Resiliency Within

Domestic Violence: Finding the Strength to Leave


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These are the facts: 1 in 4 women globally experience domestic violence. On average, it takes 7 times for most survivors to successfully leave an abusive relationship. But behind the statistics are human beings. One Saturday morning, Beverly Gooden was woken up by her husband shoving her off their bed for no discernible reason. Despite her quick thinking and even quicker footsteps, he caught her, his sudden anger inexplicable. No words were exchanged. He began to strangle her as he had done many times before. With unflinching vulnerability, Gooden details what she had to do to walk away and how others can use her experiences to escape their own abuse. She provides practical advice on things like finances, possessions, and housing—from skimming the grocery money to squirreling away personal belongings, to navigating a domestic violence shelter. As importantly, she offers strategies for overcoming the social and emotional barriers survivors often face, such as overcritical social circles and, most powerfully, love. Uniquely compassionate when it comes to the heartbreak of still loving one’s abuser, Gooden shares how she transformed and extended this love outward, using her story to encourage others to choose themselves. The voice and fire behind #WhyIStayed, she’s exceptionally positioned to explore the many reasons victims stay in abusive relationships, and how they can muster the resources and motivation to leave.
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Resiliency WithinBy Elaine Miller-Karas, LCSW

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