During our monthly session with Tracy, Lesa gets coached on a difficult topic. We discuss focusing on ourselves and our image, taking away the opportunity to impact others' lives. Tracy coaches how people can become aware of their thoughts and work to change them. Tune in today to learn how to avoid spending your life chasing circumstances.

In this episode:

[4:20] Tracy coaches Lesa on focusing on how to leave people feeling a certain way. [8:26] What does it mean to have a self-made mind? [13:28] How do we neutralize and normalize our thoughts? [18:14] How can people push themselves through their difficult thoughts? [22:35] Do you want to spend your life chasing a circumstance?

Key Takeaways:

If you are so focused on yourself and your looks/image, you lose the opportunity to leave your true mark on others. Creating awareness is the first step to making changes. Without awareness, you can’t change; you must first become a master of your mind. Check-in daily and decide how you’ll optimize your day. You can’t control circumstances for the most part, but you can manage your thoughts.

Quotes:

“I want to be a person who focuses on how I touch people, how I make them feel warm and loved, and I don’t want to focus on my shortcomings.” - Lesa Koski

“You have to take care of yourself and be your best self to be a good parent.” - Lesa Koski

“When you can share the vulnerable imperfect side of yourself with your loved ones, holy cow, that changes everything. You're modeling so many things on so many levels when you can do that. And they learn so much from just witnessing that.” - Tracy Pleschourt

Guest Bio:

Tracy Pleschourt, the Founder of Self-Made U, helps men and women create Self-Made wealth and wellness through life coaching. Tracy has mastered and now teaches the critical skills necessary to manage your mind and overcome any obstacle, including overeating, overdrinking, time management, and career & relationship changes.

Resources:

Tracy Pleschourt Instagram

Tracy Pleschourt Website

Tracy Pleschourt Facebook

Tracy Pleschourt LinkedIn

Mentioned in this episode:

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Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

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Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Minnesota Mediation Trainer Dan Simon shares how to handle conflict. Whenever you are experiencing conflict with someone, you are a person in conflict at that moment because you are judging the other person a certain way. Whenever you are in that situation, step away and do an empowering activity (deep breathing, a walk outside, yoga, etc.) to get to a better place. Then come back to the situation and reevaluate how you feel. You’ll likely be set up to have a better conversation and sort through the difficult subject. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Self-Determination in Mediation Book

Simon Mediation

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa Koski Online Courses

Mentioned in this episode:

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Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

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In today’s episode, Minnesota Mediation Trainer Dan Simon talks about what it means to be a transformative mediator. He discusses what that means when working with clients and how it leaves them feeling empowered in their decisions. Dan dives into how he handles escalated conversations and creates space and light for clients to work through difficult decisions. Lastly, Dan tells us about his book Self Determination in Mediation and how it can help those outside the mediation field. Tune in today for some amazing mediation tips.

In this episode:

[1:29] Dan shares his history as a mediator. [6:39] What is transformative mediation? [9:46] Is the best part of transformative mediation when clients come up with an agreement? [12:07] Should a mediator share ideas they’ve seen with other clients or just let the clients figure out what they should do on their own? [14:53] How Dan handles an escalated conversation. [18:09] How Dan splits his time between mediation and teaching. [18:40] Dan tells us about his book, Self Determination in Mediation. 

Key Takeaways:

Mirrors and lights are used in transformative mediation. People can look in the mirror at themselves and see what they are projecting, creating space and light for individuals to breathe. A mediator should not be telling a couple what to do. Mediators are there to throw ideas around and help facilitate a dynamic conversation, not to ultimately tell clients what to do. We need to realize that we have power, aren't victims of each other, and don’t have to victimize each other. It's so important to learn to listen to other people’s points of view.

Quotes:

“Anybody who has studied communication or psychology or human relationships of any kind gets it that if we want to get to a better place, that's going to involve talking to each other.” - Dan Simon

“It’s actually the clients that are going to come up with the best agreements.” - Dan Simon

“Always be watching the clients to see if there is anything triggering them that maybe wouldn't trigger me because it's about them.” - Lesa Koski

“In this day in age where there's so much conflict, and there is so much belief in the fact that you're right and another person is wrong. I think we can all learn how to be mediators.” - Lesa Koski

Guest Bio:

Dan teaches transformative mediation in MN and CA and published the book Self Determination in Mediation with Tara West.

Resources:

Self-Determination in Mediation Book

Simon Mediation

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa Koski Online Courses

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

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Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. To re-cap, in both parts 1 and 2 of our conversation with Dr. Duana Welch, remember that you are meant to be loved! Have the courage to put in the work and find that love. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Love Science Website

Love Actually 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa Koski Online Courses

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

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Today on Doing Divorce Different, we hear Part 2 of our conversation with Love Doctor, Duana Welch. Duana discusses how to put together an ad for a dating site and spread the word that you are looking for love. She also digs in on the details of your must-have list and how to not settle for someone who doesn’t meet your entire list. In this episode, she gives so many great tips on creating an enticing ad that reflects who you are and what you are genuinely looking for. Tune in as Duana gives us her best dating advice.

In this episode:

[00:50] The next step for finding love! [3:12] Showing your dating ad to your community of friends and family creates more eyes on finding someone for you. [5:47] What advice does Duana have for photos? [12:25] Prepare yourself before you post your ad. [15:46] How are you determining your “must-haves”?

Key Takeaways:

Take pictures that show you on a great day, but not on a glamor shot or with filters. Don’t mislead people. The photos you use shouldn’t be older than 6 months. Put the word FUN in your profile at least twice! If a quality in the person is a deal breaker, do not try to get over it. There’s a reason you’ve been through a divorce, don’t set yourself up for that again. 

Quotes:

“Everyone thinks it's a numbers game; they get told it's a numbers game, it is not. It's a knowledge game. What do you know? If you know the right stuff and you can apply it, then it becomes about interacting with very few carefully chosen people.” - Duana Welch

“Know your must-haves backward and forward and how you're going to assess them. That list is indispensable. If you try this without a list, you're going to get predictably terrible results most of the time. Do this with a list! And then you can say to yourself, is he kind? That's a must-have and should be on everybody's list. Is he kind? How do I assess that? I would ask him if your ex was here, what would she say was the reason for your divorce? And then I'm going to listen really carefully not only to what he says because that can give me some good insight into who he is and whether it’ll work for me. Most people will give very different answers from what someone else says vs. what they’d say.” - Duana Welch

Guest Bio:

Dr. Duana Welch (pronounced DWAY-nah) is known for dating advice, dating coaching, online dating coaching, relationship advice, relationship coaching, and marriage coaching that relies on science rather than opinion to help men and women find and keep the love of their lives. A former professor in Florida, California, and Texas across 20 years, she has contributed to NPR, PBS, Psychology Today, and numerous other outlets and podcasts. Her first book, Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do, is now out globally in five languages; its revised and updated edition released in 2022. Love Factually for Single Parents is the second book in the series, specifically geared for finding the right partner not only for readers, but their families. All Duana’s books rely on science rather than opinion to help men and women find and keep the right partner. She is an expert for Paired, the couples relationship app. Her client practice is global, via Zoom and other technologies.

Want more love in your life? Whether you’re single, partnered, or questioning anything about relationships, get coaching with Dr. Duana Welch.

Resources:

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa Koski Online Courses

Guest Resources:

Love Science Website

Love Actually 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Love Doctor Duana Welch’s piece of advice is, “If you can find and be someone kind and respectful, your love life will probably go well. And if you can’t, it won’t.” This has been a saying for over 60 years and still holds true today. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Love Science Website

Love Actually 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa Koski Online Courses

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

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In today’s episode, we are talking to Love Doctor Duana Welch. Duana is an author and love coach who helps women find love the love of their life. Using her experience of finding love after divorce, she tells us how to get out there and find love again. Duana talks about the ten steps she has created to find a beautiful and solid relationship, also available in her book. It can feel intimidating to start dating and putting yourself out there again, but tune in to this episode for some great tips!

In this episode:

[1:19] What led Duana Welch to her Love Doctor role? [2:34] Duana gives us advice on how to start dating post-divorce. [7:48[ Duana talks about taking action to get out there, and their mindset will change as a result. [9:30] Duana takes us through the steps of her program to begin finding your match. [21:28] What should your ad look like on a dating app?

Key Takeaways:

Have the courage to look for someone. Put yourself into the dating market. Most people don't even look. Love is for those who have the courage to date. Create a list of everything you want in a partner, but be realistic. Do you have the same qualities that you are looking for in a partner? Sign up for one month only on dating apps. This tells the algorithm to keep pushing you to try and get you to sign up for another month. If you sign up for multiple, they won’t keep pushing your profile after the first month.

Quotes:

“Who we love and how successful that relationship is, has more impact on our health, our wealth, our longevity, our career success, our life satisfaction, and even our sex life than any other choice we will make.” - Duana Welch

“The first action I want people to take is to write down everything they want in a partner. Everything.” - Duana Welch

Guest Bio:

Dr. Duana Welch (pronounced DWAY-nah) is known for dating advice, dating coaching, online dating coaching, relationship advice, relationship coaching, and marriage coaching that relies on science rather than opinion to help men and women find and keep the love of their lives. A former professor in Florida, California, and Texas across 20 years, she has contributed to NPR, PBS, Psychology Today, and numerous other outlets and podcasts. Her first book, Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do, is now out globally in five languages; its revised and updated edition released in 2022. Love Factually for Single Parents is the second book in the series, specifically geared for finding the right partner not only for readers, but their families. All Duana’s books rely on science rather than opinion to help men and women find and keep the right partner. She is an expert for Paired, the couples relationship app. Her client practice is global, via Zoom and other technologies.

Want more love in your life? Whether you’re single, partnered, or questioning anything about relationships, get coaching with Dr. Duana Welch.

Resources:

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa Koski Online Courses

Guest Resources:

Love Science Website

Love Actually 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. In this episode, we hear from three different professionals on their tips for doing divorce differently. The first piece of advice is to have hope through the process. Shift from being the victim to being a survivor and allow this difficult time to be a part of your healing process. Next is to keep the conflict away from the children and create a world that is conflict free for them. And lastly, create win-win outcomes. Remove the animosity and focus on financial impacts, work together and know what the other person’s goals are. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources:

Michelle Kenney:

Peace and Parenting Facebook

Peace and Parenting Instagram

PeaceandparentingLA.com

Email @ [email protected]

Peace and Parenting Podcast

Victoria Kirilloff:

Wealth Analytics Website

Divorce Analytics Website

Financial Consultation

Victoria Kirilloff Instagram

Jenni Rochelle:

Beauty after Betrayal Podcast

BetrayalTraumaQuiz.com

Jenni Rochelle’s Website

Jenni Rochelle’s Instagram

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

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Today is our monthly session with Tracy Pleschourt, life coach and Founder of Self-Made U. During this episode, we talk about mindset shifts when looking at data in our lives. I get raw with my fears and struggles around putting together a budget, and Tracy coaches me through looking at budgeting (or any data) in a new way. She emphasizes removing the fear around the data and shares one simple step to pivot the feelings we experience when diving into an area of our lives that we have decided has to be complicated. Tune in to today’s episode to learn the practical steps of changing your mindset and allowing a shift in thoughts.

In this episode:

[4:48] Why do we fear looking at data? What stories have we created? [12:15] How to release the “hard” feeling. How could you look at the situation in a positive way? [13:35] Why do we need to look at data to make decisions? [16:30] It’s not all about making it hard. Change your mindset to make it simple. [18:25] What steps can be taken to move forward?

Key Takeaways:

The first step when going through a divorce is to do your budget. This helps in planning, in feeling comfortable and confident, and makes you aware of what the future holds. Once you have all the data and assets, you’ll know where you stand. Thought downloads. Change your thoughts away from fear. If you live in fear, you’ll never take action and sit stagnantly. Face the fear, and you’ll see it isn’t bad. Start small; change your awareness on one number, not the whole budget. Change one variable ever so slightly, and you will see results. This is the same in any area of your life.

Quotes:

“I don't care if it's the bank account or it’s what the scale says. People don't want to look at it because they are afraid of feeling afraid. And so they speculate, oh my gosh, I don't want to go there because I know it's going to take me down. The first step is normalizing it.” - Tracy Pleschourt

“You have experiences in your past that you made meaning of, and you carried it forward, and that's created this neuropathway. Your brain operates from these very efficient thoughts, aka neuropathways; you think them all the time!” - Tracy Pleschourt

“The problem is the fact that she is operating from a belief that creating or managing a budget is hard. Because that thought has her feeling afraid, which has her doing nothing, NOTHING to get a different result.” - Tracy Pleschourt

Guest Bio:

Tracy Pleschourt, the Founder of Self-Made U, helps men and women create Self-Made wealth and wellness through life coaching. Tracy has mastered and now teaches the critical skills necessary to manage your mind and overcome any obstacle, including overeating, overdrinking, time management, and career & relationship changes.

Resources:

Tracy Pleschourt Instagram

Tracy Pleschourt Website

Tracy Pleschourt Facebook

Tracy Pleschourt LinkedIn

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. We asked Michelle what the best direction to take is, and she said to focus on parenting. If your child does something that you don’t like, such as hit, be sassy, or talk back, instead of correcting them, come to them with complete and utter affection. Turn it into a play-in-the-moment situation, and get silly with it to make the strong feelings easier to get through. Give them a hug, make a joke, and show them that you are there and you love them. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes, new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Peace and Parenting Facebook

Peace and Parenting Instagram

PeaceandparentingLA.com

Email @ [email protected]

Peace and Parenting Podcast

Lesa Koski Website

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast