16:20] How do you grieve and move on when you have to continue to interact with the person?
• [22:46] What is a way to give hope during a really hard time? 
• [27:05] Brittany shares one thing you can do right now to help you. 

Key Takeaways: 

• [8:32] Creating a safe space to feel your grief is essential for working through it. A safe space means talking with people who support you, who will hold your stuff and not take it on as their own. They won’t make you feel bad about it, dismiss or downplay what you are experiencing. 
• [18:42] Grief never really goes away, although it does change. There may be times where it hits you like a ton of bricks and you wonder where in the world that came from. It happens and it’s okay. What will change and what won’t feel the same over time is the intensity in which that happens and how often that happens. 
• [23:15] Whether you are going through grief or you are trying to help a loved one deal with grief early on, let them know that you will hold the hope for them. It won’t be easy navigating grief, and it won’t be linear, but being there to listen, support, and hold hope is one of the best things you can do. You can also hold hope for yourself by recognizing what you’ve accomplished and reminding yourself that you can do that thing again and again. 

Quotes: 

[8:06] “There can be some benefit in sitting with the discomfort that comes with grief. The sadness, the anger, the confusion, whatever it might be. There can be a lot of benefits in holding your own space and saying, ‘I'm okay, this is uncomfortable, but I’m okay, and I can sit here and feel these because this is real’.” - Brittany Squillace 

[24:02] “Let someone hold the hope for you. If you have a good day or you have a moment, like a good moment in your day, highlight that. That's that part of hope. So now you can start holding that hope for yourself because you're like, ‘oh, I did it once before. This was an example where things are starting to shift for me’.” - Brittany Squillace 

[27:06] “One of the main things I wanted to make sure I touch on is ambiguous loss or divorce or anything that fits within this category falls into a type of grief called disenfranchised grief, which basically means it's a loss and a grief that doesn't get recognized so then therefore we don't grieve it the way that we should.” - Brittany Squillace

Guest Bio: 

MEET BRITTANY SQUILLACE

When people learn I guide others through their grief journeys, their first response is typically, "Wow! That must be tough work." And then they ask, "Why grief work?" I’m passionate about helping you honor your own grief journey because I’ve experienced grief as well. In 2012, my paternal grandparents died within one month of each other. I was impacted not only by own grief journey, but also by watching my dad experience grief as well. This ignited my passion to create a safe space and provide healthy support for those on their own grief journey.

Resources: 

Best Self Therapy 

Email: [email protected]

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

Lesa’s Masterclass

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

I am so honored to introduce my FREE Co-Parenting Masterclass. This masterclass shares tools to co-parent well even with a difficult co-parent. You will learn the 5 C's of a Co-Parenting Plan and a free bonus resource with Certified Divorce Lending Specialist, Tami Wollensak, sharing what you want to consider regarding the family home. Sign up to receive a video replay at https://www.lesakoski.com/co-parenting-masterclass

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast