In this heartfelt and insightful episode of Doing Divorce Different, host Lesa Koski reconnects with renowned family therapist and author Dr. Becky Whetstone to unpack the inner work that supports thriving marriages. Together, they explore why personal healing is essential—not just helpful—for relationship success.

From the lingering effects of childhood trauma to the power of daily habits, Dr. Becky shares practical tools for self-awareness, boundary-setting, and boosting emotional resilience. You'll hear about therapeutic techniques like neurolinguistic programming and core wound healing, as well as simple but powerful strategies like community engagement and physical activity.

Whether you're trying to repair a strained relationship or want to prevent divorce before it’s even on the radar, this episode delivers a powerful message: your marriage is only as healthy as you are.

Key Topics:

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• Why self-care is relationship care
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• How trauma affects love and attachment
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• The importance of emotional boundaries
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• Building self-esteem through self-awareness
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• Daily habits that support emotional stability
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• Tools for ongoing personal development
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📌 Stay tuned—Dr. Becky will return soon to dive deeper into the impact of childhood trauma on adult relationships.

Becky's book

Becky

DIY Parenting Plan Course

Find More From Lesa Here!

jjflizanes.com/lesa

In this week's Saddle Up segment, Lesa shares insights from a recent podcast with Kimberly Miller of Part Wise, focusing on amicable divorces. Key points discussed include signs that indicate readiness for an amicable divorce, the importance of focusing on the future, open communication, and seeking clarity. Lesa emphasizes the benefits of mediation and collaborative law, advising listeners to work together for the well-being of their children and a smoother transition. The episode underscores that the process, though challenging, can lead to positive outcomes when managed thoughtfully and collaboratively.

00:00 Introduction to Saddle Up Segment

00:27 Recap of Podcast with Kimberly Miller

02:23 Signs You're Ready for Amicable Divorce

02:52 Importance of Communication and Mediation

03:36 Focusing on the Future and Clarity

04:26 Advice for Parents Going Through Divorce

05:21 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

In this episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski sits down with Kimberly Miller—an attorney and licensed marriage and family therapist—who is changing the way divorce is approached. With a dual background in law and therapy, Kimberly shares how her work bridges legal strategy with emotional intelligence to support families through respectful, amicable transitions.

We explore her journey from courtroom advocate to holistic practitioner, the power of mediation, and the inspiration behind Part Wise—an educational platform designed to demystify divorce and empower those navigating it.

What You'll Learn:

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• How Kimberly integrates legal and therapeutic practices
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• Why collaborative divorce leads to better outcomes
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• What Part Wise offers and how it's changing divorce education
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• Tips for finding peace and clarity in the midst of legal transitions
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Twin Cities divorce professional Kimberly Miller, JD, LMFT, CFP®, CDFA®, is known for her ability to resolve challenging family issues without resort to aggressive legal strategies that are damaging to vital family relationships. After years of litigating business and family disputes at a prominent national firm, she recognized the devastating psychological and financial impact that litigation can have on individuals, couples, and other loved ones. She decided to establish her own practice to promote alternative forms of dispute resolution, such as collaborative law and mediation, to reach consensus.

Resources:

🔗 Visit Part Wise

🎧 Listen in and discover a better, kinder way to move forward after divorce.

DIY Parenting Plan Course

Find More From Lesa Here!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

In this episode, Lesa welcomes Tami Wollensak, known as the voice of reason for homeowners navigating divorce. They discuss Tami's inspirational story of personal growth and resilience after divorce, specifically her decision to downsize her home for financial and emotional stability. Tami shares the challenges she faced in maintaining a large home post-divorce and how she and her ex-husband remained focused on their children's well-being. The conversation emphasizes the importance of realistic budgeting and adjusting to new financial circumstances post-divorce. The episode concludes with Tami's take on the current volatile housing market and practical advice for those making housing decisions amid fluctuating interest rates.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

00:24 Tami's Journey Through Divorce

01:53 Challenges of Keeping the House

05:58 Financial Realities and Downsizing

12:10 Co-Parenting and Maintaining Focus on Kids

23:16 Reflections and Personal Growth

25:58 Current Housing Market Insights

31:15 Conclusion and Additional Resources

DIY Parenting Plan Course

Find More From Lesa Here!

https://www.newamericanfunding.com/mortgage-loans/tamiwollensak

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

In this episode, Lesa shares her experiences and insights on empowering women through challenging times, particularly focused on divorce. Emphasizing the importance of amicable separations when possible, she discusses the difficulties and emotional challenges that accompany divorce. Lesa also highlights how embracing and sitting with your sadness, alongside maintaining gratitude, can lead to personal growth and a better future. She encourages listeners to see divorce as an opportunity for change and improvement, and offers her support through consultations to help navigate these hard times. Additionally, she introduces an upcoming guest, Tammy Wallensak, who will share her inspiring story of overcoming adversity.

00:00 Introduction and Personal Update

00:08 Empowering Women and Divorce Consultations

01:44 Challenges in Amicable Divorces

02:54 Embracing and Processing Sadness

03:57 Gratitude and Personal Growth

04:14 Advice for Married Couples and Parents

07:01 Raising Resilient Children

08:00 Hope and Responsibility in Hard Times

08:50 Conclusion and Upcoming Episodes

DIY Parenting Plan Course

Find More From Lesa Here!

In this episode, Lesa Koski is joined by Dr. Becky, a family and marriage therapist with personal experience in divorce and co-parenting. They discuss the adversarial nature of the family law process and the importance of pursuing amicable divorces for the well-being of children. Becky shares insights on how to manage co-parenting post-divorce, the psychological effects of divorce on children, and the complexities of blended families. The conversation emphasizes putting children's needs first and avoiding negative influences from friends and family. Dr. Becky also presents her approach of therapists managing amicable divorce processes to help families navigate this challenging time more smoothly.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

00:38 Discussing Divorce and Parenting

01:19 Challenges in the Family Law Process

02:24 The Importance of Amicable Divorce

03:36 Personal Experiences and Advice

14:39 Impact of Divorce on Children

16:12 Blended Families and Stepparent Dynamics

21:16 Concluding Thoughts and Advice

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

In this insightful two-part episode of Doing Divorce Different, I sit down with the incredible Dr. Becky Whetstone—a licensed marriage and family therapist with both professional expertise and personal experience in navigating the emotional terrain of marriage, divorce, and everything in between.

Together, we explore the often-unspoken stages of a dying marriage, what those red flags look and feel like, and how to move from heartbreak to healing through intentional self-growth.

Whether you're working to rebuild your marriage or learning to let go with grace, this conversation will leave you with practical wisdom, hope, and a fresh perspective on your journey.

• The 5 emotional stages of a dissolving marriage
• What “detachment” looks like (and how to notice it early)
• Why self-care is essential—not selfish—during relationship challenges
• How to reframe divorce as a season of growth, not failure
• Why spending time alone post-divorce is one of the most healing steps you can take
• What Dr. Becky learned from her own marriage, divorce, and rediscovery process

• Understand what’s really going wrong in your marriage
• Make empowered decisions for your future
• Shift from blame and shame into clarity and confidence
• Learn how to grow through what you’re going through

📚 Want to dive deeper? Be sure to check out Dr. Becky’s book here and join us next week as we continue the conversation around parenting post-divorce.

Find Becky here: https://marriagecrisismanager.com/

Find Lesa at Lesakoski.com

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

Divorce after 50—often called gray divorce—comes with its own unique challenges and hidden truths. In this eye-opening episode of Doing Divorce Different, I sit down with seasoned attorney Michelle to dive deep into the emotional, financial, and relational complexities of gray divorce.

Whether you’re an empty nester questioning your future, someone who’s felt controlled or stuck in a long-term marriage, or a woman wondering if there’s still time to rebuild her life—this episode is for you.

We’re talking real talk:

💬 Why more couples are divorcing later in life

💬 The financial shock that often hits non-working spouses

💬 What "control" really looks like in a marriage

💬 How to plan for your future with clarity, not fear

💬 The emotional toll of adult children taking sides—and how to rise above it

This episode is filled with wisdom, warmth, and practical steps for women who want to face this season with strength and grace.

🎧 Listen now to find out what no one tells you about gray divorce—and how to move forward with confidence.

What You’ll Learn:

• The emotional and financial realities of gray divorce
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• How to identify hidden patterns of control
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• The importance of a “Plan B” if you’ve been out of the workforce
• Why collaborative divorce may offer more peace
• How to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for the next chapter!

● SOCIAL LINKS: Michele on LinkedIn and

Instagram

● WEBSITE: Here https://www.michelelocke.com/

● CELL NUMBER: 512-820-6252 (call or text)

EMAIL: [email protected]

• Coaching and mediation with Lesa:
• Connect with me: www.lesakoski.com | @lesakoski

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

In this episode of 'Doing Divorce Different,' the host discusses the complexities and emotional aspects of contemplating and going through a divorce. Emphasizing the preference for amicable divorces, the host provides insights on when it might be time to divorce, the importance of personal growth within a marriage, and how to effectively prepare for the divorce process. Key points include the value of coaching, therapy, and building a support team, understanding legal and financial aspects, and the significance of a well-planned parenting strategy for those with children. The host also stresses the importance of being informed and prepared to ensure a smoother transition and a better post-divorce life.

00:00 Introduction and Purpose

00:36 Understanding Amicable Divorce

01:43 Efforts to Save Your Marriage

03:41 The Importance of Self-Improvement

05:46 Navigating Divorce Mediation

07:30 Making the Decision to Divorce

07:57 Gathering Information and Building a Support Team

09:52 Financial Considerations During Divorce

15:49 Focusing on Children and Parenting Plans

16:38 Handling Property and Housing Concerns

18:26 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Book Your Name is Daughter

DIY Parenting Plan Course

Find More From Lesa Here!

Marrie Simpson’s Metabolic Reset

jjflizanes.com/lesa

Frownies

Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

In this heartfelt episode, the host welcomes her dear friend and divorce real estate expert, Tami Wollensak, to discuss the complexities of divorce. They explore Tami's personal and professional journey through a challenging divorce, highlighting the importance of mediation and mindful decision-making. Tami shares invaluable tips on maintaining mental health during stressful transitions, including meditation and lifestyle changes. The episode emphasizes empowering women, especially those over 40, to navigate divorce with clarity, focusing on the well-being of children and future financial stability. Listeners are encouraged to educate themselves and form support teams to ensure a smoother, more informed divorce process.

00:00 Introduction and Special Guest Announcement

00:35 Tami's Personal Journey Through Divorce

00:54 Empowering Women Through Transitions

05:31 The Importance of Self-Care During Divorce

12:27 Tami's Divorce Story

17:07 Navigating Divorce Mediation

24:10 Reflecting on the End of a Marriage

26:30 Navigating Financial Challenges Post-Divorce

DIY Parenting Plan Course

Find More From Lesa Here!

Marrie Simpson’s Metabolic Reset

jjflizanes.com/lesa

Find Tami Here! https://calendly.com/tamiwollensak/30-minute-meeting-divorce?hsLang=en&month=2025-01

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges.

Saddle Up Live Podcast