Dr. UnStuck Podcast — Get Out of Your Head. Get Into Your Life.

Gratitude is a key factor in achieving happiness and creating a fulfilling life. We are the authors of our own story, writing our own script. When we practice gratitude daily, our thoughts begin to shift as neurons respond to this consistent and disciplined effort. Neurons that wire together fire together and this new thought pattern of gratitude and positivity can actually be seen on an fMRI brain scan. Being grateful in advance for what we already have attracts more goodness to our lives  . . . people, money, travel, and many other opportunities. It comes down to simply surviving life or living it to its fullest . . .

Suffering can intensify when we develop the habit of judging and blaming ourselves for our own thoughts and feelings, and this self criticism can fuel depression like lighter fluid. By practicing mindfulness, we can shift this habit to one that cultivates balance as we learn to pay attention to the present moment in a nonjudgmental, curious, and compassionate way. What we practice we inevitably get good at. By practicing mindfulness, we become less reactive and more accepting of ourselves and others. Mindfulness opens the door for us to observe and change how we treat ourselves. 

This week's episode is a continuation of our discussion on the depressed pattern of thinking, how this can sneak up from behind and grab us . . . pulling us down a worm hole where we lose touch with ourselves and what it was once like to feel happy and excited about life. This episode speaks to teens, young adults, and seasoned adults, while also addressing the additional dark forces of the pandemic and blatant racism going on. We will then wind up with a concentrated shift of focus on how to climb out of this worm hole to a lighter and brighter existence, with emphasis on the importance of quality relationships, as well as a sense of purpose, meaning, and accomplishment . . .

Getting swallowed up by the dark thoughts of depression can be frustrating, frightening, and seemingly endless. To make things worse, we are often judged by the world and ourselves for being unable to handle it, and labeled with being attention-seeking, dramatic, and just plain weak. This stigma can attach itself to us like super-glue to the point that we internalize this toxic internal dialogue, believing that something about us must be inherently defective. Join us this week to learn about the cycle of distorted thinking that can pull us into the black hole of depression and ways to manage this.

The mind and body are intimately connected. In fact, it has often been said that if you want to know what's going on in the mind just ask the body . . . as what we think directly affects how we feel. Many of us are also walking around out there with "brain fog" going on and wondering if we're losing it, unaware that the whole world has actually experienced trauma and that trauma significantly impacts the mind and body. Most of us have been in "survival mode" for several months, becoming accustomed to this slow burn and fogged over feeling of uncertainty and fear-based thinking. Those of us who have had past trauma may have had our "switches flipped," bringing us right back to a place of protect-mode, anxiety, and insecurity. Add in the recent racial riots across the country, and anyone experiencing the complex and chronic trauma of racism has been hit even harder by the pandemic. What's going on right now is HUGE and it is important to understand how this is affecting all of us, and to show ourselves  and others the kindness and compassion we so desperately need right now.

It's ironic that what is meant to be a form of connection actually disconnects us from ourselves and others. Most things done in moderation are alright; however, social media is not being used this way by most teens and young adults, with an estimated 7 hours per day of screen time (not counting work or school). This is more than a full-time job and has taken its toll on the younger generations as they feel pressure to stay connected 24/7, and then comparing their very real selves against a backdrop of the ideal. Make-Pretend-Land has become their reality and it is exhausting to keep up with. This constant social comparison has left many teens and young adults anxious, depressed, more distracted and impulsive, with some finding themselves unable to stop. Many check SM sites before they even get out of bed in the morning, before they go to sleep at night, and use social media to avoid boredom and personal responsibilities. Each ding, bing, and buzz notifying us of a new profile update or photo yanks us out of the present moment and into a worm-hole of false reality, robbing us of our valuable life minutes  . . . 

Time to log off . . . and be here.

Say what? Stress can be a positive thing in my life? The answer is yes, it absolutely can, and making this choice to shift to a new and improved positive stress mindset can be life-changing . . . Join us this week for a short and sweet discussion on what defines a negative and positive stress mindset, as well as some simple steps to take action toward a healthier way of living and accomplishing what matters most to you . . .

When the world closed due to Covid-19, many of us were forced to pivot quickly  . . . with schools and colleges shutting their doors on a dime's notice, unforeseen job furloughs, our living room becoming our new office, and instant overwhelming change on the home front with no space or time to call our own.  Students have struggled with the challenges of online learning from home, a loss of independence, routine, and connection with friends. Many parents have been in the trenches doing their very best to do it all, homeschooling while trying to work virtually themselves, while furloughed and under massive financial stress, managing children with special needs now at home full time, and so much more. Lots of us have been giving this thing everything we've got, while one day runs into the next and wondering when this nightmare will be over. Good people have been doing their best, their very best, and still have been left feeling depleted and not enough . . . that they have come up short. If there were ever a time to cut ourselves some slack, it's now.

How we "filter" external information and events has consequences for our lives, especially with how we interpret and process setbacks and failure. When Dr. Seus was just getting started his book was turned down by 27 publishers. Oprah Winfrey, early on in her career, was turned down by a network as they did not think she was "a good fit for television." Children in a low-income public school district, when treated and taught as if they were little geniuses, managed to out-score districts with higher income families and more generous budgets. We often identify with labels early on and our beliefs about ourselves, or mindsets, influence our ability to succeed in school, the workplace, relationships, as well as our overall quality of well-being. 

Some people think that they are inherently pessimistic and that others won the winning ticket in the "Happiness Lottery." They are unaware of how their explanatory style affects themselves as well as those around them. For pessimists, they filter most incoming information as personal, pervasive, and permanent. Optimistic people are less likely to become depressed, are more resilient, and live longer. Learn how to cross over from the dark side to a more optimistic lifestyle . . .