Don't Tell Our Wives: Warm Beer, Cheap Comedy, and News

Often times we chat about comedic news topics 'off air' as much as we do for the full weekly podcast episodes. So we decided to leave the mics on before and after recording to see what happens.

In this bonus episode of Delay Radio Comedy News, we talk about Jethrow's topic of Stormy Daniels and how she is out touring the country...in a unique way. It involves a statue in the likeness of someone we all know, Donald Trump. We also learned that someone threw a wallet at her..but the real question is whether or not she will run for President

On this episode we have...well, bears...and more bears. We have some stories from Reddit. If you didn't know we typically get questions from Yahoo! Answers, but have found better ones on Reddit.

As for actual topics, Honch kicks us off with a story of a bear. This bear was at a zoo in Alberta, Canada...and well, he was behaving so well that his zookeepers decided to take him out for ice cream. Ironically, unlike most stories that we do, this bear did nothing wrong...he just enoyed his soft serve ice cream, or Blizzard, or whatever a bear eats from an ice cream shop.

Did you know that the British accent is something fabricated by people? This was not verified by any news sources..but we decided it is fact. Can someone do the fact checking on this one? After getting off topic...we get even more off topic and we're back on the Laurel and Yanny bandwagon. Stemming from our bonus episode (the one between last week and this week, we still hand to bring it up. Apparently we can't let it go.

Once we talk about the first bear story, Jethrow jumps into company slogans. What slogans that works for one company...wouldn't translate well to others? Honch tought that the "I'm Lovin' It" for McDonald's wouldn't translate well for Pepto. And fun fact for your day, Captain Crunch doesn't have razor blades in it...the cereal just cuts your mouth up.

After going who knows where on the topic train, we had another bear story. This time...a woman in China bought what she thought was a Mastiff, but after 2 years of raising it, it turned out to be an endangered Black Bear....and I re-iterate, 2 YEARS to discover that this 440 pound puppy was a bear.

After talking about the giant puppy Bear, we dove into a question from the Internet. What is something stupid that you've done, but in news headline format? As it turns out, we've done some pretty stupid stuff...and likely what you would classify as a fail, including Jethrow throwing pizza...pepperoni down at someone's windshield. Not by the slice..the entire pizza.

As it turns out, we almost talk as much off air as we do on the air..so we decided to just record some of the conversation that happens between episodes. We're not responsible for our own actions..not on a bonus episode that is.

Hide yo kids and hide yo wife because we're getting our minds blown over this Laurel and Yanny argument. We discuss losing an entire days work over this whole mess...and a whole lot of food and pizza (including food we couldn't really figure out what it is).

In this episode, Steve North is still out hanging with Flo-rida, but is possibly handling diplomatic meetings between the Karate kid and Cobra Kai (sp?).

As you all may have known, May the 4th was upon us, and the London Heathrow Airport may have had the best Star Wars reference. Their flight board featured flights to various locations from the movies, including a 'cancelled' flight for Princess Leah. We thought that was pretty awesome...and the force was definetely strong with them.

D opens up about a Facebook ad that he got from a company called Molekule. The company at first wanted him to cryogenically freeze his body, but then he got another ad later to just buy a air purifier....well, that was dialed back really quick. All of that for having allergies."

After discussing allergies, Jethrow found some questions from the web. Where do people go for low cost legal advice in Oregon? Certainly not Delay Radio....but we would love to hear what your legal dilemma is. We'll do our best to give you some friendly advice. Honch says that good advice ain't cheap, and cheap advice ain't good. Look for the law firm that has that slogan, and then you're pretty set...but hopefully not life in prison.

So Honch has something that he needs all of you to know about when he was travelling back from Minnesota. He discovered that Arby's now has Coke and not Pepsi. So Honch ordered a coke and was beside himself...sucking it down fast, and then goes Facebook live because he couldn't help himself. He has declared Arbys the king of fast food. He is out of his mind, or is he?

Jethrow discovers another question from the Internet. They are trying to figure out good names for video game characters, maybe give them something viral, or...you know, whatever else you come up with. We get diverted a little bit..trying to figure out famous people that have died from STD's.

Is Florida pronounced Flo-rida? Steve North is out on a trip to Florida, so D will open the show without properly introducing the Honch and Jethrow. On this episode, we have the story of stolen Fajitas, airport people, and questions from the web.

We open with Honch talking about traveling in an airport. As it turns out, the most annoying people that you've ever met are stuffed in a plane -- that is how you know that you're traveling. The story begins with Honch going through security -- he takes his shoes off and they are absolutely disgusting, he knew everyone around him could smell them. Honch got the look from a lady in line that she could smell his feet, and he can smell them too. But that's not really the issue - the lady in front of him had piles of electronics, but it is Honch that gets pulled aside by the TSA for a little bit of a pat down, getting the complete full body rub and four fingers. You fill in the blanks, and email us to tell us your funny travel stories. D also chimes in with his story about traveling from Los Angelas to Detroit, where there was some rough air, and a man next to D that was having a complete panic attack, and D had no idea because he was working on his PowerPoint.

Jethrow then takes us from travel stories to questions from the web, with the first one from a person named Anonymous, which we named Jeff. Jeff was curious about including phones in horror scripts for his film writing class -- does it make for a cliche, or holes in the plotline. Somehow we end up talking about Inspector Gadget, and we thought it would make sense to leave the phone in the script, because the killer would just call the phone. And because all of the conversation, the Honch wanted D to lose his number.

After stories and questions, we actually dive into some news. We all know that D likes to eat all meat, but not as much as a Texas man that was sentenced to 50 years for stealing fajitas for over a period of 9 years. Again, a man stole fajitas...sentenced to 50 years in prison for stealing spiced beef, chicken, and peppers (probably onions too).

Instead of ending the show on a 'would you rather', Jethrow talks about taking his wife to the Avengers: Infinity Wars -- where he was running late to the movies. So they ordered their chinese food ahead of time, quickly grabbed it, and ran to the movie. They ended up getting into the movie, but were asked to leave after containers were everywhere. They got kicked out, but came back in...no spoilers.

We weren't sure if we were recording, but it turns out that we're all extreme radio DJ's. Finally this is the second episode that we got all four of the Delay Radio team together in one room, or around one pool table.

Steve North immediately gets us to dive into the news, where we talk about Jim Jong Un, North Korea's leader, visiting China, where they tried to keep it under wraps. People in China were using WeChat to name Kim Jong things like...'Fatty Fatty' and Kim Fat the III - which we turned into an episode of Sesame Street. We think Steve North's name of 'Dicktator' was a better fitting name at the time.

After attemping to poke fun at the country's leader, we dive into questions from Yahoo! Answers. Jethrow finds a man who wants to know whether or not is he dead, and he seems to think that the man is asking the question because maybe he was doing bath salts or Tide Pods. Apparently if everyone you know avoids you or ignores you, you think you might be dead. This leads us to ask, how do you know if you're dead? Honch quickly tells us that if you're able to submit this question online, you're probably alive. The discussion includes a terrible impressions or Mr. T (worst impression ever?).

After questioning our existence, we dive into a story about seafood, perhaps a late-nite snack. Honch prefers Snickers bars or frozen pizzas...not the (digusting French). For a few fake dollars (or real ones), there is now a vending machine for oysters that you can eat late at night (snot out of a rock according to Steve North). And have you ever noticed that they get the names of oysters from where they come from? Steve North tells us about what fruit in your lunchbox tastes like - it makes everything likeold fruit. And then the Honch takes us down his storied past, eating the best and worst foods.....without being dared (hint: Tuna fish).

We then dive into the last Interweb find, where The Jethrow's wife works at a pizza place...and he'll put this Internet gem on your Facebook for you. So a weird band that posted on the page for Mancino's pizza, made a comparison of sex to pizza. Listen in and tell us if it is accurate or not. So we have no idea what is happening with this band....there's a saxaphone, a girl that doesn't know what is happening and doesn't know how to get out of the music video (creeper cam alert). Honch takes us on a side quest to Subway, where he had to make them a cold cut combos with extra meat...or all of the meat. Is it just us that knows you can order double meat on your sandwiches...or order Deluxe?

We end the episode with shakespearian 'would you rathers'. Would you rather drink a gallon of used hot dog water, or a glass of someone elses food sweat? We dive right into the liquid discussion, and it does matter whose foot it is...because we'd much rather drink the hot dog water. And does it have pulp in it? Jethrow ended us out with the feeding of hot dogs (not us, an old girlfriend). That relationship didn't last very long. Jethrow had one more 'would you rather' involving beech sand and the chewing of seaweed, and Honch is completely grossed out by seaweed.

We kick off this funny/comedy news episode being whatever we want to be, or whatever we identify as (some of us are French maybe).

Steve North kicks us off with him wanting D to shut up, but immediately wants him to start talking again because he has some comedy news to deliver. A man from Colorado (stoned?) has been attacked by lions and tigers and bears (oh my). Not really, he was attacked by a shark, he's been mauled by a bear, and bitten by a rattlesnack within a few year period. In his latest encounter, he was attacked by a shark and ended up with only 7 stitches. The man was also once sleeping when a bear started to bite his head. Smokey the bear doesn't have anything on this guy. At the end of the day, with these attacks maybe he was in the wrong place at the wrong time....3 times. Honch goes into a story about saving a puppy (which didn't really happen) to impress someone, but he really just cut his hand on Spaghettios. Steve North's wife had to get some stitches, but she was opening a banana. Bears and snakes...and sharks. Oh my.

After attacking that topic (3 times)...Jethrow goes into a question from '?' on Yahoo! Answers. If you're not vegan, what do you have against going vegan? Honch just thinks it is stupid, Steve North writes down that it sucks. Nothing is more official than when you write it down, and you should leave Steve North alone because he likes to eat animals....for every one animal a vegan doesn't eat, he'll eat 3. Koalas, Toucans, and whatever else you could think of. Why are they made so delicious? (Hint of the episode): None of us are Vegan. Honch's wife was actully vegetarian (or maybe she was vegan) when they started dating...which didn't last long. If you are...how do you know whether or not something tastes like its meat counterpart. But you don't really have to cook any of it.

We went from veganism to poop trains in about 3 seconds. Honch found this story while spending his time on the toilet. Parish, Alabama is a small town with a giant train...carrying New York's poop. There is a lot of paper work (is it rolls of paper work...maybe a lot of red ink involved in this one). There is a giant stinking train stuck in the town...and they can't keep it moving, which is on its way to Georgia. If it is stuck in the town, is the town constipated? Now we have to get on the Internet and define what a 'Alabama poop train' is. We have no idea what is happening...it's a #2 world problem.

Jethrow takes us on a sidebar with a conversation that he had with his wife, which led to a secret menu item at a local pizza joint. Jethrow is one of 'those people' who is into having his toppings on the side. Jethrow will eat it for breakfast...and created a new cereal called 'Opps All Meat', which maybe is a cereal that is made by accident...and yes it has pepperoni and animal shapes. Steve North scared D to death with his little boy impression. We'll leave you put to all of that together by listening to the podcast episode.

After diving out the world of the comedic world of news, would you like to have some fart breath, how about a gallon of essential peppermint oil to fix that? Somehow we ended up on essential oils...no idea. We end the episode with a 'would you rather' about a 45 minute....something..walk, run? D wouldn't do any of those things...because he has a hard time getting to the fridge. In the ends we learned about being bitten, vegans are obnoxious, poop train is real, Opps all meat is a new cereal that we hope hits grocery store shelves. (don't steal this Nabisco).