Doing Divorce Different with Lesa Koski

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Today I am sharing my experience with taking Johanna’s advice from Tuesday’s episode and seeing if I can release my anxiety. Johanna recommended closing your eyes, picturing the person where you think the unresolved issues came from, and letting them know that it’s impacting your life and you’d like to give the emotion back. Tune in to hear what I did and if I think it worked for my anxiety. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources: 

The Family Imprint Institute

The Family Imprint Institute Instagram

Email: [email protected]

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

Lesa’s Masterclass

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

I am so honored to introduce my FREE Co-Parenting Masterclass. This masterclass shares tools to co-parent well even with a difficult co-parent. You will learn the 5 C's of a Co-Parenting Plan and a free bonus resource with Certified Divorce Lending Specialist, Tami Wollensak, sharing what you want to consider regarding the family home. Sign up to receive a video replay at https://www.lesakoski.com/co-parenting-masterclass

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

Today I am joined by therapist, Johanna Lynn. We discuss the form of therapy she does, which explores epigenetics and unresolved family trauma in order to understand how it affects generations to come. She walks me through how to uncover where my unresolved anxiety may be coming from and how to put a stop to passing that down to my grandchildren. Johanna then discusses what self-regulation is and how to bring it into practice when you are feeling triggered. The information she provides really helps to open your eyes and see that your “issues” may not actually be yours, and there is an opportunity to heal them. This was such a fascinating episode, and I can’t wait for you to listen!

In this episode:

[1:55] Johanna shares her story. [5:42] Johanna explains how her style of therapy works with looking at how you were loved. [8:46] Breaking generational patterns so we don’t pass the trauma down to our children. [10:44] Johanna walks Lesa through uncovering where her anxiety comes from. [14:28] Johanna gives an example of healing generational incomplete or unprocessed grief or trauma. [17:20] What is self regulation? [20:45] How do you bring self regulation and awareness into practice? [24:12] What is one thing listeners could do to start uncovering what generational things may be coming up for themselves.

Key Takeaways: 

[18:06] When you are searching for a therapist or counselor, make sure that they are  self regulated. A lot of therapists get into this work to sort out their own stuff and they end up passing it along to their clients. [21:12] When you have gone through your own self regulation work, you are able to trust yourself more, and not give yourself away for connection. You have more boundaries, are more grounded, and have a better idea of who you want to be instead of having the environment around you squeeze you into something you’ve learned in your family. [24:52] The more you know your family history, the more well equipped you can be with your own healing.

Quotes: 

“The idea that how we were loved as a child imprints how we show up to love and, even how we navigate separation. And so for me, it was such a time to learn when everything was so raw and so vulnerable. It really allowed me to be more humble and take a look at things with a fresh perspective.” - Johanna Lynn

“How do you help yourself self regulate? You clear out your influences of the past. You start to understand - Ooh, that's my great grandma's anxiety. And that's the lens I've been looking at my decisions and my relationships through. This is how my body has been responding, but gosh, maybe it's not even mine.” - Johanna Lynn

"It's a little bit like unpacking your trunk before we're able to  fully go on that vacation. We've got to make space for the new stuff that we want to welcome in. And we don't recognize what our blind spots are. They're still a part of us.” - Johanna Lynn

Guest Bio: 

Johanna has been connected to the world of separation and divorce for 15 years, originally due to her personal situation, then as a systemic therapist focusing on restoring relationships.

Resources: 

The Family Imprint Institute

The Family Imprint Institute Instagram

Email: [email protected] 

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

I am so honored to introduce my FREE Co-Parenting Masterclass. This masterclass shares tools to co-parent well even with a difficult co-parent. You will learn the 5 C's of a Co-Parenting Plan and a free bonus resource with Certified Divorce Lending Specialist, Tami Wollensak, sharing what you want to consider regarding the family home. Sign up to receive a video replay at https://www.lesakoski.com/co-parenting-masterclass

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. There are things you need to think about when you’re going through divorce when it comes to estate planning. This includes your power of attorney and health care directive, which really should be updated, if necessary, during the divorce in case anything happens to you during the divorce process. After the divorce you’ll be able to update beneficiaries, your will, and trust, but discussions can happen during the divorce process for this as well, to see if you and your soon to be ex can come to agreements around guardianship and any other aspects that have to do with the children. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday. 

Resources

Melissa Miroslavich – Schromen Law LLC

Call Schromen Law LLC at 651-571-2515

Melissa Miroslavich's LinkedIn

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

Lesa’s Masterclass

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

I am so honored to introduce my FREE Co-Parenting Masterclass. This masterclass shares tools to co-parent well even with a difficult co-parent. You will learn the 5 C's of a Co-Parenting Plan and a free bonus resource with Certified Divorce Lending Specialist, Tami Wollensak, sharing what you want to consider regarding the family home. Sign up to receive a video replay at https://www.lesakoski.com/co-parenting-masterclass

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

Today I am joined by Attorney Melissa Miroslavich, who helps with estate planning during and after a divorce. Melissa provides so many incredible nuggets during this episode, and even I have a bunch of takeaways and things to implement into the work I do with couples. She discusses the important documents for estate planning and breaks down what each of them are. Melissa talks about how divorce can impact these documents and what needs to be changed during and after the divorce process. She also dives into guardianship and how to make decisions collaboratively when it comes to your children. Tune in to this episode to learn all about estate planning!

In this episode:

[3:02] Melissa tells us her authentic story and how she arrived in law. [6:08] What are the important documents for estate planning? [8:07] How does estate planning change from when you’re married vs divorced? [11:45] What is guardianship? [20:47] Do your beneficiaries change when you’ve gotten divorced or do you need to do something? [22:43] How can an estate planning attorney work together with the rest of your divorce team? [25:37] Melissa provides her key takeaway for estate planning. 

Key Takeaways: 

One big decision to consider while going through a divorce, that many aren’t even thinking about, is do you still want your spouse listed as your power of attorney or health care directive if something were to happen to you throughout the divorce process? 

Estate planning is really about your lifetime. You have documents that move with you throughout your life and change as your needs change.

Working through collaborative law can be a huge benefit when it comes to guardianship decisions. If you can both reach an agreement about where the children will go if something happens to both parents, and can put that in your estate plan it can allow for clarity if that unfortunate situation happens. 

Quotes: 

“I love collaborative law, and I'm on the Collaborative Law Institute board. I think that the process for divorce is so much healthier, has so much more respect and dignity for the people involved and for your family.” - Melissa Miroslavich

Guest Bio: 

Melissa works with clients to understand their individual goals to create effective, strategic, and adaptable estate plans and collaborates with clients to provide education and advice to help ensure care and asset protection. She believes estate planning is one of the best gifts you can give your loved ones. As such, she also assists pet owners in planning for their pet’s care in the event the pet owner is no longer is able.

Melissa is also a qualified neutral under Rule 114 by the Minnesota Supreme Court and was the first attorney in Minnesota to complete Pet Custody Training.  Here are our social media accounts. Let me know if there's anything else you need from me!

Resources: 

Melissa Miroslavich – Schromen Law LLC

Call Schromen Law LLC at 651-571-2515

Melissa Miroslavich's LinkedIn

Lesa’s Online Courses

Lesa’s Masterclass

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

I am so honored to introduce my FREE Co-Parenting Masterclass. This masterclass shares tools to co-parent well even with a difficult co-parent. You will learn the 5 C's of a Co-Parenting Plan and a free bonus resource with Certified Divorce Lending Specialist, Tami Wollensak, sharing what you want to consider regarding the family home. Sign up to receive a video replay at https://www.lesakoski.com/co-parenting-masterclass

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Feeling confident that there is a way to support yourself and your children after divorce and years of being a stay at home mom can feel so refreshing. Take a look at what you are passionate about and decide if there is something you can do to take that passion to the next step by building your own business. Our guest this week really helped me reflect on the business I have created and how blessed I feel to work for myself, so don’t miss this episode to see the opportunities that may be available to you! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday. 

Resources

Is Entrepreneurship Right for Me? 

Refined by Divorce YouTube Channel

Refined by Divorce Podcast

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

Lesa’s Masterclass

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

I am so honored to introduce my FREE Co-Parenting Masterclass. This masterclass will share tools to co-parent well even with a difficult co-parent.  You will learn the 5 C's of a Co-Parenting Plan and a free bonus resource with Certified Divorce Lending Specialist, Tami Wollensak, sharing what you want to consider regarding the family home. 

Register for free today at https://www.lesakoski.com/co-parenting-masterclass

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

Today I am honored to share my new friend Traci Simkins with you all! Traci helps stay at home moms going through divorce turn their passion into a small service based business. She helps them uncover what they are good at and create a way to make a livable wage to support themselves and their children. Traci provides some great examples of how she helps women uncover this (as well as providing a free resource!) and then dives into the process of working with her. Tune in today to learn more about entrepreneurship and creating an income by following your passion. 

In this episode:

[2:16] Traci shares her story. [8:17] How did Traci’s kids do when she got married for a second time? [9:57] What led Traci to start her own business after her second divorce? [11:34] What types of businesses is Traci helping women get started? [13:53] How do you know what kind of business to start? [17:15] How do you transition from your children being your world to entering back into the workforce?  [20:05] What is the process when working with Traci? [24:47] Traci shares her one piece of advice that someone can do right now for a better life.

Key Takeaways: 

[17:40] Even if you don’t think you have a passion, you do. You just need to uncover it. Then you can take that passion and see if it aligns with a service based business you could start to support yourself.  [22:06] We kind of have this idea that having a job that pays us is secure. And it can be, but you can also lose your job. You are dependent on someone else. [24:45] A lot of women tend to go into isolation mode when they are going through a divorce because they don’t want people to know about it. But the best thing you can do for yourself is reach out and ask for help. It could be a coach, a therapist, or finding a support group, but find people you can lean on. 

Quotes: 

Guest Bio: 

Born in SLC and moving to Honolulu at the age of 14, I developed an agility and adaptability that has served me well. Returning to SLC after 23 years away was a challenge, but it was nothing compared to the two divorces that followed, or to the experience of parenting.  A mother first, my children have always been the center of my world and will always be my number one priority, and raising them has been the single most rewarding experience of my life. My professional career, spanning several different industries and managing people, operations, and most recently, projects, has also provided meaning. But facing my 2nd divorce, I began to be discouraged with the corporate landscape, and was ready to shake things up, so I left to start my own small consulting business.

Resources: 

Is Entrepreneurship Right for Me? 

Refined by Divorce YouTube Channel

Refined by Divorce Podcast

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

I am so honored to introduce my FREE Co-Parenting Masterclass. This masterclass will share tools to co-parent well even with a difficult co-parent. You will learn the 5 C's of a Co-Parenting Plan and a free bonus resource with Certified Divorce Lending Specialist, Tami Wollensak, sharing what you want to consider regarding the family home.

Register for free today at https://www.lesakoski.com/co-parenting-masterclass

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. The way you end one thing, sets you up, sets the stage, and it's the way you begin the next thing. While it takes two willing people to do a divorce collaboratively, it also takes effort on each individual to be working on themselves. There will be stress that comes along with divorce, but think about how you want your life to look on the other side, and hold that vision while you go through the process. Divorce mediation and collaboration isn’t an option for everyone, however you can be confident that there are great attorney’s out there who can help support you. Collaborative divorce, mediation, litigation, the choice is yours, it’s in your hands, and remember how you end one thing sets the stage for your new beginning. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday. 

Resources

Divorce Mediation Center of Fairfield County, LLC | Attorney

Divorce Mediation CT Instagram

Divorce Mediation Resources

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

Lesa’s Masterclass

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

I am so honored to introduce my FREE Co-Parenting Masterclass. This masterclass will share tools to co-parent well even with a difficult co-parent.  You will learn the 5 C's of a Co-Parenting Plan and a free bonus resource with Certified Divorce Lending Specialist, Tami Wollensak, sharing what you want to consider regarding the family home. 

Register for free today at https://www.lesakoski.com/co-parenting-masterclass

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

Today I am honored to have a fellow mediator, Rosemarie Ferrante on the show. Rosemarie walks us through the emotional and financial prep work that is necessary to have a smooth legal divorce process. She talks about her own experience going through a divorce and how she supports her own clients with the tools they need to create a solid co-parenting relationship. Rosemarie clarifies the difference between mediation, collaboration, and what it’s like having to go to litigation. Tune in to get clarity around all the emotional, financial, and legal information that comes with divorce. 

In this episode:

Key Takeaways: 

Quotes: 

“The court system is, in my opinion, not meant for families.” - Rosemarie Ferrante

“Every family is different. What you need might be different than what your friend or your neighbor or your sister needed. Understanding all the various roles will be really important for you to be able to have the support you need to get through the process.” - Rosemarie Ferrante

“I think that the most important thing if you're contemplating divorce, is to make sure that you do understand your options for a legal process, collaborative divorce, mediation, litigation, what they are and what they aren't. And then also understand what divorce professionals you can have on your team to best support you.” - Rosemarie Ferrante

Guest Bio: 

Rosemarie Ferrante is a family attorney focusing on non-adversarial divorce through mediation and collaborative divorce. She has been practicing exclusively family law for over 25 years. Rosemarie’s goal is to provide families the resources and tools needed to smoothly transition through the divorce process. Her practice helps couples who wish to separate or divorce in reaching agreements that foster goodwill and trust, while meeting each spouse’s individual goals and needs, while most importantly, supporting ongoing positive relationships with their children, and with each other as co-parents.

Resources: 

Divorce Mediation Center of Fairfield County, LLC | Attorney

Divorce Mediation CT Instagram

Divorce Mediation Resources

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

Lesa’s Masterclass

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

I am so honored to introduce my FREE Co-Parenting Masterclass. This masterclass will share tools to co-parent well even with a difficult co-parent. You will learn the 5 C's of a Co-Parenting Plan and a free bonus resource with Certified Divorce Lending Specialist, Tami Wollensak, sharing what you want to consider regarding the family home.

Register for free today at https://www.lesakoski.com/co-parenting-masterclass

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. This week Karen McMahon from Journey Beyond Divorce, shared with us how to be a boundary setting badass! Not only did she give some incredible tips, but she also talked about how respecting your boundaries and identifying your triggers can help you work on your emotional intelligence. Not only will you come out stronger, but you’ll be an incredible example for your children by modeling how they can protect themselves from difficult situations. This was an episode you don’t want to miss. Tune in for more great tips! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes, new releases every Tuesday. 

Resources

Journey Beyond Divorce

Book Your Free Coaching Call

Get Your FREE Divorce Survival Kit!

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

Lesa’s Masterclass

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

I am so honored to introduce my FREE Co-Parenting Masterclass. This masterclass will share tools to co-parent well even with a difficult co-parent. You will learn the 5 C's of a Co-Parenting Plan and a free bonus resource with Certified Divorce Lending Specialist, Tami Wollensak, sharing what you want to consider regarding the family home.

Register for free today at https://www.lesakoski.com/co-parenting-masterclass

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

Karen McMahon, from Journey Beyond Divorce, is back for part 2. Karen teaches us all how to be a boundary badass! She shares what to do if your co-parent isn’t respecting your boundaries and paying attention to triggers that you are experiencing. She discusses parallel co-parenting and the logistical complexities of co-parenting. It is so refreshing to hear what Karen has to say, and learning how to take back your power! Tune in today to learn more about becoming a boundary badass!

In this episode:

[1:21] What should you do if someone is not respecting your boundary? [8:37] How can you best manage a parallel co-parenting relationship? [14:34] Karen talks about the logistical complexity of co-parenting. [18:34] How do you notice triggers? [20:43] If your heart wants to deviate from the parenting plan and you want to be flexible with the schedules, should you? [23:43] Lesa shares her parenting plan course. 

Key Takeaways: 

When talking to your co-parent, communicate just the facts, keep opinions to yourself. Keep your side of the street clean, which helps keep your boundaries upheld. 

You have the power to break generational patterns through your actions. Show your children how to handle difficult relationships and how to manage their emotions. Show them how powerful they can be by spreading kindness! 

When you start to notice that you are being triggered, step back and look at the situation. Understand what is being triggered and what you need to work on.

Quotes: 

“Never let somebody else's bad behavior determine yours. And it's my rule to my clients too, because I could really stoop low when I'm dealing with somebody who's disordered and angry and, but why? Why would you want to stoop low? You're giving your power away.” - Karen McMahon

“To everyone listening: Hot mess. I was the worst. I was the ugliest. I was the most reactive. I was a rageaholic. I was the poster girl for what not to be going through a divorce. I don't want anyone to think that I'm all that. I have just worked really, really hard. And it has been such a beautiful transformation that I'm so passionate about paying it forward and sharing it.” - Karen McMahon

Guest Bio: 

Karen founded Journey Beyond Divorce in 2010, after discovering that the pain of dissolving her marriage had been the very stimulus for her personal transformation.

During her three and a half year tumultuous divorce, Karen’s life began to improve exponentially. With much hard work, she embraced her new life, created healthy friendships, found her true voice, and learned to set suitable boundaries and let go of what she could not control.

Learning to live a healthy enlivened life is something that we can share with our children, creating thriving relationships with them while helping them grow emotionally strong and healthy.                        

Karen is a graduate of the world’s leading coaching institute, Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) and a Certified Member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF).

Karen’s other accomplishments include work as a NYS Lobbyist, Health Advocate, Community Organizer, and Chairperson of a NYS non-profit organization, Director of Sales and Marketing, and successful small business owner.

Resources: 

⁠Journey Beyond Divorce⁠

⁠Book Your Free Coaching Call⁠

⁠Get Your FREE Divorce Survival Kit!⁠

⁠Lesa Koski Website⁠

⁠Lesa’s Online Courses⁠

⁠Lesa’s Masterclass⁠

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. ⁠Download The Onward App⁠ today for iOS or Android!

I am so honored to introduce my FREE Co-Parenting Masterclass. This masterclass will share tools to co-parent well even with a difficult co-parent. You will learn the 5 C's of a Co-Parenting Plan and a free bonus resource with Certified Divorce Lending Specialist, Tami Wollensak, sharing what you want to consider regarding the family home.

Register for free today: ⁠https://www.lesakoski.com/co-parenting-masterclass

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast